Peri-Menopause Support Thread

[OldEnglishSheepDog]

Hello – would anyone else be interested in an ongoing peri-menopause support thread? I would love to chat with other people going through this utterly miserable experience.

Here’s my story. I’m 38, I have one child. We had hoped for another but after two rounds of IVF we decided to be grateful for what we had. Last month, after a few symptoms started making themselves evident, I went to the doctor for a blood test which confirmed that I am now officially peri-menopausal.
I’m starting this thread because I have never felt quite so lonely and scared as I do right now. The physical symptoms of hot flushes and occasional but intense headaches are bad but there is a whole new world of anxiety, depression and existential angst which has opened up since around November. I suffer palpitations which send me into a panic. I fret about my relationship while simultaneously withdrawing from it. Yesterday, I cried at a Radio 4 programme about The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy. I have quit alcohol completely. I am eating more healthily than I ever have before and exercising regularly and yet my middle has thickened and refuses to budge no matter what I do.

I find the menopause support web pages patronising. They seem to want to paint the whole experience as a new and exciting chapter as opposed to the slow death that it seems like at the moment. So I wanted to start a support thread that acknowledges the darkest aspects of this experience and allows us to wallow a bit before providing some practical suggestions.

If I end up just screaming into the abyss on my own, that’s fine. But if anyone else wants to join in, please do.

@pamplemoussed The British Menopause Society have a list of specialists on there - you can search for one on your area. For some reason the specialists near me are all men!!

@pamplemoussed I could have written your post 4 years ago, exactly the same situation! I was advised to get a mirena coil as I was dangerously anemic from the floody periods but put it off until I was so ill I gave in and got one. It has been miraculous, my periods reduced immediately until they disappeared completely (I have been period free for 3 1/2 years) wish I'd got one years ago. I added oestrogen patches about 6 months ago as was getting more and more awful symptoms, brain fog, exhaustion through insomnia and hot flushes and night sweats. All of my horrid symptoms have gone and I feel fantastic.

Find yourself another gp, at the very least you should have an ultrasound and gyne referral for the periods just to see what's going on.

thanks all - very thoughtful advice. I really appreciate it!

Have finally faced up to the fact I'm peri menopausal and so glad I've found this thread.

I'm 47

On the whole my symptoms haven't been too horrific. Hit and miss cycle and some aches/weight gain but no hot flushes.

BUT what does bother me is the screaming rage!! Literally everything and everyone winds me up to explosion within seconds. Am at home with DC (teens) over the summer hols and even just opening their mouths has me snapping at them.

Even our poor dog just takes herself off to her bed. I hate it and hate myself for being so vile.

I exercise and do yoga but it doesn't nothing for my temperament. There is a absolutely no reason for me to be like this.

Is it worth investigating HRT or is that primarily for physical symptoms? All I know is that if I don't do something DH and DC are likely to chuck me down a well!

Tomorrow is my ultrasound. Feeling ultra(!) nervous - not so much about the procedure but more at the idea something more sinister than menopause might be going on, even though, logically, I know it's unlikely

Well everything looked normal in my ultrasound so I guess I just wait til the next blood test now. I don't have any other menopausal symptoms - just lack of periods.

I'm not sure if anyone has mentioned this already, so apologies..

How do you know if you are peri if you are on the mini pill and don't get periods? Ive been getting night sweats, weight gain and a few other 'symptoms' etc but not idea if this is peri or not, nor how id tell as no periods anyway.
Im 43. My mum started symptoms early 40s and ended menopause by 50, also suffers osteoporosis .

Thanks

Hello
Does anyone on here take Tamoxifen?
I've been on it for a year. I've not had a period since I had my copper coil removed, which is 40 days without. I can't work out if that's the peri-menopause starting or not.

Dorsetcamping I totally empathise with your rage. I’m mid forties with terrible rage which when it comes seems to take over.I feel like I have PMT all the time. I’ve found myself being wound up by most things.

I’m also sprouting hair on my neck and chin. Argh help.

@venusmay the Phillips Lumea has done wonder for the chin hairs I was getting.

I've been referred to the gynae clinic as my blood tests showed raised FSH levels, so I think they'll suggest HRT because of my age. Am in two minds about it

Thanks Pineapple I will try the Phillips Lumea. I’ve resorted to pulling the hair out myself due to the coarseness and volume of it.

Good that you have been referred to gynae,hopefully things will soon start to improve.

It’s made me wonder if I should get tested by my surgery too.

@venusmay and dorsetcamping

I'm 47 and the rage has been happening recently. I feel horrible afterwards. My boys are 8 and 5 and I've been occasionally snapping without being able to control it. I'd like to not terrify the hell out of them. I yelled uncontrollably this morning because one of them was putting school socks. Ridiculous.

I practice yoga too. I've found that meditation has helped me finding perspective and getting more grounded. There are meditations for hormones in Kundalini yoga, that I might investigate.

