and I mean literally.
I cannot go on like this. Really.
I am bored of the dcs, eeven though I love them to bits, somebody else could give them a better life surely?
I am so fucking lonely. Every man I date has ishooos or wants sex.
Exh has moved on and is married now. He is ripping me off with maintenance. So much so, I am getting docked the money in my IS but he isnt paying it.
His wife is a cunt. And my kids tell me that too. She hits them, says things about mummy in front of them. Threatens to slap me. Devout religious the pair of them now.
My best mate and my parents fucked me off cause they all thought I was a shit mum, and my best mate told me so (in her married up, 3 bed house, 2 car, £1.300 Smeg fridge bubble)
I only told my mum not to smoke in here (1 year anniverasry coming up) My dad took her side...we have no other family left.
I have no mates left. The only ones left are enablers that I tell not to bring drink, and they still do. I am an alcoholic and have been for the past year or so. Been to AA, tried reduction, nothing works., Need a bloody detox but doctor wont offer it because I'm unsupported.
Falling behind with my OU courses. Always bloody working and can't afford childcare so means my kids are left to run riot and my house is wrecked by the end of the day. Then I try and clean it up.
There is no fucking solution. There is no support. My kids would be better off without me. All I ever do is work, clean up my house and get pissed. I try to go out on dates but exh wrecks it all cause the dd;s tell him....then arrives late.
I've been through DV without any counselling...and I think this is the root cause of it all...but I still want to die.
Can't be arsed anymore. Just totally fed up of being unloved, unwanted and unneeded. Criticised, moaned at and just being a shit person.