Peri, every woman I socialise with is peri, all difficult!

[CreationNat1on]

Is the answer, we are ALL menopausal???

I m just wondering, is it a stage of life thing, combined with post pandemic and culture wars, all the women I know, just seem so cranky. Where are the light hearted laughs? Why is it all comparisons and blame and passive aggressive itchiness?

Dud anyone else find mid 40s a difficult time with "friends".

"take me seriously or not, as you want, but I am speaking the truth"

That's the thing - you are not. You might believe the crap you are spouting, but it's far from the truth! You are being derogatory to millions of women. Exactly how you think that's helpful, I do not know.

Most women are not fine, as you would know if you made the tiniest effort to learn something about this subject. The majority suffer menopausal symptoms, physical and/or mental and emotional, to varying degrees, at any time from perimenopause onwards for the rest of their lives. You are an ideologically motivated liar with zero capacity to cope with reality. You're not a shred better than the patriarchy you pretend to oppose.

"Most women are not fine, as you would know if you made the tiniest effort to learn something about this subject. The majority suffer menopausal symptoms, physical and/or mental and emotional, to varying degrees, at any time from perimenopause onwards for the rest of their lives. You are an ideologically motivated liar with zero capacity to cope with reality. You're not a shred better than the patriarchy you pretend to oppose."

@Pollyputhekettleon very well said. I do wonder why they are so opposed to hormones causing issues. They don't believe puberty is a thing either. So damaging - and it's shitty attitudes like this that caused women in previous generations to not speak out, to suffer in silence. Why would we want that?

no, most women are fine, the massive surge of self selective echo chambers on line currently are just a fad, and deeply damaging to women. Most women dont even give it a passing thought, lest alone decide to fill in questionnaires, and go onto websites about it.

For many women it is something to celebrate - my friends and I certainly celebrate it. Among my closest friends that I have ever mentioned it to, 2 people have asked for medical help for minor issues, and tens more have had no problem. One more problem was my cousin, who had no medical issues related to the menopause, except hitting it at 20 meant she had fertility problems, which have been over come

I am very up to date on all the neurological and hormonal developments in puberty, and know perfectly well that most teens are reasonable, sensible people , and that this rubbish for blaming puberty for poor behaviour is just lack of personal responsibility and parenting.

So damaging - and it's shitty attitudes like this that caused women in previous generations to not speak out, to suffer in silence. Why would we want that?

Dont you get it, previous generations HAVE been shouting out, literally for decades, get away from this misogynistic stereotype of middle aged women being weak and irrational - now you are undoing generations of progress by dragging us all back into this tripe.

The menopause evolved for the benefit of women

Why do you think anything evolved? Because it benefits the family, and gives us more opportunity to nurture our decedents, and further our genes, because we have longer health and strength

Anyone who thinks that the menopause would have evolved if it is detrimental simply does not understand biology. It would not evolve unless it increases life chances.

Your persistent reliance on your anecdotal experience is very telling. You either are genuinely that stupid or, more likely, your political dogma makes you literally incapable of rationality. You're a waste of time.

No, I think that’s you or your friendship group.

@Nimbostratus100 oh give over! Again you are just ignorant, or a wind up merchant.

What is interesting though is when talking about puberty you talk about bad behaviour. Being hormonal doesn't equate to "bad" - it's you that has suggested it's bad behaviour. Being over emotional due to hormones isn't bad behaviour. And teens need that explained to them. That it's normal to feel emotional and hormones do effect that.

And no, womens health has not been taken seriously in the past. It's only now, that women are being heard, yet you feel the need to shush us. Again, why? Why tell millions of women their experiences aren't real? Make them, once again afraid to talk out? What good does that do?

no, I have looked at the actual, genuine research, not the internet echo chambers and faddy management virtue signalling, as you could if you had any genuine interest.

What do you think the menopause is FOR

Why do you think it even EXISTS

it is for our benefit. That is why it exists. Why on earth do you think it would happen or have come about otherwise?

You are missing out on the simple, basic, fundamental of science

I've reported @Nimbostratus100 and asked for them to be banned. They are simply spreading hate now but somehow think they are helping women? Maybe they are just mentally unwell who knows? My money is on them just being a hairy handed cunt though 🙄

Your constant appealing to your own authority is getting embarrassing you know. You live in a world of stereotypes and tropes and muh patriarchy bad. Meanwhile some of us aim to live in a world built around reality, which is often not pretty.

Your understanding of evolution is childlike. There’s huge debate about why menopause evolved and no prospect of it being settled anytime soon. You’ve chosen the narrative that suits your emotional needs because, as I said, you live in a world of narrative. All you care about is whether something does or doesn’t fit into your political agenda. It’s frankly disgusting that women like you pretend to care about women.

you want me banned for pointing out that scientifically the menopause evolved for our benefit?

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

sure, go ahead - just how intelligent will you look for getting a biologist banned for explaining basic biology to you, just because it doesn't fit in with your personal political preferences

Come on then, lets hear your ideas- why do you think the menopause evolved? You cant answer - so your default is WE DONT LIKE THIS SCIENC ! BAN! BAN! BAN!

Not rubbish, unlike a lot of things you spout across these boards.

It's dreadful you negate the experiences of so many women. You should be ashamed of yourself.

I am not negating the experiences of women. If you have a medical problem, see a doctor. Some people do. Dont extrapolate that to "Women".