Just placemarking I'm 37 and diagnosed peri, prescribed elleste 1mg but unable to get a supply, glad to have found a place to discuss relevant info and hoping recent MH issues (understatement) will be helped when I can get HRT

@HearMeRawwr the independent pharmacy have elleste in stock if you are desperate but will cost more than an nhs prescription charge, they supply 3 months at a time, I think 1mg costs about £28.

hi, not sure if on right page , but here goes. would love some advice on the tablets i have been prescribed by doctor for menopause, they are called clonidine , i have to take 2 in the morning and 2 at night, each tablet is 25mg, i was told i could increase to 3 if felt needed to, so the past week i have , but although the hot flushes have but all gone , i am soooo tired !!! was thinking of going back to 2 , what do you guys think,

Absolutely go back to the gp, clonidine is a drug used to lower blood pressure and treat anxiety and adhd. In the past it has been used to treat hot flushes but it's a very out dated thing now for menopause. If you are menopausal and are having trouble with symptoms it's HRT you need not blood pressure meds as your symptoms are due to declining oestrogen. Take a look at the menopause matters website it will give you an idea of your options. I can't believe in this day and age that gps are still doing this it's totally inappropriate and negligent.
Have a read of the NICE guidelines on menopause and maybe print off a copy to take to the docs and if you have no joy then find another gp.

Ditto what rosie said.

These alternatives to HRT are used for women who have had serious diseases (cancer etc) and who can't use HRT.

Blood pressure drugs like all drugs have side effects - one of them being to lower BP of course so if yours is normal what the heck does your GP think it's going to do except make you feel weird???

Just thought I'd pop in to say that I've been menopausal for over a year now, after 5 years being perimenopausal. The peri years were absolutely horrendous, especially the last two. I really thought I was going crazy.

Tried HRT and it made everything worse for me, so carried on as I could. Well now that I'm officially menopausal, I am feeling soooooooo much better, as a matter, best I've felt in almost 10 years taking no supplement at all.

I do have the occasional mild hot flushes, the mild night sweat, sleep is still not what it used to be, much a lot better than it was a year ago, and physically I feel great.

So just to say, it is possible to have a nightmarish time in peri but feel fine after the menopause has finally fallen upon us. This is the one thing I had in common with my mum, she too struggled during the peri phase but sailed through the menopause.

Has anyone got rid of dizzyness themselves?

dizziness was my worse symptoms and got so bad that I fainted a few times. It lasted for quite some time and then suddenly subsided. It used to be much worse in the mornings. It's now 99% gone on no medication.

Hi ,
I’d like to join this thread if I may . I haven’t been officially diagnosed peri but going off how I feel I think it’s likely . Recently had a blood test for iron deficiency and thyroid which came back fine so I’m planning to go and see the doctor again .
I’m 44 and have always suffered pms, anxiety and chronic migraine. The migraine has impacted my life big time and i now don’t work. Recently I have been much much worse before periods and around ovulation . Crying at anything , really down , anxious , exhausted . My thinking gets all ridiculous but i can’t see it at the time . My hair has changed , I’ve gained weight , my gums bleed ( dentist can see nothing wrong ) and my last period was 10 days after the one before it . Been like clockwork previously .
I’ve read that some doctors won’t test hormones as they fluctuate so much but I’d really like a definitive answer . I just feel so up and down and Unlike myself 🙁

Hello everyone I'm so glad I've found this thread. I'm 40 and over the past 18 months I now realise I've been experiencing quite the shift.

It's been a bit of a light bulb moment tonight after finishing my most recent period and feeling seriously down and depressed. Life is tough at times and I've got a demanding job so I think I've been blaming my symptoms on stress.

So a list of what's been going on;

• Heart palpitations mostly at night, had them checked via ECG with no follow up. These have stopped over the past 2 months.
• Regular periods bar one that came 4 days late cycle before last.
• Very bad mood swings that I've not historically suffered from during menstruation.
• One period cycle I woke up with night sweats, not happened since.
• Horrible and unexplained anxiety, a general

loss of confidence and self worth

• I swear my hair is thinning, I've cut it shorter hoping that it will encourage growth (perhaps that's a vain attempt!)
• Upset and often gassy tummy that is there on and off throughout the month.
• Some level of urgency with taking a pee although not all the time.

I'm sure there are more but upshot is I'm making a GP appointment as I dread the thought of it being peri and lasting for, what could be, a number of years. Quite honestly I've found
turning 40 to have been a rather traumatic experience but I wonder whether much of that is down to peri? I think my mum went through menopause in her late 40's which I'm led to believe can be indicative of when I'm likely to experience it.

Listing the symptoms I've been experiencing is pointing in the general direction of peri, I wish I could embrace it and am sure I will at some point but I'm starting to dread my cycle .

Did you ask for any medication swingofthings? I'm dithering about going to the doctor.

First time on this particular thread.

Yesterday I came on...again. I only had a period (lasting 5.5 days) starting the 2nd September.
I keep forgetting things, literally could not remember a colleague’s name today (had to discreetly check his phone display 😕).
Tired, totally off sex etc.
I am usually regular as clockwork.
By the way, I was 55 in August!
Is this the peri menopause!!

@MinnieMountain, I was given the drugs that is given to people who suffer from Meniere's disease but it didn't help. The cardiologist said there was nothing I could take.

Reducing stress did help as doing breathing exercises, and then it just went as it came.