Anyone else just UTTERLY EFFING SICK of peri?

[RipeApples]

I know there are plenty of you cos i see your threads but my GOD I am so over this shite. Not only the symptoms in the first place but the apparent need to just play it by ear as though we can just afford mentally and physically to just bob along with sometimes debilitating symptoms. Oh you think you're peri? Let's wait and see how those symptoms play out. Oh you are peri, try this gel. Oh that's not worked, let's wait and see. Oh that's too high a dose, oh let's reduce it. Oh you don't seem to be able to do your job which you've been very successful in doing for the last 25 years? Oh your symptoms are back. oh oh fucking OH.

I'm obviously in a foul mood over it as i'm ranting but even on my 'good' days (around 4 a month honestly for the last year or so- been on HRT for 18 months) I'm still agog that this is something which, to varying degrees, women will experience and we're left at the hands of uneducated GPs, having to scrape money together if need to go private to get someone to listen and even THEN the whole regime is just seemingly pot fucking luck.

I really hope I'm one of those who eventually finds my magic combination of dose, brand and delivery method but there are so many variables, alongside the changing symptoms as we age, that I really can't see it ever happening. And then seeing the thread yesterday (?) about women who are still not post menopause in their mid and even late 50s put the fear of God in me. I'm 46, around 3 years into Peri - How do you just accept you've got to suck it up? I'm so angry about the whole thing on top of being angry cos i'm permanently seemingly pre menstural. There's not even anyone i can complain to about it and that's winding me up too.

Rant over. If you've got this far, thanks for being on the receiving end. I do have friends of peri age but it seems they are all doing fine and aren't struggling like I am and if mention menopause at work, my colleagues visibly shrink away- and frankly my dh and dcs are sick of me going on about it and reading this thread back, I can see why;)

Shit isn't it? I did eventually book an appointment to see a private GP who specialises in menopause and she was so good, probably just because she had 45 minutes to go through everything and not just 10 minutes to deal with me. It is just as well I am a stubborn old boot who is assertive enough to stand her ground.

I also don't understand why they weren't happier to just prescribe patches/gel to start with - as I have had a hysterectomy I am only on oestrogen not progesterone which is very low risk and I have no history of anything which raises issues. And patches are cheap. Who knows, it's a combination of lack of education and lack of interest in women's health. I asked at reception whether there was a menopause clinic and the receptionist looked at me as if I had two heads. Even though they have a diabetes clinic, asthma clinic, continence clinic, child health clinic....

Best service ever was from the nurse who saw me just before Christmas for my HRT review. Similar age to me, similar issues. She got it. However, talking to her raised my blood pressure so much that I had to go away and do some deep breathing to bring it back down to an acceptable level.

Bloody hell notnorman that sounds scary. I'm yet to understand if there is any part of our physiology that isn't affected. I hope you are managing as well as can be

I think that's it, @RipeApples . Before I had my hysterectomy I thought that menopause was a few hot flushes and that was it, then back to normal. I had no idea that the anxiety which hit me like a train was peri-menopause, or the itching, repeated UTIs, insomnia, aching joints... I do think general levels of knowledge in the public about potential symptoms has got a lot better in the last 5 years and a lot of that is down to celeb women like Davina McC, Mariella Frostrup, Kirsty Wark, Kelly Holmes, Penny Lancaster.

Now we just need that interest/knowledge to filter through to the GPs. I am in the position of being able to pay a private GP and source patches through a private pharmacy when they were out of stock everywhere on hte NHS. Not everyone is so fortunate and that is unfair.

