Left the job I love due to the menopause :(

[Greaselightening]

I can't believe it. I've left a job I love due to crippling anxiety from the the menopause. I feel so empty inside 😞

Thank you. The nurse at my surgery does all the HRT and has been very good so far. She suggested the gel to see if absorbed it better than the patches, as she felt that could be the issue and to try the gel before getting another blood test to check levels.

it is indeed a whole bunch of things that have come to a head at a simile time, on top of my peri anxiety increasing.

I really thought the new job was a good move, and in some ways it is. It’s whether the work itself is a right fit. It’s Business Admin and the work is varied and I feel like I’m helping people due to the nature of the business. Just not sure if being part of such a small team is right and if I just need to be in a different industry.

think full time is a bit overwhelming what with everything else and thought a higher paying job would good. This was probably a mistake and I should have looked for a job that paid similar to my 2 part time ones and once adjusted to full time look at higher paying jobs.

spent a lot of this year thinking a new job will solve anxiety but realising now that the old jobs were only part of the problem.

I took 50 mg daily - the lowest dose. No major side effects and i still do get a bit of PMT the day before but I am no longer losing my mind two weeks a month. It is not a miracle but I am myself if that makes sense

Thank you runningpram.

I have now heard that my dad is coming Xmas day, but my anxiety is still sky high. Hardly slept last night.

not sure what is for the best.

have been wondering if I look for a part time job and do that for 6 months or so to get my anxiety/peri under control and look at talking therapy.

will have been in my new FT job for 3 months when we return to work after new year which doesn’t seem long at all and I hate failing at anything. Need the money so not sure if a part time job will be enough although it may be if it was 25-30 hours a week or even 20 with opportunity of extra hours.

i feel like I am making myself ill.

only at work 3 days this week and have my HRT appt on Friday so will see how this week pans out, and if by weekend I’m still the same I will have to talk to my husband about the job situation. He is aware that I am not sure about it.

Do you have time to do anything you enjoy outside of work?
From your posts, it seems you have no 'fun' time or down time. Do you do anything other than work and family?
You seem to be in a spiral where you're anxious about your anxiety.
Personally, I think you need to talk to someone. For example, what's making you anxious about your Dad and Xmas? Those sorts of thoughts need unpicking by talking aloud.

Blood tests are not accurate for estrogen levels. I know lots of drs or nurses do them but they are not helpful. I've never had a test for estrogen since I started HRT and my consultant is one of the top handful of meno consultants in the uk. The only way to get a true result is to take blood over 24 hours and even then it's not really accurate. The only way to assess estrogen is your symptoms, after 3 months on any dose.

Hope you make a decision over your work.

Thank you.

This afternoon was a bit better and I’m off for Xmas dinner with my running group tonight. Since I started my FT job I have not been able to meet and run with the group as it’s 9.30am on a Tuesday. I have been missing this group and being able to go out during the week and weekend on my own running. The weather has meant I’ve not been out at the weekend this weekend.

not finding the time for exercise really either apart from my Pilates class.

my husbands work is massively busy and it is difficult now that I am working full time and in an office that he has had to pick up stuff at home and with the kids.

his salary is 4 times mine so I do wonder if me working FT is sustainable even though the kids are 14.16 and 19 as still need to take the youngest 2 to things and be there.

I am still not convinced with my job but won’t make any rash decision.

I will be talking the nurse on Friday about talking therapy as I agree I need to talk to someone and learn how to address the anxiety as it is just getting out of control.

life is a whirlwind at the moment in our house and we need some form of stability to anchor and I guess I under estimated how much I did that previously.

ultimately it may mean I need a 25-30 hour job that is more flexible, which will mean a new job as my current one will not accommodate that. But 6 mths in the current job would help the cv though.

@Brightlights23 Reading your update I think you've got all the answers to help yourself - you just need the time to put them into action.
It's really great that you run and if you can change your hours to do that again it would be fantastic.
Maybe - and this isn't for me to say really- but if you can make some economies with your outgoings as a family, that will allow you to work p/t. sounds as if your H is on a good income so if you can drop a bit of yours you can manage.

Have you thought about finding a counsellor privately? The BACP lists them by area and many deal with anxiety. Is it worth having a look and booking one for yourself? I imagine the NHS referrals take months if they even exist at all.

The last 24 hours my anxiety has been unbearable. I even went to yoga last. I'm so fed up of this and to top it all my pelvic and leg pains are also really bad 😞😢

The last 24 hours my anxiety has been unbearable. I even went to yoga last. I'm so fed up of this and to top it all my pelvic and leg pains are also really bad 😞😢

Can anyone advise of jobs that can wfh? I am too knackered to travel to work as my sleep is terrible and struggling with menopause and thyroid issues....but I need to work?

Too young to retire and need to work...please help!

I used to have fairly high earning jobs but brain fog put paid to that....I lost confidence too...it's a mess...

Are you still seeing a specialists now- NHS or privately @Greaselightening ?

In no way do I want to contradict medical advice you've been given, but 2 pumps of gel is nothing really for someone with no ovaries. You're in surgical menopause which is far more brutal than going gradually through peri.

