Recurrent miscarriage testing and beyond.. Part 6.. Over here!

[orangebowl]

We have filled up the last thread so here is the next.. Deep breath and grit your teeth for the roller coaster of emotions that continues... Hope tea and butterfly and all find it!

Hi, I'd like to join this thread please. I may just lurk first of all to catch up if that is ok.

I have had an EPRC for a mmc today (diagnosed last week at 8 plus 4, which was the correct measurement for the date). This is my 3rd mc in a row in the last 10 months (others were natural and complete). I also have a 3yr old DD.

You seem like a nice bunch, with desperate bad luck, and I'm glad to have found you.

Picardy how brave. I am sure your song comforted the poor girl, so sad for you and selfless though.

Well, good news and scary news they don't think hetero topic cuz my pg is falling and (thankfully) hcg is slooowly falling again. Though there was no molar in the sample checked for that, the embryo had 69 chromasomes - common in a partial molar. So I've been passed on to Charing X, but the fact I'm down to 340 hcg after 5 weeks is being touted as a positive sign re needing monitoring not chemo. Appointment Friday, so not scary urgent but not too far. Worried though ... As per usual!

Donttrythis so sorry to hear your story. Hope you get tests and answers, or simply some good luck soon! Take care.

Thanks squiz I actually had investigations after the second mc due to my age, and they found nothing. Now they are sending tissue off to the lab though.

I can't quite follow what is happening to you, but I think you are in limbo as to whether your mc is complete? I am so sorry to hear this, and hope it is resolved soon.

I saw upthread your comment about it being so annoying to have to push for what you need. It too makes me angry that less pushy/confident people just may not get the help they need. My consultant seems fairly rubbish - when I first saw him he said he tells all "his ladies" that they must relax and not be stressed so they don't mc. He was very put out when I pulled him up on this. he gives infuriatingly vague, dismissive answers to any questions. I do think he means well in that he isn't nasty, but incompetent I fear...

Hello, donttrythis. So sorry for what you've been through - how devastating and draining . You will certainly find good support - and understanding - here.

squiz, I'm sorry things aren't resolved yet. Still have everything crossed for nothing scary or sinister. Everything crossed for you too, tea.

I honestly don't know how I managed to sing either, tbh. I suggested it out of nowhere when the vicar told me about the service and I think didn't realise what an impact it would have. There was no organist available so it was a cappella on top of everything else. I had a complete words blank-out at one stage so had to sing the third verse while remembering the words to the second .

Thanks Picardy. I have read a little of your story. You have been throuugh the flames. The singing sounds heartbreaking. I love to sing myself, maybe it was good in a way.

Tbh I think I am a medical freak lol! Basically they thought I had an incomplete erpc... Then hetero topic... Then partial molar. At least while they monitor me my bloods seem to be edging down...

PS. That was a wry, bittersweet lol. I always wanted to stand out from the crowd...

Sounds like you know way more about complications of pregnancy than anyone should have to. Not a freak (!) (mind you the older you get the more I think we are all freaky in our own lovely ways), just terribly bad luck. x

Oh, singing definitely very therapeutic. I take lessons, and the first one I had after the mc my teacher and I did no 'work' as such and just sang our hearts out, the whole musical literature of pain really. It absolutely helped.

Your consultant - well, he would have lost me after the 'ladies', never mind all the 'don't be stressed' crap. I also love the way (more generally now) 'relax' is so often preceded by 'just'. It does sound like your cons quite possible doesn't know a lot about rmc. Are you going for a referral to one of the clinics?

Sadly picardy he is the consultant in the rm clinic!
He also helpfully told me right after last weeks scan when the mac was discovered (which he didn't even discuss with me), that if I had strength I'd have another baby. That's right, stressed weak women killing babies with their silly little worries. You wouldn't mind but I have been the epitome of calm around him too. He sees what he wants to see, very sloppy and unprofessional. Also asked why I wold want to see the results of my tests, like I was mental or something. And so on...

the singing sounds great- just around the house here but secretly dream of being a country and western/folk queen!

mmc not mac.

Rmc clinic not rm.

iPad...

he sounds as if he's in the wrong job!

Hi Donttry. I think it must be something they are taught at miscarriage classes. My consultant keeps asking hopefully if my job is stressful and telling me that she is confident I'll have my baby within the year (will have to be born pretty preemie now)
Strong and relaxed, girls, that's all there is to it. I can't understand why we are finding it so difficult.
I didn't go in to work yesterday and sod's law bleeding has slowed to a trickle so felt a complete fraud. It did give me the chance to read "is your body baby friendly" cover to cover though, which is pretty scathing about unexplained miscarriage. Worth a read. I've made enquiries about how you get to see Prof Quenby, though haven't discussed with DH yet, he might put the kibosh on it. Or at least say, wait until this one is over first, eh?
Scan on Thursday. Groundhog day.

