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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

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Original poster

Third time lucky....

44 replies

purplehandprint · 29/07/2010 22:36

Hello

Im in need of some joint positive mental attitude! This is the first time I have started a thread on mumsnet, so apologies for incorrectness, but have lurked for some months.

We have been trying for DC No2 for 18 months, DD is 2 and a half, in which time we have had two mc at 12 weeks (oct09) & 6 weeks (Feb10).

We havent told anyone apart from close family & a couple of friends but my family (not DH he had been great)arent really very supportive/encouraging, primarily because I dont think they understand. And the two close friends are either a. pregnant or b. just had a baby

From reading on mumsnet it seems there are lots of us trying for a third time and I wondered does anyone else need more optimism and support?

PHPxxx

OP posts:
lulu1414 · 30/07/2010 08:57

I'm in! Very similar to you- DD is 2, we had Mc at 6 1/2 weeks (Feb) and 10 weeks (June). In the same boat as closest friends are pregnant. Definitely need to think positive, but is is a long race.

Debs3013 · 30/07/2010 11:07

Count me in - nothing but positive vibes and good luck wishes from here.

You've got a long journey but everyone on here will be behind you :-)

mamadoc · 30/07/2010 14:11

Am still having my 2nd miscarriage so obv not ready to try again yet but expect I will be at some point.

Have also been trying for DC2 for 18mo and have 3 yo DD.
Dsis and SIL are both pregnant currently and Dsis due same month as I was. Her pregnancy was unplanned and although I love her so much I can't help but feel jealous and wonder why not me.

I feel worse after this 2nd one as it seems harder to believe its just hard luck although I know it might be. Also I did know friends who'd had one miscarriage but no-one IRL who has had two.

We started ttc again straight away after the 1st one but it still took 6 mo and I think I might wait a bit this time. I felt very dependent on getting pregnant again to get over it. I was so upset every time my period came and it hasn't worked out anyway so I think this time I will give myself a break for a bit.

Have you guys considered getting any tests? I know it has to be after 3 to get a proper NHS referral but my lovely GP has said she would run some herself for me if it would help. I think it might be reassuring if it came back OK. If we do get pg again I can't imagine how stressed I'm going to be. It was bad enough this time.

lulu1414 · 31/07/2010 07:40

I have been referred to the recurrent miscarriage clinic (I'm not in the UK), but will not go until September when I am back from hols. They did very initial blood tests to look for infection and throid which were all fine.

My good friend who had 2 miscarriages is now pregnant and all looks good. She is being very closely monitored. I also have a cousin who had 2 miscarriages and then had a healthy baby followed by another- so hoepfully there is luck for us!

randomimposter · 31/07/2010 09:24

Hi PHP
Am certainly hoping your thread title is true! Have DS 2y2mo, then a MMC@13 in August 2009, and a MMC@11 in February 2010, and am now 9+5. Am 42 so time is definitely not on my side...

Good luck to everyone trying again!

Original poster
purplehandprint · 03/08/2010 21:21

Great news Jollster - hoping you are the first to be third time lucky!

Everyone else good luck

mamadoc you must be feeling low, it is so shit in the days/weeks afterwards, and as you quite rightly say harder second time around to accept, as it doesnt seem so unlucky, but going on the amount that do have two on mumsnet I think it still is - but I know that wont help you at the moment.

I know we'd rather not feel jealous but unfortunatley I just cant help it.

I had a late (only 3 days) & heavy period a few months back and it seemed like one half of my body was sending out pregnancy vibes (sore boobs & v tired) whilst the other was resisting, lots of niggles & gripes. Doctor thinks it might have been another but as there was no evidence I am not counting it, but consequently she sent me for bloods,an internal & normal scan, non of which found anything which I think is good news. I am curently waiting for a consultants appointment.

Has anyone else had these conflicting symptoms?

PHPx

OP posts:
welshmummy2B · 03/08/2010 22:58

im in same position so i know how u feel, its my third pregnancy (previously miscarried two) im only 6 and half weeks and really scared to get excited but feel guilty for not feeling happy at the same time. fingers crossed we both will have the 3rd time lucky charm casted on us xxx good luck chick, wishing you all the best xxx

AnyFucker · 03/08/2010 23:11

Hello

I want to wish you all the best

I was third time lucky

A long time ago now, but I remember exactly how it feels x

welshmummy2B · 04/08/2010 17:54

thanks anyfucker... got my appointment in 2 days time cant wait to know what happens but crapping myself at the same time xxx

Iggii · 05/08/2010 20:56

Hello, I seem to be in the same position - I have one DS (3) and found out yesterday I am having a second miscarriage. It seems insane to even think of trying again, as I'm convinced the same thing will happen. But it's all I can think about! Am 40 btw.
It would be very helpful to share any advice anyone has from GP etc, as I imagine we will all be told/offered different things.

chinook · 05/08/2010 21:04

Hello ladies I am sorry you have all been through such a difficult time. I also want to wish you good luck and hope you will take encouragement from my story. I had dd, then 2 mc's and now my 5 month old ds is asleep on my knee. Please don't give up hope. You will get there. And you know, I think my ds is that little bit extra special because I realise how lucky I am he is here.

