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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

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Original poster

Internet dating tips required please

101 replies

IllegallyBrunette · 08/11/2008 13:53

Or in other words 'shit, someone i messaged who i thought would never reply, did, wtf do i say'.

I have actually replied already but it took me ages and ages to type it out because I kept deleting bits and wondering if i was saying the right thing.

If he replies again I will be completely stumped, although I have not asked about his job yet,suppose I could do that.

I need help.

OP posts:

Bienchen · 08/11/2008 18:41

Just take your time.

I met DH this way but we were talking for ages before I finally met up with him. Don't give too much away about yourself. We were chatting on messenger and that helped. Good luck.

singledadofthree · 08/11/2008 19:33

oh bugger - i'm gutted!!

and after you didnt want to go to the pics.

make yourself sound really dull n frumpy then he wont message back

Original poster

IllegallyBrunette · 09/11/2008 12:23

Not actually sure what to say now lol.

Afraid I didn't make myself sound dull and frumpy enough cos he has replied several times LOL.

Bienchen - I agree completely with what you said. I much prefer to get to know someone like that before I meet them.

OP posts:

zookeeper · 09/11/2008 12:38

apart from all the usual safety considerations I would exchange numbers as soon as possible and talk - you'll know instantly if you're going to get on with a phone call.

zippitippitoes · 09/11/2008 12:49

good luck

i found it hard to know what to say too

it doesn't really matter once you get past the initial bit

i agree try to get on the phone (tho i hate the phone myself) as you will know more then

alleve · 09/11/2008 18:45

I just reply to messages in a very natural way. Similar to how I post on here.

I said I hated internet dating but had a message a couple of weeks ago and replied. We didn't speak on the phone first, arranged to meet up, and he's lovely!

Good luck, you will find out more if you talk on the phone, then you can bypass the messaging.

Original poster

IllegallyBrunette · 09/11/2008 20:24

Well i replied and he has replied back, but there is something nagging me and I don't know what it is. It is almost like he is too nice. He hasn't said one single thing yet that has made me think 'hmm i dunno about that', but has said plenty of things which in my dreams my perfect bloke would say.

I had this problem at school once, turned down this lad because I thought he was too nice. Fast forward a few years, I am with shitty xp, and he tells a mate of mine that he would have treated me like a princess, and I then finally got it, he wasn't too nice, he was just nice full stop, and I did deserve someone nice, I just hadn't realised it at the time.

I duon't know if this is the same as that or not though.

OP posts:

zippitippitoes · 09/11/2008 20:26

he isnt too nice ib he is just nice they do exist

even on dating sites

fingers crossed for you

tell us about him

Original poster

IllegallyBrunette · 09/11/2008 20:33

Ok, he is 33, works in retail as a manager come designer, something to do with tiles i think. He has one son who is 7. He only sees him roughly once a month because he lives quite far away with his mum, which is where they lived as a couple before they broke up.
He gets on very well with his ex and her new bloke and so stays over there on his access visits.

He has now moved back to the region I am in so he could afford to buy a place.

He likes diy, cooking and even mentioned how cute babies are (his ex has just had one).

He hasn't yet been put off by the amount of kids I have or that I live in HA property or absolutly anything that I have said.
Tbh I sent him a message fully expecting to not get a reply so am a bit stumped really.

He just seems too good to be true, nice looking, funny, normal and not phased by anything.

OP posts:

Original poster

IllegallyBrunette · 09/11/2008 20:38

He has just been on about the garden in his old house which he designed and it just sounds too good to be true.

I dunno maybe I am just odd.

OP posts:

zippitippitoes · 09/11/2008 20:38

sounds lovely

but dont stay at the messages stage too long

he will be good practice anyway

just take things as tyhey come and have some confidence in yourself

there is no reason why he should be put off by anything about you

people are looking for people top spend time with and they mostly have a positive outlook so he isnt looking for reasons not to see you so you shouldnt be looking for negatives either

i havent found any negatives with bf yet

zippitippitoes · 09/11/2008 20:39

i am still saying why is he seeing me im such az loser speciazlly as i cant even get a job but he is relentlessly happy and optimistic

Original poster

IllegallyBrunette · 09/11/2008 20:45

Yeah I think you are right zippi.

He hasn't even hinted at meeting up yet or even talking on the phone, which is kind of refreshing in one way but odd in another. Lol there is no pleasing me is there.

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Original poster

IllegallyBrunette · 09/11/2008 21:08

Oh and zippi, you are not a loser at all.

OP posts:

Original poster

IllegallyBrunette · 09/11/2008 21:29

Ok he has replied again and it is still screaming to me that something isn't quite right.

If I am completely honest with myself then it is at the back of my mind that he is talking bullshit tbh.

OP posts:

Original poster

IllegallyBrunette · 09/11/2008 21:29

Oh and he keeps calling me cutey lol.

OP posts:

Original poster

IllegallyBrunette · 09/11/2008 21:30

Oh and he has just informed that he had a mini breakdown whilst in his last relationship. He has told me why, and if it is true it is completely understandable, but is also a bit far fetched.

OP posts:

zippitippitoes · 09/11/2008 21:30

why tho

because he has had a successful career and he is interested in gardening and gets on with his ex?

tbh no one is going to say anything bad aboiut themselves but some people dont have any bad traits particularly

zippitippitoes · 09/11/2008 21:31

cutey is a bit barf making if you havent met yet but heyho

Original poster

IllegallyBrunette · 09/11/2008 21:41

No it's not that, I dunno what it is lol.

I am just going to ignore the 'cutey' for now lol.

OP posts:

zippitippitoes · 09/11/2008 21:43

well dont make difficulties just chill and there is a good chance he will be every bit as nice as he appears

if you dont like him later then no loss but you have to give him a chance

cheekysealion · 09/11/2008 21:48

Best of luck IB.... you just never know

I have been talking to a guy off net for about 3 weeks, and progressed now to the phone....

plan to meet in a few weeks time...
he lives 2 miles from me...

Bienchen- it is good to know it can work some people have been telling me not to talk for to long before meeting but i am quite enjoying it at the moment.. and i need to feel comfortable before meeting...
how long did you leave the meeting for... and was he what you expected in the flesh?

Original poster

IllegallyBrunette · 09/11/2008 21:48

Oh yes I will definatly give him a chance as so far I definatly do like him.

I think I overthink lol, will try and stop.

OP posts:

Original poster

IllegallyBrunette · 09/11/2008 21:49

I will also stop checking for messages every few minutes

OP posts:

Original poster

IllegallyBrunette · 09/11/2008 21:49

Thanks cheekysealion, you too

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