WEST LONDON MEET-UP THREAD - MARCH 2007 (REST OF) - from Acton to Sunbury everybody welcom

[mellow2]

Hi,

Got this started 'cos I think the other thread is going to run out before the end of tomorrow.

oh Sue that is awful i am sorry, is it middle age crankiness or general just being an arse thing?

You could always send a nice Easter card to his DDs from your DS and entice them. Then they will nag their dad about want to see their lovely cousin. Just a bit of fun, you know .

SFX, I think it is a combination of both with a bit of selfish git mixed in.

Sorry Sue ,but he needs a damn big kick up the arse. I can't express my outrage at his behaviour. . That is so self centred and thoughtless. Surely they should al be taking time to get to know the new member of the family and revelling in spending time with you and ds as a family.

I've not had a good experience with either sister or brother and my lovely DS - my sister signed a letter agreeing to be the babies guardian for the kazakh authorities and announced "of course I would actually have him if anything happened to you".

That was before she met him but I suspect the answer hasn't changed

that should read "I wouldn't actually have him..."

Sue do you generally have a good relationship with your siblings?

well I had previously thought so, but am discovering perhaps not as good as I thought.

I think being the youngest and they had their children so much younger that they just got used to me putting myself out for them (after all, I was only one and they were many). They have obviously not worked out why I am close to their children now - or maybe they just don't care.

I don't know what to say. Is there any chance you could appeal to his better nature (if he has one) and explain the importance of this for you and ds as it is early days in your parent/child/extended family relationship?

My God, Sue. Tell them to eat shit. This is not normal behaviour for families. My family doesn't act like and believe youme they are no shining example of normalcy. Your brother and sister are really being complete wankers.

I'm such a potty mouth tonight... must be the beer.

i am sorry Sue that is outrageous behaviour you should really let them know how they have made you feel, people get used to taking others for granted, family or not. i hope they come to their senses for their sake really, otherwise they will miss out big time

I think I was doubly shocked because it would never occur to me that anyone in my family would admit to such a thing. I can't beleive he didn't realise how hurtful it would be for me. To be honest, I don't really want to appeal to his better nature , the genie is out of the bottle now I would always know he was doing it on sufferance.

I'm leaning towards the Eleusis approach at the moment. My carefully crafted speech currently has got as far as "fuck off then, you selfish tosser"

I know that its unreasonable of me to think that everyone will adore my DS as much as I do (though can't think why thats unreasonable at the moment) but would it have killed him to say "oh dear we can't manage the whole weekend as we've double booked but would love to come over for one night and spend the day with you"?

I think you need to confront him and say "Right what's the problem?" Otherwose this is only going to get worse. What are you going to do at Christmas?

yes go with the speech you have so far sounds fine to me

at Xmas I think I will prepare a similar speech slightly modified - "fuck off you selfish tosser, oh and Merry Xmas"

Sue as a family we do things we may not necessarily want to do, put in more effort when we dont feel like it etc. However in my experience whenever there is a new addition in my neck of the woods we all love spending time together even if that means disturbed nights etc. Sorry they don't see that they should offer you (and ds) the same respect you have offered them in the past.

Honestly Cov - the house is sooooo enormous that it wouldn't be difficult to find a room far enough away from DS to be undisturbed.

Sue, with all due respect, can I offer an amendment?

"fuck off you selfish tosser, oh and Merry fucking Xmas"

and Cov, I agree with you, I've always thought that was teh attitude we all had in our family. Bt only apparently applies to his darling DD's and now he is "too old" to bother. He's 47 not 77.

I can't believe how angry I am on DS's behalf, he deserves better than this.

No what I meant is despite the chance of being disturbed by the new members of the family we still get together. Can younot speak to them and sort this out before it turns nasty? I would just hate that at this fabulous time in your life that things turn sour for you and ds.

Am going away to try to calm down about it...

OOOOOOHHHHH MMMMMMYYYYY GOD!

What a shit! Sorry Sue, I know he's your brother but he IS being a complete shit!

I'd go with Ele's words! Can you not ring him and ask what his problem is? Slip in that that you were hoping for your DS to have the kind of love from him and your sister that their DCs got from you when they were younger. As for your sister, flippin heck!

Sorry, that really doesn't make you feel better but selfish people really piss me off expecially if you've always made teh effort with them. Sfx's right, it is THEIR loss.

Sue - sorry to hear about your brother, they can be such insensitive little shits but seeing as you have had a good relationship with him in the past, I am sure once you have a stern honest chat, things will be fine. I know with my own brother I can say some pretty heartless things but because he is my bro I assume he will just take it and then ignore it esp as on the whole I don't mean what I say! Sibling relationship can be very strange at times!