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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Original poster

i love being single anyone with me.

48 replies

everythingistaken · 02/08/2009 14:53

Am i the only one on this??

1:don't have arguements about how to discipline the kids
2:don't have to answer to anyone
3:it's lovily when the kids go to bed and the house is quiet
4:don't have to share the telly
5:don't have arguements about anything
6:don't have to put the lid back on the toothpaste
7:dont have to wash his clothers
8:dont have to make a extra dinner
7:dont have to share my bed
8:dont have to put up with him saying he doesnt like my mates
9:can go out dont have to tell him where i have been
10: can paint the house ANY colour i like

i could go on forever but think i'll stop here, their are so many up sides to been single.

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Ultranidus · 02/08/2009 15:06

Just sounds like you were in a crappy relationship, bad luck.

Original poster
everythingistaken · 02/08/2009 15:10

nope i'm completly happy to be single and dont mope about because i'm not.

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Ultranidus · 02/08/2009 15:20

.....so the list isn't based on experience - just a cynical imagination, don't mean to troll - glad your happy with your lot

K999 · 02/08/2009 15:30

I'm not single and I can do all of those things on your list....apart from the one about sharing a bed, which I like!
Being in a relationship doesnt mean that you have to answer to that person!! Its about being a team and being loving and respectful.

Glad that you are happy though.

Original poster
everythingistaken · 02/08/2009 15:39

thankyou k999 i am very happy.
it isnt at all based on imagination, their is no need to be rude i havent been rude to you have i?? i just dont think a man is a be all and end all.

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thesilverlining · 03/08/2009 12:56

everythingistaken - you know what thanks for sharing. I am newly single still madly in love with my husband he has another gf already just 10 days before he was meant to be moving back in with me and the DCs and making a go of it. I am devastated but clinging onto every bit of positivity I can muster.

Can I add to your list....

  • my house doesn't smell anymore (you know the fausty "man" smell that lingers for evermore!) now it smells fresh and clean!
as well as all the above you mention :-)

Anyone else got some positive aspects of being single they can share please?!

NewLeaseofLife · 03/08/2009 13:15

I am loving being single.

He is still helping look after my DS quite a bit as I am quite Ill at the moment but still.
I hate sharing my bed its huge and its all mine.
My money is my own to spend as I like. I know that if I had £20.00 in my purse when I went to bed, it will still be there when I get up.

I dont have sugar in my house now unless I bake.

The bathroom is usually in the same state I left it when I use it again.
I get all the cuddles with DS now.
I can have friends over whenever without having to check first or worrty about him falling asleep in the corner.
The access arrangements we have are quite good and so I get to go out quite a bit now.

We dont have an endless supply of carrotts and chicken which DH was always buying!

I just enjoy having my own space, my bedroom is all girly and comfy and smells nice.

I really really love it and after the year I have had trying to sort it all out with him the pressure is now off and I am chilled and happy.

So here here to everythinistaken

alypaly · 03/08/2009 13:29

everythingistaken
I have been a single mum for 15 years, have times when i love it, times when i dont.

11:actually have discussions with ex about how to discipline the kids. think its important cos i am not always right.
12:don't have to answer to anyone nat all.
13:hate it when my 16 year old goes to bed as the house is too quiet but cud do without his untidyness.
14: have to share the telly and computer with son.grrr!
15: have arguements with son about anything and everything,normally help around the home.
16: have to stop my son squashing the toothpaste tube in the middle.

17:dont have to wash ex's clothes or boyfriends either. he goes back to his own place

18:end up making extra dinners when Boyfriend comes round
19:dont have to share my bed,only when i want to!!!!Sleep diagonally and dont have to put up with anyone else snoring...

20: son is becvoming his dad....but not if i can help it.
21 love my own space at times but wonder how
i will feel when my youngest has gone as i love children..

22:Would i have another partner...probably not...unless they put in 50% of the hard work it takes to run a home.

