Recurrent Buns - Miscarriage Testing and Beyond! Part three..!

[Julezboo]

Not so imaginative as lunatic !

Part One HERE

Part Two HERE

There are a mixture of Pg ladies, new BFP's (YAY) and new ladies who have sadly had to join us and are going through testing. Lots of OMW's and hand holding here!

Sit down, grab a cushion and a hot choc and get comfortable.

[ALovelyBunchOfBaubles]

it is mental torture. The whole process from start to finish, whatever the finish point is, is very painful.

Before this year had you tried to get pregnant?

I have had two miscarriages and also a successfull one and also a suspected heliotropic (actually a cyst that apparently had a heartbeat ) so I do know how you feel although there isn't much I can say to make you feel any better. Do you think there is a specific problem?

The system is cruel specifying that you have to have three mcs before testing.

You have every right to feel the way you do though. It is still so soon after your mc and you are bound to feel upset and low.

I hope you find some answers soon, in the meantime stay on here, the support here is fantastic :)

Big hug, Bunchy xx

[hairyfairylights]

No I'd never tried before and never fallen pregnnant accidentally either sonthought perhaps I couldn't! But twice in six months is good going at my age. Have just passed one yr off the pill now.

[justmee]

Brokenbits
He said to me we will start you on injection which you will take up untill 32 weeks of pregnancy and i wud start it from 4-5 weeks as soon as i find out im pregnant(if ı do) he said...and he said tht it will be stronger than progrestron im search,ng the internet but cant find it :S now im wondering what an earth hes on about ??
Thanks for replying ):):): x

[ALovelyBunchOfBaubles]

Twice in 6 months is very good for anyone regardless of age. It has been that long since my last period!

[hairyfairylights]

Thanks baubles I hope both our luck changes fir the better soon.

[hairyfairylights]

broken I think heparin is an injected treatment for Hughes syndrome (sticky blood)

[hairyfairylights]

Sorry that was meant fir justme

[digitalgirl]

Hello. Still lurking just not much to say.

Was really dreading meeting up with Nct friends today. One of whom's pregnant. But it was fine. So am glad I've got that out the way.

Still haven't ovulated. Am coming up to five weeks post-mc now. Am hoping that my acupuncture session on Tuesday will either bring it on or just skip straight through to a period. Sorry I realise that compared to baubles and mummyinengland this is nothing. But am worried this cycle will go on for ages all the while I'm still waiting to do these sodding clotting tests.

In other news, I started yoga again this week and enjoyed it so much.

Hope all is well with everyone. There are a lot of preggos on this thread. Which is a good sign. Even though it makes me sad that I'm not even in the running right now. I do feel that if I ever get pg again this is the only thread that will understand the true extent of what emotions I will go through.

[lulu1414]

Hello everyone-
broken have you thought about saying you are hungover to get out of drinking? Believe you me, I have done it all having been pregnant 5 times (one DD)- antibiotics, driving, important meeting, etc etc. One that worked particularly well was having a friend in the know who kept filling up my glass with a "special" bottle of wine (elderflower decanted into wine bottle). Another was at a cocktail party when I kept filling my own glass wih different coloured fruit juice. Or a hen party where I had my own glass and made sure I sat next to my lush friend and kept switching our glasses- worked a treat! To be honest I have found I am more paranoid about people noticing me not drinking.. I find once everyone is merry they barely notice, so if you carry a wine glass around and periodically look like you are sipping it or take a couple of slight sips then people leave you alone.

hairy I feel for you. IT is all so sad and overwhelming. Fingers crossed it all gets looked at and you get some answers. So will you have surgery? I had that a few years ago and conceived my DD.

Hello to everyone else

[hairyfairylights]

Hi lulu I will have surgery if I need it. Although scans etc pre_erpc show normal healthy reproductive organs. Except for hycosy showing blocked tune (which consultant now says is unlikely - quite how he knows without looking is a mystery!)

[hairyfairylights]

Blocked tube bot tune!!

[hairyfairylights]

Bloody iPhone!

[ALovelyBunchOfBaubles]

Hi all,

digital your problems are just as important as mine or anyone elses. Please don't think you don't have a right to be concerned. I have sai
aard this on here before, that I don't think I deserve to be on here, that I feel a fraud etc but I soon got over it. Believe me you don't want your cycle to be as bad as mine! I second what you've said about this being the only place that understands the difficulty of being pregnant and not being able to enjoy it fully due to worry. I have a feeling everyone will have a BFP and I'll be left waiting.

lunatic my bruises are ok thanks. Arm is still tight but nothing serious. Earache is still a killer and the throat is getting worse. Grr. I don't think I've ever said why DD has to go to ENT so I don't think you missed anything. She has speech delay and at her 2 year check, the HVs (who I don't see the point of IMO) said they wanted her to have a hearing test. GP said she has wax build up and a few weeks of ear drops sorted that out. Just had to have an ENT appointment to check they were all clear so I can tell SALT that it isn't her ears causing the speech problems. Her speech has really started to come along nicely this last couple of weeks though :) She is sleeping much better now thanks.

