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Original poster

Where have all the fit, interesting and available men gone (pt 17)

993 replies

Remotew · 18/01/2010 18:03

Has no-one beaten me to it yet?

Juicy sounding good.

WG old friend is worth seeing again.

Second not to arrange a meet up without me. Maybe down south in May.

OP posts:
kdk · 02/02/2010 21:26

oh good for you - tbh I'm getting a bit fed up with all the waiting around to be contacted like I"m some Jane Austen heroine waiting for bloody Darcy to swing by. I know that we should all wait for them to contact us but for f*cks sake, most of us are on dating sites - we've put our lives on the line saying we don't want to be on our own already - just wish there was a lot more honesty/upfrontness (not sure if that's a word) ...

Not even really anything to do with birdman - like I've said before, he smokes and therefore I won't be able to kiss him without gagging even if it did get that far - just a general commentary about my whole pissed-offness with the whole internet dating lark.

ninah · 02/02/2010 21:29

oh my puter's too slow again ...
darn it
OK, hard, it's gone.
Belle but you don't just decide you will be parnters for next 20 years and stick to it? has he actually proposed? he has, hasn't he? is that the 'random and stupid' thing?
look I need to know cos I'm running a little bookies here and so far asbm is odds on, but if you're coming up the outside so to speak
amd I've a special on rj and lou for the accumulator
scl you can't tell too much over emails. Meet him. Then I can enter you into the sweepstake

ninah · 02/02/2010 21:32

yeah but kdk point is we're not waiting! we're getting on with other busy stuff and if they do they do

ninah · 02/02/2010 21:33

sorry I meant spice not scl

hatesponge · 02/02/2010 21:33

spice - I agree with asbm. Sounds like possibly unfinished business.

kdk - I know,I spend most of my life feeling like Miss Havisham. Am experiencing slight texter's remorse as no reply in the last 15 mins or so since text sent (and asbm/ninah,you are not to say told you so) but at least I know now that I've tried. well thats what i'm telling myself anyway....

aseriouslyblondemoment · 02/02/2010 21:34

lol @ ninah
but it's what this thread's all about tho isn't it?
dating is such a bloody minefield and even worse when you're older, post divorce/relationship break-up and a mum to boot
nothing on here is ever said out of spite unlike other threads on MN
we post alot of the stuff we do due to our own shitty experiences and in the hope that others won't have the same said --shitty- experiences

ninah · 02/02/2010 21:42

I don't know anyone on here in rl so it's totally random but I feel I can get a frank opinion (rl friends and family want me 'settled' at any price lol)
Not interested in 'I told you sos', just want to support others through those horrible early days of the dating minefield
and, while I'm single and carefree now, some time this year I'm def going back out there .. and I'll need backup!

aseriouslyblondemoment · 02/02/2010 21:48

and you will have it ninah

ninah · 02/02/2010 21:52

hmm that's one more reason to be afraid lol
seriously, half heartedness can't hide on this thread, whether it's his or mine

kdk · 02/02/2010 21:59

Really didn't mean to suggest that anyone was really sat around waiting for mr right/not quite right/absolutely wrong on every count and in every way ... but I'm 40-something, not after a wedding ring - would just like a bit of adult company and possibly a bit of uncomplicated fun - and possibly- if everything goes well and for as long as it does - something more long term ...

In the meantime, I'm busy with the kids/college/work/friends - and don't wish to spend my life waiting for someone to decide whether they want to put themselves on the line or not ...

ninah · 02/02/2010 22:06

exactly where I'm at, too
I would get v frustrated with birdman and do a 'next' for those reasons - all this chatting and he can't make a date, plus you really aren't that into him in the first place with his yellow fingernails and all
There certainly aren't many 'next's in this neck of the woods, but I'd still call it!
as for 'putting themselves on the line' that comes after you've met a few times, not from online stuff

hatesponge · 02/02/2010 22:08

Still no reply.

Another dating failure

ninah · 02/02/2010 22:21

Hate if that's the case, it's better now than 6 months down the line
I like juicy's advice about safety in numbers, although I don't have the stamina to practice it
don't make your mind up about anyone too soon, see a variety, just like house/job/hunting

Original poster
Remotew · 02/02/2010 22:21

Hi just checking in.