Original poster
everythingistaken · 03/08/2009 18:44

thankyou for your replies, i thought i was the only one

people think i'm strange and i'm lonely but couldnt be further then the truth.
but i dont like sharing, only with my children, and as i am not with their dad anymore, i hate anyone else trying to tell me what to do with my children, i kinda lose it.

the smell you are totally right missed that one out

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Original poster
everythingistaken · 03/08/2009 18:51

yes i also feel relaxed, love having my own space, can also paint my bedroom pink with flowers on if i wanted .
alypaly i love children too they are my life but when they have left home, then their will be grandchildren cant wait

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Original poster
everythingistaken · 03/08/2009 18:58

i'm sorry to here that silverlining, don't get me wrong if you are in love and that happens it's deverstating big for you.
but think of all the postives and in time it will heel.
newlease is right dc's hugs all all yours you don't have to share

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alypaly · 03/08/2009 19:12

everythingistaken
I cant wait for the grandchildren...i can do things that i posibly failed to do with my own and do things better...hopefully

Original poster
everythingistaken · 03/08/2009 19:26

i'm sure you are a wonderful mom

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alypaly · 03/08/2009 19:29

My children are really happy and i have done my best to be a mum and dad and they always tell me they love me even at their age...its lovely. Im happy with what we have achieved as a one parent family

alypaly · 03/08/2009 19:30

they are 16 and 21

raggedtrouseredphilanthropist · 03/08/2009 19:43

oooh, can I join in?

it has taken me a long time to get here but personal ones I can add:

making big decisions about how I spend my money on ME (and ds of course)
thinking of getting a new pet and it being totally MY choice. If I want a labradoodle, I will get one!
can just decide to not go home and stay round someones with ds
properly getting a day off when exh has ds
knowing noone has eaten all the nice things from the monthly shopping
can spend the whole evening online, or watching girly films or whatever I want
can decorate my house however I want

I WAS in a controlling relationship, so my freedom and independence are particularly relished

Original poster
everythingistaken · 03/08/2009 19:44

why do you think you failed?? it is hard trying to be mom and a dad but we can only do our best and if at their age they are saying they love you, then sounds like you have done a great job, hope my children are like yours when they are that age

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Original poster
everythingistaken · 03/08/2009 19:48

of course you can join in raggedtrousered, exactly it's so much fun been single

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SolidGoldBrass · 03/08/2009 22:25

ANother happy single here - happy longterm single. I have always been lucky enough to avoid living with anyone I shagged or dated, and now have a perfect co-parent relationship with DS' dad - who has even been known to wash up or throw in the odd load of laundry in my house while he is looking after DS.

alypaly · 03/08/2009 23:53

i suppose i am self critical and i always think i could have done better. I wish we had had a stable family but my ex went off with someone whilst i was pregnant and i found out, so i didnt give him a second chance although i do miss him at times. I have got a boyfriend but its not quite the same

alypaly · 03/08/2009 23:55

although i hasten to add he is not a live in boyfriend.
dont want the washing or the arguments and i want to stay up late rather than being boring and going to bed early

alypaly · 03/08/2009 23:57

not a live in boyfriend cos he snores worse than my ex. and i had to sleep in the other room or downstairs cos of the noise, the walls almost caved in at night with the suction. used to wait til he fell asleep...about one nano second and then i wud disappear to a quieter room

Original poster
everythingistaken · 04/08/2009 00:18

yeh my ex snored too and took up all the bed, and he stinked yuck!

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Original poster
everythingistaken · 04/08/2009 00:22

had a mate that claimed her man did everything for her and was the best bloke in the world......... he left her for another women because he said she was lazy, so i heard.typical man.

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Original poster
everythingistaken · 04/08/2009 00:37

solidgold, 1st off their was no need to post on here as you are not single and are supposedly happy.
2nd their is no need for jeaulously because you have a man to answer too.

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