Anyone else just UTTERLY EFFING SICK of peri?

[RipeApples]

I know there are plenty of you cos i see your threads but my GOD I am so over this shite. Not only the symptoms in the first place but the apparent need to just play it by ear as though we can just afford mentally and physically to just bob along with sometimes debilitating symptoms. Oh you think you're peri? Let's wait and see how those symptoms play out. Oh you are peri, try this gel. Oh that's not worked, let's wait and see. Oh that's too high a dose, oh let's reduce it. Oh you don't seem to be able to do your job which you've been very successful in doing for the last 25 years? Oh your symptoms are back. oh oh fucking OH.

I'm obviously in a foul mood over it as i'm ranting but even on my 'good' days (around 4 a month honestly for the last year or so- been on HRT for 18 months) I'm still agog that this is something which, to varying degrees, women will experience and we're left at the hands of uneducated GPs, having to scrape money together if need to go private to get someone to listen and even THEN the whole regime is just seemingly pot fucking luck.

I really hope I'm one of those who eventually finds my magic combination of dose, brand and delivery method but there are so many variables, alongside the changing symptoms as we age, that I really can't see it ever happening. And then seeing the thread yesterday (?) about women who are still not post menopause in their mid and even late 50s put the fear of God in me. I'm 46, around 3 years into Peri - How do you just accept you've got to suck it up? I'm so angry about the whole thing on top of being angry cos i'm permanently seemingly pre menstural. There's not even anyone i can complain to about it and that's winding me up too.

Rant over. If you've got this far, thanks for being on the receiving end. I do have friends of peri age but it seems they are all doing fine and aren't struggling like I am and if mention menopause at work, my colleagues visibly shrink away- and frankly my dh and dcs are sick of me going on about it and reading this thread back, I can see why;)

Found my place too, woke up in a pool of blood this morning, thank you peri-menopause the gift that just keeps on giving. I’m 49 was on Evorel patches but had to come off them as last 2 repeat prescriptions have been refused and getting an appointment with my GP is as rare as hen’s teeth. I just don’t have the energy.

I also have fibromyalgia and the combination of the 2 have just about sent me over the edge, I’m exhausted but can’t sleep, I’m so angry and irritable, I’ve put on over a stone, I ache all the time, really bad anxiety, don’t want to do anything anymore, eyesights gone, teeth are literally falling out, it’s like my body has given up.

I don’t know what to do

@sweetkitty

I've been awake since 4 am after waking up literally dripping in sweat again.

It's fucking relentless

I'm also bleeding heavily this month and the pain is excruciating so here's to another really full day at work on about four hours sleep ffs.

My mother always says how she sailed through it mainly but then I remind her she worked two days a week and didn't run her own business working over 50 hours a week,her kids were older and she could rest when she needed to.

I'm winding myself up knowing what a hell of a day I've got coming up and I'm shattered before I start

I was talking to someone at the work yesterday who is going through similar and it was so nice for 15 mins to just be open and honest about how shit it is. It's awful though that even in this day and age, I'd not feel comfortable being so open about it to my boss. He's lovely, but male. I'm one of these people who's intentionally open about having had post natal depression 3 times and also extreme anxiety (pre dating peri) and I have no shame about either but there's something about peri that It just doesn't feel appropriate.

I've sat in meetings feeling VERY ill with my symptoms, had whole days and weeks feeling ill from it and yet I just wouldn't raise it with my boss. I guess maybe because it still feels taboo and in any case, given it could go on for years, what do I say? "Oh hi boss I'm peri so I'll be a completely different person for an average of 7 years and no I don't know when it started so that could actually mean 1 more year or 7. Or longer. Oh and then even when I've not had a period for 12 months I might still be like this. Thanks"

@dothehokeycokey sorry but your post made me smile - the bit about your mum.

My peri has been shit. I've been in it for 9 years now and still experimenting with levels and types of progesterone and I'm getting REALLY fucking tired of it all. Was chatting to DM the other day (she's got dementia now) but she happened to ask about symptoms and I said what I'd experienced, to which she said 'i was lucky, i never suffered with anything'...no point now reminding her that she was like Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh at the time. Depressed, tired, exhausted, dry skin, moody, emotional, snappy. 🙄But yeah she 'sailed through it' apparently...

