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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

Original poster

climb aboard this bus called i was on "dec 11, jan 12, feb 12" etc- hear me now!!

402 replies

Mama5isalive · 18/07/2011 23:43

I thought i would just start this thread for all of us who have sadly lost our seats on our previous buses, but still want to talk and share and move on in all different areas!

Please swipe your cards, pay your fare and share!!!!!!!!Wink
all are welcome to the journey ending in "moving on street", "TTC avenue" or "let just wait and see walk "or ", "Its finally happened for me junction"

OP posts:
tumblebug · 28/04/2012 11:52

Hi! Just had some really sad news about someone I know who has just lost her little twins at 18 weeks, and it made me think of you all and all the support I had here, so popped back to see how you all are - so lovely to see so much good news.

Count congratulations! So happy for you, really hope all works out (no reason it shouldn't!), keep us informed!

Puzzletree and Catsy glad all is going well, so exciting that you're going to meet your babies soon!

I'm nearly 24 weeks (seems like a big milestone somehow), all going well, big bump - strangers asking when I'm due, August still sounds like such a long way away though. Feeling much happier now I can feel the baby moving (much more wriggly than DS).

Catsycat · 29/04/2012 09:38

Hi tumble. Lovely to hear from you, though sorry to hear about your friend's twins - very sad.

I'm glad all is going well with the baby. This baby also seems rather more, well, violent than her sisters! DH was laughing at the movement in my bump yesterday, and putting his hand on it, at which DD1 said "I want a go!" - rather like being one of her toys really! I've got 3 weeks to go now, and can't believe how far in the future May once seemed - my to do list is huge!!! I'm sure August will be here really soon!

puzzletree · 30/04/2012 20:35

Oh tumble that's so sad about your friend :(
Glad all is going well with your pregnancy. Took me a while to feel movements this time too due to an anterior placenta. He's making up for it now though! It's such an amazing feeling to have a whole new person growing in there, feel very lucky. Hope everyone else who has suffered a mc gets another chance too....

Countmyblessings · 02/05/2012 22:24

Hi all - I'm off yet another bus!!!!!went on Monday for a routine scan due to my history to be told I have a pregnancie in a unknown location!
Prepped for surgery had to remove 7 week baby and my tube!
In total shock!!!!!! At home recovering!!!!
Seems just rotten that this happened on the 30th April the day I got my positive last year for the other baby I lost at 12 weeks!
3 losses now! The odds don't look great but I'm holding onto hope for a another try real soon! All my love and prayers to a baby filled future for us all xxxx

Moominsarescary · 02/05/2012 22:38

I'm so sorry count, xx

puzzletree · 02/05/2012 23:36

Oh no Count, so so sad to hear this :( Hope you recover from the op quickly, I'm sure the emotional healing will take time, be good to yourself.... xxx

Catsycat · 03/05/2012 14:00

Oh Count, how awful for you. I'm so sorry. Please take care of yourself, and let DH and the DCs look after you. xxx

tumblebug · 03/05/2012 22:34

Count so sorry to hear that, it seems so unfair. Hope you're getting lots of love and support at home.

Countmyblessings · 10/05/2012 22:52

Thank you - dealing and healing 1 day at a time!
been here before and it hurts so much more!
Crying at pamper, clearblue adverts!!! I feel so fragile hurting, it's a shame after the op they didn't remove my emotions too!

Catsycat · 11/05/2012 20:29

Sending you a hug, count, have been thinking of you.

Countmyblessings · 13/05/2012 20:10

It's really hard, some of you got pregnant earlier on in this thread and I can't imagine how hard it has been second guessing every pain!
Just as I thought it was my time to be happy again!
It's been taken away! Feeling down today!
Hope tomorrow's better!

zoeymlucas · 16/05/2012 20:26

I lost my seat on the Xmas day bus last week and am so glad I have found this site to talk to people and share my feelings

Catsycat · 16/05/2012 20:43

Hi zoey. Sorry you have experienced this loss, but I hope we can help. I know it was the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with when I had a mc last year. I hope you're getting RL support too, and taking the time you need to start working through your grief. Come back and talk if you would like to.

zoeymlucas · 17/05/2012 10:50

i dont think I am actually dealing with it yet I was at work the next day and am just trying to keep going as I feel as soon as I stop it will really hit me. My hubby is trying bless him but cant seem to say the right thing he just thinks we start trying again and as much as I really want to part of me feels that trying to replace it which isnt the right way to do things

Catsycat · 17/05/2012 17:31

You have to do what is right for you - it's different for everyone. I get what you're saying about stopping, and then it hitting you, but be careful not to exhaust yourself. I think it will hit you at some point whatever you do... you probably know that though. Your DH sounds like he wants to be there for you, maybe he would like to talk about it too?

I got pg again quite quickly, and part of me did wonder if it was some sort of betrayal of the baby we lost. But the fact remained that I got pg because I wanted another baby, and that desire hadn't changed. The baby we lost has it's own nickname, we planted a plant for it in the garden which flowers when the baby would have been born, I have a charm bracelet with charms on it for each of my 2 children so we bought one to remember the baby by too, I have a folder of all the things (paperwork, scans, etc) from that pregnancy, and we still talk about the baby. So I feel as though we commemorated the baby in some way, and that it had it's own identity, and that did/does help me. I am having an ELCS on monday, and I know when I meet my new DD, that I have the baby I lost to thank for the opportunity to meet her.

