Menopause rage - how to manage it without HRT

[MaMelon]

Has anyone managed to get on top of the feelings of utter rage without HRT (I can’t take it)? If so, what did you do? I’m absolutely losing the plot - I could literally kill

That’s not a symptom I had, not anyone I know, although I’m sure it’s a thing. Can you say more what’s causing your rage?

It IS a symptom. Just Google menopause and rage and you'll get lots of articles.

It was very much one of my symptoms that HRT did help with. Sorry to ask but can you definitely not take HRT? I know people who were initially told No, but are now on it via a more specialist Meno Dr.

Apologies @Bluntness100. I just reread your post and realised you weren't disputing the OP 😳

Sorry, OP, I didn’t find anything that worked until HRT.

It was pure fury. All the rage all the time. I really feel for you.

Not a miracle but I do find that Starpowa Menobalance gummies take the edge off a bit. It's not gone completely but they do help me feel less out of control

Homeopathy, dietary changes, herbs. (Try Staphisagria from a local health food shop and if that takes the edge off even momentarily find a homeopath who also works with diet and herbs).

Read Christiane Northrop on menopausal rage. We are often suppressing our own needs through our childbearing years and as the production of estrogen transfers from the ovaries to the adrenal glands some people feel this as a release of built up anger.

Thanks everyone - a few things to try there.

@Chewbecca - yes, definitely can’t take HRT. Tried it for 18 months, result was hormonal breast cysts(drained - not nice!)/uterine polyps (Hysteroscopy this week to check it’s nothing worse) plus history of breast cancer amongst maternal aunts - decision, on advice of fantastic GP plus 2 consultants, is that I’m really better off not on it)

@Bluntness100 - everything and everyone

No I never managed to get through it, I was a hell hound after being mild mannered for years.
Tried all the natural substitutions - useless.
Tried those natural rub on gels - useless.
A colleague said if you don't go onto HRT I'm going to tell our boss I'm not working with you any more. So I went on HRT, instant personality change.
I'm past the menopause now but still take the lowest dose of oestrogen to protect my heart and bones.

I did look at all the research at one point out of deperation - I work in medical and the only surefire way to feel better is to get down to your ideal weight and do hard physical exercise like running and weight training. That reduces the symptoms a lot.

I feel for you, I tried everything before HRT, and made the owner of the local health store very happy. Not one thing worked and I relented and commenced HRT.

Would patches be any good or do they pose the same risk as tablets for you? I use patches as I do ( well I did) quite a few long haul trips NZ to UK every year and they have less of blood clots. I really hope you find something which helps it is very traumatic to find you are changing into a person you do not recognise or even like.

I suffered with this in addition to hot flushes

My GP suggested fluoexitine (Prozac) as I have a blood condition which may preclude me from taking HRT. I agreed to try it and I’m longer feel so furious at everyone and every thing. Also definitely fewer hot flushes.

No side effects that I’ve noticed

Exercise? I find swimming helps loads.
Another part of me wonders - what's wrong with having the rage? Perhaps there is something to be raging about? (Only slightly joking)

I take Meno vitamins which I think helps but who knows...

I wasn’t quite as bad as you sound but def went from super easy going, laid back to moments of rage at the drop of a hat.

I’ve been taking menopace for about 2 years, forgot to take it on holiday with me recently and within 3 days I was snappy and melancholy.

It’s such a relief to know I’m not alone - although I know that also means you all went through hell too, so for that I’m sorry. It’s really awful, isn’t it?

I really don’t like what I’m becoming - I was actually screaming at DH the other day, horrible for both of us.

My weight is fine - right in the middle of the healthy BMI. I could definitely do more exercise - I walk most days and go to the gym a couple of times a week but probably not enough.

Take Menopace and have used Prozac in the past for depression so might try that again as it helped then.

I don’t know about the HRT patches - I would like to think there were considered as part of the review my GP did. I’m so nervous about taking any form of HRT to be honest - waiting for the results of a mammogram in panic at 50 and now bricking it at the thought of a hysteroscopy and its results focuses your attention a bit.