Still think handing over all that stuff was very commendable :)

Not much to report here, still no news regarding my appointment. They will leave it to the last day to contact me no doubt. Went to visit Santa yesterday, had a lovely day out. Was DHs only day off for the rest of the month so I'm going to be pulling my hair out in the next couple of weeks. DD is always a terror when she doesn't see him much.

[banana87]

Hi guys! Not much time to catch up as just popping in quickly before I start painting...AF arrived this morning!!! I am pretty sure this is it because its painful, red, and clotty. Not very heavy for day 1, but heavier than spotting. Which means I go and have bloods done for clotting, etc Tuesday. Will do proper catch up tonight!

[MummyBellsAllTheWay]

Hi everyone, I am back in CR. minus my luggage though, boo. It feels good to swap the snow for sunshine

and like banana I also got AF!!!! mmc was confirmed on 31 March, so its been a mighty long wait. This for me is almost as exciting as a BFP!!

Digi hang in there, I think the first 6 weeks of waiting were the worst, that is when you want normality to return the most! Didnt you tell me once on charters that you had a cycle after mc without ovulation? Perhaps its the same this time and AF is right around the corner? I think acupuncture is a good move, I have read so many MN acupunture success stories now, I'm convinced it works.

bunchy love the nickname sorry about your fall, how awful! have you got arnica cream, it works wonders on DS lumps and bumps.

Hairy I am also a bit worried about your consultants comment about the blocked tube. Surely this should be investigated more, not less? When you say that you are willing to do anything, does that include doing investigations privately? I can totally recommend Dr Lower in London, (who I now think is a miracle worker) he is on the A list of doctors for treating AS sufferers, but this isnt the only work he
does. I keep a big folder of all my blood tes ts and reports and he looked through them all without making me pay to get them all done again through him, so you would be able to share what you learn from the NHS cons in order to keep costs down. Let me know if you want his contact details.

Justmee going with your sister sounds like a good idea. Try to write a list of questions before you go, talk them over with her so that she understands them too and take them with you. Also take notes while you are in there so you dont forget what the doctor says. I dont think you should "give up" and let nature take its course. I know its exhausting to keep fighting and its very frustrating doing it all in two languages, and you have been through so much already you must be very tired of it all. But please dont give up, it really will be worth it in the end. Just take a big deep breath, and make that next appoitnment xxx

big waves to everyone else, be safe in the snowxxxxx

[stillfrazzled]

Hi there, what a chatty weekend I've missed! Right, a deep breath and on with what's going to be a marathon update...

Mummybells good to hear you're safely back, but, er, luggage? What happened?

banana, I spose it's a good thing if AF is really here and you can start testing? Hope the painting goes well.

Baubles sympathy on feeling rotten. Must admit to being pretty much with you on HVs and their point (or lack of). Have met a couple of nice ones and had some good advice, but been told a lot of nonsense as well!

Hey Lunatic, glad your DH made it back - my dad did, too, much to our relief. Nice to have one less stress and at least now he's here if you need him.

Hairy can only second what everyone else said about pushing for tests, and feeling so sad for you. Conceiving twice in six months is very good going - fx that the medics can figure out how to get you past those first few weeks.

digital it's horrible to have to actually long for AF, isn't it? Hadn't heard of trying acupuncture but hope it does the trick. You're right, though, when things do start moving for you there will be someone here who understands every single thing you go through.

lulu hi to you, hope you're doing OK?

Broken I tried the AB thing (never works), best technique I've seen (or more accurately, failed to notice!) was my friend's. She just accepted a glass of whatever it was, took a couple of token sips, and then left it in her DH's vicinity for him to drink. He ended up pie-eyed a lot but she got away with it.

LAF liking the sound of hibernation. Think I had a modified version this week, did v little housework or anything else, just sofa-surfed. Feel quite well for it, too.

LadyBeen I always feel I should show willing, too. Is daft. FX for your 2WW.

Right, , sorry to anyone I've missed!

I did make it out of the road (with a little difficulty) and the rest of the drive to Mum's was absolutely fine. Have spent weekend vegging here, and now snow's gone am a bit less nervous about venturing out. Worktops did arrive, but with only one delivery driver - I'd managed to miss the bit about needing extra help to bring them in on the confirmation email . Luckily carpenter turned up and saved the day. Have no idea how kitchen looking and just hoping all is well...

