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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

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Original poster

I am just soooo lonely!!

71 replies

gordieracer · 22/06/2008 17:14

Have been on my own now for nearly a year, and the weekends are just awful.
Everyone else is busy doing family stuff and I just would love some adult company or someone to talk to in the real world. How do other lone parents cope?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

ChasingSquirrels · 22/06/2008 17:19

I am only a few months down the line - but at the moment I am coping by seeing my parents ALOT. Need to move to this on at some point so will be interested in this thread.

dustyteddy · 22/06/2008 17:23

are you able to do some volunteering at the weekend? Very worthwhile IME.

fawkeoff · 22/06/2008 17:25

well i have only been on my own for 7 weeks, and am fortunate to have loads of friends without kids or who can come out with me......where abouts do you live????

Original poster

gordieracer · 22/06/2008 17:30

I am in Leicester. i have my son with me at weekends, I feel if I could just get out a bit and join some clubs I'd feel a lot better, just finding it impossible to find baby sitters. I've always beena bit of a loner so although I have a few friends, they are all over the country and quite busy with their own lives.

OP posts:

allgonebellyup · 22/06/2008 17:33

i know the feeling

Original poster

gordieracer · 22/06/2008 17:35

Ive had a look at gingerbread, but there doesnt seem to be one near. Just one social event on a saturday would cheer me up!!

OP posts:

snotbuster · 22/06/2008 22:53

I met a couple of other single mums at toddler groups (don't know how old your DCs are?) and we met up a lot at weekends to go to the park etc. Both of these friends now have new boyfriends though, which I've found a bit hard.
Just try and get out as much as you can - swimming pools/leisure centers/museums are always open at weekends if nothing else is.
But yes the lack of an adult social life is hard. Do you work or anything during the week? Otherwise doing a course is always a good way to meet people and a lot of colleges have a creche.

charliecat · 22/06/2008 22:55

Know how you feel. Sometimes its shit.

gillybean2 · 23/06/2008 12:28

I have this same problem. I avoid staying at home and get out as much as I can. Just going for a walk or being out in the garden pottering can make the time pass by. We visit the zoo and the indoor soft play center a lot.

Be proactive in contacting people to do stuff together. You will get a lot of knock backs though. Unless you are a lone parent it's really hard to know just how lonely and monotonous it can be. Try and find other lone parents in your area if you can. Or invite school friends over to give your children someone to play with and then invite the parent in for a quick coffee. My family are pretty useless. The last time my sister phoned was a month ago to ask if I could babysit for her and if so could i come right away...

Gilly

wheredowegofromhere · 04/07/2008 16:56

If you have some time without the children and enjoy walking the ramblers is a great association with very sociable people. There are groups all over the country.

Good luck!

Vincenza · 05/07/2008 17:28

There is a website called www.singlewithkids.co.uk. THey do meet ups around the country and also days out and holidays. May be worth a look. I have just booked my first camping holiday with them. Am REALLY nervous as I hate meeting new people but I think it is really important to keep putting yourself out there.

Hope that helps

LonelySingleMummy · 07/07/2008 21:45

Hi Am in the same boat really so will be watching this thread
I find evenings the worst when my son is in bed x

charlotte121 · 08/07/2008 16:34

lonelysinglemummy thats what i find is the worst too.... Im kept busy in the day time as dcs are constantly needing attention and then they go to sleep and the silence is deafening... i just sit alone in the dark and cry sometimes... i dont want to go to bed because its empty, i would love to fall asleep with someone cuddling me.
I know things will get better once dd is a bit older and i can get a babysitter but at the moment my life is the same day after day and i think im going to turn into a zombie.

farrowandball · 08/07/2008 17:03

hey. just wanted to add my voice too. its incredibly hard. no-one who isnt a lone parent will ever really understand how tough weekends are. not because the kids aren't grand, and not really because its relentless, but because you have to do everything and be everything and generate everything. i feel like i exist in a weird bubble.

for me, though, i find i feel worse when good stuff happens and there is no-one to share it with.

and i feel scared too. because there is nothing and no-one to catch me when i fall.

and if my mum tells me once more its easier because i've only got one child and she had three (as a sahm with a husband bringing in a good wage) i'll scream.

rant over - dont want to monopolise. i suppose the point is that other people know how you feel. and thats something.

be brave. its got to get easier...

AMAZINWOMAN · 08/07/2008 17:27

farrownandball, I think having one child is harder then 3! One child is a lot more intense and they want your attention all the time, with 3 at least you can throw them all in the back garden!!

dora101 · 08/07/2008 19:00

one child is definetely more difficult. my dd is always after my attention. it is impossible to do anything when she is with me. it is exhausting.

dragonstitcher · 09/07/2008 10:46

I'm only 5 weeks single. My 12yo and 8yo have been going to X all weekend, every weekend since. I still have 16yo who doesn't want to see him. As she has finished school until Sept when she goes to 6th form, I've been letting her stay up, so I don't feel lonely on an evening. That will have to change in Sept though. I don't know why I'm craving male company so much as X was never much company anyway. I want to get out and meet people, so I'm thinking of finding out what local groups there are.

poshtottie · 09/07/2008 11:47

If you have babysitters you could try finding if a dance class is in your area. I have danced salsa for about 10 years now. DH works away and I am on my own for long periods. You don't need a partner and its a great way to meet people of all ages.

girliefriend · 10/07/2008 14:34

Hello am going to join in as well! My weekends look something like this

saturday get up, breaskfast, dressed, morrisons, if feeling inspired might go and look round a few charity shops - dd still at age where she quite likes them!, home, lunch, bit of cbeebies while I tidy up, the park if not raining, home , tea, dd to bed, me sit down and wonder where it all went wrong!!!!

Sunday are worse so will try and find someone who isn't doing anything to go round and annoy!!!

It is so rock and roll.

There are no single parent groups in my area that i can find (am in somerset btw) XxX
XxX

happynewme · 10/07/2008 20:51

There is a Frome single parent group.

All I would say is that it DOES get better. I found it very hard when DS was baby/toddler but now he is 6 weekends are much more fun - invite his friends over - swimming - pocket money spending - little ones are cute but i find now he is older at least have good conversation.. even if it mainly revolves around cars!

MCSomerset · 25/09/2008 21:06

I'm part of a single parent group in Somerset if you want details? we have an adults meal out planned near Bath in November - that wouldn't be too far from Frome? Mandy

retiredgoth · 25/09/2008 21:22

....yep.

Know that feeling.

....evenings are lonely and weekends are lonely and exhausting!

Going to work (bless my employers and the "school hours term time only" contract) is sheer relaxation....

When childcare verges on the non-existent the idea of an "adult night out" seems all the more alluring for its impossibility...

(Still working on childcare for December 17th.... My favourite band playing locally. It will be done!!)

MCSomerset · 26/09/2008 15:50

Hi RG - maybe you could come along to some of our solo parents days or evenings out? If you want to give me your email I can send you more details? They're not as awesome as they sound (and nor are we!) I don't know how to send a PM on this forum? (duh!)Whats the band? MC

MCSomerset · 26/09/2008 15:53

And RG - are there no teenage students in your area who would "sit" for an evening for a few quid? Can't you get a few other parents to have yours for sleepovers? Just a thought - nothing is impossible...Mandy

fransmom · 26/09/2008 17:53

i hate evenings too, have got into nasty habit of watching telly

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