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Menopause

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Original poster

Peri, every woman I socialise with is peri, all difficult!

166 replies

CreationNat1on · 30/04/2023 10:28

Is the answer, we are ALL menopausal???

I m just wondering, is it a stage of life thing, combined with post pandemic and culture wars, all the women I know, just seem so cranky. Where are the light hearted laughs? Why is it all comparisons and blame and passive aggressive itchiness?

Dud anyone else find mid 40s a difficult time with "friends".

OP posts:
Tootsey11 · 30/04/2023 12:50

Maybe it's you.

Nimbostratus100 · 30/04/2023 12:54

no, all my friends were fine, none of them did "peri" at all. Now we are all post menopausal, and still all fine. 2 close friends had problems with their menopause, and took HRT, but they were never "cranky".

I think we are losing sight of the fact that the menopause is a totally natural stage of life, and it has evolved for good reasons.

Tootsey11 · 30/04/2023 13:22

How does one 'do' peri?

Didn't realise it was something women 'did'

gingercat02 · 30/04/2023 13:28

Sounds like your friends are just a PITA!
I'm 54, none of us (friends/school mum's/work colleagues) had "peri" some have had better menopause than others but no one was a nightmare as a person.
A few on HRT but not the majority. Maybe we were just lucky?

Original poster
CreationNat1on · 30/04/2023 16:22

Maybe it's just the bank holiday weekend 😅😅, and too much expectation. I dunno, seems better today.

OP posts:
ejbaxa · 30/04/2023 16:25

Well I'm 45 and right through the menopause. Finished. No peri here.

Hbh17 · 30/04/2023 16:32

It is made up nonsense and pseudo-science that, unfortunately, merely adds to the "woe is me" narrative that some women choose to adopt.
Or what used to be known as "getting a bit older" 😂
And I say this as a genuine old bag, who didn't hit menopause until aged 56 and never considered "peri" as a thing at all.

TomatoSandwiches · 30/04/2023 16:35

Like with all things some will have it easier or harder then others, it rude to discount other people's experiences because you didn't have the same one.

Just like variations during puberty and pregnancy, just be grateful if you didn't struggle.

Tootsey11 · 30/04/2023 17:01

Laughing at those who think they are through it, all done. You do all realise that symptoms can hit at any time from the time periods stop until you die. I know of women who thought they were all done, then atrophy and hot flushes hit in their sixties.

Your attitude is condescending to those women who are having a harder time than you. Just keep your fingers crossed that you don't develop symptoms further down the line.

Nimbostratus100 · 30/04/2023 17:04

Tootsey11 · 30/04/2023 17:01

Laughing at those who think they are through it, all done. You do all realise that symptoms can hit at any time from the time periods stop until you die. I know of women who thought they were all done, then atrophy and hot flushes hit in their sixties.

Your attitude is condescending to those women who are having a harder time than you. Just keep your fingers crossed that you don't develop symptoms further down the line.

well, my friends and I are all in our 60s now, and the menopause is all a long way behind us

Original poster
CreationNat1on · 30/04/2023 17:08

ejbaxa · 30/04/2023 16:25

Well I'm 45 and right through the menopause. Finished. No peri here.

Really?! Wow. Would you mind providing some more details.

I m 44 and feel I ll be done shortly. I have gone about 100 days with nothing, then I had several periods, then I had bleeding that lasted two weeks, (but mostly just first thing in the morning) and nothing since. That was 8 weeks ago.

I ld like to be all done at 45.

OP posts:
Circleoffifths · 30/04/2023 17:12

I am 47 - definitely cranky and much less tolerant of bullshit than I used to be. Not much sign of periods stopping though.

eatdrinkandbemerry · 30/04/2023 17:12

I'm peri and I'm a delight 🤷‍♀️
Maybe it's just your group of friends 🤔

NouveauNom · 30/04/2023 17:17

Just the women? Are all the men in your life a flurry of rainbows and butterflies?

Original poster
CreationNat1on · 30/04/2023 17:25

NouveauNom · 30/04/2023 17:17

Just the women? Are all the men in your life a flurry of rainbows and butterflies?

No and my elderly mother can be a challenge too, maybe it's just life!!! Or me!

