Recurrent miscarriage testing and beyond.. Part 6.. Over here!

[orangebowl]

We have filled up the last thread so here is the next.. Deep breath and grit your teeth for the roller coaster of emotions that continues... Hope tea and butterfly and all find it!

Tea, good to catch up with you. I think I prob ovulated around day 15, if at all (ov tests didn't pick it up) so would be 12dpo today... 11 yesterday. Surely a test would have been accurate yesterday. It's so rubbish isn't it. Have you had the crampy pains at this time before? I feel like I've had every pregnancy symptom going at one point or another and still turned out not to be pregnant..!

Squiz, I agree with what Baking said about your appointment. I hope you get the letter soon so you know when it is. My consultant asked loads of questions. I think I just made sure I wrote down the dates of the miscarriages and at what point they happened as that was the first thing she asked. I made a note of a couple of things that concerned me, like could my diet be better. But while she listened I could tell she knew there were more likely causes and she wanted to investigate those before entertaining the possibility it could be something I was worrying about. And as it turned out they found a blood clotting problem and did quite thorough investigations on whether fibroids could have caused the mcs, so I was quite happy they did the testing well. I hope you get someone good too. Definitely write stuff down you might otherwise forget because I didn't feel rushed so I think they would have been okay spending more time answering questions. Do whatever you need to to feel better really. And be prepared for lots of blood tests!

OOOH exciting, DH just emailed me to say I have a letter from St Mary's. Hope it contains DATES!!! SWEET SWEET DATES! I know they'll be a few months away but I just feel I need to feel I am doing something so much, 3 MCs make me feel like one of life's losers and I don't give up without a fight!!

No. It was a parking ticket. DH doesn't even understand why I am angry with him stupidly emailing me to say the thing I had been waiting for was here when he didn't look at it properly or think it would have an NHS postmark. I rushed home I was so excited now I just feel disappointed and a fool.

for Squiz. Sorry you had your hopes raised and dashed.

This is twentythirteen. I took an absence from these threads for a week and namechanged when it dawned on me with a powerful thud that I would not be having a child this year and that my stupid name was just a reminder of groundless hope. I'm not actively upset, just feeling pinned to the wall with it. I didn't ss this month, wasn't into it at all, and this morning the expected af arrived. Am having a glass or two and an early night.

Sorry about your bfn Guppie, is that definite or are you still in with a chance?

Squizita, that's terrible, not only was it not a proper letter but it's a parking ticket.

Good luck with your 2ww Tea and fx for those twinges!

(Ps, I'm not sold on this name as it's still too baby related for my comfort so don't be surprised if I change a bit, hope it doesn't cause too much confusion!)

Wow I took ages over that, I missed your post, Hi Baking!

2013 doesn't sound like a lucky year to have a baby though, does it? A mini-chandelier in 2014 has a much better ring to it!

Twenty/chandelier - good to catch up with you again! I hope I can get used to the new name... Totally understand why you wanted to change it though.

Sorry about your BFN. I thought my AF started this morning but it seems to have stopped again. This happened last month too. I'm kind of pissed off with it as feel it indicates a problem with my cycles or hormones or something so think I'm going to call the consultant next week and if she can't help go to the doctor. I need to register with a new one as just moved house so guess they won't have my medical records but hopefully they can still help.

Sorry to hear of AF Chandelier. Hope next month brings more luck your way.

Guppie - how annoying with your AF. Amount of blood doesn't signify that much (as they vary so much) but see your doc if unsure. Although late implantation can cause a 'fake' AF for a day or so, happened to me and others I know, don't want to artificially raise hopes but maybe a test on morning wee to absolutely rule that out?

I just rang St Mary's as my letter saying I had been referred from 2 weeks ago asked me to ring today if nothing had arrived yet. The lady was nice but I don't think she had any record of me there at her desk, she has taken my details and is liaising with patient services to check my referall did indeed arrive! If it didn't I will be brokenhearted it will put back treatment months; not to mention furious with my local NHS admin who aren't the best as you all know. Just waiting in limbo now!!
Still got twinges and aches in my side. I know rationally from ALL THOSE SCANS and bloods that they ruled out ectopic (with HCG 9000+ and PG 180 and a massive floppy uterine sac = minimal risk). But it scares me nonetheless. I would be 10 weeks now also, so it would have been incredibly painful if it was that!!

13th August... YEAH! I will be impatient till then but at least no snoopers at work etc'! :)

Glad you got a date through, Squiz.

Hi everyone,
Very glad you got your date Squiz- I know how it feels better to have a plan and feel like your moving forward.

Twenty/ chandelier.. Hope you are ok. Just saying hi
Same to tea and guppie as well..
On phone so sorry if I've missed people.

I am ok. Getting a bit of back ache now but not complaining. Now 25+2 with 7 weeks of work left before I start Mat leave. Feeling baby move a lot now which is reassuring.

