Peri-Menopause Support Thread

[OldEnglishSheepDog]

Hello – would anyone else be interested in an ongoing peri-menopause support thread? I would love to chat with other people going through this utterly miserable experience.

Here’s my story. I’m 38, I have one child. We had hoped for another but after two rounds of IVF we decided to be grateful for what we had. Last month, after a few symptoms started making themselves evident, I went to the doctor for a blood test which confirmed that I am now officially peri-menopausal.
I’m starting this thread because I have never felt quite so lonely and scared as I do right now. The physical symptoms of hot flushes and occasional but intense headaches are bad but there is a whole new world of anxiety, depression and existential angst which has opened up since around November. I suffer palpitations which send me into a panic. I fret about my relationship while simultaneously withdrawing from it. Yesterday, I cried at a Radio 4 programme about The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy. I have quit alcohol completely. I am eating more healthily than I ever have before and exercising regularly and yet my middle has thickened and refuses to budge no matter what I do.

I find the menopause support web pages patronising. They seem to want to paint the whole experience as a new and exciting chapter as opposed to the slow death that it seems like at the moment. So I wanted to start a support thread that acknowledges the darkest aspects of this experience and allows us to wallow a bit before providing some practical suggestions.

If I end up just screaming into the abyss on my own, that’s fine. But if anyone else wants to join in, please do.

Hello, first post in here, I'm just 41, been suffering hot flushes daily for a few months, only the last few weeks that I'm now definite that they aren't hot weather/virus/illness related. Along with the flushes I'm getting migraines, dizzyess and a fizzy head, which is fun. I'm currently not a candidate for HRT as I'm on other hormonal meds to control endometriosis.

Anyway, I thought I was handling it quite well; normally a change in hormones leaves me a wreck and angry and horrible but I just let myself down... I spilled a bit of coffee and nearly threw things across the room in frustration.

I broke the thread :(

I hope not @Em3978! I’m browsing this forum as I’m having what I think are hot flushes and maybe night sweats? It’s only been a couple of weeks though. It just feels like my internal thermostat is broken. Also have low level anxiety, irregular periods and some of the other symptoms mentioned here..... but I also have a 21 month old who I’m still breastfeeding so am really not sure what the root cause is. I just turned 39 this year and I am a bit gutted to think this could a) go on for aaages b) has started now. If it is menopause!

39/40 just seems so young doesn't it. My Mum was early 40s though.
I asked the Doc today if there was any way of blood testing or something, but because I have the Implant it apparently won't work. She asked when my last period was and i just laughed because I can't actually remember how many years ago it was! I guess i'll just carry on with it then...

@Em3978 I think I’ll need to wait and see too. No history of early ish menopause in my family, but the breastfeeding is going to throw things out of whack. Maybe I should go to doctors to rule out any thing else...

Just coming back to this as I’ve seen a few posts from people about peri-menopause. I’ve been tracking my symptoms, which are frankly all over the place and I just started my period. I can’t remember when my last one was but in the last 8 weeks?

Anyway, I went to the doctors who were quite helpful. The Gp I saw checked for markers of other things (pulse, blood pressure), checked weight and I’m the heaviest I’ve ever been... he ordered a whole load of blood tests including various hormones and thyroid function. Told me it would probably come back normal but to keep tracking symptoms as really they needed about three months of data to see a pattern. Told me to come back if I had any other symptoms in the meantime.

So I’ve been tracking and no more hot flushes (wth) but some very weepy days, random anxiety, spots. Feels like pmt turned up to 11!

Got blood results back and my fsh levels were higher than might be expected although not clinically significant, so they’ve requested a retest. I have an appointment with the doctor (who saw me last year when I went in with elevated anxiety - hormonally related, who knows).

I just really feel in my gut something is up. I think I might want to continue symptom tracking for a bit though before I look at hrt or pill as I’d guess the second blood test will be inconclusive too. There’s too many confounding factors for me: sleep deprivation, financial stress, still breastfeeding. If I get hot flushes back though I will push harder. They were miserable!

I can’t remember reading this thread but did anyone do pill rather than hrt? I felt low level crazy when I was younger and on the pill so I’ve always avoided it.

Hello ladies,
I’m so glad I’v found this, I’v spent most of tonight reading through all comments.
I’m 46 and have just been prescribed Novofem, apparently I’m peri menopausel.
Bloods have been taken and irregular periods, a few restless nights, drenched...
But not really any other symptoms.
I’m pretty nervous about taking HRT as I also have an under active thyroid.
Just wondering if anyone has taken these and their thoughts on this?
Side affects?

@reetgood I think pretty much have matched your symptoms! Haven't been back to the GP for a year or so as last time I went they didn't find anything much wrong - just prescribed iron tablets as I was having very heavy periods. But yes, lots of anxiety here, and I thought I'd left the spots behind years ago

I'm taking a good multivitamin, cod liver oil and Q10. Haven't seen anything else that looked massively helpful although I also know that I need to lose weight, at least a couple of stone. Worried that the GP will point that out if I do go

Hi again.
So I saw a different GP this week (for other reasons) and while I was there asked (or rather DH did as I brought him for backup through the brainfog) again about menopause symptoms/tests /treatments etc. Got a completely different answer than last time and might yet get a hormone level blood test (fsh?). As I'm youngish there's the option of HRT if we can't find another fix in the meantime.
I'm trialling a slightly different meds regime to see if it'll reduce the flushes and have to go back again in a few weeks if no help.
I wish GPs all read from the same hymn book on these things...

