Ahh, how do you start dating again?

[Claire2009]

I've kinda met someone I like, he's single - I'm single (nearly 2yrs) we both have kids, we both like each other, he's asked me out, I've kinda not really responded, and now we're in limbo, I want to ask for his number but am slightly scared/nervous/unsure of how to ask, where to begin?

He's currently working two streets away and I pass him most days, stop for a chat etc, I just don't know how to further things ...?

ha ha{grin].....i was wondering james....i actually thought you were the other half of a gay couple...a female couple....glad you sorted my head out as i didnt want to ask,incase i offended you.It was when you said you has a couple of decent girlfriends that made me think!!!!!!!

You arent my other ex half in disguise are you?

now i know why you wanted the invite for tea....dont you like cooking or have you had the kids mainly.

that could have been a cosy threesome ha ha ha ha OMG could have been in a funny situation. I think the frost must be nunbing my powers of perception. Anyway how come you have stayed single if thats not too nosey.
2 in 15 years (or is that 2 decent ones) is pretty lonesome.I know cos thats what ive had

arghh - you thought i was a bent bird...

and yep, only two gf's isnt many - tho my ex did put me off a bit, as they do lol. and i dont think i'm one of your other ex's? sure i would have noticed

and kids have been here since day one, ex did a runner - wanted her independence lol - hasnt had much involvement since tho they still see her once a month or so. it still bothers them even now - the being let down, always coming second, third etc.

wouldnt have missed it tho - and spent the last couple of years motoracing with ds which has kept me busy - and has been great fun

and yes - after 15 years cooking is so dull! i'd rather iron!

my ex did the naughty with his ex fiancee whilst i was pregnant with DS2...i found out as he wasnt at the hotel he should have been,when he was away on 'business'. so i waited my time and kicked him out on april fools day. Then just to add insult to injury he had been seeing my best friend,DS1's godmother and was sleeping with her. So i lost the 2 peolpe who meant the most to me in my life in one fail swoop.

I have loved being mum and dad but it has been hard work with two now feisty grown men.
My guys felt the same when dad put his girlfriends needs over theirs. We had many years of tears at times....

ive got lots of ironing ....you do the ironing...i'll cook

have you got girls or boys

ooooh ironing - grab your coat youve pulled !

meanwhile - ive got my two dd back to uni, leaves me and ds in peace for a while. might just beable to sort the house out - have been threatening to move for years tho stayed put til theyre all thru college. is hardly ever time tho, so much to do as ever - expect you know that.

trouble is i dont even know which town i want to be in - tho dont feel like leaving the place i work at right now - which narrows it down a bit. otherwise the only other criteria is needing more garage space and being able to see the sun set. dont think an estate agent would take me seriously somehow

really must make a move this year tho - i lived here with my ex! will be far easier now theres mostly only me and ds - do your two look like theyll be there forever? uni does seem to be good for them, tho they do keep coming back!

morning.....
DS1 is at Notts uni doing pharmacy and DS2 is at school in lower 6th but heading towards 7 years at uni to do veterinary(frightened of being totally poor emotion for me)
I have been really fortunate, as DS2 has been on a full bursary at the wonderful local public school, which is 800m from my home.

DS1 is defintiely not coming home next year, as he has been accepted for his pre reg at a hospital near uni and then he wants to go on to do a diploma in cardiac medicine. So thats 2 years without his clutter and the total mayhem he creates when hes home. His bedroom(at home and uni) floor ends up covered in clothes that have been shed from his night out with his mates.(he was so tidy before he went to uni!!!) And he comes home with shed loads of washing Is that what mums are for...thats why i said you could do the ironing !

ive been thinking of moving too(but never had the guts)...to warmer climes but havent persued it because of my guys schooling....i adore Greece and would love to get away from it all. I have no family other than my boys, so i wouldnt find it a massive upheaval,when they have flown, and i always feel at home when i go to Greece...the people are so honest and genuine....

At least you have a garage...i have a little shed...so can you imagine how that has been for 22 years with all the toys,bikes and gardening stuff!!!!!!!

