Where are all the fit, interesting and available men pt 16

[Janos]

Yep, it's still going....

Part 15 still lurking about, I believe.

nuts whole hazelnuts ....
he's actually edited it and taken out a lot of the ex-directed vitriol - I wonder why?

kdk, most of that profile seems alright (although a bit in parts - like why the unnecessary detail re children arrangements) but WHAT IS WITH THE NB AT THE END! What is he trying to say, that he is so fantastic that a woman - who is, wait for is 'sweet' as well as being a 'consultant doctor' (ooooh, impressive) - was willing to get serious with him after 4 dates? Sorry, don't mean to be cruel but does NB stand for Nob Brain?

evening all.

kdk - maybe your profile is too revealing.. have a look at mine if you want giraffehunter on pof.

i dont like the rules and all that rubbish.and i'm not really sure if the chase is right either way.

i find if your both genuinely interested then neither is "chasing" the other.. chasing implies one of the 2 isn't really interested. which is a bit pointless isn't it... if you find you need to chase a guy then truth is he isn't interested. and similarly if i'm not really fussed about a bloke they tend to try harder and think i want the chase.when i'm just not interested.

hi weathergirl. so you gonna meet guy who left you voicemail?

belle @ you meeting gb?? shame your date with sailor never went well. did you just not click at all.

betty - how often do you see mrjack a week?

janos - any date set with mr sporty yet?

well... i was out for a very wild night out. was in 4 bars and 2 clubs.hitted on loads.. but... of no interest. purely wanted to get my friend over her exboyf. really fab night.

i've not done well in SOH anon group... irish text me today and had a few messages back and forth. all very normal and safe....

and... have kinda arranged to meet beachbum for lunch this week.

oh and when i was under the influence of dutch courage i asked a fella i've been in contact with to meet me for lunch today. he wasn't available. but we did end up having a lengthy chat on phone.. he seems my kinda bloke. so will see if we do arrange a date for later in week as he's suggesting.

shall call him..big duck

i'm sure i've missed out replying about something..

oh ninah - well done on keeping your meeting friendly with ex and avoiding night time meet ups.

Your guess is as good as mine wg - I just have a habit of attracting shall we say, the odder elements of the species.

kdk - dont mean too revealing.. i mean perhaps too much info...

And this fruitloop has just added me to his favourites - I shall quote you from his profile
"I believe in the power of the God, i'm a successful bussiness man, i studied information tech, i love beautiful women with self-respect, hard working, romantic and most importantly caring. A caring and loving lady turns me on. I believe in love that grow gradually. I like my lady to be open to me no matter what. I occationally hand out at the beach for a picnic. Looking for a lady that will love me for who i am. Thats all i can say for now...
I have a big dream to open a foundation for motherless babies. And a very big hospital. Serving human is a very fulfilling service. One that comes with inner peace. Any lady am going marriage should be able to advice me, correct me when am wrong and can any thing with me."

I am seriously worried - never mind being too revealing, I think I have unknowingly and unintentionally cracked the code for 'I like loonies'

kdk the link takes you to the pof site, Just remebered I deleted my profile off pof.

Thanks for the words of encouragement. I'm hoping Salesman and I will see each other again. I said I would text him next weekend he muttered something about me liking my space in the week which I have said.

KDK perhaps if you think you are putting people off with your wit etc then make sure you use the lol abbreviation. I hate it but it saves any misunderstandings when you tease.

Must admit that I very rarely sent a first message and if I did I found the response luke warm.

My friend has read the rules and also the book 'He's just not into you'. This book suggests the disadvantages of approaching a man first and I expect it's similar to messaging on the dating sites.

If you go and chat a guy up he is instantly judging you. He may decide he doesn't fancy you or if he does he will think, hey she is up for it, this might be fun!!

If they see you first, they are instantly wondering if they stand a chance and will she like me etc so feel they are being judged by you, the prize. Something like that anyway. I think there is a lot of truth in this.

hi eve - try this or do a search for james_five .

