Do you really stop giving a f**k during peri/menopause?

[Melrobbinswannabe]

As per my title. I’m 45, and sick of living my life caring about what people think of me. I was a HUGE people pleaser, and have done some work on that but I still feel I let people hold some weird power over me, and care about what they think about me sooo much. I hate it.
I’ve read about women hitting a certain age, and poof, wake up and they DGAF.
Has this been true for anyone at all? I know I need to put work into it, but I’d so love to wake up one day and it’s happened overnight.
Or, any tips on how to stop caring about the opinions of others? I’ve been how I am since childhood, so it’s a lot to unlearn.
Thanks

I did. It’s marvellous!

Yup!

Some people report less worry, other people report increased anxiety!

I'm reaching that stage at 55 after a somewhat rocky peri.
It's not IDGAF in a hateful way, more "I accept myself as I am and your opinion doesn't have any bearing on that".

Yup. Although the mop up chemo I'm on for bowel cancer helps. Cancer gone.

It’s a true story. It’s crazy and wonderful. The only good things about peri!

I started saying no to parties & things I just didn't want to go to without coming up with elaborate explanations or feeling like I should go. It's a relief.

I've also left all contact with DHs family to go through him & I do mine. I don't see why it should be my responsibility to do both.

I do still people please in many other ways though & get stressed. Menopause has just created me a different set of problems.

No, the opposite for me. Never worried much about my appearance or other peoples input, and now paralysed by it..

It annoys me that men get to be full experienced adults who start making Tough Decisions in their 40s but women are just basketcases beholden to their lady hormones

According to society anyway

Maybe you just grew up

Absolutely. It is completely liberating after a lifetime of being a bit of a martyr and putting myself last to keep everyone happy.

IDGAF

@ladymalfoy im really glad the cancer has gone x

Oh it’s wonderful. My husband and kids still bring me all their problems to solve and instead of jumping up to fix them i
just respond with “oh, that sounds rough”

my field of fucks is genuinely barren. And my boundaries? My boundaries are utterly immovable.

my boss gave me a truly shiity eoy review last year. Did I take it? I fucking did not! I gave back as good as I got the raised a grievance against the cunt! It was upheld! The twat has left the organisation.

Mine started in my 30s, having kids and family members dying really helped.

happily, I stopped giving a fuck long before that

A little (so far).
There's some interesting neuroscience behind it:

www.facebook.com/share/1b7MAH76Em/

Yes and it's amazing. If feels like a super power.

Although my mother in particular is finding the new me difficult to come to terms with. She can't manage me or manipulate me any more. Ha!

@Melrobbinswannabe me too! I Ripley'd the shit out of it ,now I'm doing the same with the mop up. 6 weeks to go!

At 59 I DGAF apart from family. Getting better at family too. It’s freeing. Ive also retired, stopped dying my hair and feel I’ve never looked better!

I'm 39 and already giving a lot less fucks. It's wierd, I feel sort of more detached from what other people do or say. Things that I would previously dwell on for days are just passing thoughts that I can shrug off. It's great. I'm not convinced it's driven by hormones though.

Fewer fucks.

Thanks all! V interesting.
For me, I think I’ve done a lot of work on not giving a shit with people in general but it’s in work I panic over the opinions of the OM, or my boss, even though my boss hasn’t done a 121 or had any proper time with me in years! But I feel like I’m on egg shells and I let certain people make me feel like shite. I hate it. Just want to go in, feeling good, head held high and f what anyone thinks.

Yes and I hate it. The things I used to care about, my hobbies,I now don't care about at all.

Mine slowly crept in around 52 and I stopped doing all the gifts/cards for his side of the family. By 55 it had ramped up to zero laundry and throwing his crap/biscuit wrappers into a box on his "special " armchair. By 56 I asked for a divorce.

I feel truly liberated and so glad that my hormones turned me from Miss Scardy Mouse turned into Mrs Fuckyou Lion.

Edit - perhaps i should mention that he used to stand over me and shout. 40 fucking years of that and I finally found my voice.

Apologies 🙄