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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

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Original poster

How to prepare for a stillbirth [sad]

99 replies

fudgecat · 13/09/2010 15:43

This is my first pregnancy and I?m 33+6 weeks. At my 20 week scan it was discovered that my baby had severe onset IUGR and was told the prognosis was poor. At the consultant?s recommendation I went for an amnio the following day, this came back all clear but also caused my waters to break. I have been in and out of hospital ever since and have made it to 33 weeks but the baby hasn?t grown much and is the size of a 23\24 week baby. I have been having weekly scans and at last weeks scan we were told that the reverse flow had got a lot worse and that the baby was likely to pass away this week.
They won?t offer me a section as I have low platelets and would be at too high risk of bleeding\hysterectomy.

I have been trying so hard to stay strong and hope for a miracle but I know that I now need to prepare myself for a stillbirth.
How can I prepare myself for this?

OP posts:

KTRace · 18/09/2010 12:01

I am thinking of you too xx

Hermya321 · 18/09/2010 14:27

Thinking of you Fudge.

nickstermum · 18/09/2010 23:42

Fudge im so very very sorry for what you are having to go through. Life can be so very very unfair. My thoughts are with you and your family.

To all the other women on this thread, your strength inspires me.

sowhatis · 19/09/2010 00:01

CazEm, your DD is gorgeous.

fudge, I am so so sorry you are going through this and I am praying for you and your baby

xxx

giraffesCantDanceInBrokenHeels · 19/09/2010 00:13

thinking of you x

Theincrediblesulk1 · 19/09/2010 00:26

I am so sorry to hear all your going through. I am the mummy of a still borne little boy. I don't think anything can prepare you, i don't really know what to say, i really wish i could come up with something heart warming and clever to make all the pain go away xxxx

You just have my greatest sympathies

Original poster

fudgecat · 27/09/2010 16:47

Just wanted to let you know my little boy was stillborn 10 days ago. He was the most beautiful baby I have ever seen.

Thank you for all the support you gave me.

OP posts:

travellingwilbury · 27/09/2010 16:54

I am so sorry , I know that I and many others have been wishing and hoping for a miracle for you .

Please when you feel able or ready come and talk to us here

Be kind to yourself , I hope you are getting lots of support IRL too x

TheBeefyDwt · 27/09/2010 17:02

So, so sorry for your loss.
What did you call him?
Take care of yourself x

CazEM · 27/09/2010 17:44

fudge I'm so so sorry to hear this. As TW said I had also been wishing for a miracle for you, and popping here everyday hoping for good news. Be gentle on yourself and please find us on the bereaved Mummies thread when and if you want to...

Love Caz xxx

KTRace · 27/09/2010 17:48

fudge I am so sorry to hear this xxx

Minione · 27/09/2010 21:34

Fudge I'm so sorry to hear this. I hope you are being looked after by friends and family and when you are ready please come and chat on the bereaved mummies thread.

What did you name your little boy?

mumatron · 28/09/2010 19:10

thinking of you fudge

come back when you are ready, there will always be someone here to listen if you need it.

ilovesprouts · 28/09/2010 19:22

so sorry fudge x

Jugglers · 28/09/2010 20:35

Oh Fudge, so very, very sorry

And to all of the inspirational and brave women on here - I know that sounds very patronising, it's not to supposed to - I don't know what to say. Reading your posts and about your beautiful born-sleeping babies is just so heartbreakingly sad whilst strangely uplifting - your strength and enormous love is so inspirational.

Lots of love to you all

Wanderingsheep · 28/09/2010 20:44

I'm so sorry to read of your loss .

zapostrophe · 28/09/2010 21:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

KnitterNotTwitter · 28/09/2010 21:24

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. I've been lurking on this thread since you first posted, not knowing what to say. Your hope for your lovely baby has been a wonderful thing and I am so, so, so sorry to hear that your baby was not meant to be.

I'm sending all my love to you, your family and your baby.

littlewish · 29/09/2010 09:38

Thinking of you. It's all just so sad x

PollyLogos · 04/10/2010 21:34

I'm so sorry to read this Fudge. x

SANDRA1982 · 18/04/2011 17:36

hi,i lost my baby on 3rd january,he was stillborn at 38weeks
he had growth restriction but we didnt know untill it was to late.
my advice to you is to speak to your consultant and demand what you need
even at 23 weeks size your baby could survive
dont take any rubbish of them,this is your baby and your body
speak up and be counted.
i hope this helps
if you need to talk to sombody who as experienced this,you are welcome to email me at [email protected]
i understand how u feel

stillstanding · 18/04/2011 17:37

Oh Fudge, I am so so sorry for you and your family. Thinking of you.

Northernlurker · 18/04/2011 17:41

Sandra - sadly this thread is from several months ago and fudgecat's son passed away. So sorry for your own loss

fletch7 · 21/04/2011 12:51

I am a mum my self of 2 an cant image the pain of losing a baby, but recently I have gone back to work and my new company has been working with Sands to develop a Medecool Unit, it allows parents to spend precious time with their much loved baby. Having spoken with many of the hospitals who have them in place I am in awe of the product. A lot of parents who feel they want to do something positive after such dreadful circumstances should consider fundraising for your local hospital.

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