Recurrent miscarriage testing and beyond.. Part 6.. Over here!

[orangebowl]

We have filled up the last thread so here is the next.. Deep breath and grit your teeth for the roller coaster of emotions that continues... Hope tea and butterfly and all find it!

I've been there Butterfly, stiffling back tears while trying to get on with things, or even on my own when I just didn't feel like crying again and force myself to watch/read/listen to something. I really wish there was a place where I could just pitch up and they'd kind of mother me in a good way and get all the tears out and then return to the world again with having got that out of my system. I hate trying to manage my own moods around this. A colleague at work, her partner died, and she walks around saying she is in a mood and won't take this or that. I keep mine to myself and put on a social facade and then become drained.

I don't get sore boobs with my cycle, only when pg, so I can't help with that one. Do you normally get sore boobs?

I'm cd 17 but my cycle ranges by 7/8 days, and our attempt this month was pretty half hearted on my part. We've got an appt with the consultant at the end of the month about the results of all our tests so I think I'm waiting. The appt is such that I will have only just found out I'm pg if it happens this month so that could be good timing... unless they say we're carrying the gene for some hideous thing.

(and I'm supposed to be working and instead wondering if I should make pop corn, oh dear!)

I keep mine to myself too people ask how are you and I always say I'm fine when really I should say actually this is hideous and I'm really not ok, but most of the time people wouldn't know how to respond so I just pretend.

Sometimes I get sore boobs but normally later. My boobs are probably messed up too!! Unless I ovulated earlier.
My app with my consultant is 2 days after my period is due funnily enough.

I'm supposed to be doing my housework! Get yourself some popcorn made stuff the work :)

Butterfly glad you're feeling a bit better. Although I know what you mean about not seeing people - I'm never sure how moody I'm being until I have to be sociable and then I usually realise I'm in a grump! I also only get sore boobs when pregnant (although since DD they haven't actually been sore during my pregnancies but that might be because they didn't get far enough?). Anyway if I got sore boobs Id think I was pregnant. But CD18 sounds pretty early (although this is from the person who was convinced they had morning sickness about 2 dpo!).

Twenty feel free to rant any time!! Everyone keeps telling me how well I cope but I can't be bothered to be coping. Sometimes I just want to shout at everyone. But I don't as its not exactly socially acceptable. Plus I can't bear the thought of people feeling sorry for me. Anyway you can be as angry and miserable as you like on here. The antithesis of the happy conception threads!!

In the end I opted for tea with toast with home made marmalade. I've been officially off the clock for 30 minutes now though so I only feel a little guilty!

I hate the pretending bit Butterfly, mostly because I think I'm too nice and wouldn't want to impact on anyone with my mood. But also, truthfully I don't want to talk about it at work, or most places - I barely speak to oh about it.

We're at similar stages in our cycles but yours seems reliably longer. Good luck. How are you with symptom spotting? How long ago did you ovulate? I symptom spot, I test like mad, etc. I basically used to hate the 2ww but now think it's relatively so much better than the time between af and ovulation. Does that phase have a name?

Ooh, yes, Tea, I also can't bear the thought of anyone feeling sorry for me. My fear is that I will be thought of as "that friend of so and so's who left it too late and just had a string of miscarriages, no baby, how sad, tsk". I was told by a couple of people that I was stoical with this last one and I felt a sense of pride over managing to keep the craziness private.

I know cd18 would be very early I'm not getting all mental thinking I'm pregnant just a bit curious. I wonder if you can get sore boobs when you ovulate, they are tender down the sides then I keep getting like a achy shooting pain. God only knows my poor body doesn't know where it's at!!

I just googled "sore breats after ovulation and got this off something called Babymed,

A: Many women normally experience sore or tender breasts right after they ovulate (the 2 ww) and until they get their next period. Some of these women may turn out to be pregnant while many others will get their period and are not pregnant.

There are several possible reasons for breasts to be sore after ovulation:

Normal Ovulation
Sore breasts after ovulation usually come from the progesterone hormone and are a very good sign that you have ovulated. Witch each day after ovulation your progesterone increases until you either get your period (it then goes down) or you are pregnant (it then goes up).

So I wonder if at the very least you could take it as a sign of ovulation?

Thanks twenty! Well I don't really track but if I go by ewcm I usually ovulate around cd18 which was yesterday so that ties in with the sore boobs, I suppose it's maybe a good sign my progesterone is ok. I try not to symptom spot if I can help it and seeing as we are just "seeing what happens" I'm trying not to think about it too much.
How long ago did you ovulate?