Original poster
purplehandprint · 05/08/2010 21:39

Thxs chinook for positive message, I so hope we all get there too.

So sorry iggii for your loss but I dont think its insane to try again, and once your emotions and body have settled down maybe you'll reaslise that too.

I think once youve had even one MC you are convinced its going to happen, let alone two.

I had some bloods, internal & external scan done and waiting for consultants appointment at the mo, so not really able to offer any advice yet. Go easy on yourself over the next couple of days

Good luck welshmummy2b for tomorrow

PHPxx

OP posts:
kitpuss · 08/08/2010 21:07

Hi OP, I too had 2 MC when trying to conceive our second child. I then got pregnant straight away after the second, which was completely stressful, I just wasn't ready to go through the whole emotional rollercoaster again.
However, it worked that time, my son is now 19 months old.

I'm sure you'll get there too. xxx

Iggii · 08/08/2010 22:51

Its great to hear hopeful stories, kitpuss.
Just got a message from a friend to announce her pregnancy - that makes 5 pregnant friends I now have (happy for them but god it does hurt).

Iggii · 08/08/2010 22:51

Its great to hear hopeful stories, kitpuss.
Just got a message from a friend to announce her pregnancy - that makes 5 pregnant friends I now have (happy for them but god it does hurt).

Iggii · 15/08/2010 19:43

Have been on amazon today ordering the books that will sort us out! Amazed at how many books there are about pregnancy after miscarriage.

randomimposter · 16/08/2010 18:36

sadly was NOT 3rd time lucky for me, had 12 week scan today, no heartbeat, measured only 10+1 weeks.

Wanders off to muse on the unfairness of 3 MMCs in 12 months.... Arse.

Hope there is better luck elsewhere.

mamadoc · 16/08/2010 20:29

Oh jollster so sorry for you Sad
Wishing for you to get through it and have peace with whatever you decide for the future.

upturnj · 16/08/2010 20:42

Hi jollster, sorry to hear your sad news. If it helps at all I'm half way (23 weeks) on fourth time lucky.
I know you might not even what to think about TTC again so soon but I had 3 MMC's in 12 months, last one being in Feb 10 and conceived immediatly afterwards. I also made dam sure I was scanned every 2 weeks from 6 weeks.
All the best to you. I can imagine how sad you are x x

starkadder · 16/08/2010 20:45

HI all

Firstly - sorry to Jollster :( Wishing you the best and hoping you will recover quickly.

I did want to say though - I was third time lucky. Good luck to you all.

mumatron · 16/08/2010 20:52

jollster i had 4 mc (3 of which where missed) all within 18 months. now 22 weeks pg.

i still don't feel like it's really happening tbh and i don't feel like i will ever enjoy being pg again.

hope you have some luck in the future.

Chrysanthemum5 · 16/08/2010 21:01

I had a mc (6-7 weeks) when with my ex-H, we TTC for 2 years in total but no pregnancy. A few years later I had DS with DH, tried for a second baby and had a mc at about 6-7 weeks. It took 4 months for my cycle to go back to normal and that month we conceived DD.

I think people don't talk much about mcs. It was only when I had my second one that other people said they had 2 or more mcs.

Good luck to everyone

upturnj · 16/08/2010 21:47

mumatron good to hear all is going well for you.
I still feel like I'm on a rollercoaster, often very tearful and daren't let myself get too excited and the weeks are dragging. On the +side, baby is growing well.

randomimposter · 17/08/2010 08:59

thanks all for your thoughts - upturnj you are my inspiration, wishing you all the very best with your pregnancy :)

nickstermum · 17/08/2010 09:28

Jollster, i am so sorry for your sad news. Whilst i have not been as unlucky as some of the on here, i am currently going through my first MC....at 12 wks and hoping the worst is now over, after the most hideous 24hours. My husband is keen to try again, but i am scared the same will happen again. I dont know how everyone on here is strong enough to do it.

I read something on another thread that has stuck with me, am sure others have read it too.

"Mother nature can be do cruel at times, but thats why she made women so god-damn strong"

So true... heres hoping for more positive stories for everyone :)