What is causing this extreme burnout? Meno, depression, or undiagnosed autism or adhd. And how can you find out?

[Suboptimumumma]

I am in my early sixties and very depressed atm. I’ve never experienced anything like it before. It’s in my body as much as in my mind. Like I’ve swallowed a lead balloon.

I’m not sad as such and having nothing specific to be depressed about, have a supportive husband and family, but I am just very very flat and finding it very very difficult to motivate myself to do anything.

It’s like pressing the accelerator button pedal in your car and there being no response.

I force myself to wash and dress and brush my teeth but find it an ordeal. I could sleep all day if I let myself. I don’t want to socialise but there again I’ve always preferred my own company. I’ve let the housework slip except for kitchen and bathroom. Just about hanging on to pt job.

So my question is: if your symptoms fit all three conditions how do you know which to treat? And how do you approach it and in what order?

I know I need treatment but the thought of untangling this seems exhausting. Please can someone with experience of similar issues point me in the right direction?

Thank you.

I am not sure if my symptoms qualify as mild or not. The depression atm seems overwhelming but obviously I am no expert.

The fact you are going to work every day and volunteering 2 x a week sounds as if you are coping.

Sorry to keep banging the same drum, but diet is a huge factor in mental health (there has been LOADS on this in the media over the past few months) and the effects of UPF on mood.

And carrying an extar 3 st around each day would make anyone feel tired and fed up.

Not being critical- please don't think that- but you need as you have said to tackle all of this first. I've give yourself 6 weeks to really try to make some changes, see a meno expert THEN think about other drugs if nothing is working.

The Alarming Link Between Your GUT & Depression | Dr. Tim Spector

Check out the Youtube on the above.

I am taking this on board thank you again Jingling

Totally agree about the 3 stone!

Don’t wish to be deliberately negative but volunteering has stopped for the summer break but if it hadn’t I would have had to withdraw.

The pt work I am doing is only possible because I can opt to do it from my laptop in my pjs. If I had had to commute regularly or be present in an office I would have had to take leave or resign.

And I am posting on here after more or less six months of feeling really low and trying to change my habits relating to food and exercise and having failed. There have been fluctuations during that time when I have felt better for two
or three days but also severe lows which seem to endure.

It does help to thrash out the issues as I am not in an environment where mg is talked about very much so I am grateful for everyone’s suggestions on here.

I would far prefer not to take ADs but talking therapy isn’t really for me. I am not sad. I had a good upbringing. And I have a good close and extended family support system so not sure what I would talk about!

Obviously my behaviour needs to change. Isn’t the definition of madness carrying on doing the same things and expecting a different outcome ?

mh not mg!

If you are talking about 'commuting' does that imply you are in the SE?
Several excellent meno specialists in the London area. Seeing someone will at least tick that box and they can advise.

Asperger’s is an outdated “diagnosis”. There’s no such thing as “full” autism. It’s a spectrum, not a gradient. You are autistic or you aren’t.

@JinglingSpringbells

you lost me at not “full autism”

An assessment for autism does not usually cause a parent to grieve.

how on earth can you speak for all parents @JinglingSpringbells

you are way out of your depth on this matter

Have you thought about trying St Johns Wort, it may help.

I have had a week's annual leave and felt similar to you, cannot be bothered and feeling anxious too. Last night, we did go out and really enjoyed the evening.

Maybe, cut the volunteering down to one day until you feel better in yourself.

Taking small steps forward will help the way you are feeling. I am also overweight, I know this does contribute to feeling blegh especially in the warmer weather.

Good luck going forward

The "quotes" are there because I fully understand what Asperger's is and autism. I know it's a spectrum. I've worked with people with these conditions (and I don't mean colleagues., I mean professionally.)

I was making the distinction between a discovery of a child with severe autism (if you can accept that!) and an adult on the other end of the spectrum.

Sorry if you were offended by my lack of clarity.

And your opinion is right? No need to be so rude, Note the word 'usually'.

