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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Original poster

Where have all the fit, interesting and available men gone (pt 17)

993 replies

Remotew · 18/01/2010 18:03

Has no-one beaten me to it yet?

Juicy sounding good.

WG old friend is worth seeing again.

Second not to arrange a meet up without me. Maybe down south in May.

OP posts:
kdk · 20/02/2010 21:32

oh don't go and destroy my dreams! There was me thinking of a rose-covered cottage with me, the twins and a ..... no, you're right, just can't imagine and keep making myself vomit ...

Ah well, there's always chocolate!

aseriouslyblondemoment · 20/02/2010 21:32

i guess that prob.London or other major cities might be diff.as obv.people move there for work reasons
i was just always eww when i saw men from certain towns
tbh regardless of how gorgeous the man if he has a certain accent then it would be a no go for me

Original poster
Remotew · 20/02/2010 21:36

Theres an area near me that puts me off. Lots of men on dating sites from there as it's industrial and my area is far from it, so I shouldn't write it off as not many available women live there.

I'm off men atm so won't be looking for some time.

OP posts:
ninah · 20/02/2010 21:37

it't more than the accent, asbm, they have no thumbs
you, the twins and what pray kdk? a raddled old farmer freshly back from the pub, with manure still on the backs of his trousers
the nice but tubby man from the post office (free icecreams)
next door's husband just popped over the fence with a six pack (and I don't mean under his shirt)
you sadly romanticise the countryside lol

kdk · 20/02/2010 21:42

Like I said, just couldn't imagine it ... ah, well, think I'm just going to have to accept a lifetime of me, the kids, an account with Lindt, a vineyard of my own - and possibly a trip to Anne Summers for a little something to amuse myself!

Original poster
Remotew · 20/02/2010 21:45

kdk make it a bit something to amuse you. Let's face it most men fail to live up to it. See my earlier posts and thread.

OP posts:
ninah · 20/02/2010 21:47

I am def man free for a while
popping up to London soon, somethign I want to see in Tate, meet old friend etc
one Good thing about the country, you get excited all over again about Up West
Calling it a day now, the house cleanign has been too much ... night all x

Original poster
Remotew · 20/02/2010 21:49

Night Ninah, My friend lives in London too and I should go to her big 50 in May.

kdk meant big not 'bit'

OP posts:
kdk · 20/02/2010 21:50

Not sure why we bother actually! Have to say, I've looked at most of the profiles of the women on this thread and thought what an amazing lot of sussed, intelligent, creative women who cope with jobs/running homes/education and kids - and heard about a bunch of unappreciative, stupid, manipulative guys who don't deserve to even be used as doorwipes!

Makes me very angry - and really wonder about what most of the men on dating sites are actually looking for!

sincitylover · 20/02/2010 21:56

I will join you all. Can't really be bothered atm.

I hope that when the right thing comes along it won't be too much of an effort IYKWIM

kdk · 20/02/2010 22:08

am wondering - you know they have those courses where they claim to turn gays straight - d'you reckon you could go along and ask if it works the other way as well?

Original poster
Remotew · 20/02/2010 22:17

kdk, I reckon women would be worse.

OP posts:
kdk · 20/02/2010 22:20

oh well, better hope the aliens make contact soon then!

Seriously, though, why worse? I think in all seriousness, and pretty sadly in some ways, that it's pretty much the same regardless of gender??

aseriouslyblondemoment · 20/02/2010 22:33

oh please tell me it's not that bad?
how long is it since you've been on a date kdk?
don't mean to sound rude btw

kdk · 20/02/2010 22:38

Far too bloody long - nearly two years since I had a date - and longer since I did the dirty!

hatesponge · 20/02/2010 22:59

am another one one in the can't be bothered camp....or on the verge of it at least.

Have done nearly 3 months on Match now, which has resulted in a grand total of 3 dates, none of whom have wanted to see me again. However, in truth, had I met any of them in any other way ie party, in a pub etc, I probably wouldn't have been that interested anyway. Am starting to think that I've no more chance meeting anyone on the net than I do in RL (ie not much!)

Doesn't help much that all my RL friends constantly tell me how they cant understand why I'm single, why more men aren't interested in me, why I never get asked out, etc. Makes me feel more than ever like there must somehow be a problem with me!