Well personally would reconsider Hrt- speaking as someone w v close relatives w breast cancer and having had polyps. It is a balance of benefits/risks. Am deficient in hormones permanently, such is the menopause, so intend to take for life. If I should get bc myself, would reconsider then.

Sounds like your medical team have been very thorough. I hope your hysteroscopy goes ok for you and fingers crossed for the results.

Sounds like you are doing everything Barr HRT to help so I second anti depressants. It's horrible feeling like you have no control over your rage.

It calmed down eventually.

Oh, that's a shame. I had polyps removed pre-hrt and have had many mammograms for lumpy boobs, again, it started pre-hrt. I use the gel. I started getting angrier and had interrupted sleep again a few months ago upped my dose, and improved very quickly so I am certain my rage is a direct result of low oestrogen.

Hi OP, I feel your pain. I am on HRT but my GOs always said that Lexapro or whatever SSRI suits you works if you cannot take HRT - obviously only for the mood related issues. So I advise you to go back on Prozac if it suits you. Also, SSRI’s are used for mood issues in PMT in women who are not menopausal but get serious mood changes - my friend has been put on this by her Dr. So it is a proven remedy for the issue.

GP - excuse phone typos

I have over the years changed my diet away from quick release carbs. I eat a lot of green veg now with protein foods and some fats, if I have potato and brown rice it is as a garnish the way I used to have a salad.

This seemed to relieve flushing very early. I lost some weight off the middle and I've noticed too with hindsight that the anger has ebbed. I'm not sure at all of that is just time. However it seems logically possible that if my physical reactivity went down as a result so might my emotional.

I wish I'd had a chance at trying other things so I'm in no way suggesting a diet can do everything approach.

My best wishes in finding a way through.

@ChateauMargaux

Homeopathy, dietary changes, herbs. (Try Staphisagria from a local health food shop and if that takes the edge off even momentarily find a homeopath who also works with diet and herbs).

Read Christiane Northrop on menopausal rage. We are often suppressing our own needs through our childbearing years and as the production of estrogen transfers from the ovaries to the adrenal glands some people feel this as a release of built up anger.

I absolutely agree with the last paragraph. I think my rage comes from having had enough of picking up and clearing up after people, from having to decide what to have for tea again. Fed up of cleaning, getting food in, of DIY jobs not being done even though he’s retired and I still work. I’ve really had enough, I want to live on my own with my dog.

Acupuncture has a great track record with all hormone related issues, changed my life. £60 a session in my area. Totally worth it. Some results are instant others kick in over a few days. Can stop frequent periods, lighten heavy periods, regulate mood, improve sleep.

It can do all the things we are told to shut up and put up with.

I wish they’d hurry up and move with the times and get it on the nhs. It’s been proved not to be woo, it’s used in a limited capacity for some things by the nhs. But not women’s things as yet.

I think my rage comes from having had enough of picking up and clearing up after people, from having to decide what to have for tea again. Fed up of cleaning, getting food in, of DIY jobs not being done even though he’s retired and I still work.
I’ve really had enough, I want to live on my own with my dog

There’s definitely a lot of this involved. Previously I wouldn’t bother and would just get on with the tea making etc - now I am sick to the back teeth of looking after other people. I have to listen to boring stories of my twenty-something DD’s friendship and boyfriend woes, try to summon the energy to show an interest in my 14 year old’s school career when he doesn’t GAF, bite my tongue when DH is being pernickety about some trivial thing, try not to roll my eyes at one of my team’s problem with their dog or why they’re stressed or whatever - I JUST DON’T CARE.

Someone on a menopause thread recently said she just wants to sit and stare and things - and I totally get that. The urge to get in my car, drive to the north of Scotland, find a little remote place, get a dog, live off bread and cheese and not tell anyone where I was is becoming harder to fight by the day. I have money in the bank, I could absolutely do it.