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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

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Original poster

possible miscarriage after already had a stillborn...this is so unfair!!

98 replies

shelly24 · 10/09/2005 09:55

I went for my booking appointment at queens yesterday as i am meant to be 9+6 today according to my calculations of first day of last period etc,but was scanned yesterday and told that the baby is only the size of a 5 week gestation!?
Basically the baby has either stopped growing at 5 weeks or my dates are completely wrong???
I really don't understand and its totally breaking my heart all over again as i lost my first born son in may who was stillborn at 33wks.I was told that what happened to him would never happen again,and when i got pregnant again i didn't even contemplate miscarriage etc,as i just thought i had had my bad luck with my little boy!?
I have to go back to the hospital next friday for another scan to see whether the baby has grown,if not then i have probably had a missed miscarriage or am about to have one.
Iwas feeling pretty negative,and always thinking the worst when i got preg again,because of what i had been through with my first preg,but am feeling really guilty that maybe being negative has caused all this to happen!?
The doc says that it is possible that i could have got my dates wrong as she has seen this happen before,but i don't understand how i could have been 4 weeks out in my calculations!??
before i got pregnant the first time my periods were really regular..28days for around 5 days each time,so after the stillbirth i had one period without calculating lengths etc and presumed i would conceive around the 14th day,which is usual for a 28 day cycle....and i did!!
But now there saying the possibility is that i may have ovulated later than usual(it being my first period after the stillbirth,it may have changed my cycles),or that the baby had just stopped growing at 5weeks.
When they scanned me yesterday that had to use a probe that is entered internally to scan for the baby,since then on and off i have had a pinkish discharge when i wipe myself,i didn't have this before and am wondering if it was just because i was prodded with that probe thing or whether its the start of something?
I'm so hurt and confused,i've gone right back down to that pit i was in when i first lost my son...i can't stop crying and wondering why its so hard!!...i just want a baby..is that too much to ask!!!??
Please has anyone experienced something like this?I really need to hear from others who have either got through something like this or who are experiencing it like me at the moment...please,please get back to me.x.x.x.

OP posts:
Enid · 10/09/2005 09:56

so sorry to hear this shelly. It seems so unfair. Keep us posted and fingers crossed for good news x E

maddyd · 10/09/2005 09:58

Oh Shelly i dont know what to say im so sorry for you, really i am. What a nightmare for you. Its what happened to me if thats any help. For me it wasnt a posotive out come
BUT
it also happened to Thomcat and it turned out her dates were wrong and she now must be about 5 months gone.
Good Luck Honey, im here for you. Ill drive down if need be. xxxxxx

Original poster
shelly24 · 10/09/2005 10:06

thanxs maddyd.xwhen i saw your name come up i cried my eyes out,i'm so sorry i haven't been around lately talking to you all,i just wanted to get this friday out the way before i started to settle into pregnant life again,and look whats happened!!
I'm just praying for a glimmer of hope nxt friday i really am

OP posts:
cori · 10/09/2005 10:07

Shelly,
I am so sorry to hear about what you are going through. It is unfair that you have to go through this again so son after losing your son. There is just no other way to think about it really. I hope for your sake that you have got your dates wrong, your cycles can change after pregnancies. However if you have any bleeding i think you should contact the hospital.
I had miscarriage at 17 weeks in APril of this year, and am currenyly 6 weeks pregnant at the moment, I have my first scan on Monday.
Take care.

foxinsocks · 10/09/2005 10:09

shelly, I really hope this is a case of wrong dates.

Did they find a reason for your little boy's stillbirth? I know sometimes there is no reason but if things don't turn out the way you want them to, I would really really push for a referral to a recurrent miscarriage clinic (I have a friend who had a miscarriage at 22 weeks and has now gone on to have her first child). Maybe there is something they are missing or haven't tested for.

maddyd · 10/09/2005 10:13

Shelly im with you all the way on this as is everyone. Take Care and i will be thinking of you and although not religious at all, ill be praying too.

