I am sorry I do not want to drag all of this up again but I do feel that there are some things that ought to be made clear. I will bow out and not having a reason to 'flounce' before I may just use this to take a bit of time out and hopefully come back with a new persepective but at the moment I am feeling as if I can not write anything without it being taken out of context. I was unaware of all of this going on yesterday as I was not able to come on line due to other committments. I therefore knew nothing of this fiasco until I read it by accident this evening.
Firstly I would like to thank those MNetters who came to my defence with regard to my calling Sharklet a 'Bitch' I was not calling anyone a 'bitch' but as Aloha and Beetroot and others stated I was responding to the title of the thread. I would not dream of calling you a bitch and I am very hurt by the suggestion that I called you personally a bitch 4 times.
A copy of the post is below. I apologise for not being articulate but I felt that I did explain that I was not bitching about you in my last line.
From the thread entittled 'London Meet-Up Bitch Fest'
Early on in the thread it was mentioned that Sharklet had been there during the evening, so I was confused.
"Please can some tell me, WAS SHARKLET THERE? I paid for the hotel room that we were supposed to share and I think it is a bit off, if she did come....bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch......
Not really bitching....but I would like to know if the Large room that I had to myself I should have shared???? "
I received an email from Crunchie at 17.18 pm on 21/11/2005
It is below with Crunchie and Sharklets RL names crossed out.
Bunglie
Sharklet says hi!! Since you are sharing a room, she wanted to say hello. I did explain you are in a wheelchair, but I didn't tell her anymore, that's up to you.
BTW have you decided what you are wearing yet?
I am doing black velvet jeans, but cannot decide on the shoes
XXXXXXX(Crunchie)
- Original Message -
From: XXXXX(Sharklet)
To: XXXXXXX(Crunchie)
Sent: Monday, November 21, 2005 5:14 PM
Subject: Re: Sharklet from Crunchie
Hi Crunchie,
Yes thats fine. I did try to CAT her to say hi but she doesn't accept CATs - if you have her email could you forward her my email and tell her I said hello in advance of sharing a room.
Thanks
Sharklet x
On 11/21/05, Crunchie
wrote:
So you are sorted to share with Bunglie then? Cool.
Looking forward to meeting you
Crunchie
- Original Message -
From: Sharklet
To:
Sent: Monday, November 21, 2005 4:44 PM
Subject: Re: Sharklet from Crunchie
Hi Crunchie,
That sounds great. I think I'll probably arrive in time to "tart up" as well. I'll drop Bunglie a line and say hello so she knows who I am. Looking forward to it now - got to agonise over what to wear etc. now - as you do!
Thanks
Sharklet x
On 11/17/05, wrote:
Sharklet,
Sorry your email is at home so I wanted to confirm I have booked the hotel. Montana Hotel very near the restaurant. I think you will be sharing with Bunglie - (my real name), if that's OK. The cost is £70 a room, but you don't need to pay until you get there, it is held using my CC.
I am planning to arrive about 4.30 ish so I can go and have a cup of tea, shower, tart up etc etc
I hope this is OK
Crunchie
At no point was I given Sharklets email address, Only later did I get Crunchies mobile number. Crunchie did give me her mobile number on 25/11/2005 at 09.43am. In an email explaining that we would sort money out when we got there and that the rooms are booked and secured in her RL name should I get there before her. I did not arrive before Crunchie and we waited until 7.15 pm before deciding to go on ahead and we left a message with the male receptionist that we had gone on ahead, as we were still the only 2 who had arrived.
Sharklet you state that I did not respond to your email. I did not email you back because I did not have an email address but I did CAT you. I do not receive CAT's as several years ago I got a rather nasty one so I chose not to use the service but I did give you my email address in the CAT. I emailed Crunchie at 15.32pm on 24/11/2005 and told her that I had responded to your email. At Breakfast on the morning of the 27th and you had not arrived and we therefore assumed that you had not come I agreed to pay for the room that we were going to share as it seemed unfair that the others should pay for something that they did not have. Both Cruncie and I said that we would try and contact you because we were genuinly worried. No one did anything on purpose and I am sorry if you think I called you a 'bitch' and slagged you off, I in fact went out of my way to try to not do this as I had read by now that your dd was ill and I did not want you to have to worry about paying for a room that you did not use especially as your dd was ill. So I would like to know what more you expected of me. bearing in mind I did not have access to a computer yesterday (28th)?
I left home at 12.15pm and travelled on my own for over 250 miles to Waterloo Station and spent £20 on a Black Cab, (as they have to be wheelchair accessable by law). I then had to shuffle on my bum up the steps to the Hotel while two men carried my wheelchair. Cold and undignified, but for the price and proximaty I felt Crunchie had done a brilliant job in getting this 'deal' with the hotel. I arrived like you on my own and explained who I was and was asked if I was my RL name or Bunglie as they (2 male receptionists) had a list of both, given to them by Crunchie.
As I have stated we waited until 7.15pm before we finally left, but we were both worried that there had been 'problems' as you had not arrived. Crunchie made certain with the Male receptionist that You may well arrive shortly and expect us to be there so to tell you where it was and that we had gone. I know that Crunchie did not feel happy about this but neither of us knew what else to do. What would you have done?
When I asked Crunchie for address and telephone number for the hotel, she sent me an email with their web page in and having checked it is in the thread. I am sorry if you feel we did the wrong thing.
I was not able to be on line yesterday to defend myself, hence I am doing now and hopefully drawing a line under this who affair.
Until now I had had a very enjoyable time. I had met people who have supported me when I have needed it and I was overcome on more than one ocassion by people understanding and generosity of thought. I do and always have thought that Mumsnet is a very special place. It is only cliquey in my opinion if you make it or perseive it to be. But I am afraid that after such a pleasant evening, which did actually have me resorting to tears because of the nice things people were saying about something that happened years ago. I had always avoided meet-ups before because I felt that it may not be right for me to go but I felt comfortable about going to this one on the 26th and I was assured that if I thought that I could manage I would be welcome. I never have, nor will I ever use my disability. It was for this reason that Mumsnet was so good, no one could see me, judge me or knew unless I chose to tell them that I am in a wheelchair. Cyberspace certainly brought me a lot of friends, and people knew me not a person who sits in a wheelchair which happens so often. I was nervous about going, Crunchie told me to 'calm down' I was worried about you, because I thought when you see me and my medical equipment you might not want to share. In fact it took a lot of courage for me to come, only to find that all my worries were silly and unnecessary, but I now feel that all that I have acheived, those who I met and I could go on has been 'soured' because you have assumed and stated that I called you a 'Bitch' not in jest, not in the vein of the thread, but that I would be nasty enough to do something so petty.
I was more worried about you and your dd, I left a message saying not to worry about the cost of the room as I had it all to myself so I paid for it all.I am now hurt to log on today to find that you think these things of me.
I am hurt and I am now tired of this matter and I feel that I shall have a break from mumsnet and I hope that the new year will allow me to put things in proportion again and that I can re-new friendships. I am sad that I feel I have lost something which has helped me through some very difficult times but I also realise that this is my decission, and that you are in no way making me go or anything as petty. I just feel that a break would be a good thing for a short while.
I would still like to thank Custy and Crunchie for their tireless amount of arranging and I hope that we have all learnt a valuable lesson.
As a post script I said at the table that I have never had a 'flounce' or a reason to, so peraps I should be thanking you Sharklet, as I can now appreciate the 'full' Mumsnet experience!
Love to all,
Bunglie XX