I don't really know if any of this rambling helps, and I'm really sorry if it doesn't, but I guess I'm just trying to explain how it was for me. It's very early for you still - in no way am I saying you should be moving on or getting pg again yet, or that what worked for me is the right way for anyone else. I was very emotional and wobbly for a good while after the mc - it was the first and last thing I thought about every day for a good while, and I do still think of it a lot.

I hope things get easier for you soon. Take care x

Countmyblessings · 18/05/2012 02:48

Ohhhhh Zoey- I am so sorry that you have lost your place on the December thread, I was also on the same on and because of my history didn't want to add my details to the list until confirmed!
It was another ectopic and now I'm recovering from surgery and trying to deal with the main fact that I have list yet another child I so badly wanted!!!
Please come here- rant, asked questions, share feelings as much or as little as you want! That why we r here!!
Ohhhh Catsy- I'm so excited for you!!! Keep here updated!

wifey6 · 18/05/2012 07:38

Hello everyone....not sure if this is the right place...feeling very lost after MMC 3.5 weeks ago. Sad I guess I'm just looking for some kind MNetters to point me in the right direction please.

Catsycat · 18/05/2012 11:43

Hi wifey. I'm very sorry for your loss. If you want to talk about how you're feeling, or what happened, then we'll be happy to listen and help if we can.

wifey6 · 18/05/2012 12:26

Thank you catsycat...if no-one minds I think I will off load a little please
Went for a routine 12 week scan to be told out baby had stopped growing at 7.4 weeks..no heartbeat...no indication there was anything wrong. Such a shock. Booked for the op on the Thursday..but on the Tuesday nature took its course & my baby became an angel. Now laid to rest. I feel I am lost in this whole situation. Having to be strong for my DS- 22 months & my husband when the whole time I am breaking inside. Sad
I am so sorry for everyone's losses on this page..it's so incredibly cruel. Sad Sad

Catsycat · 18/05/2012 13:58

wifey, what a horrible shock that must have been. I also found out about my mmc at a scan, and I remember how awful I found it.

Have you talked to anyone in RL about it? What about DH or friends?

I found it helped to talk (and I soon found out lots of my mum friends had been through similar experiences, and were ready to offer support). I really leaned on DH, and my 2 DDs did see me cry on a few occasions (they weren't overly worried by this tbh, I told them I just felt unwell, but would be OK soon). I'm certainly not qualified to advise you, but I wouldn't worry about staying strong if it means you are bottling your feelings up. I know there is an element of having to get on with certain things each day, but other than that I tried to take things easy, and work through what I was feeling one day at a time, and letting those emotions out was part of that. Even writing things down (on MN, and personal writing too) helped let things out and process them a bit. I don't know if this makes sense - as I said in an earlier post, everyone is different, and what I found helpful may well not be for you.

Hope you will come back to talk if you would like to, and I do hope things become easier for you in time.

wifey6 · 18/05/2012 14:04

Thank you so much...I feel safe on MN...surrounded by the kindness. So sorry for your loss. Sad My mum & two best friends have been incredible. DH doesn't talk about things...bottles everything up so my grieving is done in private or on MN. Sad

Countmyblessings · 18/05/2012 21:26

Wifey- I am so sorry for your recent loss as Catsy said feel free to share and off load as much as you need! I totally understand how awful it is to go for a scan and too be told bad and awful news!
It's happened twice once at my 12 week scan last year June and more recently April I went along for a confirm scan to be told it was yet another ectopic and I needed surgery!!!! I have cried alone on my hubby shoulder on my close friends and with every tear I feel so much better not totally healed but when I talk about it I don't cry!!!!! Not strong just coping, we as women are so strong we just don't think so!
Share those feelings I also wrote it down looking back I'm do glad I did as I'm not where I was but I still have more to come!
I also ordered a book on line that helped!!!! My faith also helps me heal!
Praying for us all xxxx

Countmyblessings · 18/05/2012 21:26

I'm " so" glad!

wifey6 · 18/05/2012 21:45

count...I think I might have seen your thread...so sorry for your losses....hope you are recovering well after surgery.
I have my beliefs..which are keeping me a bit more in control of things...
I wish I could remember who said it..but someone posted on a thread that you must except a part of you will always be sad...I truly believe that...so have stopped fighting it. Sad

Catsycat · 19/05/2012 10:45

wifey, ime that's true - the sadness of the experience becomes part of who you are, and I think it will always be there. What has happened for me is that other feelings gradually came to the forefront, until I felt pretty much normal again most of the time, and the sadness has gone into the background. It's still there, but not consuming me all the time. Sometimes events can make it come back again, quite painfully, but not for as long or as sharply as the original feelings. It's hard to explain, but hope you can see what I mean. My loss was at the end of June last year, and it did take a long time to feel better. I hope with time, that the biggest part of you won't be sad any more. There was a time I didn't believe that would be true for me. I think you're right not to fight it - that makes you very brave imo. Thinking of you x