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Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

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Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Lone parents

I dont normally do controversial threads but

85 replies

starshaker · 12/05/2010 17:15

There seems to be a lot of people getting slated for being on benefits and being a lone parent. However whenever people post things about their dp/dh in relationships its full of people saying leave him. I was 1 of the people who kept being told to leave my H (cos he was a cheating arse). Since leaving i have had to rely on benefits to survive. I dont have family around to help with childcare and there are no childminders round here. So i am now a single mum on benefits and im also pregnant with twins (drunken mistake, but wouldnt change it for the world). Before i became a single mum i was at uni studying and working. But because i eventually decided i didnt deserve to be treated like crap i kicked him out.

Becoming a lone parent and relying on benefits is not an easy decision to make but i felt it was my only option for my own and my dd's sake

I will put my hat on and prepare to be told im a scrounger

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GypsyMoth · 12/05/2010 17:23

i'm stood next to you with my hat on also!

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starshaker · 12/05/2010 17:41

Maybe hard hat not required. Or maybe people see controversial and dont even look.

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overmydeadbody · 12/05/2010 17:44

Benefits are there to help people like you (and me once upon a time) survive when there are very few other options.

It's only those people who make it a full time lifestyle choice who are scroungers, the ones who think the world owes them a favour and benefits are their right.

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GypsyMoth · 12/05/2010 17:46

wrong time of day i guess.....tea,bath,bed etc.....i'll bump it up tonight.

i had to escape an abusive,then mentally ill ex husband....4 dc in a refuge,thrown onto benefits.....had no choice on that

settled in a new home now....time for me to try to get off the benefits (i have also had another child since)...

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starshaker · 12/05/2010 17:48

I was accepted into 3 unis this year (would have involved moving) but the twins have ment this has to go on hold.

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ninah · 12/05/2010 17:49

I blame the government
and we've seen nothing yet
but there were lots on that thread defending lone ps on benefits too

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GypsyMoth · 12/05/2010 18:06

which thread?

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ninah · 12/05/2010 18:12

The one i saw was well done DC for getting rid of the entitlement culture rah rah

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fairydusty · 12/05/2010 18:19

There is an entitlement culture in this country - some people are out for what they can get and constantly play the system - they give people who really need to claim a bad name.

My dh works full time and i work part time and have to put ds into childcare (which is paid for through tax credits) and yes it does annoy me when i see some people spounging off the government when i have to work hard for all i get. Sometimes its single parents, sometimes its families or sometimes single folk either way it winds me up.

People who have no other option but to claim have ever right to do so and shouldn't be slagged for that but sometimes people are just too quick to use their children or marital status as an excuse to not work.

Just my opinion

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GypsyMoth · 12/05/2010 18:19

oh,i have hidden 'politics' section....so am oblivious to it!!

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FabIsGoingToGetFit · 12/05/2010 18:22

What annoys me is a lot of single mothers are single because their feckless ex partners have fucked off but it comes across as the mother isn't good enough to keep a man.

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MoreCrackThanHarlem · 12/05/2010 18:23

I agree with FairyDusty

and it's not a popular view, but if you rely solely on financial support from the government to survive it is irresponsible to have more children

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starshaker · 12/05/2010 18:28

I survive solely on benefits and i am having 2 more children. There was never any consideration that i would get rid of them (been through way to much to do that). So yes i may get more benefits when they arrive but i wont be any better off.

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GypsyMoth · 12/05/2010 18:34

you cant force anyone to terminate a pregnancy....and i would love to see a government try to punish someone for this. pregnancies happen.

more crack....you say 'solely'...why not those claiming working families tax credits too?? dont they get free childcare as well as cash?? they should not have more children either perhaps?

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fairydusty · 12/05/2010 18:36

It is irresponsible to have more children when you know you are not in a position to support the children and as a result of the children being born you are now unable to work for even longer however i wouldn't suggest that you have a termination, just wish some people thought a bit more about having children when they are in that situation

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HerBeatitude · 12/05/2010 18:38

I was seven months pregnant when I was made redundant so I knew I was going to be dependent on benefits. Was I irresponsible?

Be a dear and fuck off why don't you

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GypsyMoth · 12/05/2010 18:40

fairy.....thought? so its totally unheard of to become pregnant by accident then?

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MoreCrackThanHarlem · 12/05/2010 18:41

Tiffany

because those families are working and contributing
that is a whole other issue
if people were paid a fair wage tax credits would not be relied upon by so many

and I did not insinuate that anyone should terminate a pregnancy
I said getting pregnant in the first place whilst unable to support existing children was irresponsible

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fairydusty · 12/05/2010 18:42

No cause you didn't go out and get pregnant while on benefits even though you knew you couldn't support your own child - love it how people can't have discussions without being told to fuck off - the op obviously wanted points of view or why post this thread.

Grow up a little - the place would be really boring if we all agree. Pity you can't just agree to disagree without being abusive!

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foureleven · 12/05/2010 18:43

Where do you live OP where there arent any childminders?

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BosomForAPillow · 12/05/2010 18:43

IloveTIFFANY please tell me how to hide the Politics threads, it's all I ever see in Active Convos and I can't work out how to hide topics.

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foureleven · 12/05/2010 18:43

Sorry, that was a bit confrontational.. just curious!

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Meglet · 12/05/2010 18:43

I'm glad that I live in a country that has a safety net for people whose lives don't run smoothly and mistakes happen.

I get a lot of tax credits but still have to work at least 16 hours as week to pay the bills. I am able to crack on with it (and even then I was flamed the other week for not working full time) but realise that lots of lone parents are not able to work and need benefits to put food on the table.

Those people who really do think it's ok to live off benefits and have no desire to change live pretty crappy lives I reckon. Hardly caviar and champagane is it?

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GypsyMoth · 12/05/2010 18:44

go to customise....sroll down to bottom,tells you how

then spend all night moving topics into 'excluded'!!!

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MoreCrackThanHarlem · 12/05/2010 18:45

HerBeatitude

if you were made redundant at 7 months pregnant you didn't plan a child you were unable to support

and why so defensive?
no one has been rude to you

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