Where have all the fit and interesting men gone part ELEVEN

[lou33]

dollparts he messaged me through a dating site i forgot i was on

i think i am a bit odd in so much as i havent felt nervous about meeting anyone

hi all, have found you again.

firstly first dates scare the shit out of me as well - it's hte whole will they walk past & pretend not to see me thing!

anyhow, things with gymboy seem to be going ok - we had a first date on tues, but he was quite nurvous (I think) cos he wouldn't stop fidgeting & sniffing (am hoping it's not a drug problem! lol - althou think it might be as he drinks 3+ cans of pepsi max every day!) we're off for a date again tonight. He asked tuesday night when I was free next -i'm assuming that's all usual for him to be so interested & a good sign? also texted me twice tues night as well y'day & today. is it usual for a date to be at 9pm? not sure, althou he seems a night owl.

still anyhow, apart from that not much happening this end, oh the deejay has asked again for a date but am seeing what happens with gym boy first.

also blown out another blokey who wanted to go out on a date (too many similarities with XP - ie liveds at home with parents, and said hi the minute I logged onto msn, followed by claimed to be working yet was sat there looking for places we could go for a date - at home) so giving him a wide birth.

anyhow off to see what's been happening here the last week or so.

mousie - yes I do, along with text speak and also not being able to talk to me on my level iycwim. sorry to hear about your ex as well. Don't worry about the DD's father either - if he can't appriciate what an amazing DD you have then knackers to him, it'll bite him on the bum.

winnie - enjoy your week alone, i'm coming tot eh end of my week of freedom, and could quite cheerfully have another week if i'm honest! (oh well next time lol)

rj - hope your DD is OK now. anymore thoughts on the breaking of the cycle at all?

those who asked about rushing into it all, well with gymboy it's been about 2 weeks or so, he's really local thou plus it's like meeting in RL anyhow iycwim as we know mutual people in the gym.
XP we spoke for about 2 months, during which time I really liked him, but he told me a lot of stuff which basically turned out to be shite.
erm, there one was b4 footie fananatic who I spoke to for 4 days and he was a twat big time.
it's a hard one to call really cos I can get on with most people online/telephone but in person you might not have much to say to each other.

so how's everyone doing then? any new people on the horizon for anyone?

breaking cycle. - well i would like to say i'm doing well and taking my time with nice stable beachbum who all seems to be going along like a normal relationship.

then there is BigT who i am in talks with meeting this wkd..... who is completely unsuitable and following the cycle.

terrible isn't it.

not anyone new on my horizon. although i do have the birthday party of a policeman next friday which will be full of fit policemen. i have been assured there is lots of single fit gentlemen going

and a wedding the wkd after. which i should could invite beachbum to.... but i haven't. i'm taking a female friend ...weddings are far too much fun when your single to take a nm to.

Nothing new with me. Waiting for a friend to arrive, she's staying for a few days and we are going to a party on Saturday night. It's the son 21st of a guy we both know who. They are having a bbq, couple of bands and a DJ. We have to sleep in a tent in the garden but think it's going to be fun!!

Sorry that didn't make sense.

riding glad you're starting to break the cycle. I didn't XP to my cousins wedding when we were together - I was far more worried about DS so it's fine if you don't want to take him.

AE - no that makes sence/sounds like fun.

well gymboy was late for the date - but he seems to be late for everything. I don't mind too much at the mo thinkin it's part of his charm! but am trying to get used to a bloke who's not wanting to jump my bones the minute he sees me - as in even snogging, 2 dates and 4 pecks on the lips at the end of the night & that's all!! should I be worried - bit odd that is for em, nice like but if he's a crappy kisser then well it's game over for me! lol.

Hi All

Can i join you?
Im a single parent, just getting divorced. Started online dating a while ago - but wasnt really interested...
As the weeks go by im feeling more and more like my oldself again. Def got my interest in men back now.
Am having excellent fun on POF, and would like some people to giggle with about it all....

havingfun - hi, what area are you in, POF is good in certain areas. particularly up here in north were the men are all too tight to fork out for a membership.

have you any potentials that you would like to see on a date? need nicknames for them as otherwise it gets confusing.

southbelle - we're not taking dc as its only the evening bit we are going to. so doesn't start till 7.30pm.

hi all

sb - would want a bit more than a peck by this time but perhaps he is being respectful.

I am on hol from work atm so we've adopted usual holiday mode of going to bed late and getting up late.

Exh didn't receive the email too well (he is away on business this week) and wanted just the two of us to meet and would not show it to his new p!! Wonder why?

