where have all the fit, interesting and available men gone (part 6)

[sincitylover]

thrilled to be kicking off part 6 on a sinful note lol

Blaming the vino for texting samename1 and asking him out - he text right back suggesting early this afternoon but don't think I can make it as am waiting for my brother who is coming down to help me swap washing machines and is always late bless him!

Then had a rather raunchy chat with young guy who have been in touch with for ages - trying to think of a nickname for him - very good looking - lives in your neck of the woods Lou. Think we might meet up soon.

At least resisted the urge to text exbf.

Hi SCL

Can you not invite him back and make it clear you want to take things slowly - that way if things do develop you maintain control about how far/fast they go?

Also in this day and age, it should be possible for you to invite a guy back to just spend the night without it spelling the end for any further relationship shouldn't it?

Mind you, I'm probably the worst person to listen to but I would just go for it - am personally sick of game-playing and just believe in saying 'I find you attractive, would like to have a relationship and how about coming back to mine and starting one' - I wish!

Anyway, good luck and whatever happens, hope you have a bl**dy good time

lou wtf?
not what you need when you're ill either
god they can be so childish can't they as well as bloody selfish
hope you give him the 2 fingered salute once you get your money back
oh kdk!
him?
god what a complete nob!
he's always on there too,so he can't be having that much luck himself can he?
please dont have doubts about yourself
out of interest do you ever look thru the profiles of those without pics?
sometimes you can be pleasantly surprised by what you get

hi scl
god tricky one
it depends how he views sex and women doesn't it?
v.hard one to call this

@ asbm

have you spoken to him - when we've exchanged messages he's come over as a nice bloke but obviously internet messages can be misleading ... was going to ask him if he fancied meeting up so glad I didn't go that far!

tbh I've never bothered with guys without pics - I always assume they must be hugely unattractive if they dont put one up - also have been on completely blind date and never again - guy was at least 15 years older than what he'd said - I know you can put up an old photo but still ... just like to know who and what I'm talking to ....

asbm i have told him already, he keeps coming back tho like a boomerang

i just had a bath and its drained me lol

no i haven't spoken to him as i'm in diff.part of country to you
i don't have a pic on there actually was going to but bottled it aft.some of the hideous messages i received
i always give a pic if asked nicely tho of course
but don't let hook put you off!
lou you do sound very poorly
hope you're taking it steady there

how do you feel about him lou?

kdk - don't let knobheads make you doubt yourself I agree - it's not easy but you have to have faith in yourself. These things do knock you though I agree.

On a sadder note I was clearing some papers out last night and found some old phone bills - they were 25 pages long in some instances - mainly composed of thousands of text messages exchanged between exbf and I. I suppose I see that as evidence of how well we get on and that's what makes it worse. We could text each other for hours on end.

I know I have to try to move on but it's so difficult.

Exh is overseas atm which have noticed improves my mood no end because I don't have to see him/interact with him.

scl my friend can text me for hours on end, but it doesnt mean we are meant to be however well we get on when we see each other

as for him , he has had chances when he could have been with me but despite what he says, he chose not to, so there isnt much i can do about it

this has gone on for years, but it was only in the last few weeks that i told him i was calling time

i kind of expected to hear from him again at some point but i didnt think it would be this soon

he's a flake

yes but exbf is not my friend he was my 'lover' for want of a better word. Most of our texts were not idle chit chat they related to each other IYKWIM.

It wouldn't have crossed my mind if I hadn't cleared out those papers.

As for the other guy yes he sounds a flake - some people just want what they can't have.

yes but exbf is not my friend he was my 'lover' for want of a better word. Most of our texts were not idle chit chat they related to each other IYKWIM.

It wouldn't have crossed my mind if I hadn't cleared out those papers.

As for the other guy yes he sounds a flake - some people just want what they can't have.

scl my friend may be a friend but his messages have never been just idle chit chat, they have always been about us and his feeling

last time i saw him he spent an hour actually explaining how scared he was of his feelings and kissing my arms and hands

he stayed over because it was late but we didnt have sex, though we have done over the years

he makes it as easy or as complicated as it is, there has never been any pressure form me, if he truly meant what he said then he would have stepped up, so to speak

sorry I misunderstood your use of the word friend - I would classify that as more of a romantic interest.

I hear what you are saying but I still can't accept that all those hours in we were in touch were meaningless.

and finding these bills just made it all very raw again

i didnt mean to imply they were meaningless, sorry if you thought that

i meant from my pov, my friend (and he is a friend but just v confused about me i think)absolutely means everything he says at the time he says it

he just cant follow it through, but i dont see that as anything i have or havent done, iyswim

it is their failings and weaknesses which break the relationship i think

yes I totally agree with you - exbf has many issues - he says it himself.

onwards and upwards!!

Think my 'friend' (he really is a friend) from work who I go out for a drink on odd occasions with is geting a bit out of hand - he has started to tell me about trouble with his W and just made a rather flirtatious comment on the phone. Don't worry I won't be going there!!

so does my friend lol

i wish he had never turned up that day all those years ago nd told me how he felt

it has complicated what was a great friendship no end

i'm v confused about friends and exbf and lovers....oh blimey am i lost

better than a soap eh?

Have to say I think it's a good idea to keep friends and lovers separate. Only once managed to successfully do the non-platonic friends bit and that was a long time ago. Sadly my friend died but I feel that if he hadn't we would probably have made the move towards being girl/boyfriend in the long run.

I had a long term thing with an xp who became a friend (had been a friend before) and it just seemed to mess us both up. Neither of us made great successes of our 'real' relationships until we called an end to our extra-curricular activities. It was like we didn't really want to let each other go ... but didn't want to be together either.

Just messed with each other's heads really! I think the fwb scenario is quite a hard one to pull off really (bad choice of language) but good luck to anyone trying it.

i have done it successfully

this guy was never meant to be a fwb though, and i dont view him as that, in fact i try not to encourage it because i think he is a confused young man

he just needs to work out what he wants and how to achieve it thats all

kdk, dont let the b***ard upset you, just block him from your profile, you are worth more than him.

repeat the mantra " I am a yummy ......."

lou, I love reading your posts you make my life seem boring! lol

i imagine i sound like i court drama

but honestly i dont

last night i was feeling rough as a dogs backside, lolling on my sofa, when this all started

i havent contacted him since i told him i had called time weeks ago, so i can honestly say this is not of my instigation

similarly when i was on my date on sunday and my (other) mate was calling

Hi inthemist

thanks for your message - I know full well I shouldn't let it get to me - it's just like I said, the only attention I usually get is from guys who I find totally unattractive - not just physically but also because they can't spell, read the sun or say things like hi sexy .... the few times I either contact or am contacted by s/o I find attractive, they seem to suddenly lose interest as soon as I express interest .... not sure why.

Is it a sort of bed-notch thing or do they just like playing games? Or is it that I just need to set my sights lower/accept that I am unattractive/doomed to spend the rest of my life alone?

AS you can tell, I am right fed up atm!

which dating site are you on?

frd is the only paid one, also got profiles on pof and okcupid. Eejit guy is off Frd which is why it is even more annoying - have paid good money for the experience!