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Original poster

Ectopic pregnancy support thread

913 replies

tasmaniandevilchaser · 18/03/2012 18:15

Hi everyone, this is a place for anyone who's had an ectopic pregnancy - whether you want to moan, cry, fret or just have a chat with other people who understand. I know there's lots of other good websites on ectopic pregnancies but after hijackingchatting with sunshine on another thread, I thought I'd start one here.

Well I'll get the ball rolling with my story - after a MMC in November (found out at the 12 wk scan that the baby had died at 10 wks) I was just getting myself sorted, having counselling, when I had the ectopic. I know I am lucky in that I have a lovely DD. Having had a normal pregnancy, I knew from the beginning this one was not good and as soon as I got a BFP I was down at the hospital.

After 10 days of mental torture, waiting around, scans, rescans, blood tests, it got too late for the methotrexate (they finally saw the ectopic in a scan on a Friday early evening and the methotrexate wasn't in stock Hmm)

I finally had the surgery to remove one tube on the Tuesday. This was the end of February, at first I wasn't sure how I would cope, but I am just plodding on. I know I am lucky that it didn't rupture, but honestly I can't think of having an ectopic as being lucky. Especially after a MMC Sad.

Anyway, come join me if you want to share your story, I have Wine, Brew and Thanks

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Hi there - this thread is a little old. If you'd like to know more about ectopic pregnancies, we've got more information here. MNHQ

OP posts:
iloveberries · 26/08/2012 08:50

tas that is WONDERFUL news! Congratulations to you!

Amazing what a few days can do isn't it! I had a weird online inkling that it might be you this month ESP as you'd no idea when af was due. Did you just find out this morning? off to the docs for you on Monday then? I think they can monitor hcg levels so you don't have to wait till 6 weeks for a scan. I am really really pleased for you. Of course I understand you're worried and life was soooo much simpler before ep but as you say for today it's ok and I am sure you will be taking home a lovely baby in 8 months time xxxxxx

P.s. yes it does give me hope..... I've given up saying 'my turn next' though!

iloveberries · 26/08/2012 08:51

Ps I used preseed last cycle and will be using again - I only use half the recommended amount though - you?

loopybear · 26/08/2012 09:02

Tas so pleased for you x enjoy the bfp and remember there is a greater chance of full term pregnancy than another EP.

Makinghay let people take of you and allow the feelings to flow so I can heal both physically and emotionally.

Big hugs to both of you x

Countmyblessings · 26/08/2012 17:08

Sorry for the lack of name checks my brain is rubbish at the moment!
Congrats to Tas - trust me I know how you feel getting a BFP not sure how it works where you live but get yourself to the EPU and because of your history they should do blood test every 48 hrs till it reaches a good number sorry not sure what it is then they can scan you waiting is not an option - fingers and toes crossed you will be poping in on our thread soon.
Ilove - I'm keeping the hope alive that you will be joining us soon also as we started this journey together it would be lovely to share our testimony of BFP after ectopics!!!!! It's so good and gives others hope!!
Everyone else recovery don't rush yourself your body has gone through such a huge change! But it gets easier!!!!
Hand holding all the way xxxx

MakeHayNotStraw · 26/08/2012 22:47

tas huge and gentle congratulations! Lovely news...

rechelle · 26/08/2012 23:01

Hi all
I am so pleased to have found this thread. I found out I was pregnant at 4 wks and we were so excited, at 7 wks I had an early scan because I had been having strong cramping for 2 wks. Was relieved when the sonographer said that my pregnancy was in my womb and my tubes and ovaries were clear so they could see no worrying reason for the cramps and concluded it was normal early pregnancy pains. They said to come back in 2 weeks to check all is progressing as it should. The day before my second scan I went to A&E because I was having severe pain and spotting, was told I was probably having a miscarriage and there was nothing they could do. They were going to send me home and I was to return in the morning for my scheduled scan to confirm. It was only admitted because I went to use the toilet before leaving and nearly passed out on my way back and luckily 2 passing nurses caught me as I was going down. After that I had a scan and was taken to theater within an hour. The surgeon told me that I had an ectopic pregnancy which had ruptured, I lost 2 liters of blood and my tube.

