Crabby great posts and the neural pathways things is definitely right and shows why when you change the behaviour it takes a lot of repetitions before you lose your default setting.
and Trash and others that have mentioned this I absolutely agree about getting your feelings back when you give up your way of stuffing them down. And that "sitting with your feelings" things that therapists are so fond of mentioning is so hard. I manage to find other ways of dealing with it - I journal, and have started art-journalling intermittently with encouragement from my counsellor and they both help - but when I feel bad the motivation to actually do it is hard to find. The sitting with it I don't manage very well at all - a kind of acceptance that doesn't try to make the feelings change - but isn't it natural to try and cheer yourself up? Whether by creating something, or going out for some fresh air, or distracting yourself, etc... but I guess I am also getting better at saying it's ok... to grieve and hurt, without forcing it away, just trying to keep going while feeling it.
thumb how scary - glad you coped so well with it
ElBombero I also think you are giving yourself such a hard time. I know life is difficult just now, and maybe pre-children weight feels like something you can fix? You're doing amazingly well, but mostly I really hope you can get to enjoy food again.
Chester glad you are straight back on the wagon
So many other powerful posts yesterday. I think all addicts shapeshift tbh - food is an easy one to shift to, because it's encouraged in early sobriety. I think love/ sex is another big one too.
I think I've got dairy issues. I would have said before bootcamp I was sensitive to dairy and used soya milk and yogurt, although I had successfully reintroduced cheese shortly after withdrawing dairy 2 years ago. Starting bootcamp I increased my dairy massively, and ditched soya yogurt as I couldn't find one without polyols in, and so have dairy daily, sometimes quite a lot, in the form of yogurt and cream and cream cheese and cheese. My digestive issues aren't too bad, probably because of giving up wheat - but I had a cold with sinusitis for a couple of weeks and this week I just can't shift the sinus symptoms - which were what I had trouble with for years and years until I gave up dairy.
So. I probably need to withdraw it, the soya yogurt will have to do, it doesn't need cream in the same way (because of the polyols!), no cream in vegetables, or cream cheese, and probably withdraw cheese for a while too. A week isn't long enough - 2-3 is the minimum. But. My sinuses might get better anyway. And a bigger but, what if it makes this WOE unsustainable for me? I have kept to it like nothing before and I'm enjoying my food and I don't want to struggle with carby temptations just because I've made it too restrictive.
Sorry to witter on about relatively minor stuff - struggling with the right decision.
Oh, and I went swimming and it finally doesn't feel like swimming through jelly!! Slow ketoadaptation at the same time as post op recovery has meant that I've not picked it up nearly as fast and it's been a bit of a struggle rather than my usual enjoyment.