Ps I think it's called the follicular phase??

Ooh, thanks, Butterfly.

I don't know when I ovulated. Usually it's clear but this month I got a pos on both cd 13 and cd 16. (I've stopped testing as I've never had a cycle go longer than 31 days. I had some very strong ovary twinges starting from cd 9 up until yesterday, so I imagine, with my no-medical-knowledge brain, that ovulation was a chore for my body this month and it might not have happened. OR I could be 1 or 4 dpo, who knows! We only dtd twice so I was also googling for the shortest life span of sperm hoping to have covered our tracks but unfortunately sperm can die really quickly! This will be a weird 2ww.

I respect your "seeing what happens". I too easily go down the route of symptom spotting/testing, but somehow it doesn't depress me.

Hello, I'd like to join you all if that's OK? I've spent the morning reading the thread, I got my 3rd BFP last week but started to bleed on Monday. I was about 6 weeks, each MC has been around the same time so all too early for scans. The GP has referred me to the EPAU but the appointment isn't until Friday. I'm at home today just cannot face work and we have three pregnant girls in the office, so it's all a bit much really.

We have been TTC for nearly 2 years, I'm 32 DH is 37, no DC's. just wanted to share really as you have all said it is really shitty and difficult to tell friends family. Although school your news is just fantastic and gives me hope that there will be a happy ending

Hi Coffeeandwalnut and welcome! So sorry that you've found yourself here though and sorry for your losses. I hope we can help support you. It's pretty cr@p isn't it?!

Will you ask to be referred for tests now that you've had 3? I would stay off work for as long as you feel you need to. You need time to recover physically and emotionally. It's just the worst when everyone else is pregnant - everyone I know seems to be pregnant! Have you told many people in RL about the mcs?

Hi coffee. ( now we have a tea and a coffee!). So sorry for your losses. As tea says will you get yourself referred for tests now? At how many weeks had your miscarriages been?

Oh I am most definitely not out of the woods yet and still need you all! . Still got that doubt and worry (although do feel a bit more positive after 12 week scan).

Welcome coffeeandwalnut sorry that you find yourself here. You will get a lot of good advice from the ladies on here x

Well don't know what's going on with my cycle I've got light brown spotting that started yesterday cd21 and had back cramps, I'm either going to get af super early or my cycle is just totally messed up...aarrrrggghhh!

Hi ladies after a bit of advice if I can please af was due on 12/2 but still nothing done a test and its a bfn feeling sick a lot but feel like af is coming but nothing happens has anyone else had this? Not many other symptoms bit of cramping and back ache did think it would be bfp but unfortunately not :( confused as I am normally regular t.i.a. Xx

I have just read a post on another site and am now panicking if the pregnancy is eptopic would the test show + or - it said neg but I am not sure starting to worry x

Hi Lands it is still possible you could be pg and it's not showing yet you could have ov later than you thought or your af could just be a couple of days late. I usually have regular cycles but they have been a bit messed up after mc's, your mc was quite recent (dec?) so your body might be still settling back down.
I'm not sure about ectopic I would think it would still show + as the hormone is there I could be wrong though, try not to worry yourself about that I think you sometimes bleed with ectopic and have one sided pain and pain in the shoulder. I would keep an eye and test in another couple of days if no af, hope it's a bfp for you x

Thank u hopefully worrying about nothing x

Hi ladies,

Introducing myself after just going through my third miscarriage a couple of weeks ago and feeling pretty shitty about it. I had my first last March at just under 16 weeks and fell pregnant again a couple of months later but the scan showed an empty sac. My lovely husband and I then moved back from his native Australia to my native Scotland, started trying again in January, found out I was pregnant at about 4 weeks and then I started bleeding at 5 and a half weeks which led into a full period and negative test. We thought it would be different this time as we were making huge efforts to do everything right and I was back home etc...

I'm currently waiting to be allocated to a GP and then have a referral to a lovely OB who my mum works with which I'm quite dreading even though I like and trust him, I just feel like I don't want to be in this situation any more and I talk about it again. I had a barrage of tests after my first loss because it was further on, nothing came up and now I'm wondering what's next.

I am overweight but generally fit and healthy, feeling guilty about myself at the moment though and not really showing myself much love if I'm honest... Just want to keep trying but I'm so terrified of going through it again xxxx

So many posts since I last checked!