I know it sounds old fashioned but if a man wants you he will contact you. He won't leave you wondering for long. It's not really a case of us sitting around waiting for them to call/make up their minds like victims it's more a case of que sera and not wanting to be messed around. That's how I look at it anyway. I suppose if you really want an answer now then send a text to get it or take the no contact as some form of communication.

I haven't spoke to Salesman since Sunday. He said he will ring in the week so I expect him to. If he doesn't it will be a case of 'next'. Not that I am on any dating sites but you know what I mean. If so will probably have a break then get myself out or back on Zoosk. Won't touch a pay site or POF again.

As for the Amercian woman saying settle for Mr OK. It doesn't really apply to women who don't want children I would say. I am someone who is comfortable on my own but likes male company and wouldn't rule out long term if it all flowed.

OP posts:
Original poster
Remotew · 02/02/2010 22:35

PS Lou hasn't got internet atm. Least that is what she is telling us. Hey she might decide she can live without it after all.

OP posts:
Monty100 · 02/02/2010 22:38

Hi everybody, well, there's a lot to catch up on here.

Juice - liking the sound of trip Is it happening?

Belle - spill the beans, what did he do that was so off the cuff? Did he propose?

Kdk - you sound really peed off. Why not try another site?

Sponge - sit on those hands now.

Eve - you seeing Salesman this week?

ASBM - great to 'see you'.

Lou's got internet problems I believe.

Well absolutely nowt happening in my life except work and life in general is wearing me out. Full on day tomorrow and then quieten down. Very stressful.

Ninah, that last bit of a few posts ago 'I do wonder where it leaves those of us who've bred, co-habited and need a man like the proverbial fish/bicylcle but might quite like one, as a luxury item.'

That has got to be a quote of the week, I love it.

ninah · 02/02/2010 22:39

Internet schimnernet. I blame the mechanic

hatesponge · 02/02/2010 22:39

its just all such crap

what on earth is the point of asking several times during a date whether he would see me again, and then not follow it up?

Not sure I can be bothered any more, am obviously doing something wrong & until I can work out what that is, think I may as well give up on the whole dating thing.

ninah · 02/02/2010 22:41

thanks monty. I am planning on a labelled collection, possibly mounted in glass cases (with fast car/fish/tankard to accessorize)

Monty100 · 02/02/2010 22:43

Sponge - Don't despair, but in future, sit on your hands. They play games when they know they have the ball ime.

lol at internet schimnernet.

ninah · 02/02/2010 22:44

because they do that hate! it's not you
take what they SAY with a pinch of salt and just watch for what they DO
it's not you, it really isn't! I am past bewildered now, on to cynical and resigned
they will tell you any old crap to your face for that nice guy feel good factor, but then do as they/their hang ups dictate

DONTtouchMUMSspecialJUICE · 02/02/2010 22:45

right

ladies.

get back sitting on those hands.

pick up your confidence.

get ack on and nosey those sites again.

forget about your men with broken finger syndrome.

they are the examples of the shitty experiences asbm talked of.

we have ALL had them.. either through the site or in RL meetings... but please. ... dont go round and round in your head thinking of excuses for this shoddy behaviour.

IT IS NOT ACCEPTABLE..... you do not want a date... never mind anything more from some plonker who cant get the balls to ask for a date... or grow the balls to reply and say "had a great/shite (delete as appropriate) date."

for the record?... anyone who has a bf on the thread... or has had a date turn into a few dates or even a relationship of sorts.... how long did you wait to hear from them... i can guarantee it was in 24 hrs for most..... and the really good ones that are serious now.. they probably heard within 1 hr or parting from the first date!!!!

as the film says "he's not that into you"

it doesn't mean you are unnatractive/weird/no hope.... it simply means you are not his type.... move on.. shout "NEXT" as has been said... and find someone who communicates better than these dodgy fingered, undecisive wet lettuce limpers.

stop sending email/texts/etc.... if they want you they know how to contact you!!!

i'm going to bed!!

ninah · 02/02/2010 22:45

schminternet even

ninah · 02/02/2010 22:48

voice of reason, juicy
night all

hatesponge · 02/02/2010 22:48

Actually am glad I did text him. In fact I wish I'd done it sooner. Cos at least I know now rather than wasting even more of my time waiting & hoping - entirely pointlessly as it now appears - for him to contact me.