WigWamBam · 10/09/2005 10:18

I really hope this turns out to be just a problem with the dates - if it's any consolation, when I went for my first scan, which was meant to be at 12 weeks, I was actually only about 8 weeks, so it's entirely possible to be four weeks out with the calculations.

I really hope everything works out for you.

HellKat · 10/09/2005 10:50

{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}
Shelly- Here's hoping Friday will bring good news.
It is possible your dates are wrong (after what you've been through especially). But, hope this does'nt sound harsh, be prepared for the worst too just incase. That way when it's good news, you can go crazy and celebrate. Will be thinking of you and we're here for you.

Diddle · 10/09/2005 13:39

Shelly - so sorry to hear you are going through this. But try and stay positive ( i know, easy for me to say)it is possible your dates are mixed up or you ov later than normal, after something as major as a stillbirth it can take months for your cycle to regulate. I would imagine that the pink discharge could have quite possibly been caused by the probe. I hope that all is well on your scan next week.
Did they do a blood test, because surely they could see you again in a couple of days an test again to see if your hcg levels are increasing. I would imagine if they were concerned they would have done this to check whats happening, and you would find out sooner. Might be worth asking your gp on Monday if they can do this for you, or refer you.
MY thoughts are with you shelly, and in the nicest possible way, it would be a shame to see you back on the ttc thread.

snailspace · 10/09/2005 14:52

Message withdrawn

CHOCOLATEPEANUT · 10/09/2005 16:38

I just 'heard' about you on TTC thread.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO this cant be happening?? I am heartbroke for you. i have thought about you everyday and cannot believe this. I so want your dates to be wrong hun.

I had a missed miscarriage in 1992. I went for 12 week scan and was told the sac was only 5 weeks.They told me to come back to be re mearsured in case dates were wrong but my ex husband worked away so I knew I concieved on his only weekend home.Even so I tried to convince myself my dates were wrong but then started to bleed a very little.You know the rest.I had a girl 11 years later (I wasnt TTC for that long.I split up and much later remarried)then Philippa who like Bryn I lost.

Lets hope that your dates ARE wrong,so many women have shared this experience.

I am here to support and pray for you

xxxx

starlover · 10/09/2005 16:41

hi shelly... a similar thing happened to someone else on here a while ago. turned out that the dates were wrong and she is now healthily pregnant!

i really feel for you, and hope you get a positive outcome from your next scan

Original poster
shelly24 · 10/09/2005 17:17

thanx for al your encouraging messages,it really means alot!.x.x(((((((hugs)))))))
Hi c.p...can you believe this might be happening to me!!??!,why,what have i done so wrong!!??
I'm at the lowest of low at the moment,crying all the time,and just hoping everything will be ok,but i'm really not sure!?This has really knocked me for six!!
I'm still having pinkish stuff every now and then when i go to the loo,but no pains or anything as yet
I didn't think i would ever get as low as i did when Rhys died,but i'm not far from it now,and its churned up so many horrible memories.
A friend of ours sent a 'thinking of you'card and some flowers and it just set me off crying for ages...she means well i know,but it just made me remember all the cards and flowers we got when Rhys died...we were like a bloody florist!!
thank you for all your support its really helping,i haven't got many people around me at the moment,so i really do appreciate it.
Dh is being a complete rock..i don't know what i'd do without him...hes trying to be so strong for me,and rarely shows his own feelings,i love him SOOO much!!(soz,feeling really emotional at the moment).x
Will you all keep chatting to me?it is really helping me get through...x
!!!

OP posts:
HellKat · 10/09/2005 17:21

Sure thing Shelly! That's what we're here for.
You'll have to find something to do next week to take your mind off the wait. At least I was lucky there, I was told on the day of the scan my little one had died 4 wks previously.
In your case it's the not knowing and that must be awful!
x

Original poster
shelly24 · 10/09/2005 17:27

Snailspace:your circumstances sound so similar to mine!!?Do you mind talking about it with me?I think it would really help to talk to someone who has had two losses like i 'may' have to go through,and has had happy pregnancies too?
Do you mind me asking about your losses?.x(sorry if you do,i don't mean to intrude.x)

OP posts:
berolina · 10/09/2005 17:27

oh shelly. I'm so sorry you're having to go through this, especially after losing your son.
I had a lot of internal scans in my pg and also had little pink (and brown, and red... sorry tmi) 'bits' in my discharge. It could well be that.
Thinking of you.