As it stands the dcs will not be going to stay at his until this is all sorted out. If he twists it to say that I am not letting him see them I will f*ing kill him. I am quite sure that the reason he doesnt' want me and new p to meet is that he tells her one thing and me another and retains control.

DCs have said they want to see exh and his new dts but not exhs new p. It is rather cliched and I don't like the fact she seems to be being demonised. i think my exh needs to stand up to her a bit more and stick up for his dcs when they are in her house.

So if it doesn't get sorted then it means that I will have no free time to do anything unless I pay a babysitter. Having a sat night every two weeks was better than nothing.

Will also be discussing this with samename who I have arranged to see next Monday. After that I'm away, then he's away so I can't see us getting to see each other for about a month which is no good for either party.

I've already told him I can't offer him what he is looking for but it's true I really can't.

Bottom line is dcs come first.

Oh bl**dy hell... I am now emailing three and msg one... had 3 hour msg marathon last night with thepianist (where does the time go?) He is quite keen to meet me & we do seem to bounce off each other iykwim but there are 'issues' including the fact we live 2 hours apart

I need to reply to thetrekker or he'll think I am not interested. I am not sure I am but should probably keep my options open lol

As for the other two its early days will update later.

well there are six i would probably meet up with
Thefestivalfan - who has today asked me out for a drink - seems nice, is a teacher, few years younger.. suspect we would get on
Thefarmer - beacuse he lives in a slightly rural place! We really click, things have got rather raunchy.... will see how that one plays out ;) Would def meet up with him!!!
Thebiker - who has asked me to go for a ride on his bike. again seems nice, not sure i fancy him
Thebuilder - fab body - nuff said!!! Clearly just after bit of fun, again, has asked me out for this weekend - have not replied yet!!
Thefireman ( coz thats his job ) lots of flirting, he too has asked me out, but i wont meet him, think he might be a bit needy.. plus he called me 'baby' YUK!
Thecarsalesman ( again, another job name ) seems ok, funny, but i dont fancy him either really - would meet him if he asked, might be different in person

erm... think thats if at the min.... anyway - am finding it all hysterically funny. oh and rj - im down south... but theres no shortage down here! LOL

oh excellent HF, plenty of choice then.

so whats happening is anyone going to accept any dates for this wkd?

beachbum has asked me to come round and he'll cook dinner as i wont be free till late on, and be too late to go to a restaurant. .

but then again..... staying in has its own benefits

so we'll see if things go to plan this wkd and there's no homeless waifs and strays for him to adopt

ooh hf are you really where abouts down here - so am I on POF just found idiots.

well my work mate said today I should jump on gym boy and snog him to get it out the way but as it is I blew him out to go and see the deejay. oh well!

still deejay - i'm still really really hot for. and we had a lovely time (esp after he answered the door with his towel around him and not a right lot else! - oh I say! lol ) not sexual or anything just chatting with a few brews n talking about random crap (ie his job) we both started stressed, - gives good hugs and I was in need of a big man bear hug! and ended up relaxed.

not sure how to go with him. Do I leave it be or see??? we did both agree neither of us want a full on relationship, but both miss someone to talk to/hug (just not all the possessiveness/jelous/wanting to have someone around you 24/7) so no idea, think it will be better to leave the past where it belongs - I know my parents would be happier, but don't think I would be. so we shall see - any thoughts on it. ho hum....

rj - no dates this weekend, am spending time with my main man (aka DS!)

gymboy said he'd text/ring & try to get together next week.

i would say answering the door to you in a towel was a big come on

what do you want to do?

i seem to still be v popular out of the blue for some reason

and i am still not active on any dating sites

tho i have found pof the best i guess, and i am down south too

Lou xx will check you out on Msn l8r.

Hi just wondering if you ladies can help me out. Where the hell can I meet a man, you all sound like you are having some good fun?

hi lucy, there's plenty of men. trouble is we are looking for ones who are fit, interesting and available

most of us on this thread are using internet dating. pof is decent free one. there are some paying ones which can be good depending on your area.

but there's also various dates and fellas have arisen from RL... work, nights out,etc.

lou - so are you still very .. meh? or thinking of having a date with any of your new interests.

south belle - the towel thing is a big come on.... am i getting confused somewhere?? is deejay an ex? or a new interest from pof.

as for gymboy.... i'd be wanting more than a peck after 4 dates. at very minimum you should have got a proper kiss by now. is he just shy? or do you think he's inexperienced? personally if i found someone was a crap kisser that would also be the end for me. kissing is a must... never mind the sex. i seen someone briefly and once i discovered he "didn't like kissing".. that was end of that.

so... as for me girlies.... you would have been proud.

seen beachbum last night. had another fab evening.

