Ectopic pregnancy support thread

[tasmaniandevilchaser]

Hi everyone, this is a place for anyone who's had an ectopic pregnancy - whether you want to moan, cry, fret or just have a chat with other people who understand. I know there's lots of other good websites on ectopic pregnancies but after hijackingchatting with sunshine on another thread, I thought I'd start one here.

Well I'll get the ball rolling with my story - after a MMC in November (found out at the 12 wk scan that the baby had died at 10 wks) I was just getting myself sorted, having counselling, when I had the ectopic. I know I am lucky in that I have a lovely DD. Having had a normal pregnancy, I knew from the beginning this one was not good and as soon as I got a BFP I was down at the hospital.

After 10 days of mental torture, waiting around, scans, rescans, blood tests, it got too late for the methotrexate (they finally saw the ectopic in a scan on a Friday early evening and the methotrexate wasn't in stock )

I finally had the surgery to remove one tube on the Tuesday. This was the end of February, at first I wasn't sure how I would cope, but I am just plodding on. I know I am lucky that it didn't rupture, but honestly I can't think of having an ectopic as being lucky. Especially after a MMC .

Anyway, come join me if you want to share your story, I have , and

---------------------

Hi there - this thread is a little old. If you'd like to know more about ectopic pregnancies, we've got more information here. MNHQ

[Countmyblessings]

Hi ilove & tired!
Tired I really hope you get some positive good news and all will be well!
Yeh I can slightly hear the clock but am trying to not focus on that many women have perfectly healthy pregnancies and baby passed the 40 line!
All crossed we will be pregnant long B 4 that!
I'm off work for a month, saw a female gp yesterday and I felt she had no clue in how to talk discuss and deal with my mild breakdown as she asked me to tell her what happened! Although the hospital wrote her and she has access to all medical history!!!!'
I was so upset after leaving felt much worse then better!
Will have to go back after the month to see if I'm up to going to work!
Trust me I could be off for much longer, spending time with ds2 is much needed medicine!

I actually went back on my old thread to see that some others have also lost! So very upsetting! To see the update after they talk about pains and bleeding! Strange I had none of that! And felt I just wanted a confirm from a scan before adding my details to the list! It never happened!
4 RL all expecting right now! Happy for them but sad that I have no more sore boobs no more constant peeing, no excuse to eat more!
They are over there talking about how times dragging and sickness!
Ohhhh I want that all back!!!!
Looked also on my old jan 10 thread! Seems like a lifetime ago!

[tasmaniandevilchaser]

count that's rubbish you had to explain yourself to your GP and go over it all again. That's so hard. You're meant to come out feeling better. I had a great GP over my rubbish MMC and EP time. I cried when I heard she'd left! That's lovely your DS2 is good medicine. I appreciate my DD so much now, I mean I always did, but I just think about it more now.

I also think about pg symptoms and how ungrateful I was for them all with DD. I'd love to have them now! I'm in the 2ww and I'm stressed - every twinge between my knees and my armpits and I'm convinced it's another ectopic. I know, I'm an idiot!

[iloveberries]

you're not an idiot. it's more than understandable tas!! Keep my fingers crossed for you :)

[Countmyblessings]

Also agree with ilove it's totally understandable why you would be fretted!
When I found out I was so scared to go gp and just wanted to hold on to my I'm pregnant joy!!! Got loads of nudges from my other thread buddies to go, glad I did but now thinking if only I did it sooner may of avoided the removal of my tube!!!!! And just thinking why didn't I get checked sooner! Why did I leave it so long! If I could rewind time!
Ilove was on our other thread and was reading from when I posted my BFP had a few all at the same time! Was crying as my happiness turned into sadness within a few pages!!!!!

[iloveberries]

and you know what count - we'll be on another pregnancy thread in a few months and we'll both take babies home this time. I know it.

[joby21]

I have debated posting this as i know how hearing this news can make you feel but i wanted to give you allsome hope!

I had a bfp a few weeks ago. I have had an early scan and am now 9 weeks pregnant! This is after having my first ever pregnancy in december which ended up being the ectopic. Interestingly i ovulated from the side that my tube was removed, if that sentance makes sense!!!

So there is hope for you all! Will be keeping everything crossed for you all in the horrid 2ww.

tas I know this fetus has made it to the right place and i'm still analysing every single niggle!

[tasmaniandevilchaser]

joby that's really great news! I had noticed you weren't around and I'm so pleased that it's because of lovely events. It does give me hope.

[tiredandiwanttogotobed]

Sorry for being a bit thick Tas but what does 2ww mean? Are you PG? If so, congratulations!

Joby I'm really pleased to hear your happy news, congratulations!

Keeping everything crossed for you both, I completely understand your concerns though x

[Countmyblessings]

Joby- I also would like to say thank you for your post!
It is lovely to hear a happy post regarding someone who has also dealt with an ectopic, and it was not so long ago which will def fill the TTC ones some great hope! I have spoken to DH and he understand how I have been feeling since the tragic news! It was lovely and feel so much better and he totally supports how I want to handle our next step although he wants me to rest( I thought I had for the last year)
Tired - 2ww means 2 weeks wait!!! As to see if you have done enough to get BFP! Fingers crossed!