[hairyfairylights]

thanks all.

Mummybells Yes I will go private if needs be. However I feel the NHS ought to investigate - god knows I have paid well into the system over the years (not that it works like that). After two 'strange' MC's and the NHS's ineptitude in dealing with my D&C I feel I really ought to get at least some basic tests.

Y'see I want to save my money for 1. IVF if required (too old to get it on NHS) and 2. maternity leave (as I will get statutory maternity pay only) - if I'm lucky enough to carry a baby to term.

thanks all for the encouragement - have had a very sad few days - but will bounce back I'm sure.

DP has poured me a glass of Crabbbies Ginger Beer

[LadybeenKissingSantaClaus]

Goodness, catching up on a Sunday evening is turning into a marathon effort. Don't think I can do a full namecheck.

broken my BF#2 who suffered 2 mc before successfully carrying a beautiful daughter, didn't tell us until she was 24 weeks. I had lunch with her three or four times, and met her to shopping. It was comical, especially at the end when she was having to pee every 5 minutes, but I understood her reluctance and played along, partly because I was also terrified that it would end badly for her again and was entirely happy to "not jinx it" if that's what we were doing.

hairyfairy you are in such a difficult place right now. Waiting to find out whether you'll be referred for tests is awful. I remember the sheer relief I felt when the nurse at my EPAU said straight out that she'd refer me for tests. I have no idea why she made that decision - it's entirely possible that is was purely because she felt sorry for me sobbing in a chair, and because she recognised me from the time she'd treated me three months earlier.
If the drs won't refer you, if you can afford it, you can opt to have private testing. Or you could pay for a consult at a fertility clinic, discuss your history and see what tests they would want to run before starting any treatment. Tigger on the TTC post MC thread said an initial consult is around £220.
I hope your GP will refer you on, but please don't feel trapped if they don't. Keep looking for the alternative path to keep moving forward. And two pregnancies in 12 months is good odds.

[LadybeenKissingSantaClaus]

By the way...I'm trying to remind myself that 2 pg in twelve months is good going. It helps me to keep a level head about most likely not getting a 3rd pg this year.

[hairyfairylights]

thanks all of you.

Ladybeenkissinganta - I too am trying to remind myself that 2 pg in twelve months is good going. I am in the WTF cycle at the moment - no sign of ovulatin yet - and I am panicking about 'what if' my body doesn' kick start.

I had a lovely crop of zits about a week after the D&C and I have two whoppers at the moment - one on my back, one on my neck (nice!) so I am hoping that my hormones are getting sorted.

Will also ask acupuncturist on Saturday.

[ALovelyBunchOfBaubles]

Just popping in quick to say my friend and her new baby are coming to see me in a matter of minutes... [brave face and deep breath]

[Brokenbits]

LAF Like you, I haven't allowed myself to feel happy yet. Not really. It's a bit of a defense mechanism, although I know that nothing could prepare me for the worst. My DH asked if he could tell his parents the other day and I nearly had a breakdown. I can't even entertain the thought of a real pregnancy until I see a baby with a hb and, even then, it will only be the first hurdle. Am I right in thinking your scan is this Thursday? Mine is next Monday. A whole week! It was going to be this Wednesday, but I altered it because I felt it was too early. Now a small part of me wants to just go and get it over with, but I know I've made the right decision. I've never known time to drag this slowly. I'll be thinking of you. x

hairy Well done for biting the bullet and asking for testing. You don't get if you don't ask. I can relate to the feeling of total sadness. This is the hardest journey ever - often even harder than pregnancy - because at times there just feels like no hope and there's no one to blame. At least with pg, there's a focus and something to keep you going. It's not a wonder people need help for their mental wellbeing before they can cope with the physical stuff. I am a little concerned about your miraculously self-correcting blocked tube. That sounds like a medical impossibility to me. I'd demand further investigation and a second opinion if needs be.

justmee I'm no expert on this, but that 'hormone injection???? ' of which your doctor spoke sounds more likely to be heparin (given the timescales) which isn't a hormone! I can't help but be a little worried about your language barrier issues. Make sure you know what you're getting before you accept it.

digi Well done for meeting up with NCT friends, especially given that one of them is pregnant. You're doing better than me. I clocked my pregnant friend in town the other day and pegged it in the other direction. Very childish I know - not to mention stupid in this icy weather - but I simply can't face pregnant people until I've got this scan out of the way and I know what I'm dealing with. Even then, I might find it hard. The truth is, I have no idea what to say to them! It's tradition to congratulate people, expecially those you're supposed to like, and I don't want to be a hypocrite, or cause upset by not doing what I'm expected to do. You really must stop belittling your problems in light of other people's. We all have problems of varying degrees and they're all BIG problems to us. We wouldn't be here otherwise and yours is no less significant than anyone else's. If it helps to moan, then please do it. The rest of us do!

