Menopause rage - how to manage it without HRT

[MaMelon]

Has anyone managed to get on top of the feelings of utter rage without HRT (I can’t take it)? If so, what did you do? I’m absolutely losing the plot - I could literally kill

Have you tried things like Agnus Castus, or Sage or Red Clover?
Agnus castus helped me somewhat with menopause symptoms.
Also changing from cows milk to soya milk can help because of the phytooestrogen

@Branleuse

Have you tried things like Agnus Castus, or Sage or Red Clover? Agnus castus helped me somewhat with menopause symptoms. Also changing from cows milk to soya milk can help because of the phytooestrogen

I did try sage but didn’t notice a difference, but I’m up for trying Agnus Castus and red clover.

Are the phytoestrogens likely to replicate the HRT do you know? If not I’d definitely give that a try.

@Elieza

Acupuncture has a great track record with all hormone related issues, changed my life. £60 a session in my area. Totally worth it. Some results are instant others kick in over a few days. Can stop frequent periods, lighten heavy periods, regulate mood, improve sleep.

It can do all the things we are told to shut up and put up with.

I wish they’d hurry up and move with the times and get it on the nhs. It’s been proved not to be woo, it’s used in a limited capacity for some things by the nhs. But not women’s things as yet.

Will look into that, thanks - never thought of trying it for the menopause.

@Shehasadiamondinthesky

I did look at all the research at one point out of deperation - I work in medical and the only surefire way to feel better is to get down to your ideal weight and do hard physical exercise like running and weight training. That reduces the symptoms a lot.

Thank you SO MUCH. I didn’t know that.

I had terrible menopause symptoms before going on HRT. I have been dreading coming off.

I am overweight but healthy, was thinking about losing weight but not motivated because I couldn’t see any point (BMI is high but blood pressure, VO2 max etc are all good).

I’ve just done some reading on what you said and can’t believe it wasn’t mentioned before. But I figure I could use the time I have left on HRT to lose the weight and then hopefully symptoms won’t be so bad when I have to come off.

Can anyone put a link to the exercise information? I must not be searching using the right terms.

I'm on tamoxifen because I had breast cancer, which gives you menopausal symptoms. Obviously I can't have hrt. I find that if I run 3 times a week, for about an hour, I don't get the symptoms as much. If I don't run I start to get night sweats and very moody. I do also take mirtazapine which helps me to sleep a bit better, though when it wears off in the early morning I start to get disturbed sleep and a multitude of bizarre dreams, but at least I do get some undisturbed sleep.

Angus caster. Also high potency vitamin B.

Any recommendations for the Agnus Castus or is it all much of a muchness?

I had acupuncture for fertility issues many years ago, and it had a distinct affect on my PMS rage at the time.

Whilst I am lucky and HRT (just about) works for me now, acupuncture would be worth a go to combat the rage.

That’s interesting, I’m a healthy weight, I eat low carb so lots of veg and proteins and I exercise five to six days a week inc running and weights. Other than some night mare periods, some mild anxiety and night sweats, I got through peri menopause relatively easily. Last period was late last year and I feel fine.

I do take a lot of vitamins though, from cod liver oil, to marine collagen to vitamin c, d, iron etc. So now I do wonder if diet and exercise helped alleviate symptoms.

Joining the rage club. I’m trying to get HRT but booking the blood test the dr asked for has so far not been possible. One thing I have noticed is that the things I rage about are genuine. I have particular triggers. My understanding is that oestrogen makes women more accommodating, relaxed, submissive, cheerful and when that drops you’re just faced with the reality that everything’s a bit shit. You can no longer tolerate things that you should never have tolerated.

I’m after HRT for the other symptoms really. Palpitations, hot flushes, insomnia etc.

Estro broccoli complex, Aswaghanda and Holy Basil (aka Tulsi) have helped me enormously. The rage was awful, I felt aggressive and violent. I also take A Vogel Agnus Castus.

@MaMelon

*I think my rage comes from having had enough of picking up and clearing up after people, from having to decide what to have for tea again. Fed up of cleaning, getting food in, of DIY jobs not being done even though he’s retired and I still work. I’ve really had enough, I want to live on my own with my dog*

There’s definitely a lot of this involved. Previously I wouldn’t bother and would just get on with the tea making etc - now I am sick to the back teeth of looking after other people. I have to listen to boring stories of my twenty-something DD’s friendship and boyfriend woes, try to summon the energy to show an interest in my 14 year old’s school career when he doesn’t GAF, bite my tongue when DH is being pernickety about some trivial thing, try not to roll my eyes at one of my team’s problem with their dog or why they’re stressed or whatever - I JUST DON’T CARE.

Someone on a menopause thread recently said she just wants to sit and stare and things - and I totally get that. The urge to get in my car, drive to the north of Scotland, find a little remote place, get a dog, live off bread and cheese and not tell anyone where I was is becoming harder to fight by the day. I have money in the bank, I could absolutely do it.

I love this post. I could have written every word. Today I’ve spent all morning cleaning whilst suffering hot flushes and palpitations. I just want to stay in bed and stare and stuff.