You don’t have any children do you @JinglingSpringbells ?

and what is your role that means you are involved with ND but with a straight face write “not full autism” and say that an autism diagnosis would never result in a parent grieving

Does not “usually”

my mistake

so you have had extensive involvement in parents learning their child has autism?

and yet you write “not full autism”. Speaks volumes that terminology. And reference to outdated Aspergers

I understood what the poster meant by 'full autism'. To reach adulthood without a diagnosis would suggest it's doesn't impact the life of someone as much as someone with profound problems. Spectrums, gradients it is all a way to measure how significantly someone is affected.

Op, I echo what others have said you need a full MOT with blood tests, a discussion with your gp to try and get to the bottom of what is going on and to discuss a plan re weight management, wellbeing etc. Good luck.

Before I read your next post about you being three stone overweight I knew from your first post that you were going to say you were overweight.

As we get older our bodies can't cope with the extra weight as easily as when you're young.

I've seen this with a few women our age and they have become very tired and disinterested.

Losing the weight and starting or upping their exercise has transformed them physically and mentally.

@Suboptimumumma I went through the menopause over a decade ago. I never went in HRT and never would. None of my friends or family have and we are all just fine without it.

Whatever I posted was done as a quick post on a forum. If it offends you, because of your own circumstances, apologies. And certainly in my experience, Asperger's is a term still used, because I know people who use it about themselves, but I will bow to your superior knowledge on it.

Best not to do a “quick post” on a thread started by a seriously suffering OP and in matters of children and ND diagnoses

Accepted

Hi OP,
I would investigate the option of ADs with your GP. As you say, it's hard to make any other positive changes when you're truly depressed, and there's a decent chance the ADs will take the edge off enough to allow you to begin to exercise again, make changes to your diet etc. I speak from experience - citalopram has helped me no end, and enabled me to make other lifestyle changes (I'm in my mid-thirties but my symptoms were similar to yours. Moderate rather than severe depression, but it's still no fun at all). I know drugs don't work for everyone, but they have certainly worked for me.

Hi OP, I'm no expert but going through some similar things to you (and some different).

In your shoes I'd sit for a while and consider why you are so averse to the idea of talking therapy.

It's interesting because CBT is clinically proven to be a very effective treatment for depression and I've had success with it myself, twice.

It gives you is a 'jolt' out of your habitual negative thoughts, into more positive ones. If you didn't have habitually negative thoughts then you wouldn't have depression, right?

So I think you would do well to avoid the definition of madness you quoted above :) and just try it - if you can pay privately you should be able to access it pretty instantly? Make sure you find a practitioner that you actively like, trust, slightly admire - and will enjoy spending time with.

Once you can get out of the negative doom-loop of your own thought cycles, then the motivation to address food choices and walking becomes much easier. Sorting out those basics while depressed is crushingly hard, as easy as some people like to make it seem...

And talking has none of the side-effects of drugs!

Wish you all the best xx

I am very grateful for everyone’s responses on here, for everyone’s differing perspectives, and particularly those of you who have taken the trouble to describe what worked for you.

There are so many posts I apologise for not answering everyone individually it I have read each one and I am taking all of your excellent advice on board!

I feel much better for having asked and I do feel more energised now to make appointments and go and see people. So thank you very much 💐💐💐

First stop should be GP for a general medical and bloods to rule out physical causes. Until
youve done that I don’t think you should be looking at theories around diet or whatever else. Speak to a medical professional, start general and try and narrow down the options of what it could be.

Thank you yes BungleandGeorge that’s my first step. I had them done three months or so ago but no harm in starting this process afresh.

Thank you very much for your input WoolyMammoth55 I am open to different treatments. I did try CBT twenty years ago for a spot of post natal depression and anxiety but didn’t find it terribly effective largely because the physical symptoms prevented me from focusing well enough on the technique. But I am sure teaching has improved since then and as you say it’s important to engage with someone you click with. So I will keep an open mind about it.