Thank you. It's also linked to migraine and fibromyalgia. I'm scared to leave the house in this weather. Am 48. It's awful to be honest. Trying to minimise it for dh and kids sake but so scared. X

Over the past year I have probably had more input from and visits to the doctor than at any other point in my life. The brain fog and my previous employers have absolutely shattered my self confidence in doing my job, was resulting in incredibly strange and worrying symptoms where even the doctor was advising me to change jobs. I now have a new employer but I cannot imagine continuing doing what I'm doing (same as previous job) long-term feeling like I do and am looking at other jobs that I feel that I would enjoy and could be successful at but are pretty much minimum wage, so a big hit to my finances. It's a big decision and one I am struggling to make.

skooled that sounds tough. What are the symptoms that driving the whole thing? When it comes to work mine are brain fog, forgetting details and just not having the "zing" or the energy required to do all the meetings I have to do. Acting dynamic and like I give a shit is difficult. And then the nausea isn't helping. In my mind I think I can do 2 more years at this level (I'm relatively senior) and then I'm hoping our finances might make it possible to move down the scale and salary range. Not an option right now and I'm worried it never will be. No idea how I'd keep going like this.

@RipeApples brain fog where I can't remember the correct words for things. I know what I mean, but just can't remember the word that describes it. The job involves doing kind of mental jigsaw puzzles to determine how best to do something and I struggle to recognise the pieces that best fit together or even hold thoughts long enough to attempt to think at a deeper level on how to try and solve the puzzle and as you say there is about 1 week in the month where I feel this is not the case and I can think clearly.
I had an incident of amnesia that was the most worrying.
I feel sad because I genuinely don't know whether moving to a completely different role will make things better and if it doesn't, then I will have thrown away a higher paying career for nothing.

skooled I'm kind of in the same position only that I can't really leave my job right now for one which pays any less but I did consider it not long before Christmas on the basis that we'd have to just scrape by. On balance I went with better the devil you know. I'm not convinced I'm strong mentally enough at the moment for the move to another company, the whole having to establish yourself and make an impression etc and honestly even if I took the leap I couldn't be certain it would be a good impression I'd be making. I feel trapped. As I've said to others on the thread, I'm honestly so reassured that someone else feels this but I'm sorry that you are because I wouldn't wish this pile of shite on my worst enemy!

@RipeApples I wouldn't have chosen to move to another company either and is probably not helping matters for me either!
Good luck with it,.I have no idea what to do either and you are not on your own in feeling the way you do.
I would like to know if things do get better in menopause from people who have struggled with peri to at least give hope that I might feel like me again

Our hormones are all over the place so it's difficult to get an accurate result with the tests. It's fine if you're older as they go on symptoms. It fking sucks that people who go through it at a younger age are often ignored by everyone.

Nope, I'm UTTERLY EFFING SICK OF POST Meno!

Also dried out like a prune, inside of nose, down below, lips, ears, non libido, aches, pains, shite sleep, anxiety and the list goes on.

No HRT for me; got metastic breast cancer. To top it all, I've just been diagnosed with sarcoma no.2, in the space of 10 months!

WTAF is the point? 🙈

That sounds very hard enigma52, I'm so sorry you've been and are still going through all that post meno. You know it was one of the reasons I started the thread because of my own gradual realisation that this shit doesn't just stop when the periods do. It seems it can be as equally as difficult to navigate with sub par knowledge from GPs as to what women need in that time of our lives.

@RipeApples I know. There's still this weird misconception that post menopause equates to no periods, maybe a hot flush or two and a whole new liberating life! Great for those who are lucky enough to experience this; tough cookies to those who continue to experience the other shit.

Some GP attitudes towards menopause, are just disgraceful, with little or no knowledge of how to help women at this ( frankly) horrific tone of life.

Can I also check in to ask you all - the hairy peach fuzz I keep having to plane off my jaw and lower neck - is this hormone/peri related - do you all now have it or is it because I use regaine on my hair - not sure which? Thanks x

You are totally amazing and I think you deserve a medal tbh 🥰

Post meno here. I did start peri at around 40ish but never realised! My cancer onc wouldn't believe me when I said I was obviously post meno at 52 as I hadnhad a period since I was around 47ish. But the male Drs don't get why you can't remember when your last period was. I mean, you don't know its your last one, you don't hold a party and they've been intermittent for a while. He told me I'd need a blood test to confirm. The BC nurses were rolling their eyes behind his back and I ignored him! The anxiet is the biggest thing for me and I really don't know what to do about it. The freedom of no more periods is fab. I can't take HRT cos of the breast cancer. I did find that you can stave off a hot flush with a bit of deep breathing.
It is all a bit shit really.