I hope today isn't as bad as you're expecting it to be. Solidarity.

Can't stop crying. On HRT had enough of all this now

@Georgeismydog - I was like that. Husband thought I'd totally lost my mind and to be honest it felt like I had. HRT does help, I still have ups and downs but not to the total bleakness I felt when I just couldn't stop crying. I would also advise looking for support - this forum is great, and I also attended a couple of in-person meetings with a support group locally when I was at my lowest ebb and just being with other women who totally got it was brilliant. They operated like AA - totally confidential, not to be spoken about outside the group, you didn't let on if you recognised anyone else (I didn;t) and you could use a fake name.

Other things which help - a bit - mindfulness was good for me just to calm the brain down and stop it galloping away with worry, getting out in sunlight when possible, seeing friends.

take care.

I seem to be much luckier than most of you - I'm 56 this year, still not stopped bleeding but not had any debilitating symptoms so not on HRT. I've been on anti depressants for about 10 years and I suspect they may be helping with some of the worst mood swings but the lethargy, the permanent exhaustion, the poor sleep - those are what I would love to get rid of. Oh and the bleeding too - I've had periods for 45 years now, very heavy, very irregular and painful until I switched to a mooncup in 2012 (stopped the pain) then had a coil fitted in 2017 (made them regular and light/normal). I've had enough now.

CharityShopChic

On HRT, just been in a queue for the Dr's again but had to give up. Where did you find a local group?

Online, through facebook. Just a group of local women, not NHS-led.

@RipeApples I've not said much on your thread but the thing that struck me was the amount of Utrogestan you're using. 300mgs x 14 days? I'd feel terrible on that!

I know you're on 3 pumps of gel but unless it's giving you excessive bleeding you could be using 200mgs x 12 days (the 14 days is there as it's 'easier' to remember. The clinical minimum is 10 days per 28.)

The 300mgs is guidance- not mandatory.

There are many other options available off-licence.
For many years in peri I was on a 3-monthly cycle, where I used progesterone once in every 3 months (for 10/12 days.)

You can even get a tablet form of HRT that does this- it's Tridestra.

You can create the same long cycle with any combo of estrogen +progesterone. Tailor made cycles under a consultant can be anywhere from 4 to 12 weeks. They often like to suggest an annual scan if you're using longer cycles.

If you're paying anyway for the Newson clinic, you could possibly be getting a more tailored regime from them or another private consultant.

I don't know what they've said about your long term use of ADs but Louise Newson herself is quite anti them and says they can make things worse in peri.

Thank you so much @JinglingSpringbells I'm due for a review at newson next Monday so I'm going to raise it. I was put on the 3 because 2 utrogestan wasn't controlling my cycle (it remained every 3 weeks). But it sounds like there might be other options.

I'm just comparing what you've been on and the issues you've had with my own treatment, with one of the best menopause specialists in the UK.

There are a lot of options for women who are intolerant to progesterone(s). I'm just guessing that your low mood is linked to the dose you're on - I would struggle with that and I'm not especially intolerant.

These are all off-licence and usually come with the agreement that you'll have a scan. (The BMS actually talks about a scan every 3rd month but that's never been my experience and the NHS won't offer that I'm pretty sure.)

This is my personal take on it but you may know that Newson came in for a lot of public criticism for under-dosing on progesterone with high doses of estrogen. So perhaps now they are playing safe.

TBH if you were having a bleed every 3rd week and it was regular, and no spotting in between, why is that an issue? Were you ever scanned ? I'd assume they would do a scan at the end of a cycle (when lining is thinnest) to check there was no underlying cause for an early bleed (eg a thick lining that wasn't shedding completely.)

If you're not happy with what they are doing, could you go elsewhere, privately?

@Projectme

Thank you my day wasn't too bad but energy levels are still so shot and still bleeding so I think that will be why
Also it's shitty January and the weather is so dull.
In desperate need of sunshine ☀️

I did wake up later than I wanted to because I woke up early doors with the night sweats so this morning was a manic rush which I hate but luckily my day was full of chilled people thank god

Had an interesting convo with dh when I got in and he asked if I was ok as didn't seem my usual
Bunny self

Reminded him I was on and had the night sweats and overslept and that we may be in for a bumpy ride due to hormones to which he replied.

