Peri-Menopause Support Thread

[OldEnglishSheepDog]

Hello – would anyone else be interested in an ongoing peri-menopause support thread? I would love to chat with other people going through this utterly miserable experience.

Here’s my story. I’m 38, I have one child. We had hoped for another but after two rounds of IVF we decided to be grateful for what we had. Last month, after a few symptoms started making themselves evident, I went to the doctor for a blood test which confirmed that I am now officially peri-menopausal.
I’m starting this thread because I have never felt quite so lonely and scared as I do right now. The physical symptoms of hot flushes and occasional but intense headaches are bad but there is a whole new world of anxiety, depression and existential angst which has opened up since around November. I suffer palpitations which send me into a panic. I fret about my relationship while simultaneously withdrawing from it. Yesterday, I cried at a Radio 4 programme about The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy. I have quit alcohol completely. I am eating more healthily than I ever have before and exercising regularly and yet my middle has thickened and refuses to budge no matter what I do.

I find the menopause support web pages patronising. They seem to want to paint the whole experience as a new and exciting chapter as opposed to the slow death that it seems like at the moment. So I wanted to start a support thread that acknowledges the darkest aspects of this experience and allows us to wallow a bit before providing some practical suggestions.

If I end up just screaming into the abyss on my own, that’s fine. But if anyone else wants to join in, please do.

Does anyone know if heartburn could be connected? I had it for a couple of weeks a few months ago. It's suddenly started up again since Sunday and is really painful. It's waking me up in the night too and I'm struggling to find anything to help with it. The only time I'd ever had it before was when I was pregnant with DS2.

Hi HHH3
Yes, heartburn can be down to perimenopause

www.34-menopause-symptoms.com/digestive-problems/articles/6-tips-for-avoiding-digestive-problems-during-menopause.htm

I've had all sorts of stomach problems during peri - if you google menopause and GERD or menopause and acid reflux you'll get more information.

Oops, meant to say you should keep a diary of symptoms - maybe this happens during a specific stage of your cycle?

Thank-you - that's really helpful. Saw the nurse today as I couldn't get an appt with a Dr. She's given me something for the heartburn and has referred me for a pelvic scan to check there's nothing else going on. She said once I've had the scan to see one of the GPs to have an interest in women's health.

Hi, I hope you ladies out there could help my symptoms too by talking.
I am in my late 49’s and had no real periods for about a year now - I have a young child. When I was pregnant my Husband had an affair and has since had another- things between us are not great and I am unsure if this is down to menopause or just that I should give up on my marriage. I feel fat, old, uninterested physically and have bad periods of anxiety and depression- has anyone experienced anything similar and how have you coped? I am holding it together for my children but I have to disappear and cry a lot of the time. My Husband says he is sorry and ashamed of what he has done, but he doesn’t seem to understand the confusion I have ie what is down to his affairs and what is down to menopause? How can he support me? I have nobody to talk to about it, my Mum had dementia and I am not close to my in laws.....

ahhh Monty

I am so sorry your'e going thru all this. What a horrible situation. I wonder if you google Menopause cafe you might find one local to you? I am panning on going to one or hosting on if I Can' t find one near me, I think space for us to share experiences would be really helpful.

ANother good thing if it's affordable - Is it possible you could talk to a counsellor? When my XHB had an affair I found that the most rewarding thing I did, it was time just for me to get my thoughts into clarity and gave me time to reflect on stuff and make plans, with myself in the lead of them... if that makes sense.

And without trying to belittle any of your HBs actions often I have found men just ACT rather than face/discuss problems as if their actions will precipitate a response so they can get out of facing up to them. SO perhaps couples counselling is an idea too... VERE YOU CAN FORCE HIM TO TALK eeek!

I think disappearing and crying is very sensible if not altogether a long term solution. Better than hitting HB with a pan.

Thanks Vikingblonde, I will certainly look for the help group. We are due to go to a councillor on Monday after 4 years if me saying we need to do it..... It’s so difficult but in a way it’s good I have the children to focus on xx

Hi all, joining this thread - wish i'd thought to pop back to good ol' mumsnet before. It's so good to 'meet' others who are there/have been there/know a hell of a lot more about this than me.
I used mumsnet loads years ago when my son was younger. it's good to be back.
I am in perimenopause with no period for 5 months. Just been to GP due to insane levels of anxiety - never experienced anything like it before. Had to leave work last week as couldn't cope! My GP was lovely, very supportive. My BP was sky high so I've got a week off to calm my self bloody down and then I will be prescribed HRT. Very happy about it.