Original poster
shelly24 · 10/09/2005 17:31

Hellkat:its horrible!!!when Rhys had died i was given a tablet and had to go away for a week before having a pesary and going on to deliver him...the waiting was a nightmare!!!and even before that i had to wait over a long weekend to have a scan to confirm his heart had stopped.
It just feels like you are always waiting around,and it just does my head in not knowing!!.x

OP posts:
strike1 · 10/09/2005 17:32

I've got everything crossed for you Shelly. Sending all the luck and love I can find your way.

Original poster
shelly24 · 10/09/2005 17:33

thanx berolina,thats good to know.x

OP posts:
Diddle · 10/09/2005 18:47

Shelly,

I can't imagine how you feel, the waiting is horrible i had to wait over the weekend for my scan on my 2nd m/c, its was heartbreaking, and i actually tried to get seen at another hospital and by my local one, and nobody would see me. It is so frustrating. You can't help but think the worst, and please don't think that you not being pisitive about the pregnancy has had any effect on it, unfortunatly what will be will be, you have done nothing to deserve this. Its just the way things happen sometimes. I know its easy for me to say, but everything happens for a reason, and i truly believe that.
You're lucky to have a supportive husband. mine was just the same, trying to be strong for both of us.
I hope it all works out

snailspace · 10/09/2005 19:01

Message withdrawn

CHOCOLATEPEANUT · 10/09/2005 19:04

Shelly so sorry called Rhys,Bryn.

wendy11 · 10/09/2005 19:08

Shelly

Although I have not been on MN much lately I could not let this go by without saying how sorry I am for what you are going through and tell you my story so that you do not feel you are alone in this.

After ttc for almost 5 years I finally fell pg last year. Our little boy was still born last September due to a condition called Potters Syndrome where his kidneys failed to develop properly. I felt as if my world had ended the day he was born ...... the little baby we had longed for was gone.

Our GP referred us for IVF and we were very fortunate to fall pg at the first attempt. At our first scan the consultant was concerned about the size of the sac and as it was an IVF pg there was no doubt about my dates. The only thing that kept me going was the fact that there was a heartbeat present. A week later and the sac had grown but was still smaller that it should have been so I had to go back two weeks later for another scan. Unfortunately at this scan although the sac had grown there was no longer a heartbeat. I could't believe that after all we had been through that this could happen to us. I had an ERPC three days later as I couldn't face waiting for nature to take its course.

I have been very up and down emotionally since Adam was born last year and felt I was coping very well with our latest loss but needless to say there are times when I feel that I am in the depths of despair. This morning I completley fell to pieces simply because our IVF review appointment has been put back from the 11th Oct to the 22nd Nov. I am actually going to go privately to see our consultant as I simply can't wait that long to get back on the bandwagon of ttc.

I am sorry if this is a bit of an essay or if I have hi-jacked your thread but I am here if you would like to talk about what is happening to you. Keep thinking positive and I will keep everything crossed that Friday will bring you good news.

CHOCOLATEPEANUT · 10/09/2005 19:20

Wendy11 so sorry to hear off another mother who has had the pain and anguish of a stillborn.

xxxxxxxxxx

PeachyClair · 10/09/2005 19:44

Hiya. I don't really know if this will offer you any hope as I've never been through this, but I was born after my Mum had several stillbirths (4) plus a forced termination due to Rubella damage. All her stillbirths were due to a continiuing problem which against all odds rectified itself. Anyway I was born without complication, she then went on to have my Sis 18 months later, and Sis no 3 was born 3 years later, unplanned PG she didnt even know about until she was 5 months gone!

So I hope you realise that if it was possible for people to go on to have babies after trauma in 1973, it should be more medically feasible now.

best wishes and I hope you get the news you are praying for on your scan. If your Doctor thinks there is hope, then there is, they don't keep people hopes up for nothing.