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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

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Original poster

Do you worry about your health, or is it just me?

29 replies

onlyjoking9329 · 01/11/2008 23:22

i find myself worrying about my health rather a lot these days, i am all the kids have and having watched DH die from cancer i find myself worrying all the time.
i worry about the kids being ill too, i have a problem with sick i don't cope with it well and i am dreading any of the kids being sick.
how do other lone parents cope with this?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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ChasingSquirrels · 01/11/2008 23:24

i don't no, are you more likely to be worrying because of Steve? presumably so. don't know what to suggest.

Original poster

onlyjoking9329 · 01/11/2008 23:27

i guess that is part of it, i always thought cancer effected "other" families.
Steve always dealt with the sick bits, i got the poo and wee type stuff.

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ChasingSquirrels · 01/11/2008 23:29

niceeeeeee that becomes a bonus as they grow up and sort out their own toileting!
ekk, and just notice that I typed don't no and obviously meant don't know!

Original poster

onlyjoking9329 · 01/11/2008 23:31

they are older but still have accidents, they have autism and learning difficulties, so whilst in years they are older they still need a lot of help with stuff

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ChasingSquirrels · 01/11/2008 23:33

oh, now I feel like I have put my foot in it - sorry.

LittleWhizzingBella · 01/11/2008 23:36

Don't worry about it as such but am quite aware that if I died it would be a disaster for DC's. Not much I can do about it though.

Original poster

onlyjoking9329 · 01/11/2008 23:39

don't worry you haven't put your foot in it, i just get used to the kids being the way they are and forget to mention the autism bit.

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Liffey · 02/11/2008 09:51

It's no wonder that's a worry for you. It'd be your children's worst fear, so you're picking up on that probably.

I assume I am invincible. I worry about everything else under the sun though. Perhaps that's why I don't have room in my head for worrying about my health too!
Mind you, I jog and don't smoke, drink, eat crap, but that is as much for the good it does my mental health.

Jogging makes one feel a bit more powerful in a world one has little control over.

Can't explain it really, but i know it makes me feel tiny bit less of a miniscule powerless cog in a huge world.

Liffey · 02/11/2008 09:52

Mind you, just getting out for a jog would probably be such a hurdle. NO pun intended.

Original poster

onlyjoking9329 · 02/11/2008 10:03

liffy, I was thinking about running for the hills I have been pricing up treadmills, cos then I could run at 3am if I wanted to, I have a crap back so I have to be careful with exercise. I find gentle stretches to the wine bottle are good

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IllegallyBrunette · 02/11/2008 10:04

It is at the back of my mind sometimes, but lately I seem to worry more about me either having an accident or being killed by someone . No idea why.

I do worry about not coping if either me or the kids are sick, and this has got alot worse since I was sick last xmas. I felt so out of control and helpless even though my mum was here to help.

Everytime one of my kids now complains of tummy ache, my stock answer is 'but you don't feel sick do you'.

Original poster

onlyjoking9329 · 02/11/2008 11:42

I think you have hit the nail on the head, illness is out of our control. This last year has been massively out of control I need to get some control back I think.

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IllegallyBrunette · 02/11/2008 12:30

The only thing that helps me a little OJ, is to make myself stop and think.
I ask myself, ok, if we all down down with a sick bug or whatever, whats the worst that could happen ? Answer is, nothing terrible, we'd just all stay in bed, do the bare minimum of everything and not get up again until we all felt well enough.

It is hard to make yourself stop and think rationally, but if you can then it does help.

Pinkchampagne · 02/11/2008 12:34

I have been panicking about this a lot recently. I have been having panic attacks when falling asleep, as I fear something awful happening to me in my sleep & there being no other adult in the house to protect the boys.
I also have the same sickness fear, and am worrying about the boys picking up a bug & then me catching it, and not being able to cope.
When I lay alone in my bed is when it worries me most, as it's all quiet & dark & my mind runs away with me. Can imagine it is really difficult for you, OJ.

Original poster

onlyjoking9329 · 02/11/2008 20:19

thing is whats the worst that can happen has changed in my head these days. i always thought cancer happened to other families, now i know that isn't true.
on the other hand i think well things can never be as bad as the last year, but i am not very trusting of luck these days.
the kids need help to do most things so even if i am ill i still have to bath them and they need supervising at all times so i cant really leave them on their own IYKWIM.

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singledadofthree · 02/11/2008 22:13

i do now and then. mostly i wonder what i'd do for money if i couldnt work for a while. my mortgage and CT are £600 a month before i even think of all the other bills.
i do a lot of tree work thru the winter and have the occaisonal dodgy moment with an 'eek, that was close'. either me falling out or getting careless with the chainsaw.
otherwise ive never been the hypocondriac type, and dont really get sick.

it does effect you tho, having someone close die. my dad died when he was 30, i was only 3 and i grew up without a care about my health, just assumed i'd be gone before i was 30 so never really planned anything long term.

how wrong can you be?

wiggleit · 03/11/2008 21:56

Hi oj. maybe you should join the other thread - emetophobia, let's confront this fear together - as it is for all of us out there with a fear of being sick or others being sick.
I've had this fear all my life. My Mum died of cancer when i was 23 and i couldn't deal with the sickness that went with it, but luckily Mum knew about my phobia and understood when i ran out of the room or hospital if she or anyone on the ward were being sick! It's an awful worry, especially this time of year when all the vomitting bugs are going round.
Thinking of you.
I too worry about my health more than i used to since my Mum died. Am very conscious of my body. It doesn't help that my Mum's cancer is hereditary.

Hope you are ok xx

Original poster

onlyjoking9329 · 04/11/2008 23:55

one thing i dont have to worry about is money thankfully, i have a thread in health about my real health worries, i have a lump in my breast that is worrying me i have been refered and fast tracked to hospital.

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wiggleit · 05/11/2008 22:20

oh oj, hope all goes ok at the hospital, you must be worried sick. Haven't read the other thread but will look it up. Fingers crossed for you. xx

Pinkchampagne · 05/11/2008 22:58

Oh oj, sorry you have this additional worry. Hope all goes ok at the hospital.x

mrsmortenharket · 07/11/2008 09:43

oh no oj ((fingers crossed for you)) xx
mom had oc and i had cin I cells removed nearly 7-8 years ago now but still worry about things, it's a natural thing to do. i do worry about who will look after dd tho, am not too hopeful about her dad lol.

when's your appointment oj?(((((((((((())))))))

mrsmortenharket · 07/11/2008 09:45

i understand about the sick thing too, tho i am getting better at it
i had to catch it in my hand and dd's t-shirt the last time she was sick. i was nearly heaving but had to forget about it and concentrate on getting dd cleaned up

Original poster

onlyjoking9329 · 07/11/2008 22:23

sorry to hear you have had health worries too, i think when its just you with no family back up you do worry.
my appt is on the 17th nov

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mrsmortenharket · 08/11/2008 16:21

that's ok, at least they aren't there now that's the main thing. i think it's over thinking that gets you het up and then it's constantly there isn't it, at least until you can get it checked out. ((((((((((((())))))))))

wiggleit · 12/11/2008 23:29

Hi oj. Not long now till you hospital appointment. Thinking of you. xx

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