Butterfly do you think it could be implantation bleeding? Although I kind of hate it when that's suggested as I usually think its just wishful thinking. I know how annoying it is when your cycle goes crazy and you don't understand what's going on inside. I was going insane when I had no AF and no bfp and actually felt miles better when AF finally turned up as at least I knew where I stood! Do you know if you definitely ovulated?

Lands I agree with Buttefly. Definitely don't panic yet. If it was ectopic firstly you'd still get a bfp and secondly you wouldn't have pain yet - midwife told me it usually shows up between 6-8 weeks in one side. Chances are your cycles have just gone a bit haywire and you ovulated a bit later. Just try to hang on in there and test again in a couple of days if no AF. Ugh I hate all this it's so confusing isn't it?!! We all seem to have crazy cycles - I'm sure being total pregnancy stress heads doesn't help.

Josie and Buggerlugs (can I call you that?!!) welcome to the thread and I'm so sorry you've ended up here. Seems to be getting busy at the moment which is sad as we're all having a rubbish time but at least there are others going through the same thing. I hope we can all offer you some support and somewhere to rant!!

Seems like you've both had tests and nothings been found. What tests have you had so far? I have also had quite a few tests and nothings been found. Although I've not gone down the NK cells route yet as several of the consultants I've seen (4in total now!) said I don't really fit the 'type' however if I have another loss I probably will. I also haven't had the intensive St Mary's clotting issue tests or the hidden infection tests. Anyway I guess what I'm saying is that if you want to carry on with testing there is probably more you can have. However whether you want to spend the money and wait longer and potentially still find nothing is another matter. I keep finding stories of women having numerous miscarriages and still having normal pregnancies. I also couldn't even decide who to see for tests as everyone has their own theories and so does different tests. It's pretty confusing!

Do you have any DCs yet? Sorry to reply to you both together just seems like you're at a similar stage in this crappy process.

Josie did they test the baby that you lost for chromosomal abnormalities? I'm so sorry that happened to you. I've been 'lucky' in that my latest loss was at the 12 week scan but it must just be horrendous to get to the 'safe' stage and still lose your baby.

Anyway think I've rambled on long enough!

Thank you I went to see my gp to b on the safe side and he told me the same I feel a bit silly tbh I hope if af not here by Monday I get a bfp fingers crossed x

Welcome to the new ladies but I'm sorry that you find yourselves here, I hope we can give you some good advice. I would have written similar replies to tea so I'll leave it at that, feel free to chat anytime x

Tea implantation crossed by mind I won't deny it! But is that possible as early as day22? It's light brown hasn't progressed to anything else so far. I don't know if I def ovulated I really should do opk then I would know, my last cycle was on time even thought it was first one after mc so I just assumed I was back to normal it's so. annoying isn't it! X

According to Dr Google that's exactly when implantation would occur!! But don't want to get your hopes up. I also get breakthrough bleeding when my hormones are being crazy. Fingers crossed for you.!

Really?! For some reason I thought it was when af is due, I'll try not to read too much in to and and just wait and see don't want to get my hopes up when it might just be a crazy cycle!
How are you doing? X

Well not too long til u can test. Have you ever had implantation bleeding before? I feel like its a bit of an urban myth...!

I'm doing ok at the moment. I'm usually ok during AF though and its finished now so probably should start ttc again soon! Need to try to stay sane this cycle though as kind of lost the plot last time. I've given up eating healthy an am just trying to exercise instead. Makes me much happier eating cake and drinking proper tea!! Just trying to think positive and praying it works this month. Watched OBEM last night & keep thinking I wish I'd started ttc when I was 20!!!! Feel so old at 33....!

How are you feeling?

I had implantation bleeding with pg 2 and 3 a few days before af was due I thought it was rare to get it but obviously not, with the last pg when I rang up to arrange scan I mentioned I'd had spotting she said it sounds like ib so they must believe in it too, didn't make them stick any better though :(

Glad you are feeling ok :) I try to eat healthy but sometimes you just need naughty things! I watched obem too they were very young last night! This series has been good didn't cover it last night but the last few episodes have featured women who've had a couple of mc I don't know if you've seen it I cried at those episodes but it's good that they touched on it.

I'm ok I've been very relaxed and was proud of myself but it's when I get in to the 2ww it all goes to pot and this is me not really trying! I hope you manage to not lose the plot and you get lucky this month...it's valentines night so get bd'ing!! None for me though I'm afraid :( x