Anyone else just UTTERLY EFFING SICK of peri?

[RipeApples]

I know there are plenty of you cos i see your threads but my GOD I am so over this shite. Not only the symptoms in the first place but the apparent need to just play it by ear as though we can just afford mentally and physically to just bob along with sometimes debilitating symptoms. Oh you think you're peri? Let's wait and see how those symptoms play out. Oh you are peri, try this gel. Oh that's not worked, let's wait and see. Oh that's too high a dose, oh let's reduce it. Oh you don't seem to be able to do your job which you've been very successful in doing for the last 25 years? Oh your symptoms are back. oh oh fucking OH.

I'm obviously in a foul mood over it as i'm ranting but even on my 'good' days (around 4 a month honestly for the last year or so- been on HRT for 18 months) I'm still agog that this is something which, to varying degrees, women will experience and we're left at the hands of uneducated GPs, having to scrape money together if need to go private to get someone to listen and even THEN the whole regime is just seemingly pot fucking luck.

I really hope I'm one of those who eventually finds my magic combination of dose, brand and delivery method but there are so many variables, alongside the changing symptoms as we age, that I really can't see it ever happening. And then seeing the thread yesterday (?) about women who are still not post menopause in their mid and even late 50s put the fear of God in me. I'm 46, around 3 years into Peri - How do you just accept you've got to suck it up? I'm so angry about the whole thing on top of being angry cos i'm permanently seemingly pre menstural. There's not even anyone i can complain to about it and that's winding me up too.

Rant over. If you've got this far, thanks for being on the receiving end. I do have friends of peri age but it seems they are all doing fine and aren't struggling like I am and if mention menopause at work, my colleagues visibly shrink away- and frankly my dh and dcs are sick of me going on about it and reading this thread back, I can see why;)

@lorisparkle that sounds awful. Are you on medication for the anxiety as well as the hrt? I've not found my anxiety medication much good to be honest. Have you tried alternative medicine? I've been looking at acupuncture and might give it a go this year. I'll do anything at this point!

Have you thought about therapy @lorisparkle ?

You might find talking to a therapist you deals with anxiety and imposter syndrome more helpful than taking drugs, or see a CBT practitioner. It's helpful to reframe your thoughts , learn to control them and change how you think. This is possible! It's like learning to do anything- taking back control rather than allowing negative thoughts to control you.
GPs are supposed to offer CBT before meds but seems they rarely do.

@JinglingSpringbells I was assessed by our nhs counselling service who decided I needed more intensive therapy than CBT - waiting list of 22 weeks. Spoke to our private healthcare provider (a mini cheap version not BUPA) and they say I am too severe for the service they provide. My workplace has a service and I am starting that on Monday.

Hope it helps.

You could always use a private CBT practitioner too if you can afford it.

Things perimenopause has given me:

Eczema
Gluten intolerance
Caffeine sensitivity
Sciatica
Retinal migraines
Dry skin
Brain fog
Serious memory loss, if it's not written down it's forgotten in seconds
Anxiety
Itchy, prickly, burning skin when walking. My inner thighs and hips feel like they are on fire
Palpitations

Things perimenopause has taken from me

My patience
My give a damns
Energy

The only small silver lining is that after 40+ years as a people pleaser I have finally learned how to say no, and I make use of this often. No to everyone and everything. I've finally started putting myself first and not giving a shit if that angers people or makes them think bad of me. Fuck 'em.

I'm in the club that none of us want to be in 🙄.

Aged 55, still peri with regular periods - who knew I'd finally find something that I was above average at 🙄

I've been struggling since 2016 with fatigue, anxiety and the whole range of symptoms you are all familiar with.

HRT helps but I had 7 glorious weeks where it was fantastic and I gave a shit about the world and had energy and then it all dropped back but now I know what I've lost.

I'm just had to raise at work that I don't think I can continue to do my high level management job, I can't cope, I'm making myself more unwell by refusing to go off sick as that feels like failure. I can't support my team so feel I'm failing anyway which makes the anxiety worse.... rinse and fecking repeat.