[iloveberries]

joby - another one here who is delighted you posted that!! Congratulations, I am so pleased for you and v.interesting to know you ovulated on your tubeless side, god our bodies are amazing aren't they.

I am having a really low day so your story has given me hope. Thanks so much for sharing the good news :)

[joby21]

Thank you for the congrats! It is all quite scarey at the mo! There is obviously still ages to go so trying not to get too over excited!

tas i have been loitering and still reading but was struggling with what to say!

count am i really pleased that you've chatted with your DH and are feeling supported. One good thing that's come out of all this ectopic thing is that i am now much more open about feelings etc. My best mate (who i've known 25 years!) commented that she has never heard me talk about feelings so much!

berries the sonographer was a bit confused when i told her about it being the tubeless side! The docs had told me that it could happen, but guess i kinda didn't believe them! But it is pretty amazing!

[tasmaniandevilchaser]

hi all, how are you?

tired no not pg, though AF should have arrived, maybe it will come tomorrow. I don't have any of the symptoms of my EP (weird bleeding just before AF due) so I'm feeling much more relaxed now.

Had a friend to stay this w/e, she's been through a tough few years, so it makes me appreciate the good things in my life. I think I'm starting to accept my EP a bit more now. I don't feel so bitter or "why meeee?" about it so much.

[iloveberries]

Hi tas - My 2nd AF since EP arrived today so I am officially TTC again after AF goes. It feels good to be able to try again but i'm also not really up for the crushing disappointment of it not 'working' again.... Keeping joby's story as inspiration!

This weekend hasn't been great, i've felt very very down about the EP which has been rubbish. I don't have anyone to talk to in RL as DH and DMum just say "it will be your turn soon" and none of my friends really ask about it now. I guess 2 months is a long time for them. I am just focusing on DS to keep me smiling.

tas - could you be pg perhaps?

I know what you mean about being grateful for what you have. I am of course but I just can't get over the crushing feeling of the EP. I think I will feel like this till I have a successful pregnancy.

[tasmaniandevilchaser]

berries hope you're feeling better today, I find work takes my mind off it all. I know exactly what you mean, I feel crushed by the horrible experience of the EP sometimes. I've had quite a good w/e, so it does come and go. I expect I'll feel the same until I'm pg again and I KNOW it's in the right place. (Then just a MMC to fret about!!)

I don't think I'm pg, did a test this am, definitely negative. I occasionally do have crazy long cycles, where maybe I don't ovulate, but I did think I'd ovulated this time (my temps are high)

I think it's worth knowing when you ovulate, as it removes some of the stress around waiting around for AF.

[iloveberries]

Yeah - I am lucky in that I have regular cycles and I was using a clearblue fertility monitor last time so I knew things were 'working'. I will use the monitor for this cycle as well just to check things are looking ok and then i'm not going to pee on anything till I am at least 2 days late next time round. I knew I would get my period today as I couldn't stop crying yesterday! Combination of hormones and just feeling shit.

I do feel a bit better today thanks, had a good day with DS. I agree work takes your mind off things. I am leaving my job soon though so will have to find other means of keeping busy!! NOT googling "how to get pregnant after ectopic" or other such things!!

You are so right that it comes and goes, maybe that's why friends/family don't ask much as once i've said "i'm starting to feel better" they assume it's a continuous improvement whereas in reality it's very up and down isn't it!

Onwards with TTC then!

[tiredandiwanttogotobed]

Joby how are you feeling? Hope everything's going well?

I'm not PG this month, told DH and he very annoyingly said "Good, at least DS is not at risk of loosing his mummy to another EP" I'm sure it's 'cos DH is just scared about me having another EP but no one know's what's going to happen in the future. People die in car accidents, I'm not going to stop driving FFS!

Generally I'm getting my head round the whole EP thing, I do still feel a bit bitter about the MC's though.

There are a lot of folk worse off than me; a good friend has no kids and is unlikely to ever have them and another friend is waiting to find out if they have cancer. So I'm actually in a fortunate place. We're still TTC but I'm less optimistic now, I'm certainly not obsessing about it like before, although I'm lucky 'cos periods are regular and I feel ovulation. I'm making plans for a baby-free future which at the moment, I think I'm ok with... ...at the moment!

Here's to TTC

[iloveberries]

Hi tired, I'm sure you're right that it is just DH being scared about another EP. You have been through a lot with the m/c only a month ago as well and he is probably finding it hard as you are. Just that men are not as good at dealing with finding things hard (IMO!)

I have been down your "there are a lot of people worse off than me" and also the "everyone has problems, mine is getting a 2nd baby". Thank god we both have our DSs though.

I hope this doesn't come across badly but I wouldn't lose heart with a 2nd DC just yet. You're only 39 and i know the last 3 pregnancies haven't ended well but you know you can fall pregnant. As you say just carry on with the relaxed TTC and hopefully it will happen soon.