A lot of people here are mentioning anxiety. For me this is by FAR the worst part of peri. I've been to some incredibly dark places as a result and I really and truly don't think I would cope knowing this is just going to be how it goes now.

I'm interested in what does your peri (or post) anxiety look like to you? Mine is an all encompassing dread which has twice now left me bed bound, almost mute one of those times and on diazipam both times. Unable to work for 2-3 weeks.

Those episodes were pre HRT but I still get it, i think I'm just better able to cope with it. I can make myself function even though my mind is screaming.

Does this resonate at all with anyone? Anxiety as extreme as this?

pippatpip re your anxiety, do you take any medication for it? I'm on citalopram but I've actually been on it for 20 years for pre existing depression and in any case it doesn't seem to have prevented me getting terrible peri related anxiety

Yes. Anxiety and depression were my first symptoms. I very rarely go out of the house and it's been like this for ten years.

youtookmyhandlle that is dreadful. I hope you are getting support

Shit isn't it. My mum says she just had to get on with it. No support, no help. Harder than being pregnant

Being pregnant is when the medical profession gives you everything it's got. Once you are on your last eggs, you are no longer useful so much less interest and support.

I just got fined £60 for not realising testosterone isn't covered under the NHS menopause prescription certificate. (Which in turn is because it's not licensed for women). Funnily enough I'm not taking it because I fancied becoming a bodybuilder.

Small fry when compared with what a lot of ladies here are going through but it's just more evidence of the patriarchy.

OGCCL I completely agree. I got particularly wound up around the time I was seeking to prescribed testosterone seeing so many ads for viagra which men can get so freely because God forbid they'd have to suffer any issues with getting a hard on. I was there with absolutely no libido, and having to make a case for it and having to follow a sequence of estrogen pump increases over about 6 months before the private doc would even give it to me. This would categorically not be happening if it was men going through this.

Oh god it’s awful isn’t it? I went on hrt some year back but then had blood tests that showed I had too high a level of oestrogen but that my iron was very low. So I figured the symptoms I was having were probably related to low iron rather than peri. I’ve been on iron tablets for the last year and it’s coming up but I still feel shit. No sweats, I sleep ok most of the time but after 9 hours of sleep I wake up tired. I’d love to wake up raring to go and hop out of bed but I feel shitty and tired and unmotivated all the time. All I want to do is sit here and read books and watch films. I’m behind with work (self employed). I could do so much more. It’s a life half lived.

I keep thinking I just need hang on for a few years and then I’ll be myself again but what if I’m not? What if this is it?

Im back on patches and taking progesterone vaginally, I was a monster on the progesterone ( or was that I could t tolerate my DP).

I did try ashwaganda. Felt it did something. Expensive though but will try again. Should also look at other supplements, but there are so many.

I feel exactly the same, I’m 43 & have been in peri for a few years now & 6 months ago I fell off a cliff health wise, in parallel to my cycles becoming 45 days average. Currently on day 44 & no sign. I have all the symptoms and won’t list them as we all know them too well. I tried hrt and it had a really bad effect, gave me panic attacks and made my migraines worse and flared up my endometriosis. I’m taking vit d, omega 3, turmeric, iron & magnesium but still feel like I’m existing in a body that doesn’t belong to me.

I keep hoping there might be light at the end of all this and things will stabilise and I’ll feel better in myself. But read that even after periods stop it all continues. I understand that oestrogen completely plummets and we never get it back, but why do some women also say they feel better once they are thru the other side?

Id like a word with whatever designed the female body!!!! They can have it back!

This thread is really helping me, thank you & love to everyone xx