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Who knew your fanny shrivelled up and ran away when you hit mid 50s!?!

428 replies

shrumps · 28/09/2026 19:24

I certainly didn’t and I miss it! The only part of my body to become skinny and Im absolutely pissed off. Why did no one tell me about this?? And now I feel I can’t tell anyone else in case it’s just me.

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AsReadyAsIEverWillBe · 29/09/2026 11:56

This reply has been hidden

This reply has been hidden until the MNHQ team can have a look at it.

JasmineMac · 29/09/2026 11:56

IdiotCat · 29/09/2026 11:22

I was shocked and scared about vaginal atrophy too .. NOBODY WARNED ME THAT WE DRIED OUT AND SHRIVELLED UP LIKE AN OLD LEAF.
Felt itchy, hot, sore all the time. UTIs every month. Labia and my lovely clitoris vanished!! Orgasms melted away :(
At 50 even sitting down and walking was painful. I didn't know what was wrong for months so I tried Canestan, and Vaginal BV treatments ... but eventually found a Meno board on FB that explained what was happening to my poor bits.
Finally took a look in the mirror and was shocked at the grey haggard thing reflected back :(
I was already on HRT, but had to tell my GP (male) that I needed local oestrogen too, as he seemed clueless.
Now 60 and all works OK. It will never be like my rampant 20s/30s but I'm grateful everything functions and feels comfortable.
For those asking about sex and oestrogen cream in the vadge, I asked the doc about this and he said the dose was so very small it wouldn't affect the man unless (in his words) 'he was in there for hours' LOL.
I insert mine last thing at night before bed. We've had sex after with no ill effects.
Also ... lube becomes important after 50! Stuff like YES OB and YES WB helps everything go smoother. I also use daily moisturisers like YES VM or vaginal hyaluronic gel like Hyalofemme.

It's recommended that you don't insert the cream before sex. If you've not fully absorbed it, it will transfer and can cause irritation to your partner. It'll also be less effective for you (ie if it's transferred before having the chance to fully absorb). The general advice is to wait at least a few hours, preferably more.

AsReadyAsIEverWillBe · 29/09/2026 11:59

Just tried to recommend some 'equipment' from LH to help those of you struggling with your big O's during peri/menopause. MN has hidden it so I must have used to many 'bad' words in my enthusiasm to describe it. Hopefully they unhide it because it really is a good 'toy' and my recommendation was quite serious despite the jokey post.

WearyAuldWumman · 29/09/2026 12:00

Forgot to add to my previous posts...I think someone asked whether weight might have an impact.

I can't remember the full medical explanation, but medics have told me that fat does carry oestrogen - even when you're older.

I had the discussion with a couple of specialists because I was being checked out for a couple of possible oestrogen driven cancers. (It's one of the reasons that I set about losing a bit of fat/weight and building up muscle instead.) Swings and roundabouts, I guess.

I've been assured that the localised oestrogen doesn't carry a risk.

Fernsarethebestplants · 29/09/2026 12:09

Someone upthread said why bother with exercises/kegals when you just need the topical estrogen to prevent UTIs, stop thinning skin etc.

It's not quite treating the same problem, but keeping your pelvic floor exercised (can be achieved in multiple ways!) is very important as we age. It sounds obvious but I didn't think about it til fairly recently, but the vulva is made up of muscles, ligaments and skin, so it goes saggy and muscle is easily lost just as with your arms which get bingo wings.

I found I was not having incontinence as such, but just tiny amounts of leakage. Now I do my kegals and have bought a device for toning the pelvic floor, this has stopped. Basically, it's like using weights, you can ignore the advice but if you want to stay toned, have great sex, then you can improve the chances of that by consciously exercising as opposed to hoping for the best. So many women have stress incontinence, and it won't cure a problematic case that needs more intervention, but it has for me.

Plus, increasing blood flow to the area also supports tissue regeneration.

I'm sure many people don't need to bother, but if you have any issues with leakage, drying up, not having such intense feelings in sex, then it works well to exercise the area. There's influencers who cover this, or devices, or just google how to do them properly, it takes time to rebuild your strength there.

You can use moisturiser or topical HRT as well, it's not an either/or situation!

Fernsarethebestplants · 29/09/2026 12:10

AsReadyAsIEverWillBe · 29/09/2026 11:59

Just tried to recommend some 'equipment' from LH to help those of you struggling with your big O's during peri/menopause. MN has hidden it so I must have used to many 'bad' words in my enthusiasm to describe it. Hopefully they unhide it because it really is a good 'toy' and my recommendation was quite serious despite the jokey post.

I am also reluctant to recommend the exact toy I use, but it's becoming pretty well known that you can get red light devices for your face, you can also get one for your nether regions, and I highly recommend it on multiple levels.

FeralFucker · 29/09/2026 12:12

Everyone is different, at 73 my fanny is the same as ever, never been offered HRT, my orgasms are a little more elusive though.

MurphysColeslaw · 29/09/2026 12:12

@Fernsarethebestplants What device did you buy for your pelvic floor exercises?

JinglingSpringbells · 29/09/2026 12:23

FeralFucker · 29/09/2026 12:12

Everyone is different, at 73 my fanny is the same as ever, never been offered HRT, my orgasms are a little more elusive though.

But no dr is going to offer you HRT unless you ask for it or see them about symptoms that may necessitate it.

I've used HRT and vaginal estrogen for years ( the latter for 20 years) and I just asked to try it.

Like many other women here I assumed I had thrush but clearly it wasn't.

