Any other lone parents struggling without a regular break from the children?

53 replies

aAaAaAaAhh · 27/05/2026 22:19

Im feeling so depressed never getting a break from my kids. I can’t explain how much happier I would have been to get every other weekend to myself! All the single mums I know get eow free which might not seem like a lot but that would be loads to me. It’s starting to depress me. They’d also be happier. Is anyone else in the same boat?

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putitonthewrongway · 17/06/2026 09:24

suburberphobe · 16/06/2026 23:21

weekends are much nicer when spent with another adult

Goodness me, another tone deaf reply.

OP, and everyone else, I totally get it. I've been a solo mum for 34 years now.

Utterly relentless, what with work, elder parent care, ex having fucked off and no financial child support....

BUT!

Going by many threads on here it's still preferable than having an asshole living with you....

At least I can draw my own plan in life.

Of course I've had relationships during it all. Never anyone I'd EVER move in though.....

I mean this respectfully, but not sure how that reply is “tone deaf”? Presumably you are referencing someone else’s comment but I have offered similar advice.
I’m a widowed mum to a 2 and 5 year old so I do understand the OP. I came back on this thread to have a vent to those in a similar situation, as my 2 year old had a stomach bug last week and I’ve caught it too this week. I’m absolutely on my knees and depleted. I know that the best thing for me is to speak to another adult (even if it’s only on Mumsnet)! It’s relentless parenting alone but talking to someone can at least help a little bit.

Original poster

aAaAaAaAhh · 17/06/2026 10:39

Lamanamechange · 16/06/2026 23:33

@Jeska7 yes, I agree, it is depressing. I think it is also the lived experience and reality of the many mothers who are left on their own, to carry the full burden of raising a child / children on their own; with no familial or other respite. Years and years of having not a moment of respite takes its toll. I am almost 7 years of no respite and don’t know how I am going to sustain the next 8/9 years. I personally am at breaking point.

And I also think that ONLY other actual lone parents - almost always mothers - actually get it. EOW single mothering is different. Or having an effectual other parent in the house means at least sometimes you can step away from the child / children even for short periods and get a “break”.

Lone parenting without respite for 16-18 years is a depressing heartbreaking existence. That no amount of gratitude, reframing, taking prescription medicine etc can help you survive.

I have tried counselling, various prescription drugs; gratitude diaries etc but there is no way of getting away from the frank reality of my life - which is that lone parenting is over time intolerable and spirit breaking. It comforts me to reconcile that is not a personal deficiency of my character / mental capabilities that I can’t outthink this intolerable burden.

And this is coming from person who pre kids was always the glass is full, not even half full. But never half empty.

It’s like being on a treadmill, and never being able to get off. Money would solve it - but I can’t magically find myself money to give myself every second weekend. I have a child who requires weekly physio, weekly speech therapy and fortnightly OT. Facilitating all this while barely holding onto a job means I have less money than ever. And finding creative options to make more money in the bleak condition I find myself in, is harder than ever.

Thank you, you’ve put it exactly how I feel. It’s something other single mums dont really get, being a lone parent is a whole different experience. I’ve had some many single mums say to me they know exactly how I feel as their ex only does every other weekend, well no actually you don’t. It’s completely relentless and not having even a single day off to look forward to really takes its toll.

OP posts:

Holli222 · 23/06/2026 08:26

aAaAaAaAhh · 14/06/2026 15:28

Well this was just a vent and to see if anyone else was in the same boat, I often feel like the only single mums whose kids dad doesn’t have them (even though I know I’m not) but it would be nice to hear it’s not just me

I am a single mum of 3 and I have always been on my own my 2 youngest are 12 and 9 and hopefully as they both get to transfers life will get that bit easier and I will get the odd break .

Keep going and take any offers of help from your children's friends parents evening on play dates where you can get a break for a couple of hours.
Being a single parent with no break can be exhausting . I find the only time it feels like a break is if we are on Holiday . Is there another single dad you know that you might be able to go away with so you can help each other out.

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