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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

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Original poster

Am I going to have another miscarriage?

104 replies

foundintranslation · 07/07/2006 17:14

Had a positive pg test - faintish line but clear enough and not really faint - last Friday when I was about 3 days late. By my reckoning I must be about 5 + 3 now. Went to the gyn today to have the pg confirmed. They did a test which I didn't see, then a transvaginal scan (usual over here). The gyn said he could see a sac but not that he could see anything in it (it wasn't the best quality image but I could see the sac couldn't see anything in it either) and took blood to check the hCG levels - the results of that should be back on Monday afternoon. He said things to the effect that we need to keep cool and see what happens - not that he thought I might miscarry - but when I asked him directly he did indicate that things were behind what he might expect at this stage. As I was going out I asked the assistant who'd done the pg test what the result was and she said it was a 'really faint' positive. When I got home I did the other test in the pack and the line was exactly the same strength as a week ago - not really faint but not strong either. I have to admit I have a not very positive feeling . I don't have pg 'symptoms', apart from an increased need to go to the loo since yesterday, but I didn't in my last, successful pg either. Am I going to have another mc (I had one, also at about 5/6 weeks, before ds)? After my last pg was successful I really wasn't expecting this to repeat itself and am having a really hard time right now. Has anyone got any stories of similar things happening and everything being OK? I'm feeling guilty too - when I did the test last week it was a bit of a shock and at first I did wish I wasn't pg - but that all changed over the weekend and I realised I was really, really looking forward to this baby. Can't help thinking it was something I did
Would appreciate any advice or just a listening ear!

OP posts:
harpsichordcarrier · 11/07/2006 22:15

Hi FIT, been thinking about you all day. I completely identify with that feeling of "limbo" .
sounds like going into work is a good idea, if it will take your mind off things.
Let time pass, as my grandma used to say.
TOY xx

Original poster
foundintranslation · 11/07/2006 22:22

your grandma sounds wise harpsi. I really don't do patience and uncertainty... Thanks for thinking of me.

OP posts:
Original poster
foundintranslation · 11/07/2006 22:33

Suddenly I'm not OK. Bleeding no worse, but sore tummy. Can't afford to start crying. Got the chorus of that Blur song going through my head - 'come on come on come on, get through it'. Too much hangs on me, I can't break down.
I dreamt of a D&C last night. Have just started imagining something horrible will happen to ds.
I wanted this baby. I want my mum (but my mum doesn't want me)

OP posts:
harpsichordcarrier · 11/07/2006 22:38

oh FIT you really need someone to look after you.
when in your position, I used to have the Daniel Beningfield song "I've Got to Get Through This."
everything you're feeling is so normal and yet so horribly impossible to get through.
HC xx

Original poster
foundintranslation · 11/07/2006 22:46

With apologies for TMI I think it might be happening, now.
Oh shit, shit.
I'm going to lie down, thanks harpsi. xxx

OP posts:
harpsichordcarrier · 11/07/2006 22:49

oh fit I wish I had your phone number.
I wish you were down the road.
I wish I was there.
xxxxxxxxxx

Greensleeves · 11/07/2006 23:03

FIT, just seen this.

Am thinking of you. I wish, wish, wish I could be there.

emkana · 11/07/2006 23:04

FIT
Words fail me, I'm so sorry XXX

Ellbell · 11/07/2006 23:08

FIT... Can I just echo harpsi...? I wish I was there and could do something.

Hang on in there honey. You are so strong and have coped with so much. You shouldn't have to cope with this, but you can... you will.

I am thinking of you so much tonight.

SlightlyFamiliarPeachyClair · 12/07/2006 08:51

Me too, FIT- wish I could help practically

I'm so sorry this is happening to you, but I don't know why you're worried about DS. Remember the next line of the Blur song 'Love's the greatest thing' you look after him well, and you keep him safe.

Thinking of you and sending HUGE hugs

XXXXXXXX

Original poster
foundintranslation · 12/07/2006 09:27

Morning all, and thank you so much for your thoughts/kind words [FIT wells up for the 10th time this morning]
I was pretty frightened last night as there seemed (sorry tmi) to be a 'gush' and (sorry) 'stuff' in it , but it settled down really quickly and I went to sleep. Couldn't believe it - ds slept through (I mean really through) for the first time ever. So proud of him.
Now bleeding slowishly and steadily again - next step will be decided when I ring about the bloods in a couple of hours. I went into work but I'm not really up to it (am absolutely shattered, apart from anything else) and had to get the students to wrap up their presentation early. Now I'm just typing some assessments and am then going to drag myself home.

