Where have all the fit and interesting available men gone...Part 4!!!!

[aseriouslyblondemoment]

and so it goes on...

no saw bob on friday, and sort of told him then but I dont think he understood what I was saying!

so have to do it again this eve.

how could he not understand?
thought that that was a woman thing lol.

no, some men you really have to spell it out to. marvelman looks to be one of these also.

oh dear!
do you think it makes it worse to say the lets be friends thing?

but.....it's march....... hoping to see diver this month!! yeah!

only had bare minimum contact from him since friday as he's being working hard.but hopefully he'll be finished at decent time and have a chat to cheer me up.

lol.

at least i've something to smile about when exdp being a twunt.

that would be nice
and do so hope that your ex doesnt manage to cause problems for your next meet

as for the lets be friends........that works with some men.

but wont with marvel, he's too keen.

we're going to try exp taking kids next sat.

i must confess to using that line myself as a means of softening the blow
but would hate to be told it myself

i think its about time he took his responsibilities seriously as i recently told my exh

it doesn't rain but it pours.

Just has a phone call, from my emotionally unavailable friend, wtf!

wanting a bit of a chat and to arrange a meet up?

seems treat them mean and keep them keen works in this instance! lol

shame it doesn't work on the one that I really want.

bit cryptic there inthemist
thought that that was my speciality lol.
who is the man you really want?

anyway, have just had the conversation with bob and he has accepted it so, hopefully no more txts at strange hours of the night.

the one that I really want is the one that got away, and that is all I am going to say.

sorry to hear that and i appreciate just how hard it can be

Sorry to hear that some of the new men weren't all that fit, interesting and available after all but there is no point in see someone if the signs aren't there. Just have to keep trying. I think the trick is, on the dating sites, to wait until someone gets in touch that you really want to meet, that way you don't waste lots of precious time and energy. Also if your heart is still elsewhere then no man even if he is right for another time, will get a look in.

I'm happy with mine atm and want to keep it going. Seeing him this week. I would ideally like it to be on a night time dating only basis. i.e a couple of times a week when I can relax and have fun. If it gets anymore serious as time goes on then great as long as he feels the same. If not then that's OK too.

Evening all, quick update about last nights 'date'! Was ok and I mean that in a good way. So glad I went. The fact that someone could actually find me interesting/funny/attractive was abit of a revelation really. My confidence must have taken a bigger beating than I thought over the past year or so! Anyway, he was nice. Chatty, confident but not cocky, funny. Defo good first date material. Thank you so much for the advice etc yesterday.

I totally agree with your thoughts about online dating Eve
and so glad that things are going well with the Capt!
Betty thats great news
would you see him again if he asked you?

Yeah,I think so. Hes keen! Defo not my 'type' as such but a nice guy all the same. Defo did me good. Suprised myself to be honest. Can't believe quite how nervous I was! Typically DS was up all night! Not great after aload of beer! ha ha

When you say - not your type. Which part of type was he that you didn't like? Perhaps better asked, which type do you prefer?

Eve. I would agree with you but I am past the trawling profiles and sending intresting people messages stage. I tend to wait for messages to come to me and even then I don't bother having a run around of all the sites to see if there are any messages.

Gosh. I might get old waiting.

Don't suppose I have a 'type' these days! And if my exh is my 'type' defo need a re-think! Suppose I just wasn't physically attracted to him. If I saw him in a bar, he wouldn't be someone I would give a second look too. Suppose there wasn't any instant spark. Do you know what I mean? Hope I don't sound shallow.

That doesn't sound shallow at all. The importance is recognizing that there is a need to feel some attraction, perhaps the need that there is a mutual feeling of attraction.

The suggested definition of "type" in this case seems to be more a feeling - perhaps specifically a feeling of attraction of the other person.

I talk to people and during conversation they sound (and feel) like perfect matches made in heaven. After meeting the real person the real feeling of attraction identifies and the missing links start to connect. If there are to few links that link, it's a "no go"...and a possible friendship.

I have to confess (perhaps I shouldn't) that I can count on one hand, the number of people who I had really good chats with being as good in real life as I felt they were while talking on a chat link.

when you talk to someone in chat it's purely their words that you have to take into account.

in RL you have to take onboard

voice (joe pascali could not)
laugh (some laughs get my hackles up)
body language and hand gestures
quirks (for example repeating key words in things they say)
eye contact (too little or too much is not good)

so it is no real suprise that most people you talk to in real life have one or more of these points which completely throw their words in a different direction than you had imagined from the online chat.

Inthemist - emotionally unavailable man sounds like too much hard work from what you say and will just mess you around, but it sounds like you know how to handle him.
RJ - Can't wait for you to see Diver again either, really pleased for you.
asbm - hope you're ok, sent you an email.
I've had a really busy weekend so just skimmed through the posts on here. I did have 2 weeks worth of ironing to do but got it down to about 1 weeks worth now! I'm going to have to tackle a bit each evening if I'm too get it done by the end of week, otherwise there will be too much to do next weekend....oh andmy daughter's just text me to say I have to help her with her Maths homework tonight! oh joy...
Myself and Fittie spoke last night and felt that Saturday went really well, and will meet up again within the next couple of weeks. He is a really nice decent guy, and we get on really well together. I was worried that I may have come across a bit too reserved in some respects or there may have been some other issue - I guess I analyse each little detail too much, but I feel much happier having spoken to him last night and the sparks are there which is good.
Like in Bettyboo's post I suppose my confidence has been dented because of twunt XH and his family so the fact that someone actually seems to find me attractive and actually listens to me and takes on board my opinions etc is something of a revelation!

Morning all!
just had a nose thru all the posts!
oh RJ had to laugh at Joe Pasquale,FFS what kind of a recommendation is he?
Betty i understand about the lack of a spark,when i recently went out with cheeky chops(lol remember him?!seems an age ago!)he was scared stiff,and very shy,nice looking etc but i had trouble warming to him but decided that i would give him a second chance
needless to say he didnt ask me lol!
Holly glad to hear about fittie thats sounding positive!