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Original poster

Where have all the fit and interesting men gone part TWELVE

1000 replies

lou33 · 07/09/2009 17:38

starts here

why would you bin off gymboy before asking about it?

he may well just have been checking mail or hiding a profile or something, talk to him before you dump him

OP posts:
aseriouslyblondemoment · 14/09/2009 10:37

belle don't you think it's partly due to what we've all been thru in the past with our exs?
all i can really say here is trust your gut..

thesouthsbelle · 14/09/2009 10:46

YES MINE IS TOTALLY COS OF MY EX & PREV V BAD EXPS (oops)

not fair to put that on someone else thou,.

aseriouslyblondemoment · 14/09/2009 11:06

no it's not at all but i think it's fair to say that all of us on this thread feel like this
i am still looking for red flags with my bf despite the fact i know there aren't any
fortunately he is v understanding about this as he is fully aware of the reasons for the breakdown of my marriage and also thru his work which often involves women who've experienced dv or in my case emotional abuse
would like to think that i will eventually have my faith restored fully but i guess it's an ongoing thing

ninah · 14/09/2009 12:42

I'm wary of a a man who says he always tells the truth tbh, well he's not going to advertise himself as a liar is he?
lying snake with crap sense of humour wishes to meet etc
but gymboy just sounds like a rotten timekeeper (and keen on gym, obv)
glad all is OK
rj what are your thoughts on beachbum then, after your Irish moment?
know what you're saying about red flags asbm, but once you have dc dating is never going to be the same again let's face it.
Well according to a colleague I'm a man hater anyway (suggested we didn't need to wait for a someone with a penis to assemble a couple of flatpacks as in my experience an Allen key is sufficient)
your reunion sounds well good eve, I went to all girls school so p'raps that's why I've never bothered

winnie09 · 14/09/2009 12:48

lol @ ninah being a man hater because she suggested using an allen key

thesouthsbelle · 14/09/2009 12:50

:O NINAH!

ok he's jsut said was 'nice' seeing me, is it me or does that make it sound like being with your mum! ;o

ninah · 14/09/2009 12:53

south, he's trying! he's only a man (whoops, millie tant tendencies coming out again)
but nice is OK
you can train him up to exhilarating, wonderful, fabulous, heart stopping etc

thesouthsbelle · 14/09/2009 12:57

alas I know I expect a lot!

(he did admit thou y'day he's no good at romance) but I like him. i'll keep him for a bit!

ninah · 14/09/2009 13:00

I think straightforward can be more genuine sometimes, too
relax and enjoy!
back to work now

DONTtouchMUMSspecialJUICE · 14/09/2009 13:09

i always think someone who says

"you can trust me".. or "i always tell the truth"... is exact honest too.

in my experience. sorry to say belle.

it's actually a bit of a personal red flag of mine tbh. something has me running for the hills... but we know i'm always looking for a good excuse to run tbh

agree with ninah... i find it much easier to trust someone who is brutal honest and straight forward like myself. might smart a little when they tell you the truth and you dont like it.... but your guaranteed when they tell you something good or compliment that they actually mean it 100%.

ninah - i'm really really confused between beachbum and irish. irish has been on text so it's def not a fling.... have no idea what to do. when beachbum gets back it will have been over a month since our last date

Remotew · 14/09/2009 13:17

Belle, think you have to decide whether you can overlook him changing plans etc, just try and fit him in to your life rather than sitting round waiting. I don't get child free time so it's different for me. Mostly I just want to see someone when I'm in the mood, can relax i.e no work the next day etc.

Having a nice lazy day off today, been watching TV in bed this morning and snoozing. I'm just about recovered from Saturday night and got over the fact that I was very attracted to someone who is taken.

I've now had a phone conversation with my potential date for next weekend. He sounds OK, looks nice on the photo's. Just one year older than me, 5 ft 10, slim, nice smile. Reasonable job, has his own house, car, no young children. Just what I'm looking for.

Remotew · 14/09/2009 13:19

Oh and RJ . See how it goes with the Irish guy, was this the first time you had met.