I go to my caravan(my only escape from the tedium) to watch the sun set...its just near a canal and a river ...so its fabulous to go for walks especially in autumn when all the pheasants are in the fields(i also go clay pigeon shooting too)...and theres the odd pub or two just to break up the walk.

Some friends of mine have just bought an old silk mill with the view you would die for....over their own lake which is south facing and over acres of fields with 12 horses in it. They have converted an old vistorian silk mill into the most perfect home

I think DS2 will be coming back forevereternity, with 7 years at uni.....i think they come back for quote

what sort of motor racing have you been doing? sounds brilliant.
An 'old' friend of mine was on the ferrari team and a couple of years ago he was out in Austria(i think or maybe Switzerland) and he had a nasty crash in his Ferrari. Broke his leg at 160mph and wrote the car off.Had a phone call from the hospital to say he had been hurt and that he was having surgery to fib and tib. The ferari team managed to save the engine but it personally cost him £160,000 for the body work. He has since given it up as he feels he is now too old!(not too poor)And i believe you have to be ultra fit to compete too.

looking back at one of your previous comments...being a single parent attracting weirdos....
You're lucky...being a single parent doesnt seem to attract anyone....its so much more difficult for a woman to go out on her own...But yes,in general, i have found the ones that are single are either heavy drinkers/gamblers /heavy smokers(yuk to both)...no get up go,and stuck in a rut, havent found any one with a real need to have fun/laughs and anyone with an interest in doing lots of things.
I love sport and travelling(when i can) and so many people just seem stuck in a rut or just genuinely cant be bothered organising things.

oooh well....must stop chatting to myself....and go and do some tiling in the kitchen. Then i have got to take the floor up in the small bedroom as the central heating pipes are vibrating together.(really annoying noise with the heating being on all the time with the cold weather)But not had chance to remove the bed as DS1 has been in there. He has now gone back to uni and is sitting one of his exams this morning. I think the piece of underlay that i wedged between the two pipes has worked loose,or the repairer might have inadvertantly removed them when he repaired my heating on the friday before xmas.Yes no heating in -6 degrees. They breed 'em tough in the north west.bye for now.

makes a refreshing change talking to a guy

oh wow!! i mean, evening...but wow was at notts uni yesterday with the car packed to the roof again - what is it about shoes? she had a holdall full of shoes!... dd2 is in first year there doing aero engineering. is a great looking place and she's enjoying it, is on the hockey team and so fast! no wonder she needs so many shoes!

hope your ds does well in his exams, sounds like your two have similar interests - and veterinary takes so long too - you will have him coming and going for a lot of years! my eldest is in her final business year then looking at london/edinburgh - who knows - she's doing textile design/manufacturing.

ds and i are happy for now pottering with cars last few years has been autograss - very fast, very muddy, very fun he drives, i'm mechanic. managed a second to last years national champion, in a car built for a fraction of the cost - engine built be me of course its now put away as we've discovered santa pod and drag racing!! it is so fast, am on the lookout for a car to modify and use/show this year. went to silverstone last summer - i'm a bit of a ford fan - there were old fords thrashing new lotus's!! thats where i'm heading - found a car in hampshire perfect for the job but my trailer is snowed in - as is the garage at work itll be going in. maybe next week.

was going to mention my love of old buildings. my kids have stopped me from all kinds of misadventure. found an old watermill with permissions - was brilliant, but they refused to live in a caravan...for a year...or so... also found an old hall, a sandstone place in the woods - was four walls and a mud floor...ditto. same went for a windmill etc etc. just as well tho, i'd never get it finished. i work on a country estate - currently clearing an old victorian lake ready to put the water back, has been empty for years. the extra foot of snow over everything has made the last week or so interesting! is taking shape slowly tho and is too cold to stand about. theres only me works there so always plenty to do, and the outdoors suits. used to work in industry but it was so dull - tho i did used to get to watch the northern lights now and then - somewhere off the coast of norway! i know all to well the appeal of warmer climes, but do have a love of escaping to the moors - of the north york variety, theyre on my doorstep - almost.

