Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Original poster

<whispers> I potentially have a date tonight with a very nice looking (iirc) young man

115 replies

MascaraOHara · 27/11/2008 10:26

I'm trying not to get carried away as it might yet fall through (would't surprise me)

But eek.. I have a date! with a nice looking 28yo.. that I actually met in a bar a couple of weeks ago.

I've been playing it uber cool as I actually wasn't that fussed about meeting up with him, I think that might be what has kept him interested.. but now today is here, I'm feeling a little excited!

First proper date in some time and I'm a little hopeful as I haven't been 'looking' lately

OP posts:
cheekysealion · 06/12/2008 20:27

Knew him at school about 15 years ago... we were very close and there was attraction between us but nothing ever happened (he was shy)
we walked to his house every day after school. then he would walk me to the bus stop for me to get home..
we lost touch when i got in with a bad croud..

over the years i have often thought fondly about him and have tried to find him but couldnt..
anyway he finds me on facebook... we have texted all week then he was here last night...

TBH last night i didnt feel he fancied me but i fancied him!!! he couldnt keep eye contact with me he kept looking away (i thought you kept your eyes on someone you fancy?)
when he left he said dont be a stranger and i thought hmm not good sign... then he got home and was texting me to ask when i was going to go over to his and that he had had a great evening...

Tonight he has just called me we were on the phone 40 minutes.. asking when i was going over and saying how nice it was to see me...

I have been single for 3 years so i dont really know the signs to look out for- whether he likes me or not..

Think we need to go out for a night somewhere together...?

any advice greatly received..

i guess at the end of the day i am pleased to have him back in my life at any level

lou33 · 06/12/2008 20:42

he cant keep eye contact because he did fancy you, he was nervous

cheekysealion · 06/12/2008 20:53

OMG really...!!!!!

Thanks for the glimmer of hope... how exciting....

Original poster
MascaraOHara · 07/12/2008 10:20

Deffo agree with Lou..

don't force it though.. suggest a night out rather than in.. I always think it's more 'date' like than going to someone's house.

Sounds very exciting. Definitely a similar situation to mine at the minute

hope everything OK Lou, you know wher eI am in you fancy a chat

OP posts:
cheekysealion · 07/12/2008 19:04

thanks for the advice... i was meant to be going on another date next sat.. but dont want to go now..

Old friend and I have arranged to go out on 20th december - so i will keep you posted

what were you saying about men being like buses.. i have been single for 3 years and now 2 at once..

MOH- what do you mean by dont force it.. do you mean dont pressure it? - sorry it has been a long time

cheekysealion · 07/12/2008 22:12

dont worry about answering my question, he has just been round to tell me he doesnt feel the same for me as he used to feel adn no longer fancies me.... that was very hard to swallow

lou33 · 07/12/2008 23:18

hang on, he asks you out then turns up and says he doesnt feel that way about you?!

Original poster
MascaraOHara · 08/12/2008 08:43

CS, Ouch! what an idiot.

OP posts:
lou33 · 08/12/2008 09:14

moh how was your night?

cheekysealion · 08/12/2008 09:52

he texted me sat saying he would really like to take me and my children out and was gutted that it wasnt us and our children... i thought how sweet...

I was ill yesterday which he knew, we planned to talk on the phone in the evening..
he called me and said he was outside i jumped off my sick bed got dressed put some make up on basically running round like an idiot ... and i thought great this is good that he is here, even if i was panicing about how i looked ...

he came in said i dont fancy you.... i was compleatly numb.. he said do you want me to go.. and i just said yes...

I really now wish i hadnt of said yes i wanted him here although i know i cant change the way he feels about me..

I have always held a torch for him, and i didnt realise it would effect me like this to be back in touch with him I am a complete mess..

I know i was stupid to think we would be back in touch and pick up from where we left off. and i guess i should have given it a bit more time to maybe develop naturally..

There is so much i want to say to him i did say to him last night that i thought we had been given a second chance at us...

But i feel i may have been harsh in telling him to go but i felt compleatly numb.

But i dont want to ring him and make an idiot of myself by crying on the phone to him

lou33 · 08/12/2008 09:55

oh no how awful

what a cock, you must feel terrible

i dont know what to say, i'm so sorry

Original poster
MascaraOHara · 08/12/2008 10:13

CS I will never understand men don't know what to say, what do you think you'll do?