BigT asked me to go to his and i turned him down .... and guess what, he's in huff again.... numpty

breaking the cycle girls. breaking the cycle.

not sure if beachbum would qualify as a "nice" guy..... but he is most definately not a "bad un".

rj - no deejay, is an ex, v long story he was my first love at 16, (first real love anyhow) a hell of a lot went on between us in our last year of school, but it's the sort of thing that our dads went to school together/mums did as well. (well his mum daded my uncle I think so she's not a fave of the family but they all know each other) and yes he's a deejay in RL, and not just at disco parties - is on the radio & in clubs.

so we're thinking that it was a big come on then? (he did sit in front of me & I gave him a shoulder rub but as I say nothing sexual). if i'm honest thou, he is and has always been the one I secretly want, then again thou I've waited 12 years again for us to both be single. and now we both are it's looking like another 12 years before we actually do something about it - do I keep waiting in the wings, not being pushy but meeting for coffee/a chat/a hug when i'm down and see what happens or just give up and move onto the next.

it's deffo made me see thou i'd prefer someone with a bit more muscle/omph than gym boy - but then again i've not seen him topless yet!

gymboy seems to be the sort of do we don't we type when it comes to kissing. but like you RJ kissing is a big big thing for me and hugs has to be able to do both really well - not even had a hug! lol. good bits thou is he loves the same artists as me, (dali and not that many seem to appriciate him, but he likes other art as well & I do) he's also into similar music, is cute but I just don't know.

Lou - go you being v popular, are you having a break from all dating atm then?

lucy - agree with RJ. the net, RL, or both.

rj - well done you on breaking the cycle. so beachbum, what makes you think he's a gooden? and sod MrT, you are a beautiful swan who doesn't need bad ens remember.

oh and forgot to go to the drs about the councilling, mostly as i'd finally plucked up the courage to go then my nan said 'are you sure you're not just looking for attention as you have DS are working etc etc' and I was like no nan, I think I need it, i'm fine just trying to break the habit.

still reckons if neither of these two come to much in the next few weeks then i'm deffo gonna be saying meh! can't be arsed.

south - OMG ... sat behing you... in a towel... rubbing your shoulder....

of course he was coming on to you.he could have been more obvious if he tried..... but neither of you even so much as kissed after he did that?,....wow.

gymboy - think your going to have to simply pounce... have all your dates been outside in public? have you managed to get him on his own somewhere private yet? maybe he's just not a fan of PDA. perhaps arrange a dvd and takeaway date? or for him to collect/meet at house before next date?soon as you walk in the door give him a hug

beachbum - em... not sure. the small things...he made my dinner last night, pays attention to what i say rather than just waiting for his turn to talk itkwim.

Hi that seems to be my trouble, can't quite sem to find anyone vaguely normal!
My first attemot at internet dating not gone so well. Chatting with someone for a while arrange to meet for a drink, he seemed very keen. Texted couple of days before hand to say thought we shouldn't meet as he might feel like my Dad!? WTF I mean he was a few years older but its a bit deep over a bloody drink!

DO you all manage the dating and having children thing alright? Will give POF a try

well.. lucy my RL experience turned out to be completely weird. but everyone i've met online pretty normal. fair few complete arses and nutters and weirdo's that i've never got round to meeting or didn't want to meet.

dating and children is very difficult. you only need to read some of thread back to see how hard we find it. some of us only manage 1 date once every fortnight.

i only have 1 childfree night a week. which i need to fit other social events into. so getting time for date is difficult.

for example. last night i went out after kids to sleep. didn't get there till after 9pm. left at 4am. got up at back of 6am with kids. i am shattered. but was only way to see him this week as ex has buggered off again abroad so not taking dc this wkd.

if your children are very young and go to bed reasonably well then you are lucky that you can invite someone round to the house once they are in bed once you have been seeing them for a bit and you feel comfortable with them coming round.

gets trickier if they are older as then you will have to introduce the NM to the dc. and your only option to seeing someone is if you meet in your "me time".... which can be very rare to come buy.

especially if you have an ex who doesn't take dc overnight, family or friends who can babysit.

you should have just whipped the towel off and jumped him

i am not dating right now, been a bit off it, tho i am kind of tempted to take up again, but not enough to have arranged anything with any of them for sure

lucy how old was he , what was the age gap?

14 years! But in my defence he was fit! That does sound shallow he did seem really nice. He has texted since a apologised. I think he is a nice bloke and was maybe a bit flattered by at attention! He thought I might have a problem with his age but it was him all along!
anyway I have not had a good week with exH this week so probably shouldn't have been changing to him as a welcome distraction.
Just need a bit of me time and a little bit of male attention wouldn't go amiss!
Agree you should have whipped the towel