rechelle · 26/08/2012 23:10

sorry wanted to say that it is nice to be able to relate to you ladies, EP's can be very traumatic and untill you have first hand experience you cannot imagine how difficult it can be. Like many others I feel guilty as I find myself almost wishing it has 'just' been a miscarriage.
My hubby has been great and really supportive, I would love another child but wonder if I should just be content with the 2 DD's I have been blessed with.

loopybear · 27/08/2012 07:26

Hi rechelle. I do remember with mine wishing they had been MC. I stopped feeling bad for thinking it. For me my MC was mother natures way. EP is traumatic there are sometimes no explanations to the cause and they either result in emergency surgury or a chemo injections which in themselves are physically traumatic, as well as the distress of loosing your baby.

Allow others to take care of you, allow yourself time to grieve and all of your feelings are ok to have.

Northey · 27/08/2012 07:45

Sorry for appearance then absence for a while. I have been spending a bit of time carefully not thinking about things too much.

Tas, amazing news! Congratulations! How long had you been trying this time?

Someone asked about sex. I did it about four days after the op, incredibly gently. I felt very much like it was the only thing that would comfort me that night. We didn't use contraception either Blush Is that incredibly stupid? If so, what exactly is the risk? There was no pain to my scar. Is it a risk of internal damage? Or of possible pregnancy causing internal damage?

Apple, I had a long cut, rather than keyhole, and I've got a horrid lumpy bit at one end. I'm hoping it will go down with time, preferably soon.... The consultant advised me to stroke the area with lavender essential oil to reduce inflammation and scarring, but I'm too much of a wuss to look at it properly, let alone touch it yet. I might try to be brave about that today.

Northey · 27/08/2012 07:47

Also, this morning's pregnancy test was still positive, 10 days after the op. how long did it take other people to get a negative?

MakeHayNotStraw · 27/08/2012 08:49

hi rechelle - just wanted to say I totally empathise with the wishing it had been a mc feeling - I won't say exactly why I feel that because I don't want to upset anyone, but i really really wish it had just been a mc. Sounds like you had an horriffic time of it, I hope you are recovering ok.

MakeHayNotStraw · 27/08/2012 08:52

northey extra virgin coconut oil is something I'm going to try on my scars when they have healed a bit, something else that supposedly softens them. Early days, I know, but the one on my left side is massively raised, almost like they sewed it together underneath the cut, iyswim! I hope it goes down....

Northey · 27/08/2012 09:39

Oh yes, rechelle, I totally empathise with the wishing it had been a miscarriage thing too. At least then I'd have two intact and functioning tubes, rather than just one recently hacked about one.

Northey · 27/08/2012 09:40

makehay, that scar sounds awful, though I'm sure it will go down soon. Have you got them uncovered yet?

iloveberries · 27/08/2012 11:13

Hi northey - they advise you to wait 3 months after tube removal (longer with metho). This is because your body needs to recover and the have been studies linked conception straight after ep to another ep. Metho is a strong drug and it needs to be out of your system before ttc as it can cause problems with baby's development.

But - lots of women get pregnant before the 3 months and are fine.

I WISH my ep had been a miscarriage. I don't feel guilty about thinking or saying that. Both are traumatic but with a mc your odds aren't reduced next time and you don't nearly die. In fact I get pretty fucked off when people tell me 'lots of women lose babies, you'll have another one'. IT'S NOT THE SAME.

rechelle - so sorry you've gone through this too. Hope your dh and Dds are bringing you some comfort xxxx

Northey · 27/08/2012 11:19

They did a salpingostomy rather than remove the tube (because it was my only one), but I guess that probably makes it worse, as it will be all inflamed while healing. I have just been ttc so long I can't bear to stop :(

iloveberries · 27/08/2012 11:29

I know that feeling northey and there are a couple of ladies on here who got pg very quickly after ep. I had loads of fertile ewcm the month after ep.

