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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Original poster

Can anyone chat with me for a while right now please?

42 replies

OneDS · 04/01/2009 22:05

Technically I am not a lone parent yet, but I am so sad, on verge of breakup, will have to move with DS, start again, sort out finances, tell DP that this time I really am leaving, it is not a pull your socks up warning.

I feel so overwhelmed and sad and lonely.

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ChasingSquirrels · 04/01/2009 22:06

sorry to hear that this is happening, do you have to move out?

aseriouslyblondemoment · 04/01/2009 22:07

you will be oneDS
are you sure that you want to do this?

goldFAQinsenceandmyrrh · 04/01/2009 22:08

why do you have to move out?

Original poster
OneDS · 04/01/2009 22:09

here I can't stay, I will just turn into a shadow of myself with no trust or confidence.

I think I have entered the shit scared phase

Yes will have to move out, wouldn't want house on own anyway couldn't afford it and it is mortgaged in his name.

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Original poster
OneDS · 04/01/2009 22:10

Printing out notice letters to parents I mind for has made it hit home I think.

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Original poster
OneDS · 04/01/2009 22:11

I can'#t stay and both pretend we are happy can I? Please tell me.

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FeelingOld · 04/01/2009 22:15

OneDs, only you can decide what to do.

Its not an easy decision, its not easy being a lone parent but you can do it.

ChasingSquirrels · 04/01/2009 22:16

was skimming other thread
Not sure what to say really, you sound v low and something needs to change.

aseriouslyblondemoment · 04/01/2009 22:17

oh so sorry just took quick look at that link
please oneds try all you can to stay in the house
it's him who needs to move out
and yes will have to financially support you both

TotalChaos · 04/01/2009 22:18

at the very least get CAB advice if not legal advice about rights and finances.

Original poster
OneDS · 04/01/2009 22:20
Sad
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ChasingSquirrels · 04/01/2009 22:21

what will he do/say?

goldFAQinsenceandmyrrh · 04/01/2009 22:21

definitely go to CAB

FeelingOld · 04/01/2009 22:23

I split from my ex in the early part of last year, he wouldnt move out (he had been having and affair) so i moved out with the kids.

CAB will advise you about benefits etc and can also put you in touch with a solicitor who can give you 20/30 mins free advice.

Original poster
OneDS · 04/01/2009 22:26

I do not want to stay in this house, would rather have a fresh start and not be the bitch that took his house from him, not hat I could anmyway, plus to big for just me and DS.

I am meant to be back to childmidning in morning (been off two weeks for xmas), and work FT, so will find it hard to get to CAB.

I feel lost, just climbing into bed with ds and laptop, be back in a minute.

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aseriouslyblondemoment · 04/01/2009 22:33

he's the one in the wrong
you're no bitch either just looking out for ds which means looking out for you too
get on the phone in morning and get legal advice

Original poster
OneDS · 04/01/2009 22:34

How are you and your kids now feelingold?

Its such a big final step, once I have given my clients notice that will be it - and I will have to tell DP the same day.

Not sure how he will react, it's just once I have told clients and him there is no going back from there.

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Original poster
OneDS · 04/01/2009 22:36

What will I need legal advice on?

My main concerns is getting my benefits applied for, and finding the money for a private rental deposit. Was thinking of going into jobcentre plus and seeing a lone parent advisor - are they any good?

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aseriouslyblondemoment · 04/01/2009 22:37

please get on phone in morning oneds
and when you've had that first half an hour things will seem a little clearer
thou you have alot to get thru til you reach other side

goldFAQinsenceandmyrrh · 04/01/2009 22:38

you won't be able to see a lone parent advisor until you're actually on benefits (I know it's stupid but there you go).

Original poster
OneDS · 04/01/2009 22:41

Really?

So who do I see?

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techpep · 04/01/2009 22:45

It is scary, but once you've done it you will feel great, i'm sure. There is something very empowering about being a single parent and in some ways it is easier on your own. You know there is no-one to help so you just get on with everything without having a man sat on the sofa behaving like lord of the manor. Good luck.

goldFAQinsenceandmyrrh · 04/01/2009 22:46

ermm - I don't know I rang up to apply for my IS when exH moved out (well actually I rang up 2 weeks before he moved out - we were sleeping in seperate bedrooms and by all intents and purposes had already seperated just happened to be sleeping under the same roof - we were just waiting for him to move into his houseshare.

Original poster
OneDS · 04/01/2009 22:49

"so you just get on with everything without having a man sat on the sofa behaving like lord of the manor"

yes i really wont miss him sat watching bloody dave while I run around like an idiot!

I will get on the phone in morning then faq.

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Original poster
OneDS · 04/01/2009 22:57

Thank you every one of you for talking to me, it helps to get things off my chest.

No doubt I will be back on here tomorrow. Don't know what I would do without mn!

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