where have all the fit and interesting men gone part.....9? isit 9?

[ridingjoker]

ooooh i get to start the thread.
unless i'm being thick and cant find it.

lou - go on send me a pic of dark horse i'm so nosey.

ninah - i think thats really rude of your friend. if she didn't have anything nice to say she shouldn't have said anything at all.

tbh think it's more my pride/ego that's hurt more than anything else - what does that say?

also I'm nto whiter than white as have been in touch with exbf a few times since samename and I started dating (or whatever else it is).

Hence me not really wanting to push it too much (guilty emoticon).

But as I said before I don' t want to be taken for an idiot and my natural reaction is to confront him and ask wtf he is up to.

has everyone gone to bed? This is quite cathartic anyway - cos Im wondering if I should be more 'upset'.

It's a cross between being so world weary and cynical about relationships generally and having some level of uncertainty about samename and prob the whole idea of being in a relationship and also still have feelings for exbf.

Sheesh - why can't things just work out.

morning all!
scl don't know quite what to say really,he may not be actively looking for women just purely looking at messages/winks etc for a ego boost
hey we're all guilty of that!
and yes i know that you've gone beyond casual dating etc,but are you wanting to have a serious relationship with this man?
exbf too?
i did try to post last nite btw.but was on frd and then added another new contact to my msn!
will call him unknownquantity lol

oh and the latest with me
actionman rang me last nite and i had a rather frank chat with him about my situ and viewpoint on relationships
he is as ive said v much into me already and making plans for our future
i told him that i didn't want 24/7 and that life for me was v much about me and the dc and i liked/wanted it that way and am v much enjoying the single life
he sounded disappointed and says that he hopes i'll change my mind when i meet him as i'm everything he wants lol
anyway,am meant to be seeing him later but so far have heard nothing from him
so does this mean that i've been blown out for the first time in my life?!

lost for peace of mind you're going to need to ask him otherwise you'll be edgy and wondering what is going on
Could be quite innocent, I mean you were on there too .. but if you're going to be seeing him meeting family etc it would be as well to know where you are at. I don't think going to the pub was a bad sign sounds to me like he didn't want you to think he never went out with you
ASBM ARE YOU GOING? now you know he's dug out some nice Dire Straits for the car lol
has he chosen 'your' song yet tho
catch you later

oh hell cross posted
well that sounds a bit weird, you def did right thing to set him straight, very fair and honest of you and much needed reality check
do you have a time/place arranged?
and you have told a friend etc right

thanks asbm and ninah. Not going to say anything yet can't just ring him out of the blue with it would rather weave it into an existing convo.

Cos when I asked him about it before I felt rather stupid afterwards.

ASBM you have to go - just so you can see whether he'll change your mind LOL It's quite an arrogant thing to say really even if it's said in jest. I do believe that many men think that women need a man to fix/complete them.

Re the serious relationship issue - I think that's what is holding me back really from turning the online thing into a major issue - if I confront him and he then gets a green light to get really serious I would feel responsible if it all goes tits up - flawed logic I know but it might feel like a burden. Perhaps he senses something in me - ie I do like him but not all over him - and I think underneath he is v sensitive and of course has been majorly hurt quite recently.

I will raise it but not in a big way IYSWIM - having slept on it that's my gut instinct.

and funnily enough I don't feel particulary edgy about it - it's really not like me.

Reminds me of how I felt when I was thinking of getting a PI to check out exh (when he was h) - in the end I decided to maintain dignity, the marriage was on its last legs and I thought the money would better spent on something nice for either me or dcs. Just thought if he's doing it, he's doing it - never did find out. But of course he swore blind he hadn't ever been unfaithful. I do know (from reading his emails) he had a woman in Thailand who he had 'fun' with!!!

lost I agree, it needs to be face to face, and on relaxed basis
but asking him if he is chatting up other women doesn't have to represent a green light to serious! you've seen him a few times now, maybe want to get to know him better, and personally at that point I'd want to feel I was the only one he was seeing. Doesn't commit you to him as a life partner! there is a middle road ...
good luck
am all upsest for asbm now. Hope you do go on that date and he doesn't turn out to be a fruitcake - got to log off now for asda ... fingers crossed for you x

uggghh he'll be in dire straits if i have to suffer that in the car!
aww ninah don't feel upset for me honestly i am quite unfussed about it,he needed to be told although i admit i was blunt(vino talk)and yes maybe he has changed his mind which is fine,but i believe it's common courtesy to at least text and tell me that!
scl i think you're taking the right approach here with samename

scl i would play it cool

i had a v nice time btw and it didnt help at all to make up my mind lol

and asbm i agree its best to tell him what you dont want from him so he doesnt start getting ideas

well update time!
he has rang me to make arrangements so i will go out
but
he hasnt calmed down sadly as is sending silly texts

batman just messaged me saying he was home and had a great time and hoped i did too

that would be a yes

Evening all.

Well, drama as construction man asked me to meet up this eve. But then said he could only manage 10 mins!!! Fucking cheek! I said NO as I'm not having an effing 40 minute bus ride for 10 minutes!!

So that's been rearranged for tomorrow morning. Keen I guess. DS gets back from his Dad late afternoon.

Oh, and nice young man has messaged me back a few times...and I'm neeting Whirrel for a date next Friday. He is going to take me to a restaurant, ooh la la.

Blimey, like buses etc...

asbm - don't stand for any nonsense!

scl - I think your desire to talk to samename and sort things out is quite reasonable actually.

What is wrong with wanting to know where you stand?

isnt that always the way janos? it's all or nothing

btw if you want to add me on fb as well you can search for me by my email which is morticiatsf at googlemail dot com

I know lou It's like someone has flicked a switch or something? Still, not complaining..

I'll have a look for you on FB

no me either, may as well make the most of it while we can

at least that way when the attention has all dried up and we are outlandish pensioners we can sit and think back with a smile on our faces and say "ooh young maayan!"

I am looking forward to being an outlandish pensioner.

I expect DS to run round after me while I make unreasonable demands, as revenge LOL

i'm hoping I will still be dating when I am a pensioner.

Lou I am going to play cool generally with him I think.

If Im honest my heart isn't with him IYKWIM - not to say it couldn't be in the future but isn't at the moment. That I think is the real reason for my hesitancy.

lol janos

if your heart isnt in it then dont force it scl

yes - he is very nice company, I do like him and I do fancy him and feel very at ease when I am with him - maybe it's a slow burner.

Maybe it's the lack of angst on my part which is throwing me and I need to get my head around it.

My mate came over this afternoon and between us we sorted out back garden with some shears and secateurs.

Just need to do the front now. She gave me a much needed kick up the arse where gardening is concerned and I really appreciate it.

i wonder the same about darkhorse scl