JinglingSpringbells · 29/09/2026 12:27

LorenaWood · 29/09/2026 10:56

Does anyone use buscopan? Talking of oral sex someone asked about - I took some on holiday along with the vagirux pessaries and got them mixed up and my dh said are you ok down there it tastes weird 😂

they are identical!!!!!! The packets as well!

i thought at the time the applicator was broken as the tab didn't quite fit properly I had to force it in 🤦🏻‍♀️

I have used Buscopan but the tablets are round. I have not used vaginal pessaries but thought they were more oval/cylindrical in size? Not round.

Fernsarethebestplants · 29/09/2026 12:54

MurphysColeslaw · 29/09/2026 12:12

@Fernsarethebestplants What device did you buy for your pelvic floor exercises?

You can get one which is for Kegels, which I don't have, but it's inserted, you have an app on your phone, and you squeeze as per the game, it makes a little bird go up and down! You would surely get good at squeezing with that one!

I don't have that, I have one which is made by Issviva, which is expensive but worth every penny for me. It's not for Kegels though so much as improved tissue, lubrication, incontinence, it's a giant dildo but it works pretty well, see the TrustPilot reviews.

If you don't want to spend out, you can follow Insta/FB pelvic floor people, this lady is so funny and when she starts shouting 'on/off' thousands of women round the world start exercising their pelvic floor...

https://www.facebook.com/reel/1729778654710560

https://www.instagram.com/femalephysioco/

3.6K reactions · 93 comments | Its Sunday you know what that means Want more ➡️ subscribe for beginner, intermediate and advanced workouts. Disclaimer: always see a Women’s health physio before doing these. These are not recommended for everyone. #...

Its Sunday you know what that means Want more ➡️ subscribe for beginner, intermediate and advanced workouts. Disclaimer: always see a Women’s health physio before doing these. These are not...

https://www.facebook.com/reel/1729778654710560

Hogglehedge · 29/09/2026 13:06

This thread has really helped me today, been going through hell with my fiery fanjo its getting sorted thank you ladies xx some of the comments too made me smile hehe

Fernsarethebestplants · 29/09/2026 13:09

It's a shame we can't pin this thread. I feel like every woman needs to know this stuff!

Hogglehedge · 29/09/2026 13:10

Another question will topical estrogen affect endo as thats one of the issues I have, and could it cause migraines? I have ocular migraines (very rarely once in a blue moon ones) do any of you use the gel with these issues?

UnaPersson · 29/09/2026 13:11

JinglingSpringbells · 29/09/2026 08:05

Ideally you need the cream to use externally and pessaries work in the vagina..

Yep, I'm 62 and have needed both for the past 10 years. At first I had to argue with the GP to get both, which was stressful but they just give me it now.

There's a mega-thread on Menopausematters.co.uk entitled 'The Burning Club' with lots of women sharing tips for what helps.

I do find the estriol cream stings so mix it with Olive & Bee cream which helps.

Autumnallaround · 29/09/2026 13:37

Fernsarethebestplants · 29/09/2026 12:54

You can get one which is for Kegels, which I don't have, but it's inserted, you have an app on your phone, and you squeeze as per the game, it makes a little bird go up and down! You would surely get good at squeezing with that one!

I don't have that, I have one which is made by Issviva, which is expensive but worth every penny for me. It's not for Kegels though so much as improved tissue, lubrication, incontinence, it's a giant dildo but it works pretty well, see the TrustPilot reviews.

If you don't want to spend out, you can follow Insta/FB pelvic floor people, this lady is so funny and when she starts shouting 'on/off' thousands of women round the world start exercising their pelvic floor...

https://www.facebook.com/reel/1729778654710560

https://www.instagram.com/femalephysioco/

That's also who I follow on fb/Insta.

I cannot BEAR that Scottish 'comedian' or the fecking 'squeezy' app. Euuugh.

But the Australian lady? Yep works for me.!

Tarkan · 29/09/2026 13:39

I’ve just been for my eye test and found out today that it’s not just your bits that dry up thanks to menopause and HRT. I’ve been given a leaflet about blepharitis and instructions on different things to use to keep my eyes moist and free of irritation. The joys.

Constantrunner · 29/09/2026 13:48

Everything dries up. Your ears too so I need to use olive oil to help the wax come out.

UnaPersson · 29/09/2026 14:01

Tarkan · 29/09/2026 13:39

I’ve just been for my eye test and found out today that it’s not just your bits that dry up thanks to menopause and HRT. I’ve been given a leaflet about blepharitis and instructions on different things to use to keep my eyes moist and free of irritation. The joys.

My husband has drops for dry eyes now. At least this isn't just women.

LorenaWood · 29/09/2026 14:08

JinglingSpringbells · 29/09/2026 12:27

I have used Buscopan but the tablets are round. I have not used vaginal pessaries but thought they were more oval/cylindrical in size? Not round.

They are definitely round and the packet is almost identical

LorenaWood · 29/09/2026 14:11

Here they are although I don't know why I've bothered 😂

Who knew your fanny shrivelled up and ran away when you hit mid 50s!?!
feelingflushed · 29/09/2026 14:11

I once confused magnesium gel with my intimate moisturiser. Ouch! Would not recommend.

LorenaWood · 29/09/2026 14:13

And the buscopan

Who knew your fanny shrivelled up and ran away when you hit mid 50s!?!
Tarkan · 29/09/2026 14:20

UnaPersson · 29/09/2026 14:01

My husband has drops for dry eyes now. At least this isn't just women.

True but my optician did say the HRT makes it happen more apparently. I’ve been shopping now so I’ll be moist in all the necessary places now at least. 🤣

Although sounds like I need to go back for stuff for ear wax soon too. 😫

LifeInAHamsterWheel · 29/09/2026 14:41

My MIL once brushed her teeth with Immac (hair removal cream) thinking it was toothpaste!