BUT - in the meantime just focus on all the other great things in your life so babymaking doesn't take a disproportionate place in your life. I think actually that is advice to me as when we were TTC before EP ALL i could think about was another baby and now having had some time out of TTC I feel much more relaxed about it. Que sera sera and all that.

I hope your friend's potential cancer situation turns out to be something else.

Positive thoughts to you all :)

[joby21]

Hey. All's good here. Had a minor panic when i had some spotting and pain but had scan and all is still ok. Getting a bit fed of the constant sicky feeling but trying to think of it as a positive!!

Sorry to hear that you are all still a wee bit all over the place. I can promise it does get better. I don't think any of my friends were really asking how i was after 2 mobths, mind you despite telling all and sundry at work, a lot of my friends don't actually know about the ep!

tired it def sounds like yoyr OH is scared. At least next pregnancy you'll get an early scan and be aware of what to look out for symptom wise. i.e i.now know what shoulder tip pain is, so theoretically it should never get to an emergency situation again. Does that make sense? Just quickly typing as need to get ready for my night shift!

[tasmaniandevilchaser]

hi joby glad to hear all is well after your scare.

Had a shit day today, ended up taking minutes in a meeting where everyone is announcing their pregnancies and mat leave. Including one that is due when I was. Having to type it all out while trying not to cry. Not good.

AF still hasn't arrived, think I'm on day 42. My fertility feels like it's gone down the pan, I'm probably going through the menopause. I'm feeling rubbish, though it's probably PMT and tiredness. Sorry for the moaning!

[iloveberries]

Jeez tas that is shit. really shit. poor you having to go through that meeting. It totally sucks doesn't it. I do find with people I don't know so well I try and temper the envy of their pregnancy with the fact I don't know what they had to go through to fall pregnant. It's harder with my friends as I know they all fell within 1-3 months and none of them have gone through losing a pregnancy. It's great for them but hard as i feel none of them understand.

Tas - have you had an AF since the EP or waiting for your first? Apparently the first one can take up to 10 weeks so don't lose heart yet!

I am feeling ridiculously postive - too positive i think about falling pregnant again. I feel like I know it will happen in the right place next time and that i will get to take home my baby. probably setting myself up for a fall but hey ho!.

joby - glad all is going well. You are my inspriration!!!!

[Countmyblessings]

It's all gone quiet on here? Enjoying the sun having fun, anyone????
( shouts to hear spooky echo) HeLLO!!!!!!

[iloveberries]

I'm still here!!!

[tiredandiwanttogotobed]

Tas you poor thing, it's a shit situation to be in, but perhaps the nearly crying bit means it's nearly that time of the month? I'm goning to show my dense side again. What does AF stand for? I've just been scowling a a friend's FB status who was moaning about her PG symptoms, I had to refrain from writing a grumpy "think yourself bloody lucky" type of comment

Joby how are you getting on? We're all hoping some of your luck will rub off :)

berries I admire you positivity, it really does cheer me up x

Count still here, been enjoying the sun at the beach :)

Anyway, got my appointment on Wednesday with the early pregnancy specialist. I'm not quite sure how I feel about it; whether to be excited or dreading it. I've sort of decided that if she says "you've got no chance, forget it" that yep we'll stop trying, but if there's an easy treatment we'll give it another go. Watch this space!

Btw, my friend has been diagnosed with cancer which can't be operated on, so I could be in a worse position (trying desperately to be positive here!).

[joby21]

tas sorry you're having a rubbish time. Hope things are looking sunnier for you.

berries i don't think i've been an inspiration before! Thank you!!

tired sending luck everybodies way! Hope it goes ok for you on wednesday.

I'm still ok. Am now 11 weeks! Had thought the nausea was passing but it seems to be back with a vengence!

Hope everyone is enjoying the sun xx

[iloveberries]

joby - nausea is GOOOOOOD!! well, i hear that MS means the pregnancy is going well! With DS i had lots of it and with the EP none so just think of it that way?? (ok, i know it's hard to find the positive in feeling vomous all day long!) 11 weeks is good, i'm really excited for you. well done!

tired, shit, sorry about your friend. that is awful. I hope you're as ok as can be expected insuch an awful situation.
AF stands for Aunt Flo (i think) AKA period. One of the more queezy acronymns in MN! Yeah, I hate the pregnancy FB statuses too. I think it's done out of ignorance more than anything else though. When I fell with DS very easily I was forever asking people with one "time for another then?" and i could kick myself for it now.... oh well. So what's the appt for? to talk about what could be preventing a successful pregnancy? I hope it all goes well.

AF has left the berrries household now and gearing up to ov in a week or so i think. First attempt at getting pg since EP and feeling very positive and excited (and in the back of my mind in a dark place very scared and negative) so just trying to be kind to my body and mind and focus on the good. Why shouldn't it happen right? I know, I know, one tube blah blah blah. well fuck that i'm going to show them who's boss of my one remaining tube!