Can't remember who was asking earlier (and think it was on this thread but might not have been!) I was diagnosed with APS I was advised to start aspirin and night dose follic acid from BFP them heparin injections once heartbeat seen at 6 weeks.. And after 4 miscarriages its got me here So for me was good advise ( touching wood). X

Squiz, that's good news you've got a date for your appointment. I remember feeling a lot of relief that things would be different next time, either because they would diagnose a problem or because of the extra support I'd get from the hospital.

I phoned my consultant's office Friday to see if I'd be able to see her as I'm concerned it's taking us so much longer to conceive this time and my periods seem to still be abnormal (I'm having a mega one from hell this month - had 3 days of horrible cramping when usually it's just one and it's really heavy). Her secretary said that as it's a new problem I'd need to be referred again by the doctor, so I've made an appointment with them Tuesday. I'm not sure if they will refer or do some tests or tell me to try for a bit longer... I just want some reassurance really about the best thing to do.

OH's sister gave birth to her first baby yesterday. I think if my last one had worked out I would have had a one month old myself now. It's made me feel a real sense of longing for a baby as well as feeling like a horrible person for feeling resentful towards her for stepping into my place. It's not her fault after all. I'm also being quite off with OH... it's like all the happiness his family is feeling and expressing about the baby is just deliberately insensitive to me. Pretty self centred of me, but how do you stop feeling it?!

School, it's great to hear everything is going well and it must be a big comfort to feel the baby moving around. Are you feeling any side effects from the heparin or is it okay? You must be expert at jabbing yourself with a needle now! x

Guppie - hope the docs see you and advise you soon! How frustrating to be waiting.
It must be tough with a new baby in the family. As you say, no one can help being pleased, but it must be tough. Could you take some time out, a weekend away or something to let off steam?

School - good to hear how it worked for you... Inspiring! I know they might just offer TLC but at least someone reliable is looking out for me then.

I'm terrifying myself with my (same as last 2) one sided afterpains. Logic says ectopic ruled out by scans n blood prior to ERPC but hormonal pessimist brain is freaking out. Its blatantly my cyst shrinking, but if it throbs I freak!

Hi all, checking back in but name- checking is difficult from phone - sorry!

Squizita - glad your appt has come through and the molar worries worked out. I know what you mean about twinges - I have Freddie the Fibroid in residence and what you're saying makes sense about it shrinking.

School? glad all continues to go well, I need stories of hope like this.

Hello to Baking and Guppie

Have had a rocky 2 weeks here, been up and down a bit, I think I was on an adrenaline rush at the time of the MC as I got exam results the day after which buoyed me a bit. And then I crashed.

I've had an appt through for 6 June but it's just local gynae clinic for a whole host of bloods I assume. Should I expect anything else? I'm in the frozen north and have seen all your discussions about referrals - is it just London that's any good?

Am going to attempt more sleep now, although given the time, I'm not sure I'll bother...

Just a quick one to say Daisy I am in the north too and my referral was to Liverpool womens hospital where they diagnosed me and they are AMAZING! Get yourself there if you can.

And guppie no I haven't had any side effects from the heparin ( that I know of or have identified anyway!) just a lot of bruises on my legs but that's not too much of a hardship

Daisy yes I have heard Liverpool is great too.

Rang EPU. Nurse said with my bloods (pg was 180/79 depending on what measure you use and HGC 9000+ with a visible sac... both well within the safe zone) and scans a stray ectopic would have been seen - being week 10, also, I would have been symptomatic earlier and they are 'healing pains'. I almost wish they were worse/on both sides equally! You hear people saying "well I felt nothing then collapsed" which scares the heck out of me.

PS. Very depressing having to tell a nurse how far I would have been gone if I hadn't MCed over the phone. :(

Hi everyone!

Sorry I've not been around as much recently. I think I've been trying to gloss over the mc issues and focus on ttc instead as it has taken so long already that if I let myself worry about mc I'll probably lose the plot totally. I'm so fixated on just getting pregnant that to lose it again will be even more horrific I'm sure...anyway trying to take each day at a time really.

Squiz I think that feeling of sadness about where you would be now if things had worked out never really goes away. I hope you start to feel a bit less stressed about the ectopic worries soon. I think the few weeks after a mc are such an emotional rollercoaster anyway, and hormones are usually settling down. I always have crampy feelings now, on and off, and often in one side (where I think I ovulate from). Not sure if its because I get them more these days or I'm just super in-tune with them but try not to worry, cramps are fairly normal. I'm sure most people just don't spend so much time analysing their uterus!!

Guppie sorry you hear you sound so sad. I feel surrounded by babies and happy announcements too, although luckily not family (one thing to be grateful for!!). It will happen for you, its just a case of when, not if...keep telling yourself that. I have also been dithering about whether to see consultant as taking so long to conceive this time. I think for 'normal' people this wait is all fine but when you've had a mc you feel like you have no more time to lose. I hope you get some answers from your GP. At least try to push for a scan which might be able to explain heavy periods. Have you got private insurance as that will probably cover it (as long as they don't know you are ttc)? Also maybe try acupuncture? Sure I'm always banging on about it but I really believe it helps my cycle and nutty hormones.

