What is causing this extreme burnout? Meno, depression, or undiagnosed autism or adhd. And how can you find out?

[Suboptimumumma]

I am in my early sixties and very depressed atm. I’ve never experienced anything like it before. It’s in my body as much as in my mind. Like I’ve swallowed a lead balloon.

I’m not sad as such and having nothing specific to be depressed about, have a supportive husband and family, but I am just very very flat and finding it very very difficult to motivate myself to do anything.

It’s like pressing the accelerator button pedal in your car and there being no response.

I force myself to wash and dress and brush my teeth but find it an ordeal. I could sleep all day if I let myself. I don’t want to socialise but there again I’ve always preferred my own company. I’ve let the housework slip except for kitchen and bathroom. Just about hanging on to pt job.

So my question is: if your symptoms fit all three conditions how do you know which to treat? And how do you approach it and in what order?

I know I need treatment but the thought of untangling this seems exhausting. Please can someone with experience of similar issues point me in the right direction?

Thank you.

This is a bit of worrying blind spot to be honest. There are plenty of women of this generation for whom neurodiversity was never ever in the frame of reference, both because of being massively undiagnosed at the time, and because conceptual models, such as they were, were very male.

@francesthebadger no its definitely not a blind spot, It is common for suspicions around neurodiversity to come up in the work I do (multiple times every week!) but for a referral to either ADHD or Autism services to be accepted, we have to demonstrate there gave been challenges or difficulties in the relevant areas for the persons whole life. This is an absolutely fundamental criteria. So for someone who has coped well in life so far and not experienced for example difficulties with attention, concentration, impulsiveness (to list just a few issues common in people with ADHD) if those issues then developed We would be much more suspicious of there being another cause. The impact of Physical health issues on mental health-is vastly under recognised and where we often start to make sure something fundamental is bring overlooked.

I know you are posting generally here and not about me Endofroadinhs and I have read a lot recently about the importance of physical health in relation to mh, so I am not disagreeing with your well made points ( it would be foolish to do so as I am not sure yet what is wrong with me) but without going in to a lot of identifying detail, I have experienced certain difficulties with anxiety and social interaction throughout my entire life including childhood and although I functioned and held down a job, I did struggle considerably with certain aspects of it, even though it was a job that involved sitting quietly in a room on my own verifying facts and not interacting much with others.

So it’s for that reason I am putting ASD in to the pot of possibles. ADD is different as my brain fog and indecisiveness has only become problematic post menopause and post Covid but that has also coincided with loss of structure in our home eg dh not going out to work daily, me wfh too, dds no longer going to school. And I really struggle without that structure in place which facilitated order, consistency, regularity, predictability and a lot of time on my own.

@Suboptimumumma, of course, like everyone else posting, I have no way of knowing, and multiple factors could be at play, especially given the systemic changes brought on by menopause.

In terms of leaving ASD in the pot, have you read the NICE guidelines on adult diagnosis or reviewed the description in DSM V? Obviously an assessment would probe the criteria PP mentions, in a structured and thorough process.

I have read around the subject for my dd but no I haven’t read those two specific things francesthebadger and need to do so.