Sleeping on the sofa at 12 weeks pregnant 😞

[TiredButTryin5x]

just needed to vent a bit sorry xx

i’m 12 weeks pregnant now n still sleeping on the sofa every night. got 4 boys in a tiny flat n no room left at all. oldest has box room, two middle ones share, little one still in with me (or meant to be). but he kicks all night n i just end up on sofa again. my back’s gone n i’m not even that far along yet 😩

i asked the council for help but they said i’m “adequately housed” cos we got a roof over our heads. but it don’t feel like that. i’m exhausted all the time. boyfriend don’t stay over n hasn’t offered to help with housing stuff. just feel like no one sees how hard this is.

i’m doing my best but it’s not enough. just want somewhere we all got a bed 😢

Very well written post 😊

If you’re “just hanging on” why did you decide to have another child?

I think children are both those things. OP has three bedrooms and personally I could make that work. You might not be able to, but then you struggle to see the joy or the blessing in the children so I imagine would find it extremely trying.

Good for you. But what about the OP made you think that applies here?

Getting a double bunk in the biggest room, a double bunk in the second and the baby with you in the box room is the only practical solution.

The council won't and shouldn't give you a bigger flat. A 3 bed is more than most taxpayers have.

Cone on! You have 4 kids that you can’t house properly and another on the way. You didn’t think this through very well did you?
I have one child with one father. We could possibly afford 1 or 2 more, but we have decided not to have another as money will have to stretch further.
You don’t have 2 or 3 kids if you can’t afford them and you certainly don’t have 4 or 5. Where are your senses?
Do all your kids have different fathers?

But a 3 bed for 5 children is not ideal at all. Those 5 kids will turn into teens and they will need more space, how would OP make that work? How would her kids study with constant noise in the background?
With her income it would mean that OP wouldn't be able to afford extra circular activities, books, computers needed for her kids to study.
Children are a blessing, I agree but they are also a huge responsibility. As parents we must put our existing children first and think about what's best for them.
If we don't, nobody else will.

Why isn't some of the hate directed towards the fathers, who should be supporting the children. Rather than hating on the mum who is providing for them.

The fathers here are scum. But they aren't on MN asking for a bigger flat.

It isn't the father's posting, and it isn't the father's pregnant with their 5th. They'd get plenty of "hate" if they did post I'm sure. And I'm not sure it's accurate to say OP is providing for them...

I'm curious if you keep having kids because you want to have a baby girl?

no maintenance from the other dads? So there are multiple fathers (or at least 2...) that do not provide for their children? What a shitshow.

As for your sleeping situation: Get a pull-out bed / sofa and sleep on that or have your DS sleep on it. But you can't continue to sleep in the same bed when he's kicking you.

I read that you forgot to take the pill. Has that happened before? An IUD sounds like a better idea to me.

Did you get yourself tested for STDs? You presumably weren't using condoms.

He’s around a enough to get pregnant, despite having 4 kids, no childcare and apparently no bedroom to sleep in!

This situation is part of what is very wrong with this country. Glad I have the opportunity to FO back to mine, when ready. That includes not having kiddies.

You have posted threads before where you have got the exact same responses and reactions from users. Those threads have also ended up spanning pages and pages. So why are you surprised and ‘not expecting’ the response? 🤔

OP is a complete attention seeker. This has got to be the same person who started a thread about having her 5th child, no father living with her (to boost housing i imagine)

Shes started another ridiculous thread. Obviously to gain attention, or as another poster puts it, shes dim.

this does not sound stable, your not thinking of your other children who will probably be affected by all of this.

I’m so sorry you had to deal with that - that’s horrid. Yes we are the same - sitting just above every threshold means you pay for everyone but get nothing back.

im just so angry about it all the time - I should probably stop reading Mumsnet with all these people who have free access to contraceptives and don’t use them, fathers who think it’s ok to do nothing, and parents who don’t give two craps about their child’s higher education. Someone said earlier they that social mobility is hard…. Well of course it’s hard if you dont make the effort to find out that you actually have to apply to college your child doesn’t stand a chance. And what was she doing instead? Getting pregnant by another waste of space man. That 15 year old is going to start college (if he actually starts) in a tiny flat with a baby and even less attention than he had before - of course he has less of a shot at life. But don’t worry - his mum gives him hugs 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

Op, life can’t be just a series of events that happen or don’t happen to you. Please find a source of professional support, enrol on a course that will result in employment, and stop being so passive in your own life. You are now responsible for yourself and five other people.
Contact everyone and every organisation and sort through your options.
Shelter, Crisis, your nearest post 16 education centre, the job centre,

Get all the information. Make decisions. Take control of your life.

This. I think it’s just rage bait at this point. Always generates the same responses and a huge thread. OP always claims ‘I didn’t expect everyone to get angry!’

It isn't ideal. But will the older still be at home when the 4th and currently still youngest child is a teen? Or the current baby?

Somebody wrote that OP's oldest is 15. It's reasonable to expect him to have moved out within the next 5 years (especially when one considers the overcrowding).

Maybe read back through the posts I was responding to. OP can be in a dreadful situation and still love her children and consider them a blessing. It’s not an unusual sentiment and certainly not one she needs to stop feeling because she is poor and single.

Why not rent privately.

Hi OP.

Do you have a local free cycling group in your area? You’ll often find such groups on Facebook. They can be a great way to save things frok going into yhd tip whilst finding free items that you need.

I think a sofa bed could be a good option got you in your lounge and if you regularly follow free cycling groups sofabeds quite frequently turn up on them.

What job do you think the OPs 15-year-old will get with just GCSE's ( or not even those)? Her previous threads say he lies in bed all day and is not interested in studying.

You do realise that more young adults who are in between 20-35 are living with their parents right? Because cost of living is too high and it's the quickest way to save up to buy their home?