It's really shitty and I feel for anyone going through it

Great to have an honest thread @RipeApples thank you to the pp who made me laugh out loud with
I feel like a fucking crisp
🤣 so true, wish I couldn’t relate!

I came off HRT too, like a pp mentioned I also had this incredible time at the start when you get to enjoy some of your old self, then a cycle or two in it starts to unravel for some of us, private clinic helped initially with this and you try all different ways with hope that’s something will click and make you look and feel like others we see in the media. It’s a vicious ‘itchy, angry, exhausting, dryAF, weight-gaining, brain fog, digestion issues’ circle and there are days where only threads like this can make you smile and reassure you that you’re not the only one😫
Hope you can find a way forward that works for you @RipeApples

@StillCreatingAName - solidarity is the name of the game! I feel so much better knowing I'm not alone.

Do you mind me asking how you are now you're off the HRT? Is it a case of accepting old symptoms being back but that being better than the side effects of HRT?

Everyone is different, obviously, but others that I know who came off HRT (for same reasons- Progesterone intolerance) all say the same, you do feel better, so you know you should have come off it, but when your symptoms resurface and your cycle- of sorts- resumes kicking your ass every month, you can feel a bit hopeless and lost again.

I thought I had bad symptoms at the start of my 40s, so went on HRT, but symptoms were actually mild in comparison to now when it feels like it’s really hammering me cyclically and I long for the day my periods stop so I can no longer have these feelings of blahhhh, grrrr, barf, frrrrrrr, mehhhhh, tears, itching, wanting to run for the hills, but not literally run because I physically feel and look about 90 on the bad days. I’ve tried a few of the other methods- staying hydrated and not drinking alcohol or coffee, had some decent sleep but more often than not I still have those 230/3am wake ups, I’ve taken appropriate supplements and hopped three times whilst wearing a gold slipper that belongs to a unicorn- just whatever we’re being encouraged to try as an alternative to HRT, I’ll try anything!

On a positive note though, it’s still better than how I felt on HRT, so that’s how I know it was right to come off it. Even if you have access to a great GP or private clinic, trust your own instincts about what’s best for you.

@StillCreatingAName thanks for the info. Very interesting. I'm seriously considering doing the same but now worrying about withdrawal symptoms! My life seems to have become very centered around symptoms

I'm now waking up in the mornings with a totally stiff and numb hand.

Low carbing
Taking collagen & other supplements
Exercise everyday
All seem to help.

I agree about the symptoms returning. But if I just feel horrendous on HRT in a different way, then I figure I'll try to manage them for now.

I can always try it again later at a very low dose if things get too awful.

I had a pretty useless (female, 40ish GP) who gave me anti-depressants for a depression I said I didn't feel (just weird), never once asking me about peri symptoms, but I finally got an HRT prescription out of her after she palmed me off with anti-depressants for a year, for a 'depression' I didn't even have! I see an NHS Meno Specialist Nurse annually; the last meeting she said that 'the jury is out as to whether anxiety is a symptom of menopause'. 😑so she's no bloody better.

I'm coming up 55 and due to have my coil removed so taking progesterone tablet to make up for the loss of progesterone from the coil but as the OP says it's just the same old 'give it a few months and lets see if it works ok'. And what if it doesn't?! How long will it take to find an alternative method that works for me? Another 3 months/6 months/12 months?! And what am i supposed to do in the meantime? Just suck it all up and 'manage' and be grateful that I have options.

I started peri at 46 and I'd like to think I'm nearing the end however new 'things' keep happening...the 'weetabix' dry skin everywhere (sorry but that did make me really laugh), the tinnitus, the frozen shoulder, the arthritis pain, the insomnia, the intolerance to alcohol, developing sensitivities to certain foods/drinks, the dry eyes, the inability to hold a conversation, memory issues, 4 stone weight gain, imposter syndrome...these have all occurred during the last 9 years and I am on HRT. Plus the stress of kids at Uni and elderly parents. FFS. I'm just exhausted with it all. I am absolutely DONE!