Lou, my night was OK but I'm not sure we will see each other again, or at least not for much longer.. kind of feel like it might fizzle out. will catch up with you on msn, very tired today - late night, busy day at work, sick child and unwarranted hangover. Feel BLEURGH

OP posts:
wintercitylover · 08/12/2008 10:56

Sorry to hear both stories MOH and CSL.

CSL - seems weird behaviour and particularly hurtful. Very sorry.

Me I'd like to hibernate til Spring atm.

cheekysealion · 08/12/2008 10:56

dont know really...

i learnt through my mistakes when me and ex split up the phone calls and the texts. so i wont be doing that...

I didnt really need this confidence blow to be honest... but it is what it is

I guess i was silly to think we would meet up and pick up where we left off all those years ago...

It has given me renewed determination to lose some weight - i need to feel good about myself again, there is no doubt about it that me being 3 stone overweight didnt help the situation... so i now have renewed determination, and if i lose weight that will be fab...

I just feel so low about it all.
didnt sleep a wink last night, kept getting up and writing down things i was thinking about..

I still would like to stay in touch with him, but not sure if that will be possibly because of the way i feel but i guess time will tell

cheekysealion · 08/12/2008 11:08

WCL- thankyou... i agree actually i am a bit angry i think he could have let me down a bit more gently, it was particulary harsh IMO.. all he needed to say was he didnt feel the same as he used to feel towards me...

i also think he was very brave saying it... i could never say it to someone..

This is why i have always felt i dont want another man in my life as i am so bad at dealing with the hurt... you think i would be used to dealing with the pain of it after my 2 long term relationships ended..

He has also had a lot of hurt in his life women have always left him...

I also feel he feels a bit of resentment towards me.. because i got together with the bad bloke of school and lost touch with him, which he has mentioned a lot this weekend..
I was with the bad bloke for 7 dreadful physically abusive years... and old friend has been in tears this weekend about the pain i went through with the man.. he feels i dumped him (friendship) for- he also brought round cards i sent him that he still has!!!

Oh i dont know why is it all so complicated

sorry that i am droning on girls but it is helping me make sense of it all

lou33 · 08/12/2008 11:11

you know csl i dont think he deserves your friendship after behaving in such a way

moh what happened?

mine got in touch last night saying sorry he hadnt messaged me yesterday, that he was ill and he didnt want me being cross with him anymore

i still havent arranged to see him again , will see what occurs the next few days

ninah · 08/12/2008 16:19

csl the man is a nob. He asks you out and then says he doesn't fancy you? sounds to me like he's bearing an old grudge, weird behaviour - not worth thinking about him for one more second!

Original poster
MascaraOHara · 08/12/2008 17:58

ninah! long time no 'see'

CSL - he's sounds seriously odd.. not being funny but I'd consider yourself having had a lucky escape

but can I say something that might seem OTT..

he's harboured feelings for you all these years, he builds you up and then he knocks you right down.. do you know his history with women because he sounds like he has the potential to become an abuser... if he calls in a few days telling you he's sorry and that he wants to take you out and then says something that really undermines your confidence.. run, run for the hills.

OP posts:
cheekysealion · 08/12/2008 20:06

thanks for the wise words MOH.. i will remember them..

I texted him this morning.. and have heard nothing back.. which is very unusual TBH, he always replies within 2 hours at the most..

I am desperate to call him, but my friend has talked me out if it she has told me to be dignified now and step back.. and i guess she is 100% right... so i am going to leave him to his thoughts..

Original poster
MascaraOHara · 09/12/2008 14:14

any update CSL??

OP posts:
ninah · 09/12/2008 14:17

hello MoH
csl your friend is right, leave him alone! lucky escape, honestly

cheekysealion · 09/12/2008 20:15

had a text from him last night saying he was sorry, but i didnt reply...

I am desperate to ring him but really trying to hold back, but it is tough..

ninah · 09/12/2008 20:17

well done
Like MoH says, run run run for the hills!

Original poster
MascaraOHara · 10/12/2008 20:28

How's it going CSL? any more texts from him?

Well done for not replying, think you have done the right thing but I know how hard it is to not.. I have no self control in situations like that

my 'NB' still feels odd saying that is popping round for a beer at 9ish.. we weren't both free until Sunday but he wanted to see me before then so is nipping round quickly tonight after he's done his other stuff.. sweet of him to make the effort

OP posts:
ninah · 11/12/2008 12:17

ah that's very sweet
I have the opposite situation, met man who wants to come round tonight but I really really can't face it and have made excuses.
Glad things are going well for you!

Swipe left for the next trending thread