Why would you try to get her banned? She/he/it is not 'spreading hate' - which by the way is a perfectly normal, common and health human emotion. Did her hate spread to you through the internet? Are you feeling hatred against yourself right now? No? Well the rest of us don't need protecting from that little miasma either thank you.

Do you really not understand that a certain brand of feminist thinks this way and genuinely can't accept biological reality? I vehemently disagree with them but I perfectly understand the motivation and you could too if you made the effort. And if she is mentally unwell, does that give you the right to shut her up? If you personally can't cope with reading her, then don't.

You are. Repeatedly on this thread, and other threads.

"no, most women are fine, the massive surge of self selective echo chambers on line currently are just a fad, and deeply damaging to women. Most women dont even give it a passing thought, lest alone decide to fill in questionnaires, and go onto websites about it.

For many women it is something to celebrate - my friends and I certainly celebrate it. Among my closest friends that I have ever mentioned it to, 2 people have asked for medical help for minor issues, and tens more have had no problem. One more problem was my cousin, who had no medical issues related to the menopause, except hitting it at 20 meant she had fertility problems, which have been over come"

Jesus. Have you thought, given your views people won't be honest with you??

Menopause symptoms to some degree will affect the majority of women. Thankfully if the symptoms get bad enough we can get help now.

As a result of it no longer being a taboo subject it's openly discussed at work. And with one exception every woman there has had symptoms of peri menopause. Some only slightly and some more severe. Same with my friendship group. All have had some symptoms some only slightly and some more severe.

People tend to think of symptoms being hot flushes, rage and brain fog (which does exist) and not much else because these are the ones most noticed by others. But there are many symptoms - my doctor gave me websites to go look at before my appointment so I could understand better. That's when I realised that I had actually been in peri for at least 2 years. A list of symptoms that I had not connected to one cause.

Thousands of women (if not more) reporting the same symptoms. Coincidence?? The fact these symptoms appear when there are hormone fluctuations - coincidence??

I am so grateful that when I did go to the doctor, the doctor I saw (completely by chance) was passionate about women's health and didn't dismiss me. Because if she did, my life would look very different right now.

"am not negating the experiences of women. If you have a medical problem, see a doctor. Some people do. Dont extrapolate that to "Women"."

But you are. That's exactly what you are doing. And it's harmful. Why you feel the need to do it is beyond me but that is exactly what you are doing. You are telling people not to speak up about their experiences as that will encourage others to do the same.

It's exactly this attitude that lead to women not seeking medical help in the past.

I'd like to know what these good reasons are that mean I need to eat 800 calories a day to lose weight ffs.

I think a lot of women believe that the main/only symptom of perimenopause is hot flushes. So if they don't experience those, then they've 'sailed through it'!

But there are so many symptoms which are easily attributable to other things or are little, niggly irritants that women just dismiss as one offs or just part of life. A weird one for me was vertigo - came out of nowhere and not something people associate with menopause. And the more obvious heavy periods with flooding.

Hormones are so so important - they rule everything in our bodies and it stands to reason that once they dip and change, we will change.

I am on HRT. I think I need testosterone as well but the dr won't prescribe. But the HRT I'm on cured palpitations (I genuinely feared I was going to have a heart attack), crippling anxiety that I never even realised I had until it reduced. I genuinely thought all the stupid shit I was worrying about were normal levels of fear. The vertigo went.
Now I'd been going to my dr for a few years with these issues and it took years before anyone joined the dots and thought that maybe these were perimenopause related. So if doctors are missing it, it stands to reason that women might be too.

How many women have been offered antidepressants be a of their mood instead of HRT?

One of the biggest problems women have during menopause is something we still don’t talk about - which is why I linked to the thread about it earlier on (“UTIs - are my bike riding days over” which covers it all really well) - vaginal dryness and discomfort. We are all happier to talk about hot flushes, brain fog and menopause in general but for a lot of women the one symptom that they will have and that will really bother them is vaginal changes and we don’t talk about that. Internal oestrogen is available and should be used by a LOT more women than it is but because we don’t chat about it with our friends / online so much so many women are out there suffering with persistent thrush / UTIs / painful sex / pain just walking about etc because they don’t realise that actually having a dry and painful vaginal IS a symptom of menopause that can be treated with HRT like any other - both localised and systemic HRT.

I can't recall a time when I didn't know that the start of menopause wasn't hard on SOME women. Especially around age 50-53. I feel sure that was part of our sex-ed in school, 1979. Also rampant in cultural references, tv, fiction, gossip, some women I've known. Repeat exposure/discussion to this info, throughout my life.

When you look at all the symptoms MNers list for peri, the ones I also have/ever had, started in youth. I end up thinking "Did I start peri at age 2yrs old? Lucky them, they found a simple effective treatment for everything!" also: "Half of what they list is quite vague and seems so mild that if it's overwhelming then they must have never had health problems at all, before."

Every woman OP knows is "difficult" so it must be peri. How is that not a huge sexist assumption being foisted on women as a group. It's as bad a stereotype as assuming women are "too emotional" for leadership roles in the workplace, stereotypes of 1940s+.

Not my experience. We are almost all on HRT though 😀

Nimbostratus** fine you don't have it and that's great.

Many of us do and it's a bloody relief to know I'm not alone and I can talk about it and, most importantly, if I feel HCPs aren't taking me seriously ill bloody we'll stamp my feet till they do.

No one is insisting all women suffer just saying many do.

Most women dont even give it a passing thought, lest alone decide to fill in questionnaires, and go onto websites about it.

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We don't do it for a laugh you know