I don’t live in the UK and the medical profession here is a blanket no to HRT before 51yo (exceptions for extreme circs). I refused to go back on the pill after my last pregnancy, fed up of the onus always being on me. Told DH to get the snip (which, of course, he hasn’t). Fast forward a decade and I’m in full-blown peri, all the things on this thread. Gynecologist put me on the mini-pill. Within 3 months I was back to my 30yo self and have been stable ever since. No mood swings, no dry skin, no depression, no fear of heights or high speeds, sleeping well and without interruption, healthier hair and nails, weight gain slowed down, generally energetic, no night sweats. It’s been amazing. Just a stable and predictable level of hormones every day to stabilize my body. It’s been amazing.

That makes sense and is very interesting actually 🧐 thanks for sharing x

Peri fucking menopause can do one, all I can say is hang on in there lovely ladies, that's what I keep telling myself!!!

I'm 48 this year, and bit by bit new symptoms start to appear, first the I'm actually going mental, to I'm going to die, to proper breakdown sobbing to anything and in denial that my ovaries have said fuck this were outta here, but we will leave you with some shitty aftermath like the classic guess when your gonna get a period, and heavy or short, or light and long, or how about two periods in a month!!

Dry everything, tchy skin, eyesight shot, joints hurt, acid reflux,hair falling out, headaches, hurty boobs, memory loss, palpitations, night sweats, anxiety city.

It's sucks, it's shyte and I don't like it no I don't really want HRT to cope with what should be this natural transition but if needs must!!!

Why did my mum god rest her soul not tell me about this baptism of fuckin fire, oh I'm just going through the change she used to say!!! what the actual????

So I've done my own survey, I have a few friends and sister in laws in the same sinking ship, only one of them (10%) has no symptoms the others (90%) are the same as me, thank god makes me feel a wee bit better. 😂😂😂😭😭😭😔😔🙄(hormones)

I have found my people. Currently in what I feel is peri hell but with an almost clockwork cycle still just typical! My only period change is heavier and slightly shorter but everything else is hideous drenching night sweats, very thin hair, almost constant headaches are quite new, waking at 2-3am without fail plus many many more who would be a woman eh ladies?!?

This. Every single day. THIS

@Projectme why aren't you having another mirena fitted? Hell would freeze over before I took utrogestan again, but the coil has been magnificent for me.

I am calm, no tears. Still very tired but nothing like the utrogestan hangover each day.

I imagined I'd be able to have a coil for another 20yrs?

@RipeApples my meno anxiety manifested as endless crying. I just couldn't cope with my DH, with the house, with feeling endless hopelessness. It was compounded by utrogestan.

I spent whole winter afternoons 'walking the dogs' and sobbing without stopping. Hours of weekends disappeared in tears. Id cry driving to work, in my lunch hour. I was exactly the same taking the Pill in my 20s but it took a couple of cycles to realise what it was.

In general now I'm on Everol 100, mirena and testogel plus estriol cream, I'm a million times better! Still have ups and downs and still have a cycle and get a period most months and I still bleed despite the mirena.

So much on this thread resonates. I just want the bleeding to STOP.

I am allergic to every HRT type. I have agonising pains in the ovaries. Indigestion. Nausea. Insomnia when even a tiny bit stressed.

It can all get in the bin.

Anyone else have nosebleeds?

But I meant to say, I still Hve horrendous brain fog. It's awful. And night sweats a couple of times a week.

And I can think my way to a hot flush which is weird!

Also I've had nightmares every night since I had to take extra progesterone on top of my normal cycle. No one tells you that you lose your lovely nourishing happy dreams that you get after your period starts.

I haven't woken up feeling refreshed in several years!

Oh yes, I just upped progesterone and have had anxiety dreams. I hadn't connected those!

I always had awful dreams the week before my period started, then incredibly restful ones once I had my period. Now I don't get the respite.

@Piggywaspushed - yes I get nosebleeds!

Oh hello fellow traveller! I have been so dismissed about this!