DONTtouchMUMSspecialJUICE · 14/09/2009 13:21

not is exact honest.. meant to say isnt exactly honest

DONTtouchMUMSspecialJUICE · 14/09/2009 13:23

eve your date sounds good.

and yes it was first date. but my guilt really eats at me. cant be seeing 2 at once even if neither exclusive.

i get uncontrollable urges to confess all

hence when beachbum returns i cant continue seeing both.

thesouthsbelle · 14/09/2009 15:46

well juicy maybe go out with beachbum again once more to see how you feel with him, then you have a more up to date idea as it were? what's the irish man like then?

eve - sounds good on the date front, don't worry about the taken man - plenty of single lads out there as well.

the time thing doens't really bother me per se - as in him being late or changing plans (as in going somewhere different) but it's the whole one night off a week and wanted to spend some time together iycwim. as it was we did have a lovely time either way.

anyhow I bit the bullet today, cos I think if I wait for him i'll be waiting all day so said that I wanted to try n spend more time together if we could, which had a v positive response, so think he's gonna try n get over tomorrow plus some other times once DS is in bed. (not so fussed if he comes after 8-9 then as it gives me a bit of time to get a few hours study in first so all good there)

DONTtouchMUMSspecialJUICE · 14/09/2009 16:02

belle - we are up sometimes as early as 5.30am in this house. hence i cant do too late. i like to be in bed by pumpkin time of midnight. thats why i have a limit of 8-9pm. if someone isn't coming to mine till 10pm then i'm only letting them in just to tuft them back out iykwim.

i will see beachbum once he gets back. you never know, between then and now i could have caught irish sucking his thumb or some other weird thing.

whats irish like?? - hmmmm.....definately one-of-a-kind, breaks the mould. not sure if thats good or bad yet till i know him better.

thesouthsbelle · 14/09/2009 16:19

how much longer is beachbum away for?

DS tries half 5 but mostly just comes and crawls into bed and curls up with me asleep. Couldn't do it 2 nights on the trot thou.

DONTtouchMUMSspecialJUICE · 14/09/2009 16:24

he gets back next sunday. but probably wont see him till the wkd after as not picking him up from airport anymore.

notevenamousie · 14/09/2009 18:51

I couldn't do it either rj - not that I think you've done anything wrong, just I understand where you are coming from. So is Irish good to talk to, as well as in, ahem, other areas??

sb - Timekeeping would probably put me off, I'm afraid - but then we all have our own little issues and that's one of mine!

I am really really wanting to ring the trekker and I probably shouldn't. I waited for him to text me today then I replied mid morning then nothing since. I just want to talk to him I have been sitting in really boring meetings all day and thinking inappropriate thoughts...

Right, must pull myself together and go and do some ironing and wash my hair so I don't have to do it at 6 in the morning.

Janos · 14/09/2009 18:58

Right. Confession time. I did something I shouldn't have at the weekend. Slept with my ex. (No0, not DS dad).

Feel really weird. I enjoyed it all at the time but not sure how I feel now. Sort of a bit if that makes sense?

Janos · 14/09/2009 19:00

Oh hell, I mean not . If I was all I wouldn't be feeling vaguely guilty and sort of cross with myself.

notevenamousie · 14/09/2009 19:10

Oh, Janos. It's so easily done, when you are confused with feelings and hormones and stuff. I am sorry you are feeling so mixed up about it. Is it with yourself you are cross and sad? I take it you are a bit regretful?? Try and be kind to yourself - everyone makes unwise decisions, now is the time to make sure it doesn't happen again if you don't want it to.

DONTtouchMUMSspecialJUICE · 14/09/2009 19:14

mousie - excellent to talk to. so good we never got round to the "ahem" till about 20 hrs into our 24hrs together ...even managing to share the same bed without doing much.

although i did get him to keep repeating words like "three" and "another"

janos - forget the guilt. as long as you had a good time it doesn't hurt unless your still holding a flame for him and hoping for more and he's not willing?

Janos · 14/09/2009 19:33

I did have a good time rj - I'm not hoping for more, I think he is though (this is the one who invited me to go to Bruges).

notevenamousie · 14/09/2009 19:38

Sounds good rj! I don't suppose that helps you choose though...

Janos - you had fun, and you aren't doing anyone any harm - apart from a bit of torturing yourself. Be gentle with yourself.

I'm going to ring him... I think...

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