It's just one of those choices you have to make....

It's hard. How are you feeling today?

Northey · 27/08/2012 11:38

All right, thanks, berries. Tired and heavy-hearted, which just seems to be how it goes at the moment.

I do know that sex was a bit of a stupid idea. I do. It's just hard to act on it. I am meant to have (another, pointless) HSG in 8 weeks, and I know I mustn't be pregnant for that. Just a tiny part of me thinks that maybe there could be a miracle between now and then...

Original poster
tasmaniandevilchaser · 27/08/2012 18:03

hi all,

northey good to see you back, hope you are healing well. As soon as I read what you said about not wanting to look at the scars, I thought, yes! I remember feeling like that, I just couldn't look at my tummy at all for a few weeks. It was just too much. I've heard bio oil is good on scars. I know what you mean about not wanting to stop TTC, but I think that poor old tube needs a rest.

I was trying for 5 cycles this time, I think I needed that time. I'm still not holding out much hope it will work out, but there's not much I can do about it.

hi rechelle so sorry you've this awful experience. I can totally empathise with wishing I'd had a mc. I've had both and although the MMC was horrific, such a terrible shock, at least it didn't compromise my fertility. There is a small comfort in mc being "nature's way" but ectopic is just nasty, like your body has turned against you. My surgeon did say something helpful, he described the fertilised egg as just being programmed to implant wherever it fell, it helped me to not take it so personally, like it was just doing the only job it could do.

It's quite worrying they didn't diagnose the EP at the first scan, what did they say about that? Though I imagine you're concentrating on getting well again, it's hard to take in info when you've been through a traumatic experience. Hope you're resting up and having someone look after you.

OP posts:
iloveberries · 27/08/2012 20:31

tas - i can understand why you're worried but try to think positive. Your dd predicted it after all Wink

5 cycles is GREAT - it does give me hope. I have been ttc for 3 since EP and after my hols i am going to sign up to duofertility i think..... Just want to know i am doing everything i can and me and DH cant go banging away like this for much longer!!!

Hugs to everyone else. I know you'll probably want to give me an online smack for saying it but time is a great healer. The pain hasn't gone and still makes me cry frequently and every time AF comes it is awful... but it does get easier to deal with....

Original poster
tasmaniandevilchaser · 27/08/2012 21:12

hi berries DD predicted I was pg with the EP. She said "you got a baby coming in your tummy". It was seriously weird, especially as I'd had literally 10 mins before been thinking I was pg. She wasn't even 3 at the time.

I do feel much better about this pg than the EP. With the EP I knew I was pg and something was wrong before I even POAS. With this one, I don't feel the same. I don't have any scary EP symptoms yet and I'm just hoping for the best. I can't quite believe it's going to work out yet, I'm just trying to stay as calm as I can.

Grin at "banging away". DH used to say he felt like he was being milked!!!

OP posts:
iloveberries · 27/08/2012 21:37

Lol to being milked!!

Baby making sex is a bit....hard work isn't it. I'm really going to try and spice it up thismmonth especially as we're on hols!

PuffPants · 28/08/2012 15:30

Northey - just wanted to say that I had a hospital apt at 16 days post-op and I tested positive. Didn't do any tests at home but when I went back two weeks after that it was negative. It's normal to show positive for a few weeks apparently. Bit weird though isn't it?

Northey · 28/08/2012 16:12

Thanks puffpants. I just can't believe it takes so long!

tiredandiwanttogotobed · 29/08/2012 18:22

Hello, hope people don't mind me lurking still!

Tas that's absolutely fab news, sooooo pleased for you Grin. How many weeks? Make sure you get yourself to the EPU for that early scan.

I had to wait 6 cycles, I think. I think it took about that long to get my head in the right place to relax and not worry.

I'm 11/12 weeks now, just (nervously) waiting for the 12 week scan now...

Sending out a virtual hug to everyone else here (sorry, nights last night and too tired to concentrate for name checks) xx