Hi also to Chandelier/Twenty and Baking and School!!

We need some more success stories on this thread don't we....fingers crossed for everyone x

tea ... yep I get those side pains EVERY TIME I MC. But EVERY TIME I have a freak out. And I know in future, even if I happen to be the worlds most clear-cut "take this and your chances are 70%+" patient ... I will freak out about everything EVERY TIME!! I suffer from medical anxiety. MC is about the worst thing for it!! I am just sick of not having a negative test now (only 3 weeks on, I know it can take this long), I want it properly over.

Squiz that must be so hard for you. The waiting is the worst and the feeling that time is just going by and you are not getting anywhere. Just try and do as much as you can to take your mind off it but I know its hard. I started reflexology and find it very relaxing.

I am also a huge worrier and find it hard to deal with stress. I often say to DH that its annoying that I'm the one who has to deal with rmc as I drive myself potty with the the medical information and get so stressed. Although I am not sure how anyone could go through this and not be affected by it. I got a bit annoyed with a friend the other day who suggested counselling (again). I think I am dealing with things ok and although she thinks she wouldn't get as stressed I'd like to see her try after 18 months of interferility and 2 mc....

Hello everyone. I popped on briefly here under a different name, then got pregnant, so disappeared again as wasn't sure whether it was sensitive to be here. I'd like to come back on now, though. After a rollercoaster of a few weeks with slowly increasing hcg and slow growth of sac, a more-or-less-definite diagnosis of mc, a surprise heartbeat, a rush to start the heparin - I miscarried my baby at 8+3 on Monday night and, as the sac was still in there, had an ERPC yesterday. It's mc no. 5 for me. I had mc (natural) in 2004, dc1 in 2005, mc (incomplete, ERPC) in 2006, mc (blighted ovum, ERPC) in the very next cycle, dc2 in 2007, surprise pregnancy followed by mmc and ERPC in May last year, now yet another mc. After last year's mc I was tested and have Factor V Leiden and MTFHR mutations. I started on aspirin as soon as I got pregnant this time and heparin in week 8. The plan now is to take 5mg folic acid and aspirin continuously and start heparin as soon as I next get a positive test. Am feeling pretty heartbroken today tbh and don't know how to get through this.

Hi everyone! Can't mention you all as I'm on phone so cant go back but hi to tea I was just scrolling through & was thinking where's tea these days then there you were! School- great news things are progressing well for you it's nice to have a success story amongst the group so exciting for you! Hi to twenty/chandelier glad you popped back too :)
Hope everyone else is ok.

So sorry Picardy it's so tough isn't it, especially after seeing a hb :( after having 4 mc I often think about wether it will ever happen or how we are going to get through this again I'm already worrying now about it happening again and we aren't ttc at the moment. We are stronger than we think though and with some good support you will pick yourself up again and find the strength to carry on this journey. Sending my love to you x

Nothing to report here just feeling a bit down at the minute I'm itching to start ttc again but know we can't it's so hard :( I know it's a good thing to be giving my body a rest and I'm having regular accupuncture and need to give it time to do it's thing but it's driving me crazy. The thought of waiting at least another 3 months is horrendous but I have no choice I only hope it's worth the wait eventually. Will be trying to track ov the next week or so I can get progesterone tested and that will be crap getting a smiley & doing nothing about it- sorry for the rant just needed to say how I'm feeling!

Hi everyone.

Picardy I am so sorry you are going through this shit again. It's crap to have a diagnosis and a treatment plan and your hopes raised only to be dashed again.

I am seeing consultant next week, got a print out from the GP of all the results so far and they are all pretty normal. TSH higher than I believe is ideal for pregnancy but within the normal range (consultant said if

Oh Picardy how heartbreaking. Just rubbish for you. At least it sounds like they're hopeful for you in future, upgrading your plan and so on. Not that it's much comfort now when you're in the middle of it. Hugs!

Baking how frustrating! However if nothing bad has shown up there is still hope that you're in that group of women form whom TLC, aspirin and so forth work and "no one knows why" I guess? I have been reading a lot of sciency books and there are a significant number of babies born to recurrent MCers who fall under this category. And you are much, much better off in the aspirin and TLC camp than being in the "C is wrong, there is no treatment, you are very likely to keep MC" category! :) Yeah, but we can all say that intellectually but it doesn't stop the frustration and knicker checking!! Hoping the time fast forwards for you ... ironically it sounds like some mad-busy work or sudden DIY fluster leading to a "where DOES ALL the time go?" moment would be ideal for you hehehe!! KEEPING EVERYTHING CROSSED!!

On boob pain watch... it's back with a vengeance as is my back pain and afterpains. Either the HCG is dropping away and I'm getting ready to OV or I've had an immaculate conception (TMI, I am ultra cautious about no BD before the first period after a MC). Ha! I will POAS this weekend if there's STILL a pink line I'm off to the Docs for a scan to check there's no bits left from the ERPC (I wouldn't think there were though, based on lack of bleeding etc').