@Jeska7 yes, I agree, it is depressing. I think it is also the lived experience and reality of the many mothers who are left on their own, to carry the full burden of raising a child / children on their own; with no familial or other respite. Years and years of having not a moment of respite takes its toll. I am almost 7 years of no respite and don’t know how I am going to sustain the next 8/9 years. I personally am at breaking point.
And I also think that ONLY other actual lone parents - almost always mothers - actually get it. EOW single mothering is different. Or having an effectual other parent in the house means at least sometimes you can step away from the child / children even for short periods and get a “break”.
Lone parenting without respite for 16-18 years is a depressing heartbreaking existence. That no amount of gratitude, reframing, taking prescription medicine etc can help you survive.
I have tried counselling, various prescription drugs; gratitude diaries etc but there is no way of getting away from the frank reality of my life - which is that lone parenting is over time intolerable and spirit breaking. It comforts me to reconcile that is not a personal deficiency of my character / mental capabilities that I can’t outthink this intolerable burden.
And this is coming from person who pre kids was always the glass is full, not even half full. But never half empty.
It’s like being on a treadmill, and never being able to get off. Money would solve it - but I can’t magically find myself money to give myself every second weekend. I have a child who requires weekly physio, weekly speech therapy and fortnightly OT. Facilitating all this while barely holding onto a job means I have less money than ever. And finding creative options to make more money in the bleak condition I find myself in, is harder than ever.