Good luck on Thursday baking I don't think you are a fraud at all not to go to work. Not to sound like my consultant, but giving yourself time is very important. I've booked a week off work even though I feel scarily fine!

Where is Prof Quenby? Seriously considering trying to get a referral to another rmc clinic. I'm in Brighton so could go easily to London. Does the GP refer you or do you need to get your current consultant to refer you?

Hi Dontry. Sorry you've found yourself here but I hope you find it a help & you will definitely get some good advice and support as unfortunately we all know what you are going through.

Your doctor sounds familiar!! I've been told by 3 consultants that my 3 mc were probably bad luck and if we keep trying and dont stress we'll be fine. Id like to see them not stress after losing 3 pregnancies!!

Although I am dubious as I think there is always a cause for every mc, I do think there's some truth in it as I think most people if they kept going for long enough would end up with a baby. It's just how much you can go through. It is also interesting that many of the causes of rmc don't always lead to mc. For example a friend of mine has just had her 2nd child and during the c-section was found to have a heart shaped womb. Now if she'd had rmc I would have been presumed that the shape of her uterus caused it and she'd probably have had it operated on. However it doesn't appear to have caused her problems.

Not sure what I'm getting at really just that I'm nervous of spending a fortune and going through painful and expensive tests and treatments when it might be possible to get a baby just through perserverance. I'm not saying I won't do it though as I like to know reasons for things and I'm convinced that medical science just hasn't figured out why some women are more susceptible to chromosomally abnormal pregnancies.

Anyway sorry for my musings - been up since 4am again so have had a lot of time to think & am probably slightly deranged from lack of sleep!!

Yy tea to science not having got there yet. I am a complete mystery - five mcs, three of them before the age of 30, never more (yet ) than two in a row, and two healthy children. If the Factor V and MTFHR were the decisive factors, I should have mcd my children too, as they weren't diagnosed, much less treated, back then. All mcs have been very different from one another, but it's too many to be 'chance'.

Prof Quenby is in Liverpool and the Midlands. I think you can self refer if you are being seen as a private patient.
There's Lesley Regan in London, or Dr Shehata if you want to look into the NK cells and reproductive immunology side of things. I don't think Lesley Regan does anything the other RM consultants don't do (but haven't seen her so take that with pinch of salt). Her book is v much along the same lines my current consultant has taken.

Picardy did you have any other issues with your successful pregnancies - like bleeding, pre-eclampsia, low birth weight, prem birth etc? I also wonder how I had my DD after mc1 and before mc2&3. Had absolutely no probs with that pregnancy except gestational diabetes which as far as I can see doesn't relate to any of the recognised causes of rmc, except for pcos. But noone can explain why women with pcos are more susceptible to mc. Very frustrating!!

Lesley Regan's clinic (which I HOPE I'm still eligible for) does the same tests as many other clinics... but seems to get finer results (i.e. people who have come up with 'nothing' are found to have a mild case of something and treated, with a high success rate). It sounds like she does well what some others don't do well? And she doesn't believe in stress as a factor according to her book.

With immunology you have to be careful - some out there don't treat unterine immune cells just blood ones. If it comes to it, that's why I'll go to Quemby privately over a more local clinic.

Emailed about my tests Friday for partial mole. They said at this point in time I am being referred as an outpatient... phew, I've heard of people being kept in!! I HOPE I can go on hols. Even if I have to pay a private GP in Norfolk (UK hol) to do the bloods...

Hi tea
So sorry to hear about your experiences (been piecing it together from the thread). Some people do seem to have babies against the odds (e.g I have a daughter and had 3 pregnancies after that despite having a low egg reserve according to tests 4 years ago). But is so heartbreaking to just keep going with the TTC with it ending in mc with no explanation.

I seem to have a short Luteal phase i.e. 10-12 days. Could this have an effect on mcs does anyone know?

Thanks everyone for the info about consultants. Not sure whether I'll try to change or not. Think I"ll get tsome tests at the GP and then think about it.

So glad you can go to Norfolk squiz. And fab weather. Trying to persuade DH to go camping later in the week, just nearby in Sussex in case I start bleeding heavily or anything after my ERPC yesterday. Think some quality family time around a campfire and nature is just what is needed.

I don't know whether short luteul phase can be helped by progesterone supplements - I'm on them now and took then with DD but not sure if that's what made the difference. However I thought that as long as the luteul phase was at least 10 days it was ok? At what stage were your mc if you don't mind me asking?

Oh is 10 days ok? Great!

Mcs were at 6,7 and 8 weeks.

Not 100% sure just remember reading that. I don't really know anything but I'd have thought that a short luteul phase would affect implantation or cause very early mc? Obviously speak to someone with qualifications about this though!

I'm just clutching at straws aren't I...?!