2 pumps is the default/ average amount for women. Many women like you with no ovaries are on 4 pumps. You can usually offset the side effects (if any) on your endo by increasing the dose of micronised progesterone from 100mgs a day to 200mgs or even 300mgs. This needs medical advice and ongoing monitoring.

Do you know where your 'remaining' endo is?

is anyone else getting this whole body internal shaking? I am unsure if it is anxiety or not, it feels very physical. It is helped a little with heat such as a bath, or slow deep breathing.

Something to do with he nervous system perhaps? I read this online which seems to link to menopause.

https://www.avogel.co.uk/health/menopause/videos/internal-trembling-vibrations-and-shaking-in-perimenopause-and-menopause/#:~:text=It%20can%20be%20caused%20by,the%20buzzing%2C%20and%20the%20shaking.

My whole body doesn't shake but sometimes I get flutters (like when I pregnant feeling movement) when I'm stressed

Ditto!
Just about managing to keep my TA job. Used to be a teacher in a former life. Now, cancer, anxiety and menopause are kicking me hard.

I've had enough. Also too young to retire. No idea what to do!

TA is quite hard for little pay, what about working in somewhere like a museum or quiet shop?

@Orangesandlemons77 yes, this will be my last year doing this job. I'm exhausted.

Thank you. I am still under the specialist. I would be worried about taking more than 100mg Progesterone as there isn't enough evidence re breast cancer.
They don't know where it is :( They just know my pain reacts to hrt/estrogen. I'm waiting to see an Endo specialist.

I was thinking the same re work. Maybe something customer service based?

The British Menopause Society has written a paper on the use of progesterone in HRT (I've left links to it here before) with higher doses of micronised progesterone.

They suggest 200mgs for women using high(er) doses of estrogen (usually 4 pumps.)

There is no link at the moment showing more risk in that paper, but there is evidence that using micronised progesterone for up to 5 years doesn't increase breast cancer risks.

Maybe talk to your specialist on this?

Can you have an MRI to look for where the endo is?

Thank you. I will look into it more.
The specialist is saying it is occult endo, as they are struggling to find, that's why I've been referred to a bsge soecial9st. It's all over the news today what a shit show gynae is currently 😢

@Greaselightening Have you never had a lap to look for endo in your pelvis?
There is an online endo support group that you might find helpful.

I did and they couldn't see anything.

Doesn't it all depend on where it is? If it's bladder or bowel or generally in your pelvis, won't that need an MRI? I think there may be a scale of expertise in this and maybe seeing an endo specialist will help.

Sorry to hear that you are struggling greaselightening.

I agree and sounds like you need an endo specialist for this. Can they refer you?

I have today and tomorrow off work - went back to bed after the kids went to school this morning, as I am just so shattered with my shocking sleep.

hoping the long weekend will help and I have the HRT appt tomorrow.

hoping come January that life slows down a bit and it’s just the usual festive madness that is making it so hectic, as don’t think I can keep this up long term.

off for a cuppa and then put my gel on and try to order Xmas stuff from the sofa!

The Endo specialist is absolutely your best bet when it comes to the HRT. I wouldn't take advice off a forum about dose increases etc.

Hey @Greaselightening - so sorry things are still so difficult. But this thread is definitely helping people, so you've done a great thing by starting it. Keeping my fingers tightly crossed for some answers for you.

I realised I forgot to come back and share my recent experience - I paid for a private GP consultation and it was ACE. She was so good - 50 minutes of good conversation culminating in her saying: "Textbook peri - none of this is your fault, I'm so sorry you had a bad experience of your GP saying that you are too young - here's what we are going to do..."

• She works for the NHS and moonlights privately - she checked my postcode and said: "You're in my catchment so join my surgery and I can treat you as an NHS patient from this point on!" (how lucky?!)
• She wants me to get the Mirena coil and once that is fitted she will give me gel - she doesn't start at a low dose, she starts in the middle so it then adjusts up or down - her belief is that starting too low takes too long to make an impact and people lose faith in the process
• (HORRIBLE BIT! WARNING!) Because I haven't had kids she wants me to take 42 days of the Gina pessary to make it easier to fit the coil and give it more chance of succeeding... hate the thought of the coil and have heard many horror stories, but she explained it all perfectly and she fits at least five a week in her evening surgery (also NHS) and no issues so far

Most importantly, I felt listened to, understood and she gave me some ideas for supplements that she takes herself to help me as we go through the process. So I'm all about the Lions Mane and Health and Her multivitamins now - as she says: "I understand the science, but even if it's a placebo effect, it works!"

Totally wonderful woman who chose to specialise in menopause because of how it affected her personally.

I left feeling so uplifted, even when I paid £50 for my prescription! I wish I had recognised earlier that all of these symptoms clearly add up to hormonal changes - but as so many women do, we soldier on and look at symptoms in isolation rather that as an indicator of something bigger. The relief is immense.

Also just as well I don't currently have a partner: "Not tonight darling, I'm inserting synthetic hormones where the sun doesn't shine!" 42 nights!!!!