Oh my god yes yes yes! I know this is an old post but I feel so lonely. I'm currently sitting here with heartburn from a hiatal hernia and a terrible headache. My entire chin is covered in spots and I just feel so anxious and flat. Solidarity to you all xxx

That's interesting @Em3978 as my GP said there were no specific tests they could (would!) do for me - more treat the symptoms - but I am so utterly knackered that anything would have helped!! They only offered transexamic acid for the very heavy periods and said they would do more blood tests in a few months if my inflammatory markers hadn't reduced

Sending you @Unusualusernames!

A got told a was on menopause at 34. No cancer or history. It's killing me tbh. Sorry xxx

I've just been catching up with this thread, my blood results showed I was borderline peri-menopausal about a year ago. Since then, my cycle has changed, I've had night sweats, being forgetful, dizziness, nausea.

Currently, the night sweats have disappeared but the nausea has worsened. The part I'm struggling with most, is that I've put on so much weight. I have no idea the best way to try to lose it. In the past, I've low carbed but it doesn't seem to be making much difference now.

Hello. I wondered if I could join? I'm 31, found out last year after trying IVF that my AMH is 3.7 (ovarian count of someone in their 40s) and that my eggs were not suitable for fertilising. My cycles had been getting shorter and shorter with constant spotting so in January this year, having accepted I won't be able to have my own genetic children, I went back on the pill to stabilise things. For the past 3 months I've been having hot flushes, waking up throughout the night, terrible anxiety, etc despite being on the pill. My GP has referred me to a menopause clinic (appointment tomorrow) as she said she can't test me without 3 months off the pill and she's concerned about the effect that will have on my symptoms. On top of the isolation at being childless, with little hope of a child, when all of your friends are having babies, now I'm menopausal and I do feel very alone. My husband is great, but it's not the same as having someone who really understands.

I'm almost 44 and my period is now once every 26 days. Hooray for more frequent, heavier periods. I keep meaning to go to the gynaecologist but never bother making an appointment. Suggestions welcome. I remember reading about microwave ablation here... anyone done this?

@RestorationInsanity so sorry to hear your story. I hope the menopause clinic was/ is helpful and that your GP finds something else to offer you to help

@BlackSwan would a coil help with your symptoms? GP offered that to me for similar reasons but then decided it wouldn't be the best option.

@YouSawThePlans same for me with low carbing!!

Not sure if I’m in Peri but I’m getting a lot of mood changes - feels like the PMT I had when I was a teen. Also getting some period cramps which I haven’t had for years. My periods have got a bit heavier overall but reasonably regular still, although I was a week late last month.

I’m definitely getting brain fog, my children have jokingly said I’m getting dementia(!) as repeat myself or forget what they have told me about their plans. My patience levels have dropped and I get irritable quickly over small things. I’ve been getting more anxious over things that wouldn’t generally bother me. I’ve been a pretty relaxed chilled out person most of my life and usually quite sharp with things but I’m starting to feel like I’ve got stupid. I get night sweats on occasion and leave the window open at night unless the weather is really bad. I’m the person always opening windows at work!

I’m 43, approaching 44 in a few months. Does this sound like Peri?

@Tumbleweed101 my mood changes sound much like yours!! When I think back, at my age my DM was dealing with stroppy teenage me plus all these symptoms..... obviously I had no understanding of that (and a teenager, not known for their empathy!) but she was definitely opening windows at every opportunity and telling us all how hot it was even when freezing cold.

From what I've read yes, it does sound like peri - could/ would you visit your GP for help? Or is everything (reasonably) ok for now? I'm at pretty much the same stages as you and don't think there's much they could do for me, but I am seeing a dietitian in the New Year to see if there's any changes I could make in that direction, as I could definitely eat more healthily and help myself that way.

Hi - I probably won’t go to the GP - at least for now. It’s just reassuring knowing things are ‘normal’ and I’m not going crazy lol.

If it's any consolation @Tumbleweed101... I've had the radiator off in the bedroom for ages as (like you) I get hot at night - never used to but now...! Switched it on a little bit last night as it was quite chilly; by this morning I was boiling hot and sweaty. It's going back off!!

I did the same and regretted it lol.

Can I join in?

I'm 47 and am convinced I've been peri for about 4 years now. I had a really heavy long period around 4 years ago, they'd always been 4/5 days long with minimal bleeding, but since then they last anything from 6-10 days with flooding, clots, the works.

I'm having hot flushes in the night, brain fog at work, thinning hair everywhere! and have literally no interest in sex at all. To top it all, this month I've had the longest period ever, 22 days now, although it does appear to be tapering off finally. I've tried all week to get a drs appointment but there's nothing available at all.

I'm considering a Mirena coil but keep reading horror stories about bleeding that goes on for months. Not sure I could cope with that.

Does anything help with the weepiness/anxiety?

I got ridiculously wound up about a minor thing last week. It wasn't how I am with PMT.

Thank you @RubySlippers77. Consultant confirmed diagnosis based on symptoms alone. He said there's no point testing as it's not always accurate, and won't change the treatment. Hot flushes are infrequent, and sleep has improved but I'm struggling with achey joints!

I'm going to join the Daisy Network for some support, and my yoga teacher has been invaluable (as has yoga!)!

Can I join in? Horribly weepy for the last month. I had two tests. First indicated peri, second didn't. Dr said I likely was. I'm 45. I don't want hrt as I have blood pressure issues.

I wondered if any of you have issues with a low temperature? I'm taking mine and I'm about 0.5 to 1c under the 37c average all the time but often feeling shivery.

Not sure if it's post viral or connected to low iron which is also an ongoing battle.

I feel so flat all the time...and utterly exhausted. Dr has kind of washed her hands now iron gone up to almost 50 and I don't want hrt.