and now i'm rambling - is late again. hope your tiling went well

Your DD will love Nottingham.[thats really spooooooky!!!!) DS1 has had a wonderful time there and the campus is lovely too.I think the night life has somthing to do with their ultimate enjoyment of nottingham. Is she in halls or renting a house? Thats a really different subject for a girl to be studying...good luck to her,its nice to be different

All 3 of us have similar interests...all based around medicine[makes for really boring dinner conversation.Im a frustrated wannabe doctor (parents couldnt afford to send me to uni all those years ago!)and my guys love pharmaceuticals and medicine.At least they know what they want...so i am happy for them.

Didnt get round to the tiling(maybe tomorrow)....learning how to interpret survey information at the moment so decided to have a play with autocad on the computer. Gave up my job as a pharmacy dispenser last year as i had had enough of being walked all over by my manager and he wouldnt let me have a holiday in summer,so i walked. So after working in pharmacy for most of my life i have changed jobs to secretary/land surveyor/autocad interpreter/ tiler/ decorator/gardener/i love it....hate doing nothing.

So have you had to clear all the fish out of the lake or is it not stocked.
Is that what you meant about working outside. I worked outside just before xmas ,doing some survey work....in the luminous gear....really attractive....i was a tad cold. Cant be much fun for you in this weather clearing the lake..brrrr

Anyway,must get my beauty sleep

You should see my friends silk mill.it is incredible.
It has 2 original oak water wheels that they are restoring, with a stream running actually through the foyer of the house.
They have had to retain the old wrought iron victorian roof supports and have rebuilt it so sympathetically. They have lived in 2 caravans ...on site for 4 years. They are on phase 2 of 4 at the moment. Next is the conversion of the stables into appartments for terminally ill children to have a final break with family. He is a doc and she is a physio so the whole project is looking as tho it will work well for them. It should have been on the Grand Designs programme but the project is taking too long for TV.

I have been fishing at their lake which ahs pike and many other fish.Its a beautiful place in an area called Langley.

ooooh sorry my post has got all jumbled up. the silk mill bit....that should have gone in after the first paragraph...sorry

defo going to sleep now.

Claire ,sorry for the hijack,will start a seperate thread if you want me too.apologies!!

dd is in halls this year - and catered - tho already looking for somewhere to rent with friends. and is an unusual subject tho she's always wanted to fly. she wanted to be a fighter pilot - hayfever put an end to that one. we went out to florida a while back and visited nasa, that sparked an interest in aerospace - she may end up back there. i could get used to driving on the wrong side

and the lake has no fish - hasnt had any water for over 50 years - i'm clearing trees, bushes etc ready to re - dam and refill it. my proper job title is estate manager - tho being the only person working there means i get to do everything - and its a big old place, also includes decorating, tiling (roof and wall!), gardening, woodland, parkland etc. it wears me out but wouldnt have it any other way. can go all day and see no one - am just left to get on with it - or on call dogsbody - either way is ok. i started there soon after becoming de-engaged from most decent gf. between work, kids and racing ive tried to have as little time as possible - except to roam the moors of course. is odd, was glad to be rid of my ex w, didnt miss her, dont see or speak to her and wouldnt have it any other way.

erm - yes - sorry about the hijack

did you ever get the fella in question?

DS1 was in catered accomodation at Lincoln hall and he found the food really good. I decide it was too much of a shock to his system to leave home and have to cope with everything so i decided to break him in gently.

