Third time lucky....

[purplehandprint]

Hello

Im in need of some joint positive mental attitude! This is the first time I have started a thread on mumsnet, so apologies for incorrectness, but have lurked for some months.

We have been trying for DC No2 for 18 months, DD is 2 and a half, in which time we have had two mc at 12 weeks (oct09) & 6 weeks (Feb10).

We havent told anyone apart from close family & a couple of friends but my family (not DH he had been great)arent really very supportive/encouraging, primarily because I dont think they understand. And the two close friends are either a. pregnant or b. just had a baby

From reading on mumsnet it seems there are lots of us trying for a third time and I wondered does anyone else need more optimism and support?

PHPxxx

Oh Jollster, so sorry. That is so unfair.
Hoping at least you will get some advice/answers from your doctors, now.

Jollster - I am so sorry to hear your sad news. How completely demoralising for you.

Iggii which books have you opted for? Friends pregnancy are hard to cope with especially when coinciding with your own due dates.

How are you mamadoc?

Mumatron & upturnji thanks keeping us positive, it is needed....

PHP
xxx

Purple you asked about the books (it's iggi btw) - I have bought Lesle Regan's Miscarriage what every woman needs to know, and also Susan Rousselot's Avoiding Miscarriage.
They arrived today, so I can't vouch for them being any good! Am hoping though that knowledge is power,to get me ready for that GP visit I'm planning in a few weeks..

i got the lesley regan one and the dr beer book, differing opinions but i felt it helped me see every side of it iyswim. Regans book is more like what will be looked at via the nhs and Dr Beer was going to be my possible next step if the nhs didn't find anything.

for me the reading and researching really helped. it stopped me feeling useless while waiting for appt dates etc. gave me a focus i suppose.

i would be happy to send on the books i have, but tbh i don't feel ready to part with them yet. i'm still not over the fear of losing this baby and still panic over jinxing it

3rd time trying here..

lost baby 1 aug 09 and baby 2 may 10...i felt bad with baby 2 i didnt celebrate every second but i was worrid n scared and sadly we lost our lil one

3rd time lucky we pray ..am having tests at docs day 2 and 21 ..day 2 came out fine..hubbys given a sample ahem...and this week i should be ovulating so will be on my best seductive behaviour and hopefulli get one of his best lil swimmers inplanted that will stay there for 9 months..

i say all this but am all over the place ..breaking down in morrisons over an orange etc..but we have to stay positive right ladies?

hugs to you all and to all the lil beans..stay sticky!

Good luck Jerzyg.
Have now read Lesley Regan and am a bit wiser, but not any happier!

Good luck Jerzyg.
Have now read Lesley Regan and am a bit wiser, but not any happier!

Hiya just wanted to say I was 3rd time lucky and ds2 is 1 in a couple of weeks , also I started a thread just like this asking had anyone been 3rd time lucky, I think it was my lucky thread . Good luck to you all

[Grin]
Thanks for the encouragement V!

[Grin]
Thanks for the encouragement V!

Thanks for asking php.
Physically OK.
Mentally not great. Crying over stupid stuff, can't stand to hear babies crying makes me want to run away.
We didn't ttc straight away. I decided I would wait for my next period.
I have been thinking a lot over if I even want another baby. Might be just me trying to sort of insure myself against failing again but I have been thinking over the advantages of just having DD eg not doing baby stage nappies and sleepless nights over again, more freedom, progress in my career, more money.
Dh really wants to try again so we agreed one more try but I think not more than that.

Mamdoc I have a list like that too! I still really want to try again, but we think only for one more year, so it's sort of coming up with a plan B to support me if it never happens. Was thinking tonight we'll not miss any of his football games, school shows etc if we just have one.
Not sure if that's being sensible or pathetic.

Mamdoc I have a list like that too! I still really want to try again, but we think only for one more year, so it's sort of coming up with a plan B to support me if it never happens. Was thinking tonight we'll not miss any of his football games, school shows etc if we just have one.
Not sure if that's being sensible or pathetic.

Apologies for the double postings. Phone has mind of its own.

Apologies for the double postings. Phone has mind of its own.

Glad to hear I'm not totally odd to think like this.
Its odd really if it had happened easily we would have two by now and I would never have questioned it but I guess I am quite fatalistic as a person. I tend to believe things happen for a reason and I would see it as a sign that I should redirect my energies to other things if its 3rd time unlucky.
Just as I was recovering from MC2 DD, DH and I had a lovely afternoon out at the cinema and then dh and I had a weekend away and left DD with his parents and it got me thinking how if we did have a baby we wouldn't be doing either.
I mentioned thinking this way to my mum and my dsis but neither of them understood and just said I'll get over it, I'll regret it if I don't. Maybe this feeling will pass. After 1st MC I just wanted to get on with TTC again asap but this time I am much more pessimistic.

We can't control the outcome (except by deciding not to try) so it makes sense to keep two futures in mind - one with another baby and all that would bring, and one with the child we have and a different set of possibilities. I'm guilty of being very "all or nothing" usually so am trying to encourage myself into a new way of thinking!
I don't think I could recover from a 3rd mc - mind you I said that about this one.
I think we're at about the same stage at the moment? My bleeding's just tailing off now. Do you mind me asking, you said before your GP was going to offer you some tests - for what things?

We can't control the outcome (except by deciding not to try) so it makes sense to keep two futures in mind - one with another baby and all that would bring, and one with the child we have and a different set of possibilities. I'm guilty of being very "all or nothing" usually so am trying to encourage myself into a new way of thinking!
I don't think I could recover from a 3rd mc - mind you I said that about this one.
I think we're at about the same stage at the moment? My bleeding's just tailing off now. Do you mind me asking, you said before your GP was going to offer you some tests - for what things?

Wow VJay hope it is my lucky thread too and congrats on imminent arrival of DS2!

I have now skimmed both Lesle Regan's Miscarriage what every woman needs to know, and also Susan Rousselot's Avoiding Miscarriage. Think I'll probably get Dr Beers book too.

Agree Mumatron, books make me feel better too as if Im doing something, which is just as well as not seeing a consultant until late Oct for first consultation!

phpxxx