I'm actually with you on the messaging men front - but, I do find that the men who approach me or message me I tend not to find attractive for various reasons so at a bit of an impasse!

Think I have to accept that internet dating just ain't my thing and find another way of meeting men but as I'm not a great drinker or hanger-out in bars I'm pretty much out of ideas.

Luckily I'm not so bothered by being on my tod - would just be nice to have a male friend - and no, not just for the obvious!

and juicy - am v jealous - can I come and stay for the weekend?

I got messages all the time off men that I just wouldn't reply to. Kept my profile on for over 2 years so just hang on in there and see who finds you. You never know, don't look at it as though you will be arranging a date every week. You need to log on on a regular basis for your profile to show up.

I hardly met anyone in person from it. The first one that I did meet I really wasn't bothered about going but he was prepared to meet at my fav cafe bar 5 mins walk away. It turned into a love thing, I was gobsmacked, but due to circumstances beyond our control it finished quite quickly.

Don'ttouch - hello! If Scotty rings again (has missed me twice) then I'll see how the convo goes and then maybe meet him.

Re the rules philosophy, some of it I do agree with - especially what abouteve said, I never make first contact on POF, just wait for all the loonies to come to me! You are in a better position that way. The most I've done is added a few to my faves but didn't feel so good about doing it, esp when they didn't make contact.

One thing is for certain, after a recent excrutiating experience, I would never consider meeting anyone who doesn't have clear photos and that I haven't had a phone conversation with. It's a shame, I just got a really lovely email off someone but he may as well not bothered with a photo, his face is blurred and the size of my little fingernail.

evening, wow there is a lot to read

we took the kids to mercedes benz world today because i wanted to have a look at a car, as my motability one is up for renewal soon

kids enjoyed it

three of them went to see their dad this morning too, at their request

as before he was available if i took them to him and picked them up

mechanic was in the car with me when we got the kids as we were on the way to mbw, but exh didnt look at me or him, let alone talk

i also had to remove a friend from fb as exh has now joined and added him

the friend does understand why which is fine, but i hate the way he is creeping into all parts of my life bit by bit

I know exactly what you mean - I had a sense of dread when my ex added me on FB - I have just ignored so far and heard nothing more from him - hopefully he'll crawl back under his rock. Could you wall to wall any of your friends who you think he might add and ask them to reject him?

i couldnt ask this one too, he has known him longer than i have, in fact he is the only friend who still stays in touch with him, and has never taken sides

none of my other friends would accept him, they all think he is a total tosser for how he has behaved

juice-it varies how often, once or twice a week really. I wud prob like it to be more but it's good when we do see each other so cant complain, have not really had any crap dates with him (so far anyway)

so a few more dates lined up already ur a fast mover lol and how come ur seeing beachbum? thought that one was a complete no no, or was that just whilst u were seeing irish?

kdk-i cudnt view that profile and didnt come up with search either? anyway ur not having much luck so far are u?

wg-I wudnt meet anyone without seeing fairly decent pics either. I have tended to chat with people on msn after pof and exchange photos before meeting.

eve-salesman sounds keen then

belle-are you really thinking of still introudcing ds to gb?

lou-test driving mercedes huh lucky thing

janos-u still panicking about ur date?

I kinda agree with you all on it's prob better to let a bloke make contact with you first but when i initially did that like you say i wasnt getting any messages off anyone i was remotely interested in all so i decided to take a different approach and ok some blokes might think ur desperate but what is the harm in a 'hi hows it going' message. if they dont reply well....next lol

not test driving, just finding out about deposits for the motability scheme

renault volvo and citroen are all going to be looked at too, tho the merc is my first choice

i just sprained my wrist opening a jar

Ok for those of you who don't like to make first contact, how about when they add you to their faves but don't email you? Would you email them then? Personally that gets on my nerves a bit. I mean make the effort and drop me a line at least. However if they are impressive then I might add them to my faves!