He then moved out into lenton....initially with a dreadful landlady who we had lots of problems with. All the wiring in the house was illegal and she had got her buddies in to put a new shower unit in and they had left the casing on the electrical unit open to the water. I went absolutely ape with her and told her that if it wasnt fixed within 24 hours ,she would have the authorities down her neck. Dont let DD rent any house from a Mrs Patel...she is crap with a capital C. All the plug sockets in the kitchen were hanging off the wall with all the live wires showing. When i arrived, i found toasters,kettles etc,plugged in to these plugs with the obvious worry of water being spilled. You dont know how angry i was.
She had no boiler safety certificates and no electric certificates for new work. Her relatives were her 'helpers'

A Mr J Parr of Trevor Parr associates is a really good and fair landlord. He renews things when they need it and if he inconveniences the students he gives them a crate of wine and /or money off the bills. He takes £7 a month of each of them for gas and electric. he pays all the bills (unlike the other landlady)and refunds any excess money or asks for more if required. He has been with him for 2 years now and i cant fault him.

She will need to get her agreement signed and sealed in the next 2 weeks and will probably have to pay a deposit to reserve the house. If she leaves it too long all the better houses will go.
Tell her Johnson road is ok,most belong to this gentleman.DS1 is staying in Nottingham next year and will probably be renting from him again.Dont let her be mislead by the look of some houses....His first one was a death trap. Although she might not like it,go and check everything because unless they are keen on DIY these dangers never occurred to them and they didnt know their legal rights to a safe environment. (DS and his mates didnt really know about all the dangers...becuase they had never had to deal with this kind of thing before.)

no matter how many appointments i made to see the female landlady she always cancelled and for some reason could not come up with any safety documents on anything to do with the house. OOhhh and the other thing was ,the downstairs toilet was leaking sewage all over the bathroom floor,each time the toilet flushed.

I cannot emphasise how careful DD needs to be with her choice of house.

wow thanks - talk about scare stories!

spoke to her earlier, theyre going looking next week, she knows what to look for and knows the good ones will soon go. will pass on the landlords' details - may be useful - thanks

meanwhile - did you get your tiling done? bet you didnt! spent last night with self assembly furniture - what fun! am getting impatient for my new car - roll on spring time

oooh - what sport do you do? and i dont really count shooting clays. dd1 and i used to go rock climbing - was great fun. otherwise never been that sporty - too busy, tho used to ride for miles across the moors. may well end up out there somewhere - keep looking at timber self builds - have a bit of an eco side - must have watched too much of the good life having been here so long in a house i didnt choose i want the next move to be right and hopefully permanent...talk about jumbling your paragraphs up!

i thought DS1 new what to look for or he said he did but they are not worldy wise to do with household matters,legalities ,electrical and gas unless she knows alot from you.

sports....anything and everything....
I go snow skiing each year,play badminton for my county and league badmintonm,locally.(play badminton with DS2 for the same club which is nice. He is on the B team ,me ...Im on the A...quick trumpet blow(not that Im competitve[grin) Qualified Padi diver...water skiing.Im game for any sport....always loved it from being a youngster doing county athletics.

DS1 best friend has just qualified from Reading Uni ...he wants to be a pilot,the non commercial type...probably RAF but hes had to overcome dyslexia.

i thought DS1 new what to look for or he said he did but they are not worldy wise to do with household matters,legalities ,electrical and gas unless she knows alot from you.He did regret not asking me to help...but they all seem to know it all until things go wrong and then they arent used to dealing with swindlers

sports....anything and everything....
I go snow skiing each year,play badminton for my county and league badmintonm,locally.(play badminton with DS2 for the same club which is nice. He is on the B team ,me ...Im on the A...quick trumpet blow(not that Im competitve[grin) Qualified Padi diver...water skiing.Im game for any sport....always loved it from being a youngster doing county athletics.

DS1 best friend has just qualified from Reading Uni ...he wants to be a pilot,the non commercial type...probably RAF but hes had to overcome dyslexia.

this inherited computer has gone a bit weird and is dual posting....or maybe Im loosing the plot.Have just swapped laptops and this one isnt working properly. DS1 dumped it on me before he went back to uni(now i know why,battery is knackered and it keeps closing down)....swapped it for a new one with muggings here.....Yes i do have MUG stamped on my forehead

was going to be patronizing and say how good a mum it makes you and how they know they can depend on you....but no, i have three kids and know it well, you were blagged