I think every woman experiences different menopausal and peri menopausal symptoms - just as some women have light periods all their lives and no period pain; other women get very painful periods with vomiting and migraine added in - therefore, we cannot generalise on what is the cure - each woman needs to find her way through this with what works for her.

I echo running - fast and at least twice a week - it helps with both anxiety and rage.

I have also started Buddhist meditation - I am not a Buddhist so it is a secular form for me - I use the app Buddhify (I’m hoping it will help the rage - or even my ‘fly off the handle at DC pestering’ although DH said the jury is still out 😂). I think it might take a year 😱 I do it twice a day (waking up and going to sleep ). It has helped with sleep and heart palpitations.

@PollyValent

Can anyone put a link to the exercise information? I must not be searching using the right terms.

Exercise and menopause

Exercise BMI and menopause

BMI study

Seems slightly inconclusive on BMI but pretty well established on exercise.

Thank you.

I suppose the question could be, why should we suppress the rage ?
Maybe we should get rid of the things that cause the rage in the first place.

@GoodnightGrandma

I suppose the question could be, why should we suppress the rage ? Maybe we should get rid of the things that cause the rage in the first place.

See my previous post about living in a remote cottage in the north of Scotland!

I’m making light of it but actually, I wouldn’t do that. My dad became a recluse at the end of his life and he’d been dead for some time before the police found him. My sister and I had to deal with the aftermath which was horrendous - so while the idea of living like a hermit is v appealing my logical head knows from experience what a burden that places on the family.

Anyway, sorry - that’s a bit of a sidestep from the OP.

That doesn't sound hormonal or in any way treatable with medication because it's situational.

You could try kick boxing training. Ticks all the boxes for fitness, cardio, strength, flexibility, weightbearing, all with the option to beat the crap out of a punchbag three times a week?

In what way situational? It’s like horrendous PMT or like being a teenager again, but I don’t feel like beating the crap out of anybody/thing

My rage lasted about 3yrs. Somehow I didn't kill anyone but I shouted a lot and slammed things. But the GP wouldn't believe I was menopausal as I was too young (early 40's).

To add to my previous post I also started eating plant based in January this year. I don’t want to go all vegan preacher at you but there are some who think it helps significantly with menopausal symptoms. I eat a ton of green leafy veggies and cauliflower etc plus a lot of tofu. Both of those are recommended. Overall though a healthier diet all round. No t hormones from cows milk and meat products possibly helps too . It’s worth looking into.

I also agree with doing a lot of exercise. It’s good for your mental state (and gives you free reign to be on your own for a bit) and physical health. I run a few times a week and lift heavy weights five days per week.

To be fair there are no hormones added to UK cattle iirc. US based websites are so ubiquitous though.

I had this for a few years, my poor children Sometimes it felt like electricity.

I found taking half a Xanax a great help at the time of the rage, rather than taking some thing everyday.

"We are often suppressing our own needs through our childbearing years and as the production of estrogen transfers from the ovaries to the adrenal glands some people feel this as a release of built up anger"

I think this is very true. I have become better at speaking up for myself. 11 months 🤞now since last period and things have calmed down.

@MaMelon

In what way situational? It’s like horrendous PMT or like being a teenager again, but I don’t feel like beating the crap out of anybody/thing

The situation where you

1. Are sick to the back teeth of looking after other people.

1. I have to listen to boring stories of my twenty-something DD’s friendship and boyfriend woes,

1. try to summon the energy to show an interest in my 14 year old’s school career when he doesn’t GAF,

1. bite my tongue when DH is being pernickety about some trivial thing,

1. try not to roll my eyes at one of my team’s problem with their dog or why they’re stressed or whatever - I JUST DON’T CARE

1. You've had very scary medical things of your own - who was actually supporting YOU? Who was showing that they cared about YOU?

Why is it that you are assuming, as others are on here, that the problem is that there's something with wrong with YOU and you need medicating because you happen to have a uterus and ovaries, rather than it being that you're not being listened to, validated, talked over and generally there to be the support staff to everybody else's emotions?

It's a version of Mother's Little Helpers - never mind women being unhappy due to a lack of rights, financial dependence, domestic violence, lack of agency over family planning, systemic discrimination and restrictions purely based upon gender roles ascribed to their sex, just prescribe 'em Valium and they'll become more compliant; no risk of them saying, actually, this absence of rights is fucking shit and we will not tolerate it any more.

These days, instead of Valium, oh, it's the menopause/perimenopause/the boundaries for this getting moved to about a day after PND fails to become a viable dismissal tactic, fix your attitude with some hormones that may present medical risks or just neck back the antidepressants even if you're not depressed, as they'll still have a chemical effect upon you for daring to be unhappy, irritated, resentful or in anyway not happy, smiley, servile and completely devoid of any awareness of your own value and rights to be respected.

That isn't to say that HRT is always bad, bollocks to that - but isn't it strange how everything is coming down to 'oh, it's your reproductive system making you feel like that. Take some pills and fuck off with wanting some agency in your own life'