Don't worry babe I'm ready for it and pointed at his man shed

Your DH sounds like mine!! 😁

Glad your day wasn't too bad.

I've found magnesium helps with sleep. I use nutrigeek ones. I sleep the sleep of the dead now 😆 even with a hot sweat, I stir, bleary eyed, acknowledge I'm sweating, have a gulp of water and bang, straight off to sleep again.

@Projectme
I've started taking a magnesium powder and I bought magnesium butter to run into my skin when I get into bed but nine times out of ten the bloody damn brain fogs kicked in by then and I totally forget

So I'm having a collagen powder in the morning alongside a scoop of turmeric honey with vit c and d ,I have my normal meds for my Graves' disease at tea time and I've also chucked in some menopace plus which is two giant capsules again when I remember so I feel like I'm winning if I actually do manage to remember them all aswell as the magnesium

@dothehokeycokey I have ended up buying a medicine box to help me remember which supplements to take! As I am on cyclical progesterone I also have an app which tells me when to take those. I think I may rattle! Unfortunately I still am not sleeping well - particularly on the. On progesterone days.

Another one found her place here

I've navigating Grave's plus peri. I've recently started HRT and am hoping that gives me a break from the utter exhaustion. I've lost my zest for life and am operating on about 10% of the old me. That would be fine if I didn't have another 25 years of work ahead of me and children to care for (although peri seems to have taken my maternal feelings with it)

Completely fed up with the menopause

Anyone else get pounding and i mean thumping headaches when they've move head i have a full tension type headache all the time which i can cope with but the thumping pain when I move head too much is so painful and the nausea oh the nausea. Not sure if it's peri related but just wondering if anyone else has/has had this

@Mackemlass79 I don't have headaches that painful but before peri I never had cycle related headaches I very much do. The nausea though, is a killer. Apart from low mood / anxiety, the nausea is by far my most debilitating symptom.

@banabak
I too have graves so that in itself is an asshole a lot of the time.

Then throw in the random peri symptoms and I don't know my ass from my elbow and the exhaustion at present is bad.

Not helped by the weather as I'm a real sufferer of sad without a doubt

I'm rattling from all the things I'm taking in the hope I may feel vaguely human

currenly on day 38 of cycle and not sure what to do.....did 2 pregnancy tests 2 days ago and both very definitely negative but I've never gone this long before. Had all the signs of getting my period - backache, stomach cramps / bloating feeling but no bleed. I changed HRT just over 3 months ago so don't know if this could be causing it if the dose isn't right, or is it just my body being yet more of a dick??

I recently went 84 days without a bleed and thought that was it but nope, had two bleeds since, thankfully light but lasted a week each. Luckily not having symptoms apart from lethargy, poor concentration levels and interrupted sleep.

I've had these since I was a teenager. Always around ovulation and then just before my period.

I've had mirena since October and I've only had about 3 headaches since then. It's been amazing

I m just logging this here. I ll be 46 shortly.

I had no period from may to Oct 2024 - then Oct my period went on for about 4 days, not v heavy but I discharged some old blood towards the end.

Nov, 4 week later, another period, at the start it was slow to release and eventually released almost like a stream of old blood followed by one or two normal days. Not particularly heavy.

Dec about 5 weeks later, extreme pms, followed by a light to normal period.

Then a 7 week gap, followed by extreme pms on Monday last. On Tuesday when I wiped there was a slight pink discharge. I though Ah, here is the period again, but no, there has been nothing other than a very slight pink mucus discharge when wiping for the last few days, almost nothing.

I m as dehydrated as a crisp. I feel that sense of relief once the period is over, I feel it's finished.

I also suspect that, that is it, I m not producing a lining any more. I m hitting it final stage menopause. I ll be 46 in April.

I m getting hot flushes most nights, but it doesn't bother me too much. I feel OK, but dry and I have gained some weight, but I don't really care. My sex drive has dipped, single and I don't care. Overall if this is it, it's been OK.

Who knows what the future holds.