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Original poster

Internet dating tips required please

101 replies

IllegallyBrunette · 08/11/2008 13:53

Or in other words 'shit, someone i messaged who i thought would never reply, did, wtf do i say'.

I have actually replied already but it took me ages and ages to type it out because I kept deleting bits and wondering if i was saying the right thing.

If he replies again I will be completely stumped, although I have not asked about his job yet,suppose I could do that.

I need help.

OP posts:
singledadofthree · 09/11/2008 21:49

cutey??

sure he's not 133??

Original poster
IllegallyBrunette · 09/11/2008 21:50

LOL, you saying i'm not cute then ?

OP posts:
zippitippitoes · 09/11/2008 21:51

you know you overthink lol

but i understand that so do i

i cant remember how long i exchanged emails with bf for not that long maye a couple of weeks then he said he thought we had emailed long enough and we should talk on the phone and could he ring me

on the phone we agreed to go on a date

our climbing wall date

cheekysealion · 09/11/2008 21:51

you def need to not overthink - i am guilty of this as well...

try and go with the flow

singledadofthree · 09/11/2008 21:53

cutey isnt a word i'd ever risk, just wouldnt be me - tho you are lovely

Original poster
IllegallyBrunette · 09/11/2008 21:56

LOL, thanks

I will definatly try and stop overthinking.

OP posts:
Liffey · 10/11/2008 11:25

He sounds good, but the cutey comment would worry me. He hasn't a notion what you look like or whether there'd be any chemistry between you, but he imagines that nothing would flatter you more than to be called 'cutey'.

I wouldn't have the nerve for internet dating so I envy you. Fancy speeding but not right now... Need to have a JOB first. Don't feel I can turn up and say, yeah, two kids, no job, no house that's it, all I have to offer is meeself!!

I want to be a bit more 'rounded'. If that makes sense.

Is there any speed dating near you? If you try it come back and tell me everything please!

Snaf · 10/11/2008 11:31

Well, you are a cutey!

Seriously, though, that would probably make me go but if it's the worst thing you can say about him, it's not so bad... He sounds nice, have a bit of faith (easier said than done, I know).

Snaf · 10/11/2008 11:31

*that would make me go

Original poster
IllegallyBrunette · 10/11/2008 14:04

He does know what I look like Liffey, I have 2 pics on there.

I'm afraid I don't have the guts for speed dating so I won't be able to tell you what it's like, I am way too shy for anything like that.

We have swapped a couple of messages since last night and there is still something that I can't put my finger on but I don't know what it is.

I get the impression form his messages that he could go on messaging me forever without us actually ever meeting up, kind of like he just wants someone to chat to.

His last message ended with 'speak soon cute one', so he obviously has a thing about the word cute/cutey lol.

I am going to leave it a day or two before I message him again i think.

OP posts:
zippitippitoes · 10/11/2008 14:30

some do seem to just message but one of you has to move on to the next stage

bf said something like we have exchanged emails its time to speak on the phone

he wasn't going to faff around he had a game plan

alleve · 10/11/2008 15:49

Meet him and don't put it off then you will tell.

As I've said I thought internet dating was crap. I've chatted to Zippi. I'm abouteve, alleve, whatever, and I heard her success story and saw the picture of her boyfriend who is lush, sorry Zippi to talk about you when you are in the room. I took the plunge 5 messages, no phone call then the meet.

He is lovely and if I told you how I had just spent today it would be censored . Anyway we had a lovely lunch.

Meet him, just go for it. My POF date was so different in real life than I got the impression from the profile and messages, to his advantage.

Hey report back.

I'm so loved up xxx

Original poster
IllegallyBrunette · 10/11/2008 16:01

Ahh that is so lovely alleve

I am not sure why, but i get the impression that if i suggested meeting up now he would say no.

I think I am going to send him a very short message suggesting we talk on msn and giving him my email addy. If he then doesn't bother adding me, I will know that he wasn't that bothered.

I do so want to believe that he is as nice as he says he is and I would eventually like to meet up with him to see if he comes across as more believable in rl.

Plus he is gorgeous, well I think so. I think might be why I am looking for faults as I don't normally get the good looking guy.

OP posts:
alleve · 10/11/2008 16:12

How far away does he live? If its near then skip the msn etc and arrange a meet. I've seen your profile pics so stop even thinking he is out of your league etc. Not true.

FWIW my internet lovely man doesn't live here and was visiting relations and just wanted to pick up female friends along the way on his journey through life. I'm hoping I've stopped him in his tracks, but if not then hey it was great and restored my faith.

Have you checked out the internet tips on internet dating. They recommened no more than five messages, then contact offsite, no phone calls before a meet. No amount of words on a screen, photos, or even phone calls can predict how it's going to be in real life so don't hesitate. If he's reluctant to meet then he's not worth it.

Also I lurch sometimes and you have mentioned that you feel you don't deserve someone nice, bollocks, you do and when you find him you will know it. xx Good luck and look forward to keeping up to date. xx

alleve · 10/11/2008 16:17

lurk, not lurch!

Pinkchampagne · 10/11/2008 18:33

Wow, IB, things have moved on since Friday!! He sounds nice! Good luck & keep us updated.

Bienchen · 10/11/2008 18:39

Cheeky, it was about two months. That's because I went away for a week's holiday early one and then after a while his computer broke and he was off msn for a bit and then his Mum who lives overseas came to stay with him...

I did not fancy him as such straight away, I actually found him a bit obnoxious. He was (is) nice looking, well spoken and all that but seemed a bit determined to be single and seemed a bit anti family, so I was quite sure he was not right for me/my DS. Turned out when asked outright that it was just some kind of defense mechanism on his part.

singledadofthree · 10/11/2008 22:40

i'd go for meeting up somewhere as soon as you can if youre really that keen on him.

you dont think he has any shirt lifting tendencies do ya?? ...all that artistic nature

Original poster
IllegallyBrunette · 11/11/2008 13:17

I don't think we will be meeting up. He read my most recent message yesterday evening and hasn't replied or added me to msn.

I know he could just be busy etc etc, but I think it is more likely I was right about this and he was too good to be true.

OP posts:
hauntedcitylover · 11/11/2008 13:26

Don't write him off IB, I am finding that some guys online are pretty erratic (sp?).

Even the interested ones.

Fingers crossed xxx

used2bthin · 11/11/2008 13:26

Wow you are still doing better than me with the internet dating thing though, I've replied to two e mails and neither men got back to me, then no one I've winked at has got in touch. The only men who are interested are very odd, typical! How long has it been since he said he'd add you? Don't give up hope yet!

hauntedcitylover · 11/11/2008 13:27

PS I think you are a cutey too

Snaf · 11/11/2008 13:34

Well, IB, looks like I'm going to need your tips too.

Have just signed up on a site (after telling a friend to pull my fingernails out one by one if I ever did so again...) - but have signed up and paid for 6 months instead of one month, by mistake. So I need encouragement to make the most of the almost-£60 I've just splashed What a ditz....

We can go through this together

singledadofthree · 11/11/2008 23:20

oi haunted!! i'm not eratic, its the women you can never predict.

and illegally - he could be really interested in you but not wanting to appear desperate by being over keen.

hope you find a decent fella soon, life is far more fun when shared

hauntedcitylover · 12/11/2008 11:48

I am sure you are not single dad. Perhaps it's because I am not really clear about what I am looking for.

However I have a couple of long term contacts who I haven't met yet although might do at some point and they are very hot and cold.

What sort of things have you found with women online - in terms of their being erratic?

TBH I take the internet stuff all with a pinch of salt!

IB has he contacted you yet.

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