Baubles I felt the way you do for months. Everyone kept getting pg around me and I was panicking that I'd be the last one here several years down the line, when everyone's babies had grown into toddlers/ started school etc. See how I catastrophise? I think you'd be a bit odd if you didn't feel like that every now and again. Sadly, there seems to be quite a high turnover of loss on this thread with a lot of new ladies all the time, so the BFPs here and there - whilst occasionally distressing to those who are still waiting - are an indication of hope that it will happen one day.
Hope you survived your friend and new baby's visit. God, you're a tough cookie! Way, way braver than me.

Mummy and banana it feels so wrong to congratulate you both on the eventual arrival of AF, but I can imagine it must feel a bit like winning the lottery after all this time. I suppose it's a little like the way I felt when I was told I'd definitely ovulated for the first time in 18 months, so I do understand the relief. Time to celebrate with champagne methinks!
Glad you got home safely Mummy. It's still freezing here! -8 this morning! Brrrrrrrrrr.

lulu Thanks for all that brilliant advice. I'm considering having a bottomless can of lager so no one can see the contents, or maybe a shandy which I can sip periodically. I also considered non-alcoholic beer/ wine. It's just awkward when people offer to get you drinks, so I need to make sure I look like I'm drinking as it's easier than finding excuses. Like you, I find it more awkward if people notice I'm not and then question it!!! I've already opted out of a load of Christmas social occasions, because it's just easier than the stress that comes with all the lies! We have briefly considered telling our parents and no one else at Christmas, so that we have someone in the know to look after us if it gets awkward. Still not sure if I feel strong enough, with or without a positive scan.

Lunatic I must have missed some of what you've said about your Mum in a previous thread. I remember feeling a bit jealous about how amazing you made her sound at one point, but has she suffered a similar loss to you too? I've said it before but the powers that be really know how to hand it out, don't they?

Boobs are still vaguely tender, but nothing to write home about. I've been a bit queasy and had a couple of out-of-the-blue gagging moments if I try to do anything remotely strenuous, especially if I'm in cold fresh air (funnily enough I remember this from last time), but I wouldn't be surprised if the nausea wasn't entirely related to anxiety tbh!

Glad your DH is home and everyone is safe. Also pleased to hear you have little to report. No news is good news, right?

frazzled Sounds like my DH is going to be even more sozzled than usual this Christmas! I love how I'm already planning that all will be well, even though I couldn't be less optimistic right now if I tried!

Hoping the kitchen is now nearly there and looking amazing! Probably best to be out of it for a bit. Glad the drive to your Mum's wasn't too stressful and I hope you're being well looked after.

Lady at your friend's not so secret pregnancy. If I get anywhere near as big, as early as I did last time, I couldn't really pull that off. I'm really pleased that she had a friend like you and am slightly envious that I don't. Not that I would wish mc on my friends, you understand!

My biggest problem is that I have no one in RL who I'm close enough to, who gets this on any level. They will probably think I'm being neurotic if I try to explain why 12 weeks isn't a cut-off point in terms of danger for me because pregnancy does not equal baby in my head. Thankfully, very few of my friends have been through mc and the ones who have all live far enough away so that it isn't an issue. I do feel like a lousy friend to my pregnant friend right now, but if she didn't expect this after the months and months of me pouring out my little broken heart to her, then I guess there's no chance she ever will. I think that's probably my biggest beef with her if I'm honest. She's the only one who I've dared tell my biggest fears and yet she seems to be manipulating that information to make me feel worse about the fact that she's pg. It's not really a wonder I don't generally open up to people in RL!

You're right that 2 pregnancies in 12 months is very good going and potentially a good leveller in terms of not getting pregnant so quickly again. Doesn't help the obsessive madness though, does it?

So enough waffling. I'm a bit mental because I've had some exceptionally light, pink spotting (usually when going to the loo so am guessing it's to do with my cervix rather than anything more sinister), but it's still there IYKWIM. 6 weeks today and trying to remain calm. I know they can't really tell me anything of any value until my scan, so I'm just going to sit tight and try not to slide off the ledge.

Waves to anyone I've missed!

[Glitterybits]

In a fit of madness, I've decided I need an upbeat Christmassy name too!

[mumatron]

quick hello to all, been lurking but not posting for a while.

will try and get on again later and catch up if poss.

all ok here.