Great news Monty I hope it goes well. Remember the counsellor won't take sides. It can teach you guys some very useful relationship tools. I still use some with my XHB because he is such a tool that's helpful as we still co-parent.

Best of luck with it x

Hi Anaa hope your week off is lovely. Don't overdo it and get some sun on your face. Vitamin D very helpful for Peru meno symptoms apparently! X

VikingBlonde thanks. I have been relaxing as much as possible. vitamin D sounds just the ticket tbh!

Does anyone have any good advice/supplement suggestions to cope with the RAGE? I am currently simultaneously angry and mortified at my level of rage at a colleague trying to access a spreadsheet at the same time as me

Hi, can I join please. I think this is it, I'm on the peri-menopause. I'm 51, period three weeks late. I started getting hot flushes last week, which have got worse this week. I had loads last night and felt so restless. My legs have been aching and heavy this week, as well as feeling a little dizzy if I bend down, not sure if this is connected. I'm not one for going to the doctor, so in the ideal world I don't want to go down HRT route.

WittyBrittle Trier, I didn't know you could experience rage, what have I got in front of me?!

I have two to three days a month when I hate everyone and everything and everything makes me shouty. Then as if a switch has been flicked, I’m normal again and trying to cope with the consequences of hulking our.

Hulking out!

Can I join you please?

This excistential crisis I’m having is really getting me down. Fairly sure it’s being peri-menopausal,
but I’m on the verge of seeking out religion to make life bearable. I’m 48, never really known mood swings like it. Last week, I commented on how happy I was, was positively joyful, rampant libido, all was good in the world.
THIS week though - plummeting into the fear of my own mortality.
I got drunk on Saturday, I wonder if that had an impact?

I feel awful though.

I'll join! Not diagnosed yet, despite going to drs several times. I am 40 and for the past year have had shorter than usual periods but with days of flooding, cramping where I previously had hardly any, several days a month of nausea which I never got before, odd nights of insomnia ( despite never having it before) and occasional days when I am completely wiped out/ need to sleep as soon as the kids are in bed. Most recent odd symptom which I am wondering is linked is back and hip ache . I had a pegesterone coil fitted after seeing gp last which seems to have sorted the bleeding and reduced the nausea but I just wish I could know for sure. Is the blood test clear cut? Does it have a name?

Evening all

Just had my blood test results today and am peri, just trying to piece together the symptoms and what I need to know. All advice welcome tia

Hi I’m 43 & new to mumsnet.
I’m just really looking for any advice really. I started the perimenopause over a year ago. Recently I’m really struggling 😳
Mainly really itchy skin, I’m hardly sleeping, keep feeling strange, like dizziness but it’s hard to explain, My periods are either a few days early or a few days late. I can be in so much pain, especially my breasts & really bloat yet I hardly have anything during my period.
I’m a single mum of 2 and work full time with SEN children.
Any tips or suggestions on herbal aids would be greatly appreciated.
It’s so hard to explain to people how I feel, but I’m hoping that someone on here can relate.
Thank you in advance 😊

I just wanted to offer up a supplement suggestion that works for me in particular the anxiety and sudden low mood. It’s called Menomin it’s available on Amazon about £20 fir a months supply - not cheap but if you can afford it give it a go, I also take 3 solgar calcium magnesium ad zinc tablets a day and try to get fresh air if I’m feeling very low - as hard as it is to force yourself out it does help. Hope those suggestions help someone because I know I was tearing my hair out

Can I just suggest that for all of you struggling, you see your GP and discuss HRT. There is no need to suffer like this.

Interesting convo on Twitter today from meno experts / drs criticising some GPs for believing peri doesn't warrant HRT.

How early in peri should you think about HRT? Noticing what I think may be symptoms at 47 (shortening menstrual cycle, more headaches) but not sure when to head off to GP as I'm feeling okay so far. Main concern at the mo is preserving bone density - women in my family def get shorter with age.

I had to fight for it - they wanted me on ADs but i knew it was hormonal (age 46, erratic periods, heart palpitations, 2 weeks of depression/anger then ok again)

now i am on it my GP boasts that this is the standard regime for women (gel and utrogrestan) and i am a bit....um yes that is what i suggested in the first place fgs.

Any advise on uti prevention? Seems determined to get me.