@ betty - weird - works for me, anyway you're really not missing much - bloke who says he's over his wife and obviously isn't (see his remark about his psychoanalyst and has this on his profile

"nb. via this site I ended up having a fling with a 'sweet' consultant doctor who then after four dates asked me to consider relocating and meet my daughter !
Look - anything can happen and I am open minded, but I am not here looking to re-marry."

Well that's me told then!

Have also had guy just tell me I look like Edwina Currie and the usual shit from a 24-year-old. Same old, same old!

kdk-he has some serious 'issues' doesnt he lol has he seriously put stuff about previous realtionships in his profile wtf??

He's taken most of it out of his profile now but did you not see what he said about how his psychoanalyst - and I quote him here " a lady who is a senior supervising analyst at the Institute of Psychoanalysis and whom is reknowned" thinks he has been over his ex for a year - wtf!!

I've decided I am actually performing a much-needed social service in that while all the fruitcakes, godbotherers and fetishists are bothering me, they hopefully aren't bothering anyone else! See, I'm a saint me - if you ever want to know if someone is a loon, just ask if they've ever contacted me, if they have you can guarantee they're a paid up loon.

kdk - bet he's the type that talks about his ex constantly, because he is "SO over her". Maybe write back and say that you'd love to meet him, but would he mind if you bought a wedding catalogue on the date to maybe have a browse through together?

Also, I got so fed up with getting responses from youths (as young as 18!!! I'm 37) that I have adjusted my mail settings so that I don't get any mail from anyone under the age of 34. It was flattering at first and then just dissappointing every time I saw I had mail, only to find it was from a mummy's boy just coming out of puberty.

betty - good it's still exciting.

lo@ guy pretending to be over his ex when clearly not.

as for contact.. nearly all the dates i have actually went on were ones where i made first contact. beachbum being exception..

speaking of beachbum. no idea why i'm going for lunch.. probably just becuase i fancy a lunch in edi with a fit interesting male again

i have possibly another exception with big ducks.... went on webcam... OMFG much fitter than his profile pic. totally nuts too. ridiculous sense of humour. but... his longest relationship was 4 months. he's still young. same age as me. so its not that tragic.says he wants a relationship. but doesn't see the point in being with someone if he cant picture himself with them in future. he's not a huge drinker either.. more a doer... we've said we will go on our date on saturday so i can be chilled out and have a relaxing time without worrying about being back for kids.

but there's plenty of time to fall out with him between now and sat

this is another with a dog. chocolate labrador...

Think that could be the big difference juicy - I don't get a night off from the kids as their dad is not living in the UK and don't feel I could impose on my ma so that I can have a bit of fun - if it was a serious relationship I might feel better about it ...

also I'm 40-ish ... and sometimes just don't feel up to doing the whole singles/out on the lash thing.

And meant to say, that I really admire your attitude in initiating contact - just don't think it's for me ...

kdk - its a very rare occasion i actually hook up with a bloke on a girls night out.. and my friends locally in this group are 1 in late 20's, 4 approaching 40, and 1 over 40 [... some single. others married. but we all go out together. and the odd single one sometimes will give her number out/hook up.

so age really isn't an issue.

and who says you should meet at night. when my dc dad is away to his homeland..which can be for up to 2 months at a time.. i dont get childfree nights. this happened once when i was seeing irish... we'd been seeing each other a few nights so i felt ok with him coming over once dc in bed as mine are young. or it would be 2 weeks between seeing him.

another time he was away i was first beachbum.. and meeting him consisted solely of lunches in edinburgh on his lunch break when my dc were at nursery for a bit. and the odd fri night i would get my bro round to babysit.. i would put kids to bed. drive over to beachbum, stay sober, watch some dvd's and go home.

there are fellas who are quite happy only seeing you the minimal amount a lp can offer. but you have to point out from the start that you have other priorities.. and they can like it or lump it.

i tend to find the workaholic types are best for me. they never moan as too self absorbed with their own stuff. whic is also usually their biggest problem