OP posts:
harpsichordcarrier · 12/07/2006 09:31

morning FIT. glad you got some sleep. well done ds - let's hope he can repeat it tonight?
good for you for trying to work, but good plan to go and get some rest.
hope you are taking care of yourself.HC xx

Greensleeves · 12/07/2006 09:41

FIT, I agree with HC, if at all possible you should be resting. Be nice to yourself. We're all thinking of you. xxxx

julezboo · 12/07/2006 10:01

FIT - So sorry to hear what you are going thoughr, I would imagine you are close to 6 weeks now. Did you get the blood results yet. I wont harp on about it all still being ok cos i know from experienceits the alst thing you want to hear. But u will tell you that I am pg now, just before i hit 6 weeks i had a massive bleed, and the gush you talk about, bright red, i stupidly assumed it was all over and stopped my medications for 2 whole days. Im kicking myself now because 3 days after bleeding i was taken ill into hospital because I collapsed (thought Id mc so lost appetite) They found a heartbeat and baby was measuring right for dates. I have conitually spotted since then and fast approaching 8 weeks. I have had anohter u/s and baby was ok, will get anotther one on fri too, bit nervous about it.

Anyway enough rambling, what Im trying to say is bleeding doesnt always mean loss sweetie, i was convinced it did, Id been through it so many times, even now I am having a hard time convincing myself that fri u/s will be good news. Im thinking of you x x x GL for blood results x x

Piffle · 12/07/2006 10:13

FIT I hope you're ok, I know what an awful feeling it is not knowing.
Take care honey
xxxxxxxxxxx

Original poster
foundintranslation · 12/07/2006 11:18

Rang doctor, the hCG is falling, that's it then. Because it's not falling fast he recommends a d&C. I'm going to the hospital this afternoon to have a scan and a chat about it and then maybe book in for tomorrow morning.
I am at home now and what a comfort it was to cuddle my tired ds and feed him to sleep.

OP posts:
Original poster
foundintranslation · 12/07/2006 11:23

second mc it's hitting me now. Is there something wrong with me? or is it just horrible, cruel, awful bad luck?

OP posts:
Greensleeves · 12/07/2006 11:32

Oh, no FIT. I'm so, so sorry to hear this. You must feel devastated. You'll need to give yourself time, sweetheart. I know you want answers and reasons, but you must rest and let yourself be sad, too.

I don't know what to say, I'm so sorry.

((((((((big hug and kiss))))))

tribpot · 12/07/2006 11:43

So, so sorry fit I'm sure it's no comfort but I have friends who have had 2 mcs and gone on to have babies - I think it's just horrible, horrible bad luck

SlightlyFamiliarPeachyClair · 12/07/2006 11:48

So sorry FIT

thinking of you XXXXXXX

Ellbell · 12/07/2006 11:53

Oh FIT, I'm so sorry to hear this news. I am rushing now, as at work (but just had to check in to see if there was news), but will email later. D&C is OK, honestly, and only takes a few minutes (I think I was only under the anaesthetic for about 15 mins).

Am so proud of your ds sleeping through for you. What a star boy!

Sending you loads and loads of love. Try to stay calm.

Ellbell

Marina · 12/07/2006 12:17

With a successful pg in between it is almost certainly the cruellest form of rotten bad luck FIT
Sending you lots of love. So sorry XXX

emkana · 12/07/2006 12:53

I'm so sorry FIT
A friend of mine had a miscarriage, then a healthy boy, then a miscarriage, then two more healthy boys.
Another friend also had two miscarriages and now has three healthy children.
I'm sure there's nothing wrong with you, it is just rotten bad luck. Es tut mir so leid fuer Dich - fuehl' Dich gedrueckt!

Original poster
foundintranslation · 12/07/2006 17:14

Been to the hospital. They were all really nice and sensitive, even when I broke down It was really strange being there, as it's the hospital I had ds in and the memories bound up with it are so much happier than these. Had a scan and the sac is gone , but there's still so much womb lining etc. and the bleeding is still pretty slow, so they feel a D&C would be the best option and as scared as I was at the idea, I'm inclined to agree. I've got to go in at 7 tomorrow morning and will probably be 'done' sometime after 8, home by midday if all goes well. They said I should pump & dump once because of the anaesthetic, but also that it wouldn't hurt ds (might just make him sleep a bit longer...), so I'm wondering whether to bother pumping?

The doctor who spoke to me said it's probably bad luck, because the mcs weren't consecutive and there had been a healthy pg in between. It's funny, I'm such a doom and gloom merchant usually, but after having ds I really thought I wouldn't - almost 'couldn't' - have another mc. That's me dis-illusioned.

Thank you so much again everyone - your messages are really helping me get through.

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MrsJohnCusack · 12/07/2006 17:23

oh FIT I missed all this as no internet

I am so, so sorry you're going through this, how horrible

But you do know there is nothing wrong with you. Look at the gorgeous DS you've produced. It's most likely just really awful bad luck but of course it's natural to look for a reason, and I'm so sorry