OP posts:
drspouse · 30/04/2023 17:26

I went through the menopause about 3 or 4 years ago and am now hearing everyone say "I'm peri" when nobody said this when I was at the stage of wondering if my periods had gone AWOL due to the implant or the menopause.

I tend to feel it's more of a "I can't possibly be old enough for the menopause so I'll say I'm peri" when in fact it's just the menopause.

HairyandLairy · 30/04/2023 17:31

Also, menopause isn't something you go "through" it's something you go "into". Once we are menopausal, that's it - the stage when periods and fertility have finished. There's no coming out of it!

Tootsey11 · 30/04/2023 17:49

@HairyLairy exactly! Women remain in menopause for the rest of their lives, and symptoms can start on any day at any time. Why there is still women believing that they are 'through' it and 'finished' is beyond me. How do they still not know.

3FriendsAndADog · 30/04/2023 17:54

There is such a thing as peri menopause.
Its not the ménopause (no periods at all and none coming back either) so you’ll have periods (regular or not) but much bigger hormonal fluctuations with all the symptoms that can go with it - joint pain, moody, tired etc etc
You can’t ‘diagnosed’ peri menopause with a blood test but many women respond well to HRT

So that was for those posters saying it didn’t exist….

Bar that, it might be that a lot if your friends are grumpy because of peri menopause. Or they are just grumpy/angry for a lot if other reasons! Impossible to say tbh.

3FriendsAndADog · 30/04/2023 17:56

Tootsey11 · 30/04/2023 17:49

@HairyLairy exactly! Women remain in menopause for the rest of their lives, and symptoms can start on any day at any time. Why there is still women believing that they are 'through' it and 'finished' is beyond me. How do they still not know.

What people mean is that they are out if that stage where they are getting bad symptoms such as hot flushes, insomnia, anxiety etc…

Of course when you are menopausal, it’s not going to change. But thankfully, you don’t also get hot flushes for the rest of your life either!

bellac11 · 30/04/2023 18:02

Im in peri menopause, its the time prior to the time when your periods have stopped for a year after which you are in menopause

Peri menopause can last for up to 10 years, its the time when your hormones are changing and fluctuating rapidly, Im very achy, tired, in pain a lot, my anxiety is through the roof, panic reactions, confusion, memory loss, etc

Choconut · 30/04/2023 18:03

Hbh17 · 30/04/2023 16:32

It is made up nonsense and pseudo-science that, unfortunately, merely adds to the "woe is me" narrative that some women choose to adopt.
Or what used to be known as "getting a bit older" 😂
And I say this as a genuine old bag, who didn't hit menopause until aged 56 and never considered "peri" as a thing at all.

Really? I've had hot flushes, sudden crippling feelings of anxiety over I don't know what, terrible brain fog and poor sleep.
Just because you didn't experience it doesn't mean it doesn't exist.

tigger1001 · 30/04/2023 18:26

So much ignorance on this thread. Maybe some posters need to appreciate different women experience menopause and peri menopause differently to them. And I am happy for anyone who hasn't experienced some of the more crippling symptoms, but please don't be so bloody ignorant as to belittle these of us who have not been so lucky.

Peri menopause is definitely a thing. As discussed and recognised by doctors. And peri menopause is different to the menopause.

I am very much in peri menopause. Still having regular periods. But the brain fog and the rage are very real. I am very grateful for hrt. And very grateful of the press that peri is now getting as it really does help not to feel alone. My brain fog was so bad I was really concerned I had early onset dementia. When I said that to the doctor, she said lots of women say that to her.

Op, whether it's peri or not it's hard to say.

lljkk · 01/05/2023 12:10

Gosh this thread is refreshing. I never had peri either. Nothing that happened to my health after age 40 is a patch on the health challenges I had in my late 20s, so maybe I was incapable of noticing. I'm jealous of all the women who had to wait until age 40+ to have a single mental or physical health issue.

Kets27 · 05/05/2023 11:57

I know what you mean.. mid forties can be tricky to navigate if a lot of your friends are going through hormonal fluctuations! But you have to still find the ability to laugh and joke.. maybe if you do it.. they will join in?