Original poster
Remotew · 20/02/2010 23:06

Sponge, don't think like that. I don't do internet dating or have only been on a couple since I joined this thread over a year ago. I don't like it but if the chances of meeting someone in day to day life are zilch then it is always an option.

Met more in RL and non of them worked out. I do appreciate the support on this thread and going on my recent experience have thought what would my friends on this thread make of it but know that they will tell me the truth and make me realise that I am worth more.

Chin up girls.

OP posts:
hatesponge · 20/02/2010 23:21

Thanks Eve, am not really upset about it all, not right now at least, I suppose I am quite a linear thinking person and to me there always has to be a reason for everything. The fact that I cant see a reason, and all my friends seem not to understand it either just vexes me, but its more irritating than upsetting tbh

I suppose (getting a bit deep here, blame the half glass of wine Ive had!) that dating and relationships is the one thing in my life I've always struggled with - everything else has always (and I realise this sounds horribly smug, so I apologise in advance!) come pretty easily to me, I never had to try hard for any of it. But men, I just find imposible most of the time!

aseriouslyblondemoment · 21/02/2010 11:06

kdk have you been on/off dating sites all this time?
sponge tbh 3 dates in 3 months isn't bad going
i went out with 6 blokes over the space of about 7 months before meeting dp
could have been more in fact but i did get arsed off with it admittedly!
dp only ever met one woman off the site namely me so he considers himself v.fortunate
lol
and yes he was hit upon by dirty old women too but not by the site tranny who messaged 2 blokes i've been out with
so i guess what i'm trying to say is what you're experiencing atm isn't unusual

kdk · 21/02/2010 12:43

@ asbm - most of the time yes.

As I've said before, I think a) I'm really picky b) I'm over 40 and not interested for various reasons in a toyboy c) while getting out for the evening isn't a problem, getting away for the night IS, and unless I knew someone very well, bringing them back to mine isn't an option d) I'm in London and find there are firstly many, many weirdoes and secondly many, many attractive women who don't have baggage in the way of children - and sadly many of the male friends I've spoken to say that given a choice, they would nearly always pick the child-free 38 year old over the single mother 40 year old and e) did I mention that I'm picky?

but happy to think about any suggestions anyone might have .... though probably not getting rid of my kids!

aseriouslyblondemoment · 21/02/2010 13:27

i'm really surprised that any bloke would rather choose a child-free woman
all the blokes i know think that it's to be expected and that if you hit late 30s childless then there's something rather odd about you obv.excusing health reasons etc
i can't answer about the over 40 bit as i'm not there yet,however i do remember an ex of mine saying that he felt that men were generally a bit more wary and respectful to women 40+ whatever that meant

aseriouslyblondemoment · 21/02/2010 13:30

btw have you ever thought about parsip(spelling?)
on another thread one MN-er raved about it

kdk · 21/02/2010 14:52

Have to say I'm not prepared/able to fork out money - have tried FRD/Guardian soulmates and not been very successful and not renewing subs. Also think that the ones where you don't get to see photos are not for me - petty I know but if I don't find someone physically attractive, I'm not interested in them for anything but friendship ... maybe different if you meet IRL as might the whole age thing be, if that makes sense, but in black and white and on the net, I like to know who I'm talking to and find them attractive ....

Doomed I know but hey, not that unhappy about it!

aseriouslyblondemoment · 21/02/2010 15:11

but not everyone takes a good pic!
are you giving up with match then?

kdk · 21/02/2010 15:39

not been on match - well, got a profile but never paid the subscription so not able to read or reply to mails - sponge contacted two guys for me, one of whom contacted me with a very bizarre email and not heard from him since.

I know people don't always come over on photos but gives you an idea of whether you like the look of them ...

I did once, in my dim and distant past, go on a blind date as in someone I'd been chatting to online - he described himself as tall, dark and goodlooking, was certainly quite funny in him messages but ... I got to the bar we were meeting in and walked in and never been so thankful there was another door - went straight out without stopping.

The eejit had lied about his age by about twenty years, was gingery rather than dark and about 4' nothing ... and verging on obese. I texted him to say, I looked for you and didn't see anyone 'tall, dark etc' - funnily enough, never heard from him again ...